Tattoo of Love Ch. 12

"Good." He placed a kiss on the top of her head. Silence fell between them for a few moments, and as the clock on the wall ticked, it became the only sound in the room. As Nolan's voice broke the silence he said, "I don't have to take this trip, you know. I'll gladly stay here and be with you."

Julia thought it over for a few moments and then said, "I'm fine with it. I think you should go."

"Really? I don't like the idea of leaving you alone. It bothers me."

"Well I do have Mimi and she's pregnant as well, so we'll be great support for one another."

"I know she's a close friend of yours, but I need to be here for you, as well. Being separated from you is going to be twice as hard now."

"So do you not want to go?"

He offered a small shrug. "On one hand I do, because it would enable me to make some great money and advance my career. But I'd feel like a total jackass leaving you alone for three months."

"Here's what I think about it. If it enables you to make more money, then in the long run it would be better for us, right? I mean we do have a baby on the way."

"Yeah, I guess that's true. I still don't feel right about it, though."

Julia lifted her head from his chest so that she could look into his eyes. "You could always cut the trip shorter, that way you could come home sooner."

"That's a good idea. Instead of staying for three months, I'll only stay for one. How about that?

"Sounds good."

"Great, then that's what I'll do." Taking Julia's hand in his, he laced his fingers with hers. "You're being so understanding about this. I really appreciate that."

"I just want you to be happy."

"I already am happy. I've got you, haven't I?"

She offered a little smile and rested her head against his shoulder. She'd never been very comfortable with abrupt transitions in life, but it was now imperative for her to learn how to adapt. For change was imminent and fate was unfolding, silently arranging the events of their future.

* * * *

As a breeze blew through the window, filmy curtains billowed along with it, carrying the scent of cooking food. The temperature was unseasonably mild for a fall evening, and allowed the couple to lie comfortably in bed with only a thin sheet covering them. Placing his palm against his lover's body, Nolan allowed it to travel up and over the sheer material of her bra, venturing further south until it reached the smooth plane of her stomach.

Casting his eyes upon her belly, he thought of the seed which was currently growing inside of her womb. It was hard to imagine Julia's stomach full and round with his child, but he knew it was only a matter of time before her body began to change. Nolan was still getting used to the idea of them becoming parents, and was definitely nervous about fatherhood, yet he also couldn't help feeling a bit of excitement at the thought of it.

They'd created a life together, and although he hadn't planned on starting a family this soon, he was ready to do everything he could to properly provide for his unborn child. Resting his hand against the curve of her hip, he slid it across the warmth of her body, and as it met with the flesh of her thighs, he loving caressed the softness of her skin there. The way he touched her sent chills up her spine, and she loved the way he so tenderly caressed her.

"You have such a beautiful body." His orbs roved admiringly over her form, taking in every inch of her lovely brown skin.

"Will you still think that when I'm big and pregnant?"

Raising his gaze he said, "Of course I will. Your baby belly isn't going to make you any less attractive to me."

"I won't be able to wear my sexy underwear for you anymore. Won't you miss that?"

"They make maternity lingerie, don't they?"

She nodded in response.

"So then we'll just buy you some new stuff."

Her lips curved into a little smile, and as he placed his palm back against her stomach, she met his eyes with a soulful gaze.

"So what'll you think it will be?" He offered her a curious look.

"I always had a feeling I would have a boy. What about you?"

"I don't know, but I have to admit that I'm hoping for a son."

"What if it's a girl?"

"I'll be happy with either, of course. I just want the baby to be healthy."

They fell into silence for a few moments, and as Nolan studied her face, he could sense she had something on her mind.

"What are you thinking?"

"I'm just wondering if I can really do this. I'm feeling pretty unsure about it."

"What, you mean having the baby? I thought we'd decided to keep it?" Distress filled his eyes as he thought about the alternative.

Lowering her gaze from his, she focused her eyes upon the print of the bed sheets.

"Talk to me, Julia. Tell me what you're thinking."

"I just don't know if I can be a good mom."

"Well why not?"

She offered a little shrug. "I guess I'm just nervous about it due to the way that my own mom is. She wasn't very loving to me when I was growing up."

"Just because she was that way, doesn't mean that you have to be, as well."

"I know, but I still worry that a bit of her may have rubbed off on me." Glancing off into the distance she said, "I promised myself I would never turn out like her, but it seems kind of inevitable, considering the way she raised me."

Nolan took her hand in his. "I understand you didn't have the greatest relationship with her, but that doesn't mean you won't make a great parent. You're going to be a fantastic mom."

"You think so?"

"Of course." His finger stroked gently against her temple. "You're not having second thoughts about this, are you?"

"I was for a bit, but not anymore."

He looked steadily at her for a few moments and then said, "Just remember that you're not alone in this. I'm here to support you in every way."

She gave a little nod and he leaned in to place a sweet kiss upon her lips. As her stomach gave a grumble, Nolan uttered a small chuckle.

"Sounds like somebody's hungry."

"I'm starving. I haven't eaten since lunchtime."

"Julia, that was six hours ago. You shouldn't go this long without food, especially not in your condition." The tone he used was lightly scolding.

"Yeah, I know. I was just so stressed and worried that I forgot to feed myself."

"You have to start taking better care of yourself. That means you eat regularly throughout the day, and if you feel tired at all, I want you to take it easy, understand?"

She emitted a faint giggle.

"Did I say something funny?" His eyebrows rose in a questioning manner.

"No, not really. It's just you get this little v-shaped crinkle between you're eyebrows when you're upset. It's sort of cute."

"I'm not upset, I'm concerned."

"You're being bossy."

"Well it's for a good reason. Now that you're carrying my child, it's my responsibility that you're properly looked after. I'm not trying to control your life, I just want to make sure that both you and the baby are well."

"I understand."

"Good. He tenderly stroked her cheekbone and asked, "So what do you want to eat?"

"Hmmm," her voice trailed off as she thought it over. "Well this will probably sound funny, but I've got a serious craving for fish and waffles."

A smile curved his lips. "Fish and waffles? That's an interesting combination."

"It probably sounds completely gross to you, right?"

"No, I think it might be good. People eat chicken with waffles, don't they?"

She released a small laugh. "Yeah."

"Fish and waffles can't taste too bad, then. Now that I think of it, it actually sounds pretty tasty."

"So you're actually going to try it?"

"Sure, why not? I'm willing to give it a go."

Nuzzling her face against the pillow she said, "The only thing is, I'm too lazy to get out of bed and make it."

"No need to do that. I can make it for you."

"You know how to cook?" Her brows shifted upward.

A smile tugged at his lips. "Well don't look so surprised. I'm not completely helpless in the kitchen."

"Good to know. I might have you utilize those cooking skills more often."

"You can utilize me in any way you like." Nolan gazed suggestively into her eyes.

"I think I've done enough of that lately, don't you?" Glancing down at her stomach, she offered it a pat.

He gave her a little smile and said, "I could never tire of having sex with you. Now what kind of fish do you want?"

"Salmon would be good, and do you have any blueberries?"

"Yeah, I think I've got some. Why, you want me to add them into the batter?"

"If you could, that'd be great. It's been a long time since I had blueberry waffles."

"Well I guess I better get on it then, huh?" Nolan pressed a feather light kiss upon the tip of her nose, and then got out of bed and slipped into a pair of plaid pajama pants.

"You sure you don't mind cooking?"

"Of course not. You're my sweetie, and whatever you want, you'll get."

"You're so good to me. Thank you, baby."

Leaning over the mattress, he pressed his lips to hers in a tender, lingering kiss. "It's no problem, I'm happy to do it."

Her eyes followed his masculine form as he made his way toward the door and ventured out into hallway, and then she relaxed against the pillow.

As she lay there staring up at the ceiling, she thought of how lucky she was to have a man like Nolan. Besides being great boyfriend material, she could already see that he was going to make a wonderful dad, and as her hand drifted over her stomach she closed her eyes and focused on positive thoughts, hoping with all her heart that things would turn out for the best.

* * * *

Julia awoke to the sound of rain pattering against the window, and the rich scent of salmon baking in the oven. Her stomach gave a rumble in response, and as she threw back the covers, she was assaulted by a cold draft of wind. After slipping into one of Nolan's large T-shirts, she walked over to the window and lowered it, then engaged the lock.

Glancing at the clock, she saw that she'd been sleeping for nearly an hour, and guessed that the meal Nolan was cooking had to be close to being finished. Her feet padded lightly against the polished wood floors, and as she entered the kitchen, she saw Nolan setting a stack of waffles on the kitchen table.

"Hey, honey. Have a good rest?" He bent down to place a kiss upon her lips.

"Yeah, I did. I didn't realize I was so tired." Lifting her arms above her head, she arched her back and stretched out her limbs.

Nolan grabbed an oven mitt from the counter and opened the stove, then slid out a pan of baked salmon. After placing it upon the table, he grabbed some plates, silverware and napkins. Retrieving a pitcher of milk from the fridge, he poured them each a glass and then offered one to her.

Scrunching up her nose she said, "Milk with fish?"

"It's coconut."

"I still don't want it."

"It has a really nice taste, though. It's fresh."

Taking a seat at the table she said, "No thanks."

As Nolan sat across from her, a frustrated little sigh fled from his lips. "There's that stubborn streak again."

"I'm just not in the mood for it right now."

"No problem. I'm not trying to force it on you."

Noting the look of annoyance on his face she said, "I'll have some later, okay?" Grabbing a spatula from the table, she scooped out a portion of fish from the pan.

Apart from the sound of their silverware clinking against the dishes, the couple ate in silence. She didn't know why she was feeling so irritated all of a sudden, but guessed that it had to be the pregnancy hormones kicking in. Confused by the unpredictability of her mood, she tried her best to just relax and enjoy the dinner.

Aside from the worries she'd about her impending role as a mother, she was also thinking about the cost of what it would take to raise a child. She also knew that the arrival of a baby would force her and Nolan into premature cohabitation, and it made her nervous just thinking about it.

She wasn't sure if or how things were going to work out between them, but she definitely hoped that their relationship would continue to be stable. The uncertainty of their future together, coupled with the pregnancy hormones was doing quite a job on emotionally, and she could feel the stress building up in her body. Taking a sip of water, she willed herself to calm down, but unfortunately it didn't seem to have much of an effect upon her mood.

Having finished their meals, Nolan got up and began to clear away their dishes. Grabbing the bottle of syrup and butter, Julia returned them to the fridge, and then began wiping the table down. Once the kitchen was cleaned Julia turned to exit the kitchen, but before she could, Nolan grabbed her by the hand and pulled her closer towards him.

"Are you mad at me?"

"No, why would I be?"

"I don't know. You're acting weird." Fixing her with a thoughtful expression he asked, "What's going on?"

"Nothing. I just have a lot on my mind."

"So talk to me. Don't just keep it inside."

"I don't really feel talking right now."

Understanding just how stubborn she could be, Nolan gave a small nod and simply said, "Okay, that's fine."

Although she really did feel like being left alone, she was also strangely irritated by his nonchalant response. She knew it was implausible for him to fully understand what she was going through internally, but it still made her upset that he couldn't sense what was happening.

Deep down inside she knew her behavior was illogical, but the hormonal changes in her body seemed driven upon filling her with undesirable emotions. As the melodious ringtone of her cell phone drifted through the air, she headed into the living room and retrieved it from the coffee table.

Glancing at the display screen, she saw it was an unlisted number. Normally she would have just ignored it but her curiosity managed to get the best of her, so she hit the call answer button.

"Hello?" Her voice was ripe with irritation.

"Hello Julia."

"Oh, hi." Curious as to the nature of her mother's call she asked, "So what's going on?"

"I just thought I would give you a ring and see how you were doing. Is everything okay?"

Furrowing her eyebrow, she thought of how uncharacteristic it was for her mother to call and simply inquire about her well being. "Yes, why?"

"No special reason. I just wanted to call and check on you, is that okay?"

"Yeah, I guess."

Abruptly switching subjects she said, "Sage tells me you have a boyfriend."

"Yes I do."

"So what's he like? Tell me about him."

"I'll tell you about him later. Now isn't a good time, okay Mother?"

Nolan's attention was piqued as Julia referenced him, and he took a glance in her direction.

"He's there, isn't he? I can tell by the tone of your voice."

Knowing what her mother's next question would be, she said, "Now isn't a good time. You can speak to him another day."

"What's wrong with right now?"

"He's busy."

"Doing what?"

"Cleaning the kitchen."

"I can wait. I'm not hanging up this phone until I speak him."

Feeling Nolan's eyes upon her, she lifted her gaze and saw him looking intently at her. She suddenly felt very foolish bickering on the phone with her mother, and realized that he already knew what was going on, so there was no use trying to keep them from speaking to one another. So with a great deal of reluctance, she walked toward the kitchen and placed the phone in his hand.

"It's my mom. She wants to talk to you."

Pressing the phone to his ear, Nolan spoke into the receiver. "Hello?"

Twisting a lock of her hair, Julia watched as he conversed with her mother. From what she could tell of his end of the chat, the bulk of their communication seemed to be fairly lighthearted and casual. She'd been expecting her mother to use this opportunity to fill his ears with all sorts of nonsense, but to Julia's relief, it seemed as if she was left entirely out of the conversation. Her feeling of relief, however, was quickly replaced by one of unease as she heard him utter a reply.

"We'd love to come for dinner. What day should we be there?"

As soon as he spoke the words, a deep sense of unease came over her, and she began to curse internally. She knew that their meeting would inevitably have had to happen, but she still couldn't believe that it was coming to fruition so soon.

Shaking her head in frustration, she raked her fingers through the curly strands of her hair. Having finally reached the end of the chat, Nolan offered a goodbye and then set the cell phone down.

"Your mother's invited us for dinner tomorrow evening."

Making no secret of her dissatisfaction she unhappily said, "Wonderful. That's just great."

"I still don't understand why you don't want me to meet her."

"Don't worry, you will."

Nolan leaned against the counter. "Come on, she can't be that bad, can she?"

"It's not just her, it's the rest of my family, as well. You remember what I went through with Sage, don't you?"

Recalling the incident Julia had with her step-sister Nolan said, "Yeah, I remember. What about your dad? Do you get along with him?"

"My dad isn't really a part of my life. He calls from time to time, but he's pretty much been a stranger to me ever since he and my mom divorced."

"Has your mom remarried?"

"Yeah, and I don't like him."

"Why not?"

"He's a weirdo. He's always leering at me and saying perverted things."

"Have you talked to your mom about this?"

"Yeah, numerous times. It doesn't seem to bother her though, because she always brushes it off."

"That's weird."

"Yeah it is. So now you see why I don't want you meeting them."

"Try not to stress about it, okay? Everything will turn out just fine." He pulled her into a hug and gently rubbed her back. "How about we watch a movie?"

"No thanks, I think I'll just go back to bed."

His voice laced with disappointment. "Okay. I'm going to stay up and watch a bit of TV, but I'll join you later."

As he pressed his lips to hers she barely responded, and he couldn't help wondering what he'd done to upset her. He momentarily thought of questioning her about it, but didn't wish to create anymore friction between them, so he decided to just let things be as they were. As he released her from his arms she headed for the bedroom, and Nolan was left to wonder how he could erase the distance which was growing between them.

* * * *

Julia awoke to the feel of Nolan's hands upon her flesh, sliding beneath her t-shirt and across the bareness of her skin. As his fingers met with the junction between her legs, he slid a finger across her heated center. Slipping the waistband of her panties down, he pulled them down her legs and off around her ankles. Her t-shirt was next to go, and after throwing it uselessly to the floor, he began to trail kisses along her torso.

Although it was in the middle of the night, a patch of moonlight which shone through the window allowed her to see what her lover was doing, and it illuminated him in its silvery glow.

Arching her back in response, she buried her hands into his hair and gently ran her fingers through his strands. She could feel the heat of his breath upon her skin as he took one of her nipples in his mouth, and as his tongue flicked against her stiff peak she released a throaty moan of contentment.

The only thing more pleasurable than the feel of his mouth against her skin was the sensation of that organ between his legs, burrowing its way deep into her heat. The thought of it alone caused a spark of desire to shoot through her body, and the spot between her legs quickly grew wet.

She loved the feel of his strong body upon her, and the way he gazed into her eyes silently communicated his deep feelings for her. Needing no further coaxing, she eagerly spread her legs and grabbed onto his muscular shoulders.