Tears of the Fallen Ch. 20

Here's another chapter. Hope you enjoy!

*****

Chapter Twenty

Reasa stared into the open fridge, frustration threatening to spark her temper. She was tired and cranky from the long hours spent in the injured vampires' minds, and to top everything off, her stomach was making the most ridiculous of sounds.

"Hungry much?"

The unexpected male voice startled her in the darkened kitchen, and she shrieked and spun around, the light from the refrigerator revealing Karn, the second in command at the Praetorian Compound.

"Didn't mean to scare you," the blond vampire continued, reaching inside to grab a quart of milk. "Do you still have enhanced sight?" He gestured to the lack of light in the kitchen. "Only with your hearing now muted I would have thought your eyesight would be too.

"It is," she answered looking away from his all-seeing eyes. "I didn't want to disturb anyone by turning on a light."

He watched her for a second and then crossed the room and turned on the light. "We can't be having you bumping into things and doing yourself an injury. We don't want Liam to put everyone back into a coma again, do we?"

She hadn't really thought about it, but then, she tried her hardest to concentrate on the task at hand and not think about the redheaded Vârcolac who was starting to be able to read her every thought and emotion the more time they spent inside each other's heads.

"Why don't you have a seat at the table?" Karn commented when she didn't speak. "I suggest you snack on something light like cereal as it's the middle of the night. It should blunt your hunger enough to get back to sleep but not be too heavy to keep you awake. I'll have a word with Mac in the morning to ensure both you and Liam get enough rest and food breaks. Both of you look exhausted all the time."

She watched him pour out some cereal into a bowl and add some milk. Then he placed it in front of her with a spoon and sat down at the table beside her. She couldn't fathom out why he was being so nice to her. He had nothing to gain from it.

When she just sat there looking at him he smiled and waved a hand at the plate. "It won't eat itself, girlie."

She recognised that tone. It was the one she heard him use regularly around the others; it conveyed both admonishment and humour. She had particularly noticed it became especially noticeable around Elina. He appeared to delight in pushing at Liam's cousin to try to get a reaction. Most of the time the other woman treated him with haughty distain, but every so often there would be a flash of irritation in her eyes that only served to make the blond vampire grin from ear to ear. She could tell it was the reaction he was hoping for. It was also apparent that Elina was clueless to the fact that she was rising to his bait.

Swirling her spoon around the bowl a couple of times, Reasa finally gave into her hunger pangs and took a spoonful of cereal. As she ate she watched Karn, and his gaze never left her face. "Why are you being so nice to me? Everyone else pretty much pretends I'm not here, with the exception of Liam, Elina, Mac, Lily and Brandon."

He appeared to consider her question before he gave her a small smile. "You frighten the others."

Reasa spluttered over her next spoonful of cereal, almost choking as it went down the wrong way. "I frighten them?!" She wiped at her mouth with the napkin Karn hastily produced. "How can I possibly frighten them? I'm human. It's not as if I can do them any harm."

"You forget that a handful of weeks ago youwere them, Reasa. That is what frightens them. The fact that there is a possibility that they could have their immortality removed and become as human as you now are. I didn't say there was any merit to the way they feel, just that they do feel that way."

When he put it like that she could see why the other vampires could fear her. She was an object lesson to all of them. If they screwed up there was a chance they could become just like her. It must be a very sobering thought for all of them. "So, because they pretend I don't exist this makes you want to be friendly towards me?"

Karn chuckled though he kept his voice low so as not to disturb the sleeping house. "No, girlie, I want to be friendly towards you because I see how exhausted you are and yet every morning at dawn you get up and spend hours at a time inside fractured minds to help those lost souls find a way home. I see your skin tear from whatever it is that is happening mentally to you and yet you keep going in. Oh, I know Elina heals you as it happens but that doesn't mean you don't feel the pain. I didn't know you as a vampire, Reasa, but what I see of you as a human woman is pretty awe-inspiring."

Staring into his eyes she was stunned to see that he actually meant every word he said. He truly did like her for who she was now and it had nothing to do with who she had once been. For some reason ,that made her feel even more ashamed of her past than anything had before. "You place your faith in the wrong person, Karn," she said bitterly. "This woman before you is not the woman I used to be. I have done countless terrible things in my past, things that would shock you."

To her chagrin he merely chuckled again, shaking his head in amusement. "Oh Thereasa, every single vampire in this compound can say the exact same thing, especially the older ones. We are all a product of our time, and where we come from. It's only been the last century or so that we have started coming even close to being civilised. I dare say I could tell you tales that would make your hair curl."

"I know that but..."

"No buts, girlie. You know I speak the truth." Karn appeared to be thinking of something before he spoke again. He let out a low sigh and rested his elbows on the table.

"When Mac found me over a thousand years ago I was nothing more than a wild animal. I had been on my own for so long I was almost feral. I had taken to hiding up in the Carpathian Mountains in Romania, only coming down when the need to feed drove me out in agony. I tried to sustain myself on animal blood so I could stop myself killing humans but it was to no avail."

His expression drifted off as he spoke, as if he were lost within a memory that was replaying itself. "Mac crossed my path on one of my trips down to the villages. I was almost insane with hunger at the time, so much so, that when I scented him in the area I was ready to fight to the death to protect my hunting ground. He knocked me on my ass so hard I swear I was seeing stars. Then I realised that I really was as I lay on my back looking into the night sky with Mac's talons around my neck."

"What happened then?" Reasa couldn't stop herself from asking when he stopped talking and didn't appear as if he would continue.

"He could have killed me. I was too weak from hunger to defend myself but instead I heard him talking softly to someone else and then I could taste the sweet hot blood of a human dripping into my open mouth. I tried to fight him to get to the blood but he was too strong for me. In the end I just had to lay there and accept the small hand-outs he gave to me. By the time I was sated enough, he let me up and I was astounded to see four villagers sitting beside the trees, all still alive."

The expression in Karn's eyes sent a chill down Reasa's spine when he looked at her. There was so much self-loathing on his face it was painful to witness. "You see, until that very moment I had always killed to satisfy my hunger. I didn't know there was any other way. In one night Mac taught me how to feed without the need for unnecessary loss of life. He taught me to feed often and in small amounts to ensure I would never lose control and reach that feral state again."

"He saved you," she whispered and he nodded his head. "This is why you follow him now, because he believed in you and gave you a future."

"Yes he did and I will follow wherever he chooses to lead me. However, that isn't the point to this story, Reasa. The point is we have all done unspeakable things in the past that we are ashamed to admit to. It's what we donow that matters though. We can be enslaved by our pasts or we can learn from our mistakes and work to make not only ourselves, but those around us into better people. I don't care what the old Thereasa did. I can only look to the woman I know now and am impressed by her strength of will and unfailing dedication to helping those lost souls upstairs."

Reasa looked down at her bowl, the now soggy cereal appearing to swim before her eyes. A lone tear splashed into the milk, followed by a second and then another. Karn liked her. He was the first person that wasn't protecting her for Liam's sake or grateful for being brought out of a coma. He actually saw her as a person and found something to like about her.

Scrubbing at her face and fighting down the strong emotions that threatened to overwhelm her, she stood up keeping her gaze averted from the blond vampire. "Thank you."

"You have a hard road to walk, Thereasa. Yes, there will be those who may only ever see the old Reasa, but there are countless others who will see the new one. You don't have to walk that road alone. You have friends who are willing to give you a chance and share your burden with you. All you have to do is let them in."

Karn placed a hand underneath her chin to tilt her head up to meet her eyes. "I am one of those friends. If anyone gives you a hard time here, you let me know and I will have words with them. And if you ever need to talk...about anything...you can come to me, okay?"

"Okay," she whispered, giving him a watery smile. She couldn't believe it but she actually had a friend. For the first time in a long time there was something good in her life and she was afraid she would do something to ruin it as she had everything else. Something told her Karn didn't offer his friendship lightly. She prayed that she didn't do anything to let him down.

"Good, now off to bed with you, girlie, before Liam comes looking for you and decides to kick my ass for having you up at stupid o'clock in the morning."

With a gentle prod he sent her heading back upstairs and she went feeling dazed by what had just happened.

"Reasa?"

Liam's sleepy voice muttered in the darkness as she closed the bedroom door behind her. She stumbled in the dark making her way towards the bed and let out a small gasp when strong arms circled her body and she was lifted onto the bed.

"Where were you?" There was nothing but curiosity in his voice and for the first time she stopped to really listen to what Liam wasn't saying in so many words. There was no concern that she had run off. There was no accusation that she might have been doing something underhand. He completely trusted in her and that fact was only now starting to sink in.

"I was hungry. Karn sat with me while I ate some cereal. He was keeping me company."

"You should have woken me. I would have made you something to eat." Again there was no judgement in his tone, only a desire to look after her.

"Freya is right. I do need to learn how to cook. Perhaps this is something we can do when we have finished with our task here? That's if you can cook."

Liam went so still that for a moment she wondered if she had done something wrong, then he lay down, pulling her into his embrace as he had done every night since they had been at the Praetorian Compound. "I would like that very much, Reasa," he said quietly, his voice thick with emotion.

It was so easy to relax into his embrace, to feel his breath against her neck as she closed her eyes to go back to sleep. She had become accustomed to his gentle touch, to the feel of his strength surrounding her. He didn't press for anything else. He was content to have her close. She had to concede that she had never felt more protected than she did by his side. "I would too, Liam," she answered with a sleepy yawn, snuggling down and allowing sleep to claim her.

*****

"They need a break, Mac. They've been at this constantly for days now. They need to work their physical muscles as well as their mental ones. I found Reasa exhausted in the kitchen last night so hungry it was a wonder her stomach rumbling didn't wake up the entire house. She was too tired to prepare herself anything but her body was demanding it. This isn't a request...I'm telling you they need a day off."

Mackenzie stared hard at Karn as he mulled over his words. The dream walkers had been spending days at a time inside the wounded vampires mind, slowly bringing them back to the here and now. So far, four of them were awake, Brandon included. It was hard not to push for the final two to come back. There was a sense of urgency, like they were running out of time. The longer the vampires were in their coma-like state the harder it appeared to be to bring them back.

"We could lose the last two, Karn. You know that."

"We could lose Liam and Reasa, Mac. Those men lying up there pledged their lives to keeping the Vârcolac safe. If they had a choice in the matter they would tell you to put Liam first, andyou know that."

When Karn was so vociferous about something he wasn't about to back down on it. He clearly was concerned for Liam and Reasa's health. Mac sighed and rubbed a hand over his face, finally nodding his agreement. "Fine...but you tell Liam. You know he's not going to like it."

A smile crossed his number two's face and it was all Mac could do not to burst out laughing. There was a saying that an expression said a thousand words, and there was no mistaking the expression on Karn's face. If Liam kicked up a fuss about this decision, he would be butting heads with one of the most intractable men Mac had ever come across.

"Liam will just need to do as he's told," Karn said, turning on his heel to head out of the study.

Lily uncurled herself from the large armchair she was sitting in and crossed the room to slide into her mate's open arms. "I might like to be a fly on the wall for that conversation."

Mac chuckled and kissed the top of her head, inhaling in her wonderful scent. "You'll forgive me if I prefer that you stay away from that one. Anyway, I wanted your help with something else."

She glanced up at him, curiosity shining in the depth of her eyes. "Oh?"

Mackenzie's lips tightened in a disapproving line. "Kothari."

"Ohhhhh." Lily sighed and rested her head back against his chest. "What has he been up to now?"

"He's deliberately freaking out some of the Praetorians. He keeps telling them things they have done or said in the past. How the hell he knows these things is beyond me, but it's starting to make some of my people go out of their way to avoid him. He's deliberately taunting them, Lily, and if he doesn't stop it's going to cause problems."

"That doesn't sound like our Kothi," she laughed, but there was a weary sigh contained in the words. "Have you spoken to Kal about it? He can usually get through to Kothi when he's being particularly difficult."

Mac sighed too, brushing his cheek against her hair to soothe some of his growing irritation. "Kal's out with the wolves most of the time. He appears to be fixated on keeping the compound safe after Reasa's attack."

That made sense when it came to her brother. He always felt so responsible for everything, even when it was something outwith his control. Lily fought down another sigh and then a thought popped into her head that had her pulling out of his arms.

"I know what we can do to solve both Liam's and Kothi's problems. Come on." Grabbing his hand, she pulled her mate from the study, heading towards the kitchen where there was the sound of a disagreement taking place.

"Kothi, be quiet. This has nothing to do with you," she announced as they entered to see a red-faced Liam squaring up to Karn who appeared just as irritated. "Liam, calm down and sit down." It was so unlike her to be that bossy that both her fellow Vârcolac closed their mouths, and Liam actually sat down.

The room was full of Praetorians who had come to watch Karn lay down the law. It was always gratifying to see him lay into someone other than themselves. Reasa was standing quietly to one side, resting her back against one of the countertops.

Lily let her gaze travel over the vampires present and then she smiled. "Guys, just so you know, Kothari isn't able to read minds. He spotted the Praetorians protecting us long before I ever did. He has been shadowing you since he was a child, listening to everything you've ever said and done. None of the Vârcolac can read minds no matter what they try to have you believe. You will stop teasing them, Kothi, right now."

"Spoilsport," Kothi muttered under his breath as he saw his targets looking at him with less than pleased expressions. He had been enjoying playing with them, fascinated by the increasing level of panic that had been starting to escalate in some of the vampires' eyes. Now Lily had spoilt everything and he would have to find some other way to entertain himself.

"And as for you..." Lily flowed so quickly towards Liam that it took a moment for anyone to react. By the time they did, the large male was lying flat on his back, a dazed expression in his eyes. "You're so slow these days even a girl can put you on your ass. Mental muscle is great, Liam, but it's pointless if you forget to take care of your physical muscle."

"That was just what I was saying," Karn growled, coming to stand beside her. "This dream walking stuff is cannibalising your bodies, Liam. It appears to need a large amount of fuel and what you and Reasa are eating isn't enough for the amount of time you're in other peoples' heads."

Liam's stunned gaze swung towards his mate, shock rippling through him as he noticed for the first time just how exhausted she was. They had slept later than usual today. She should have looked more rested. "I didn't realise..."

"No, because you're too pig-headed trying to save the world to the detriment of yourself and Reasa," Lily berated, her hands on her hips. "If Mac and Karn say no more dream walking today you will damned well listen to them, Liam Eriksson, or I'm phoning your mother and you can explain to her why you're trying to kill yourself. Am I completely clear on both matters?"

Silence filled the kitchen as her gaze swept from Kothari to Liam and back again. Finally the dark-haired Vârcolac smiled one of his rare smiles, amusement lacing his tone when he nodded his head in her direction. "Yes, Mother."

"Yes, Lily," Liam said, his gaze still fixated on his mate, contrition in every word.

"That's settled then," she smiled, turning her exultant gaze up to her mate who was wearing a smile that contained all of the pride he felt for her.

"You're going to make a wonderful mom," he laughed, gathering her close for a hug.

"If our children turn out anywhere near as difficult as these two, you can sort them out," she teased back.

"Okay, sparring time everyone," Karn announced heading to the backdoor. "We'll start with you two troublemakers. Front and centre!"

"Have you ever seen the Vârcolac spar?" Brandon asked, slipping into step with Reasa as she followed everyone outside.

She turned her head enough to look at the vampire, taking a careful catalogue of his features. He was handsome as vampires were wont to be, but she wasn't looking for that. Her keen gaze took in the continuing signs of recovery. In a few days' time no one would ever know that he had once been so lost, there had been little hope of him ever waking up.

Following on from her conversation with Karn, she could now detect the vampire's open offer of friendship. She hadn't noticed it before because she had put his attentive behaviour down to gratitude. Now it appeared Brandon genuinely liked her and wanted to spend time in her company. His relaxed demeanour and incorrigible personality was endearing, and she found herself more receptive to the idea of being friends with him that she would have expected.