Tattoo of Love Ch. 13

She rubbed her hand against his arm. "Sweetie, it's okay. You don't have to apologize."

"I can't believe she gave you laxatives. She's so stupid." His jaw visibly tightened.

During the time they'd been dating, she'd never seen Nolan seriously upset before, but now that she was observing it, she realized that his tall stature and well-built muscular body appeared even more intimidating than it usually did.

"And it was all because I kicked her out." She shook her head at just how senseless it was.

"What she did was terrible, and if it isn't a crime, then it should be." His body had grown very tense.

"I agree, but as much as I hate her right now, there really isn't anything we can do that's going to bring the baby back."

"I guess you're right about that." His eyes lowered to rest on her sheet covered stomach, and he gave it a gentle rub. "I knew that having a baby wasn't going to be an easy road for us, but I was starting to look forward to it. Just the other night I was lying in bed, and for a brief moment, I began to imagine what it might look like." He offered a light chuckle and then said, "I figured it would have nice curly hair like ours, and that it'd take the best features from the both of us."

Her lips curled into a smile. "I imagined it a few times myself."

He drew in a deep breath and then blew it out. "I'm so sorry you had to go through all that pain." His Adam's apple bobbed up and down as he swallowed. "I was so scared and I felt so helpless just watching you suffer like that in front of me. I couldn't do anything to help you, and it made me feel so awful."

"I know, but it's all over now." Her soft voice tried to reassure him.

He gave a nod and then brought her hand up to his lips so that he could kiss the back of it. "You mean the world to me, baby. Always remember that."

Her lips curled into a smile and he leaned down to grace her forehead with a kiss. As the door to her room opened, Vivian's voice filled the air.

As her eyes fell upon the couple, she halted at the doorway. "Is it okay if I come in now?"

"Sure," said Julia.

The heels of her shoes clicked as she made her way towards the bed. "Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry." She pressed her lips to her daughter's cheek in a light kiss.

It'd been a long time since Julia had seen genuine concern in her mother's eyes, and even longer since she'd received anything more than an air kiss.

"I'm sure you had your reasons, but why didn't you tell me you were pregnant?"

Julia looked off to the side, and then back at her mother. "I just wasn't ready yet." Of course there was more to it than that, but now wasn't the time or the place to get into the complexities of their mother-daughter relationship.

Realizing there was nothing she could do but accept it, she offered a nod and simply said, "Okay." Feeling a draft from the air coming through the vents, she pulled the hem of the bed sheet up and brought it closer to Julia's chin. "Are you in any pain?"

"A little, but it's very mild."

"Well if it gets any worse, let me know and I'll tell the nurses." A look of distress fell across her face as she said, "Listen, I know that this was Sage's fault. The doctor told me all about it in the waiting room."

"I tried to tell you she did something to that ice cream."

"I know, and I should have believed you. I really am sorry for that, and I hope that you'll forgive me."

Julia could see the guilt in her mother's eyes. "Of course I do. I'm not even mad at you anymore. It's Sage I'm upset with."

"You have every right to be, and I want you to know that I'm here to offer my support, in any way you need."

"Thanks, I appreciate it."

Her mother gave her a pat on the hand. "I truly am sorry that you lost the baby. If there's anything at all I can do for you, please let me know."

"I will."

She glanced at her daughter's boyfriend and offered him a smile. "You're a good man, Nolan. Julia couldn't have picked a better person to be with.

"Thank you. That's kind of you to say."

"Well I guess I'll give you two your privacy." She leaned down to give Julia a parting kiss on the cheek. "Get well soon, Juju. I love you."

Her lips curled into a smile as her mother spoke her childhood nickname. Vivian turned on her heel and headed for the door, but before she could reach it, Sage made an appearance. The hostility from the three sets of eyes which stared her down made her visibly nervous, and she halted in place, not daring to move any closer to Julia's bed.

Focusing her attention on her step-sister, she posed a request. "Is it okay if I speak to you for a few minutes?"

"Go ahead." Julia's voice came out flat and full of disinterest.

Her eyes darted nervously to Nolan, and then to her step-mother. "Actually I was hoping that we could be alone."

"Why?" Nolan's deep voice was laced with suspicion, and his gaze was fiery.

"I just want to talk to her." Her eyes locked tensely with her step-sibling's boyfriend for a brief moment, but the heat of his stare was too intense to handle, so she swiftly returned her gaze to Julia's. "Please?"

"Whatever you have to say to me, you can say in front of mom and Nolan."

She slipped her hands into her jacket pockets and then began to speak. "I just wanted to say that I'm sorry. If I'd known you were pregnant, I never would have given you those laxatives."

"Even if I hadn't been pregnant, you still had no right. What did I ever do to deserve such treatment?"

Sage shrugged. "I don't know. You didn't really do anything. I guess I was still upset about the whole kicking me out of the apartment thing."

"It wasn't even that big of a deal. You had a place to stay with mom and Dave. It wasn't as if you were out on the street."

"I know, and I'm not trying to use it as an excuse." Her gaze lowered to look at the linoleum floor, and then she turned her attention back on her step-sister. "I feel really bad about this, and I want you to know I'll do whatever it takes to make things right again."

"There's nothing you can do, Sage. The baby is gone, and nothing is going to bring it back."

"I know that, but I..," her voice halted and as her eyes welled up with tears, she rubbed them away with her fingers. "I'm just so sorry that it turned out this way. I never wanted to hurt you, and it definitely wasn't my intention to make you have a miscarriage."

"It may not have been on purpose, but that's the way it turned out. You made a really stupid decision, and now thanks to you, my baby is gone."

A part of Julia felt like yelling and crying and releasing her rage, but the other part of her knew that it would do no good. It might temporarily make her feel better, but it wouldn't turn back the clock. She'd felt the strong urge to call Sage out of her name a few times, but had bitten her tongue instead.

Doing so would only increase the tenseness between them, and with all the drama she'd been through yesterday evening, she was in no mood to raise her stress level again. She was still mad as hell, and wasn't sure when she would be able to forgive her, but she wasn't going to excite herself and cause a scene.

Sage's face had grown moist with tears. "Please forgive me, Julia. I never meant to harm your baby. Please know that I'm genuinely sorry."

Feeling her own tears coming on, Julia squeezed her eyes shut and deeply inhaled, then slowly blew it out. Fearing that she was in pain, Nolan wrinkled his brow and placed his hand against her cheek, tenderly stroking it in his palm.

"Honey, what's wrong? Are you in pain?"

She opened her eyes and met his gaze. "I'm fine. I'm just feeling really emotional right now." A few tears slipped down her cheek.

Darting his eyes towards Sage, he said, "Why don't you just leave, already? You're just making her more stressed out by being here."

She took a few steps backward, and then paused. "Please forgive me, Julia. I won't feel right until you do."

"Maybe one day I will, but not right now. I'm just not that in that place yet. Now will you please go away?" Her eyes stung with tears and her throat had closed up, making it hard to swallow.

Nolan did his best to comfort Julia by gently stroking her hair, and the sweet things he spoke to her were communicated in a whispery voice, audible to only she and him. Wishing to give them alone time, Vivian jerked her thumb toward the door, gesturing for Sage to leave. Yet it seemed as if Sage was permanently planted there, because all she could do was helplessly watch as tears rolled down her step-sibling's face.

"I'm so sorry, Julia. I'll never forgive myself for this." Her voice cracked as she spoke, and she sniffed a few times.

She turned her head so that her cheek lay against the pillow, clearing Sage out of her line of sight. "I asked you to go, so why are you still here? I can't stand to hear or look at you." Her chest ached, and each moment that her step-sister remained, only reminded her of the grave situation that she'd caused.

Brushing the tears away from her face, Sage backed towards the door. "Okay, I'll leave you alone." Then she turned and made her exit, with Vivian following behind her.

As soon as she was gone, Nolan grabbed a few Kleenexes from out of the box and gently wiped the tears from her cheek. He heard her mumble something against the pillow, but he couldn't quite understand what she'd said.

"What's that sweetie?"

Lifting her cheek from the pillow, she repeated the words she'd spoken. "Please hold me. I need to feel your body against mine."

Nolan sat on the bed next to her pillow and pulled her up against him, enveloping her with the warmth of his body. It felt good to be held in his arms, and his masculine presence helped to soothe her feelings of sadness. Her body visibly relaxed against his, and she lay her cheek against his chest, closing her eyes as she gratefully lost herself in his soothing caresses.