Teaching Ch. 04bytarkatony©
Linda Gelhert was only into her third hour in Susan Johnson’s house when her older sister decided she would never survive the ten days Linda was planning to stay. It wasn’t that Linda was under foot or bothersome, she wasn’t, quite the contrary, she was precisely her vocation, the ever neat, ever organized, ever quiet, ever dull librarian she had always been. The two sisters had nothing in common, now or ever, but for common parents — and Susan had never been entirely convinced of that. Linda was intellectually, physically and emotionally Susan’s opposite. But the biggest difference between the two was physical. Where Susan was tall, curvaceous and blond, Linda was shorter, very thin and dark, so short, thin and dark that Susan often thought of her sister as a shadow, a say nothing, do nothing, always following shadow. More than anything, Linda Gilhert was irritating, not for being who she was, but because she was nothing, empty, uninteresting and her constant sighs of faux anguish were just the worst of a continuum of irritating behaviour. Beyond these superficial observations it was hard to be more specific, and there was no reason to want to be. Linda Gelhert was a person to be endured and forgotten and Susan knew it when she agreed to let her sister stay with her, for ten days!
Cara was a godsend. Whenever she could, she took her Aunt Linda to the mall, the book stores, for walks and she even took her for a paddle round the pond in the park. But it wasn’t enough. Susan still felt harried and harassed by her younger sister, the shadow, who seemed a spectral figure never far from her side.
Then the subject came up. It was at dinner on the fourth night and it was Cara, natch, who asked the question, “Aunt Linda, why haven’t you ever married?”
The question seemed to surprise Linda so much that it appeared that she had never given the matter a moment’s thought. “Well, I don’t know,” she said, unsure of herself, “perhaps because I’ve never met the right person.”
Despite her mother’s scowl, Cara persisted, “Do you date much?”
“No, almost never,” she said quickly, matter of factly, then she seemed to grow deeper in thought, “in fact, I can’t remember the last date I had. Must have been years ago.” If it bothered her, it sure didn’t show.
“Hard on the sex life,” Cara couldn’t resist the comment. She didn’t look at her mother, but she could feel her angry glower.
“No, it’s all right, Sue, she’s right, it is hard on the sex life,” she seemed almost happy with the observation and she was because it provided the chance to bring up something that was on her mind, something not yet addressed, so she added, “which brings me to something I wanted to ask you about.” Linda took a long drink from her full wine glass, then motioned to Cara for more. “It reminds me of what some guy used to say on one of those comedy programs, ‘you look marvelous!’ Remember it?” Linda took another drink, “Well, Susan, ‘you look marvelous.’ You have changed so much since the last time I saw you, new hair do, new clothes, you’re slimmer, sexier — it can only mean you have a man.”
Susan was about to say something when Cara cut in. “Tell her, mum, tell her about the man you’ve gone out with. He’s a sexologist, Aunt Linda. He took mum in hand, no pun intended, and made her into a new person.” Cara was only teasing, of course, anxious to keep the conversation on an interesting subject, not the ‘what-is-Helen-doing’ type of question that had dominated dinner conversations up to now. Later she wondered why she started the lie, but she would never know, it just came out. “With her new knowledge, she’s helped others, too.”
“Well, I don’t know if you …” But Susan was cut off again.
“Hey, Aunt Linda, I just had an idea, maybe mum could help you! Mum’s good. If you want help, like in getting dates, I’ll bet she can give it to you.”
“Cara, I don’t think I can help anyone …”
Cara waved at her mother as if dismissing not only her comment, but also her presence, “Oh, sure you can. You were helped by that sexologist and I know you have helped others, so the very least you could do is to help your own sister,” then Cara paused for deliberate affect, “That is, if she wants help.”
Susan fell silent, giving the smiling Cara as angry a look as she knew how.
And that was it, until the next evening, an evening after Cara and her Aunt Linda had spent most of the day together.
“Tell her, Aunt Linda.”
Linda was on her second glass of wine but still looked unsure of herself. She turned to Susan, “I want your help.”
Susan’s eyes narrow as she looked at her daughter who seemed to be enjoying herself far too much. “What kind of help?” Susan asked the question cautiously, directed the words more at Cara then at her sister.
But Linda answered, “Sex help. Cara’s right, it’s about time I tried to figure out what the whole sex thing is about. So far, I’ve been a miserable failure. It’s a complete mystery to me, always has been, right from when I was a child.” Then she looked intently at her sister, “If you can help me, Sues, well, God knows I need it.”
Cara’s smile was as wide as Susan had ever seen, “She can help you, Aunt Linda, I know she can.” There was a deliberate child-like innocence to her words, and she smiled at their affect.
“Cara, please.” She could see Cara’s hand in all of this, she could see it, but she couldn’t see how she could stop it.
Cara pressed her advantage, she quickly affected a petulance, knowing her mother had a hard time dealing with it, “Well, you can, you can help Aunt Linda, you can help her like you helped Mrs. Cotteral.”
“Who?” Susan had no idea who her daughter was talking about.
“Mrs. Cotteral, remember?” Then Cara turned to her Aunt and said, “Let me tell you about what mum did for Mrs. Cotteral, it was amazing.” Then, as Susan tried to stop her daughter, then finally fled the room in frustration, Cara recounted precisely how her mother had helped Mrs. Cotteral over-come her debilitating sexual inhibitions — just a few days before.
Aunt Linda was enthralled.
It was the next morning, they were in the hallway after Cara had just left for collage when Linda brought up the subject again. “I’m interested, Susan, I really am interested in what you can do for me. When it comes to sex, I’m a loser, no it’s worse than that, I’m not even in the game, not even in the stands and I didn’t think you were either, I didn’t think any of us were. I thought we all were sexually dead. Am I wrong?”
Susan could see the genuine pain on her sister’s face and took pity on her, “I have learned a little, nothing ah … academic, but maybe it can help, it certainly helped me.”
“Then let’s start. What do I do?”
Susan could see no way out. She knew her sister needed help, that couldn’t be more obvious, she knew her entire family needed help, and if she could help her sister then she had to try, so she asked, “How badly do you want to change?”
“Bad, Sues, bad.” She left no doubt.
Susan nodded as if already knowing the answer, then said, “Look, Linda, I only know one way to do this. It’s weird and it can get a little messy, but if you really want my help I can try. But look,” and she took her sister by the shoulders and looked intently into her eyes as if to stress the seriousness of the situation, “I’m doing this for you and I don’t want you thinking badly of me for trying.”
Linda cautiously entered her sister’s arms, “I’ll never think badly of you, Sues, I need you, I need your help. I don’t know the first thing about sex, I’ll do everything you say.”
“Well, everything can be pretty weird, are you absolutely sure?”
Linda let go of her sister and took three steps back, “Look at me Susan. You can see it; I’ve seen the way you look at me. I’m dead. I know it. If sex can wake me up, then I’ll try it, God knows I’ll try anything.”
Susan could see tears well in her sister’s eyes so she quickly closed the space between them and took her in her arms and when she did Linda began to sob and shake and grip her sister with such desperation that Susan had no doubt that she had to do whatever she could to help her sister and whatever she could do was precisely what her daughter had done for her just a few nights before. “Come with me.”
They stood in front of the full length mirror in her bedroom. “Take off your clothes?”
“Take off your clothes.” Susan repeated the words more insistently, trying to show more confidence than she felt. Why had this been so easy for her daughter? “The idea is to look at yourself in the mirror, to find where the beauty is in you. That will give you strength to go on. So take off your clothes.”
Linda gave her sister an uncertain look then did as she was told and just as Cara had done to her, Susan stopped her sister at her underwear. She debated the next move, but as she looked at the figure in the mirror, the lonely, shy, slightly emaciated figure of her sister, she decided her commitment to her sister had to be total, she had to do everything she could, everything her daughter had taught her or not to bother at all. So she did as her daughter had done, she took off her clothes.
When they stood together, side by side, Susan had a sudden flash of regret. She saw in herself what she had discovered just a few days before, a body, blemished and imperfect, but a body charged with the potential for passion. The figure standing beside her offered no such promise. The figure was rigid, and nervous and timid and reluctant and entirely devoid of even the slimmest prospect of sexuality.
“You’re pretty, Susan, you’ve always been the prettiest of us.”
Susan felt a jolt of sympathy, which she instantly converted to determination to deceive. “Maybe, Lins, but you’ve always been the sexiest.” She got behind her sister and fixed her head in a resolutely proud position, then she gently pulled her sister’s shoulders back and gently cupped her breasts lifting them up. “See, now that’s a sexy woman.” She said the words without conviction, but pregnant with hope.
Linda’s eyes were searching her body, trying to discover anything that would give her that hope, “I don’t see it, Sues, I see nothing there but a skinny, sexless, twig.”
Hard to argue, thought Susan, but she laughed as if her sister had been joking. Then she asked the stage 4 question, “Do you masturbate?”
“No.” There wasn’t even a blush, a reluctance, just the two letter fact.
“Have you ever?”
When the boney shoulders shrugged, Susan noticed that the muscular breasts in the worn bra hardly moved. “A little but never very successfully. Do you?”
Susan had decided at the very beginning to be entirely honest … in all things but Cara’s place in the script. “I didn’t used to, but I do now and I want to teach you how,” then she added, after her own strange and foreign words stopped ringing in her ears, “if you want me to.”
Linda’s pretty but plane face squinted in confusion, “But what will masturbation do for me? That isn’t really sex, is it? It’s just self-pleasuring.”
Susan turned and gave her sister a little hug, “Believe me, Lindie, if you get into it, it will make you feel entirely different about yourself and with you, just as it was with me, that’s something we want to strive for.”
“Masturbation works for you?”
Susan fought to remember her daughter’s words, “Masturbation helps you understand yourself,” and then she winged it, “Masturbation helped me to find the beauty in my soul. It worked for me, and it will help you to find the beauty and passion within you, too,” then she added, just to give her sister a glimmer of hope, “I guarantee it.”
Linda didn’t appear convinced but she shrugged her boney shoulders, “OK,” she said. OK, the acceptance of a child.
Susan gave her sister a robe and put one on herself and they went down stairs. “You get on the couch, make yourself comfortable and I’ll put this video on. When the spirit moves, we’ll try to find the tiger in you.”
And that’s how it began. Susan could see her sister out of the corner of her eye and she could see a look of almost total indifference for the first 15 minutes of the film and then the two girls strolled onto the screen, hand in hand, and her sister changed, she sat up, her eyes opened wider to let in 35 years of curiosity.
Susan knew it was a tease when she paused the film, “Have you seen many porn films?”
Here sister continued staring at the two figures barely discernable on the paused screen, “None, no, never.”
“Well, they can have quite an effect, so let me know if and when you want to do something.”
Her sister nodded, not really hearing here, her eyes still on the figures on the screen, figures that were moving now, stripping off each others clothes, the one more impatient than the other.
“Stop!” The demand came five minutes into the section. Linda stared at Susan, stared through eyes that were scared and worried and fascinated. “If I like what’s going on, does that make me a lesbian?” Her eyes returned to the screen, but the fascination and fright were still there.
“No, Lindie, it doesn’t.” The words came out more calmly than she expected. “I like to watch women and I’m not a lesbian.”
When Linda spoke her shoulders seemed to sink, she seemed to get smaller, more child-like. “I think I may be, I’ve always thought I may be a lesbian.”
Susan thought so too. “Would it bother you if you found out that you are?”
“I don’t know, Sues, I honestly don’t know.”
Susan thought her sister’s words sounded haunted so she put on a brave face and said with more enthusiasm then she felt, “Well, do you want to find out?” Susan got to her feet and sat down on the couch beside her sister. She held her, stroked her hair, kissed her on the cheek. Then, as she remembered her daughter had done to her, she pushed her sister gently back onto the couch. “I think you have a really attractive body, Lins, and I’d like to touch it. Is that OK?”
Linda didn’t say anything. She just nodded and closed her eyes.
Susan moved closer and pulled Linda’s robe open, “I’m going to touch you. Let me know if it gets too weird, OK.”
Linda’s nod was almost imperceptible and she didn’t appear to be breathing.
When Susan touched her sister gently on the stomach, Linda flinched and brought her arms up, as if to protect her chest. Susan took her arms and brought them down to her sides again, then moved her fingers back on to Linda’s stomach. This time Linda didn’t move, so Susan, encouraged, let her fingers wander around Linda’s belly button then up to beneath her breasts. She was breathing heavily now, her plain worn bra seemed almost to be shuddering and Susan noticed that when Linda shifted on the couch her legs opened just a little bit wider. “You have beautiful skin, Lindie, you have always had beautiful skin. Does this feel good?”
Linda’s eyes fluttered open and it took her a moment to focus. She smiled and then closed her eyes again, “Yes.”
“Good,” Susan said getting to her feet, “Then let’s go upstairs, we can finish the video later.” She couldn’t be sure but she thought she saw disappointment in her sister’s eyes.
When they entered Susan’s room, Susan went directly to her chest of drawers and handed her sister a pair of bright red, high cut panties. “Put these on, they’re required therapy.”
Linda turned and slipped out of her white cotton briefs and put on the panties her sister had given her. When she stood up Susan helped her out of the robe and moved her to in front of the mirror. “Feel any different?”
Linda’s eyes were fixed on the red, high cut panties, as if they were a foreign source of colour on the otherwise, white and pasty body. “Maybe a little, maybe a little sexier.”
Susan lightly kissed her sister on the cheek then undid the clasp of her sister’s padded bra and when she let the bra drop to the floor she gasped in surprise, in fascination. Linda’s nipples stuck out an entire inch! Susan caught herself, she was about to say the first thing that jumped into her head, ‘they look like antlers,’ but she didn’t, instead, she just stared in fascination.
Linda saw her sister’s look and moved to cover herself but Susan held her arms to her side then brought her own hands up to cup her sister’s breasts, using her thumbs to playfully flick at the amazing, erect nipples. “They’re beautiful, Lindie, they’re really, really beautiful,” and they’re were, and they were erotic, too, she thought, really, really erotic.
“They’re too big.”
“They’re beautiful, Lindie,” and then she turned her sister around and bent down and kissed one of the nipples, then as she took the nipple into her mouth her sister pulled her head into her chest and wouldn’t let her go. “It’s OK, Lindie, it’s OK,” then she broke free and guided her sister to her bed.
Susan sat on the bed first, then patted a place beside her. “Come on, sit down,” and when she did, Susan asked, “Is it too weird for you yet?”
“God, I don’t know Susan, I don’t know,” and Linda turned and awkwardly hugged her sister and squeezed her with all of her might.
“It’s OK, Lindie, what we’re trying to do here, like the song said, is to make you feel like a sexual woman. The theory is, once you can tap your own sexuality you can undergo your own sexual journey of discover.”
There was no humour in Linda’s laugh, “It’s a journey I’ve never been on before.”
“I know,” Susan said, stroking her sister’s hair, “it was a foreign trip for me, too, but look on the bright side, it will be all the more exciting,” then Susan gently pushed her sister away. “Let’s begin,” and she eased her sister down onto the bed and, kneeling above her, she put her lips softly on her sister’s belly. They stayed like that for a minute, not moving, then Susan said, “I’m going to kiss you and touch you, Lindie, is that Ok?”
Susan could feel her sisters hands on her head and she could feel her pulling her upwards so she went as directed until her sister had her head beside hers and was hugging her desperately.
“Are you scared, Linds?”
“Oh God, Sues, I’m terrified.”
Susan gave her sister a peck on the forehead and for the first time since she could remember she felt real love for a sister she had really never known. “Do you want me to stop?” She wanted her to grow, to learn about herself, to discover what she had discovered in herself, so she wanted Lins to say no, she wanted Lins to encourage her to keep going, she wanted her to say kiss me, lick me, touch me, but she didn’t.
“God, Sues, I think I’d be terrified if you did and just as disappointed if you didn’t.”
“Then just relax.” Susan kissed her sister lightly on the cheek then let her fingers dance over her sister’s flat, faintly muscled belly, then up onto her breast, massaging it, squeezing it, pulling at its fabulous nipple. When Linda moaned, Susan bent over and gave her sister a kiss on the lips. Linda’s eyes sprang opened in panic but Susan was ready for it and brought her hand up and stroked her sister’s face, all the time continuing to peck away at her bottom lip, then Sue sat up, looked at her sister in the eyes and with their eyes locked together she slowly bent down and nibbled again at her sister’s bottom lip, biting all along it, then licking it and sucking on it until a noise emanated from deep within her sister’s body. Then Susan brought her hand back to her sister’s breast and when Lindie stiffened Susan kissed her more insistently, pushing her tongue into her sister’s mouth, which Lindie first resisted, but only briefly, then she opened her mouth and allowed her sister to lick her lips, lick her teeth and suck on her tongue.
“Oh, God Sues,” Linda said, almost gurgling, but she didn’t move away.
“Kiss me back, Lindie, let me feel you kiss me back.”
Linda shifted, moving up on her elbow and looked down at her sister. Susan thought she was going to chicken out but Linda moved around to lie on Susan with her legs straddling her sister’s leg and she brought her lips down and they hovered over her sister’s lips while she placed her hand on Susan’s breast, rubbing it, squeezing it. The moan started deep within her and it was long and loud as Lindie clamped her mouth on Susan’s lips with such passion and such ferocity that Susan was, at first, alarmed but she didn’t push her away, instead she held her tight and opened her mouth, opened her mouth to let her sister suck and bite and slobber and moan and she felt passion from her sister, her skinny, shy and solemn sister as she bucked her pussy furiously against her older sister’s leg, then, at the crescendo of piercing scream, she collapsed, limp and lifeless, except for the thumping in her chest.