tagNovels and NovellasTarget on My Back Ch. 04

Target on My Back Ch. 04


We decided that we needed to go back to my apartment to feed Mrs. Brown Ears even though it might get both of us killed, and that it wouldn't hurt to grab a few things like a toothbrush and some clean underwear. On the trip there Max suggested I should just keep these things in my purse at all times to which I replied that would kinda make me seem like a whore. We debated the ancestral origins of Benedict Cumberbatch, and before we knew it, we were at my apartment. Max decided that she would go in and feed Mrs. Brown Ears, because while Target was looking for me, they weren't looking for not me. The plan was foolproof.

We arrived at my apartment complex as night settled on our quiet little town. I waited outside under my living room wall that had been blown away by an RPG or whatever Target used to dole out customer service. As the minutes went by, I became increasingly anxious that something bad had happened. Had they captured Max? Did she remember how much food to give Mrs. Brown Ears? Was Mrs. Brown Ears being a little cunt about eating her num-nums? I would have sworn hours had passed when Max peered over my living room wall and waved me up.

I sprinted inside, up the stairs, and into my apartment for what could be the last chance to snuggle Mrs. Brown Ears. Once I stepped inside, my heart dropped like I had just found out Steven Universe was going on another hiatus. On my fucking couch, in my fucking blown out living, was fucking Cindy, with fucking Mrs. Brown Ears, in her fucking lap, eating fucking pizza. Cindy waved "hi" and smiled. She was wearing an eyepatch now from when I took her eye out with a hairball. Max was able to catch me before I launched myself across the living room and beat the customer service out of her.

"Whoa!! Whoa! Easy girl," said Max, restraining me and copping a feel. I slapped her arms away and straightened out my top.

"What are you doing in my apartment!" I screamed. Cindy flinched and her eyes went wide like I had just told her santa wasn't real.

"Well, I was supposed to be waiting for you to come back like Greg said you would. I ordered a pizza while I waited and was supposed to call him when you showed up, but Mrs. Brown Ears decided to a nap in my lap, and I can't reach my phone," said Cindy, here eyes moving to her cell phone on the edge of the coffee table.

"Did you even feed my cat?" I shouted again.

"Of course I did. I'm not an asshole. You guys want some pizza?" said Cindy, leaning forward carefully as to not awaken Mrs. Brown Ears and holding out the pizza box. Max took it and helped herself to a slice.

"Thanks," said Max with a mouthful of pizza, holding the box out for me. I went to reach for the box when I realized that it was Papa John's and quickly smacked the box out of her hand. The box screeched like a wounded animal, baring it's fangs at us before skittering off somewhere in my apartment.

"Papa John's!? Are you serious?" I shouted.

"I had a coupon," Cindy said casually, as if she wasn't taking another bite of the most insidious pizza known to man.

"It's not that bad, Jackie," said Max, gnawing the crust like a dog with a rawhide.

"It is that bad. Look," I said, stabbing a finger in Cindy's general direction. "You need to leave. Tell Target I'm sorry or whatever. If they don't call this off I'll, I'll...get a job at Wal-Mart and then they'll have a price war on their hands."

I could hear Max muffle a squeal of excitement at the thought of working with me, but I had no intention of ever laboring in a Wal-Mart...again.

"Could you hand me my cell phone. I was supposed to call Greg when you showed up and it's already been like five minutes," said Cindy, leaning toward her cell phone and whining but unable to reach it.

"Oh, sure," said Max, picking up the cell phone and handing it to her.


"Thanks, so much," said Cindy.

"Easy, Jackie. I would have done the same for you."

"That's not the point!"

Cindy's cell phone rang out with the chorus of "Shut Up and Derp", and we all fell silent.

"It's Target," said Cindy, accepting the call and bringing the glowing phone to her ear. We politely remained silent as she took her call.

"Uh huh, yeah. I mean, I'm supposed to be on APA tonight. No, that's fine. Yeah, I'm on my way." said Cindy, ending the call and sliding her cell phone into her bra.

"Okay, so looks like I have to cashier tonight. Will you guys be here when I get back?"



"Awesome, then I guess I'll see you guys tomorrow around noon."

Mrs. Brown Ears yawned and stretched in her lap then flopped off to the side and began cleaning herself once again. Cindy got up from the couch and dusted the cat fur off her lap. She gave each of us a quick hug and left my apartment.

"Looks like we got plenty of time to gather supplies and get out of here," I said, sitting on the couch and petting Mrs. Brown Ears.

"Dude..." said Max in a accusatory tone, "we said we would wait for her."

"But she's trying to kill me!"

"Yeah but, if we left, that would be a DICK MOVE."

"Fine, we'll wait for her to come back. But I want to be ready to bail when she does. We need to get my things together, and have a plausible excuse to politely leave when she comes back."

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