Taking Flight

"I don't know," I said, watching her.

"They have one," she said, showing it to me. "They have two beds in this room but only one bathrobe."

"Huh," I said.

"I guess we'll have to share it," Meredith said, and she immediately turned red. "I mean, maybe not at the same time."

"I wouldn't complain," I said impulsively, then wondered if I had taken it too far.

I looked down, but when I looked up again Meredith was smiling at me.

*****

I heard Meredith moving around in the bathroom for a few minutes, probably getting all of her toiletries out. Then the shower started. I sat on the bed imagining what she was doing in there, imagining what she looked like. I thought about her naked body, tried to imagine the size and shape of her bare breasts, the curves of her body. I was aware that I had gotten very hard, so much so that it was becoming uncomfortable in my jeans.

I snuck up to the door and held my ear up to it. I'm not sure what I was expecting to hear. An unfamiliar impulse of voyeurism struck me. I reached out to touch the doorknob. I wondered if it was locked or not. I knew it locked, because I had heard it lock behind Meredith when she used the bathroom earlier. I hadn't heard it this time.

I turned the doorknob. It wasn't locked. I pushed gently and the door opened. My heart was racing so hard I would almost think Meredith could hear it. I knew this was wrong; I knew it was a violation of her privacy, whether or not she actually cared. But I was overcome by that desire I had for her. I wasn't going to walk in there. I wasn't going to do anything to her. I just wanted a peek.

Meredith was humming something in the shower. I think it was the song she had played for me earlier. I put my head in the door. The bathroom was already steamed up. I could vaguely see her silhouette behind the shower curtain. I kept telling myself to close the door, to stop this foolishness, but for a few moments I felt paralyzed. I watched her movements. I couldn't see anything, just that shadow, but I was transfixed by it.

Eventually I came to my senses. I pulled my head out of the bathroom and slowly began to close the door.

Then, Meredith's voice: "You can join me if you want, Sam. I left the door unlocked for a reason."

I popped my head back in the door. Meredith was peeking out of the shower curtain, her wet hair now deep red and straight. Her face was also red, but she had a smile.

I couldn't speak for a few seconds. I didn't even know what to say. I just stared at her, and she stared back. She disappeared briefly and sounded like she was adjusting her position. Then her face reappeared. Meredith bit her lip and looked away shyly, pulling the shower curtain to the side and showing her breasts.

I'm pretty sure I looked stupid standing there, and that my mouth was opening as I stared, paralyzed again, at the sight of her wet, naked breasts. Meredith watched me, studying my face. She pulled the curtain aside a little more, showing her stomach.

"I know I'm fat," she said, looking away again.

"Y-you're not," I said. "You're beautiful."

"Thank you, Sam. You're sweet," Meredith said. She pulled the shower curtain completely to the side, showing the rest of her body. Below her stomach lay a generous patch of black pubic hair, and as I stared at it I could see just the top of her slit. Her thighs were somewhat thick, shaped in such a way that I instantly imagined myself licking my way up them.

In that moment, I knew she was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. But I'm not sure what she was able to read from my stupid, open-mouthed expression.

"Say something, Sam. I'm dying here in front of you," she said, looking down at her body.

"I think I might be in love with you," I said. It was the first thing that came to my mind. I was kicking myself for it mentally only a moment later.

"That may not be the best thing to say right now," Meredith said, "but I think I feel the same way."

We stared at each other for several moments, and then she covered herself with the shower curtain again.

"Maybe instead of joining me right now, you can wait in the bedroom while I dry off?" she said. Her voice was deeper now, and I thought I saw a little glimmer in her eye.

"Okay," I said, "I'll just wait for you."

"I won't be long," Meredith said, smiling shyly, before disappearing behind the shower curtain.

*****

I was sitting on the bed, my heart beating fast in my chest, when Meredith appeared wearing the hotel bathrobe. Her hair was still wet, hanging in her face. She was looking at me seductively, or at least as close an approximation of that as she could manage, as I could tell from her expression that she was very nervous.

"You're still wearing your clothes. Not fair," she said.

I took off my shirt, and then my jeans and socks. I sat on the bed again, wearing only my boxer shorts. My cock pressed against the fabric in a very obvious way, and I could see Meredith's eyes on it.

"About us sharing this bathrobe..." she said, and stepped over to me. She pushed herself up against me and kissed my lips, and I kissed her back. Soon our mouths were open and our tongues found each other's. Meredith was in a frenzy of sorts. She began kissing me all over my face, shoulders, and chest, and then pushed me onto my back.

She bent over and began to make her way down my stomach with warm, soft kisses. The bathrobe was open and I could feel her large breasts brushing down my thighs as she kissed her way down. When she reached my boxers, she looked up to me, almost as if asking permission. I nodded.

Meredith pulled my boxer shorts down and my hard cock popped out. She held it and planted soft kisses down the shaft.

"I've never done this before," she said. "I've never, um, sucked on one. But for some reason I really want to try with you."

"O-okay," I said.

Meredith gingerly wrapped her lips around the head of my penis, looking nervous and reluctant. At first she just sucked on the head, moaning softly, and as she became more comfortable with it she took more and more of me into her mouth. I felt like my hands should be doing something, so I began to run my fingers through her wet hair. After a minute of me probably hopelessly tangling her hair, Meredith looked up at me, began kissing her way back up my stomach and chest, and said, "That doesn't really work with wet hair, but thank you for trying."

She kissed me on the lips again, and as our tongues played with each other's again I could feel her straddling me. She pressed her pelvis hard against me, and I could feel her pubic hair and slit rub along the shaft and head of my cock. She pushed even harder and my cock slid between the lips of her vagina. She was warm -oh so warm- and wet from the shower and arousal. She gasped and moaned as she ground her pelvis up and down my cock. I could feel the hard little nub of her clit and her soft inner lips against me, and it would have been really easy to cum right there and then but I fought against it. I wanted this moment to last.

"Sam, I want to ask you something," Meredith said breathlessly.

"Okay," I said.

"Can I feel you inside me? I know we can't come back from that, so I want to be sure this is what you want as well."

"I do. I do want that. Yes."

"Okay, Sam," she said. Meredith reached down beneath her and I felt her hand grasp my cock, which was already wet with her juices. She rubbed it against her opening and then lowered herself fully onto it. All of me slid into her immediately, all the way to my balls. She gasped and bit my shoulder gently and her body began to shake.

"Are you okay?" I said, feeling suddenly alarmed. I had never experienced anything like that.

"Yes," she said, her voice muffled by my shoulder. "I think I just had an orgasm."

"Already?"

"Uh huh," she said, and she looked into my eyes. "I was on the edge since I felt you against me."

"Meredith, can I taste you?"

"Do you really want to?" she asked, looking puzzled.

"Of course," I said.

"Okay," she said, and she lifted herself off of me. My cock slid out of her and hit my stomach with a wet slap. I got off of the bed and Meredith lay down in my place. She took off the bathrobe but still lay on it, completely naked and as beautiful as she was when I first saw her in the shower.

"Should I open my legs?" she asked. A nervousness was back in her voice.

"Yes," I said. Meredith opened her thighs. I noticed that her pubic hair was dark red, rather than black as it had appeared when she was in the shower. Her labia parted slightly as she spread her legs, revealing the wet, pale pink opening of her vagina.

"It's not that I don't want you to," she said softly.

"Should I not?" I said as I got between her legs.

"It's just that it's been a long time for me. Charles hasn't shown much interest in that for, I don't know, many years, really."

"Oh," I said.

"What I mean is that I don't have a lot of confidence in anything about myself. Including how I taste, or my scent, or anything. I don't want it to be bad for you."

"Don't worry," I said, and I began kissing her right thigh, staring near her knee and making my way up. She began breathing more heavily.

"I like that," she whispered.

"Good," I said, kissing until I was almost to her vagina. She began quivering, and her breathing got faster. I then began kissing my way up her left thigh, starting again at the knee.

"Oh God," she said, her voice muffled again, this time because she was biting her hand.

I neared her vagina again, but this time didn't pull away at the last second. I licked the edges of her pubic hairline and then her outer lips. I paused to breathe her in.

She knew what I was doing. "Is it okay?"

"Mmm, yes," I said. "It makes me hungry."

Meredith giggled.

I opened her lips with my index and middle finger and thrust my tongue into her vagina.

"Oh!" she said, and grasped the comforter.

"You taste amazing, too," I said softly.

"I'm glad," Meredith said, and I could hear in her voice that she was smiling. I felt her thighs relax.

I licked her happily, hungrily, feeling an exhilaration that I hadn't felt in years. I knew what we were doing was wrong. I knew that almost certainly there would be some kind of consequences of our actions. But none of it mattered in this moment. I wondered if maybe we really were in love, and whether this might just be the start of something that might give us both new hope in our lives. I tried to put thoughts about the future out of my mind, though, as it seemed to threaten to intrude on this moment and give it too much weight. What is important, I thought, is that tonight I'm with Meredith and I don't want to be anywhere else.

After a few minutes my tongue was fully inside her and was growing fatigued. I pulled it out and then flicked playfully at her clit. Meredith breathed harder still.

I lifted myself from the bed and crawled on top of Meredith. She looked into my eyes, breathing hard through her mouth.

"I never thought I'd get attention like that again," she said, then turned red.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"Yes," she said. "It's just that it seems so wrong but it feels so good at the same time. Not just sex, but being with you. The whole thing. Just being together."

Then she covered her face with her hand. "That sounds stupid, I know. I can't put the words together right," she added.

"I feel the same," I said, and brushed some loose clumps of damp hair out of her face.

"Well, that's a relief, at least," she said. "Will you... you know... inside me?"

"Cum, you mean?"

"Uh huh."

"Do you want me to?"

"Yes. Yes." Another smile.

"Then yes for me, too," I said, and we kissed.

My cock, still rock-hard, slid into her once again. We kissed and breathed heavily into each other's ears as I thrust in and out of her. I could tell she was really into it because I felt her nails running up and down my back. Part of me hoped she wouldn't leave marks, but most of me didn't care.

For several minutes we made love -I know now to this day that it was not just sex, but making love, in its purest form- gently at first but then harder. By her moaning and the way she held me as I moved inside her, I could tell she liked it when I pushed harder. The bed creaked beneath us as it shook with every thrust. Our bodies moved in perfect sync, and as I got closer to climax we were both moaning into each other's faces, looking into each other's eyes.

"I'm... ugh..." I said as I was on the verge of ejaculating.

"Mmmm, yes, yes, please," she said in response, and my cock erupted inside her. We both moaned and shook for several moments, holding each other tightly. We didn't speak at first. When I looked into her eyes again, we both laughed shyly.

"Do you still think you might be in love with me?" Meredith asked.

"Yes," I said.

"I'm in love with you, too."

*****

We showered together -her third of the day- and went down to the inn's restaurant for supper. This time we sat closer together, talking quietly, giggling and making jokes with one another. Meredith's face was radiant. I felt relaxed, satisfied, and happier than I had been in years.

At one point Meredith leaned in and kissed me softly on the lips, and at that moment Ron and Shirley walked by our table. Ron looked uncomfortable, while Shirley shook her head, but there was a mischievous smile on her face. Meredith and I laughed and she leaned into my shoulder, covering her face. I felt like we were a couple of high school kids in love.

After dinner we went back to our room and lay on my bed, watching the news. The storm was completely past and they felt that flights would be able to depart the next day. Meredith and I looked at each other, and there was a bittersweetness in that moment as we were kicked back into reality. I kissed her forehead and she leaned into my shoulder like she had done at dinner, except this time she began to cry.

"I don't want to go back to my life without you," she said through her tears.

"What would you like?" I asked. "If you could have anything for your future, what would you like to do?"

"To leave Charles, and to have you leave your wife, and for us to always be together, for the rest of our lives," she said.

I smiled and kissed her wet cheek.

"Is that wrong?" she said. "Is it wrong to want that?"

"Who's to say?" I said. "This is our lives. We both want this. We can make it happen."

"I'll need a little time. Just give me some time to figure out how to do this, and I'll signal you. I'll call you, email you, something," she said.

"Okay."

"Will you wait for me? When I call, will you be willing to give up everything? I need to know that now."

"Yes, without a doubt," I said. "I will give up the whole world to be with you."

*****

We spent that night in each other's arms, and the next day flew out to Los Angeles. We weren't able to get two seats together. Meredith was a few rows in front of me, on the other side of the aisle. We could still see each other, though. I spent much of the flight looking at the reddish curls of her hair, thinking about her, about the time we had spent together, and about the future we were preparing for. Every few minutes Meredith would look back at me and give me a little smile and sometimes a wave. That longing to be with her was still strong, that desire to have at least one more moment with her, alone. I knew the time would come, however, when we would be together again, beginning what would hopefully be a long life side-by-side. Maybe she would begin writing songs again. Maybe I would be sitting in a club somewhere, listening to her sing songs that were written in the light of the happiness we had with each other.

There were more tears when we parted at LAX. I didn't have long to catch my connecting flight out to Oregon, and she was nervous because she didn't know where Charles was, though she knew he would probably be late to pick her up.

"Don't lose my email address and phone number," I said.

"Even if I lose the paper, it's locked in the vault," she said, looking serious and pointing at her brain.

"Good," I said, and I leaned in and kissed her. When I pulled away there were tears in her eyes again.

"It's going to be so hard to be without you, even for a short time," she said, and the tears began to roll down her pink cheeks.

"I'll be waiting, and I'll only be a phone call away," I said. "In the meantime, even before you have things sorted out, you can call or write me any time."

"Okay," Meredith said. "I love you, Sam."

"I love you, too, Meredith."

We embraced and kissed again.

"We'll be together again in no time. We'll figure it out," I whispered as we held each other.

"I know," she said. "I already feel so much joy and hope that I feel like Charles might be able to tell right away that something has happened. He'll be able to read it in my face."

"Well, then we can be together even faster then."

*****

When I arrived in Oregon, the first thing I did after picking up my car was to drive to a used record shop in Portland. I found a CD with a heavily-scuffed jewel case, the debut album of The Fear of Traveling. There was a picture of Meredith on the back, looking pretty much the same but a little younger and thinner, with hair that looked very early-90's, holding a guitar that I guessed was the same red one she still had. The CD was expensive for a used CD, which I attributed to it being rare and out-of-print.

"This is a great one. A real unknown gem," the girl behind the counter told me when I bought it. She had a nose ring and a sort of retro punk look.

"I just recently discovered them," I said.

"Well, you're in for a treat. This woman," she pointed to the picture of Meredith on the back of the CD case, "has a pure heart, a poet's soul. I keep hoping she'll come back and make another album someday."

"I hope so, too," I said.

Janet didn't understand why I brought my portable CD player to bed that night, or why I wanted to listen to some scratched up CD I bought at a shop in Portland, but she didn't make a big fuss.

In the darkness, the first track started, and the soft guitar and sweet voice of the woman I now loved more than anything on this earth filled my ears. It was a song about longing, about wanting something that was almost within reach but not quite there yet.

We'll reach it together, I thought, and began drifting away, imagining that Meredith was sitting there singing me to sleep.

*****

Within a year, we were together again, for good this time. We began renting a small house in California, and, a short time after our divorces were finalized, Meredith became my wife. She's begun writing music again and is working on her first solo album, which she is recording in the small studio we set up in the garage behind our house. I'm her engineer and her number one fan. We are still very much in love.