Taking the Anal Plunge

My husband and I tried anal sex for the first time a few years ago. It was my birthday gift to him. I wasn't wild about trying it, but it seemed really important to him so I agreed. I have to admit it wasn't great, for me anyway, although my husband seemed to enjoy it a lot. I was really nervous and had a hard time relaxing, but since then we have learned the do's and don't that make it great and I must admit I really enjoy it probably as much as he, when it is done right.

I wanted to write this to share what we have learned and hopefully help anyone who is interested find their way to fulfillment also in this particular area. So, for all you ladies whose partner has asked but you just weren't sure and for all you guys who are trying to talk her into it and for anyone else who just wants to know this is for you.

1) It is really important to let go of any preconceptions about it. If you grew up like me you probably either heard nothing about it but just got the general idea that it was dirty or actually heard someone tell you it was dirty, painful, etc. you can fill in the blank. All I can say is that having experienced it, I really like it, it feels really good (believe it!) and what we do in the privacy of our home is no ones business but ours.

2) The receiver must empty out. I have found this to be very crucial to whether or not it is a pleasurable experience. Now my husband is quite generously sized so maybe it isn't always important for everyone but it can't hurt and it most certainly helps. Buy an enema and use it according to the package directions a few hours before the planned event. Be sure to wait the full five minutes, if possible, before emptying out. Take a shower or bath to get cleaned up.

3) Drink, a little, don't get sloshed but drink enough to be relaxed and maybe lower your inhibitions a bit.

4) Do whatever turns you on. This is probably more important for women as sometimes it takes a bit longer to get going. Guys usually don't need much encouragement. So watch a movie, read some sexy stories, sit and talk to your partner or whatever works for you.

5) This is for the guys. You need to make sure you are not so fired up about this that you cum in record time. However you do that is up to you. Get your partners help if she is willing or take care of things yourself but make sure to time it appropriately too. If she is all ready to go and you are all done... well enough said.

6) Set the mood. Send the kids to bed or better yet get a sitter and a hotel. Light candles if you like, play music, dance or whatever makes it special for you.

7) Guys, she will like it better if you can get her aroused even orgasm once first and then bring her back again close but not quite. If she is really nervous about trying this or has tried it and not liked it previously you need to move in for a back massage now. Use lots of oil or lotion and concentrate on just relaxing muscles first, then when you feel her relax, move to the butt muscles, remind her to relax if need be, talk to her if you know she likes it. You might want to use a flavored oil if you plan to use your tongue (which by the way I highly recommend) around her anus.

Watch for signs of what she seems to like and do it again. Oil your fingers really good and try to slip one in, be gentle and make sure you nails are trimmed short. If you need, use more oil and get her used to the sensation of your finger then, try two fingers. Take your time and take your cues from her. When it is time for you to slide your penis in, again use lots of oil or lubricant and go slow. It takes a fair amount of pressure to get it in the first few times just keep going and make sure you have enough lubricant.

If this is her first time stop once you get the head in sometimes it stings and takes a minute to get used to having your penis there. (See why I told you to get a release first before trying this)You might stoke her clit or have her do it or you can use a vibrator but bring her back to arousal and get her to forget that it hurt initially.

(A side note: it doesn't always hurt the first time but sometimes it does so be prepared to distract her.) Once you have her focused on pleasure again you can slide your penis in a little more, and a little more, you get the idea take you cues from her. Now it has been my experience that there needs to be some clitoral stimulation for her to orgasm. Have fun figuring it out!