Tell Me Why

"I had it to do, Jen. You knew that. It was why you didn't want to tell me his name. I wish you had lied to me and said it was George Couse, though," I grinned, or at least I tried.

"Mike, he's seventy years old if he's a day. I would have been guilty of murder if you killed him," Jen chuckled through her tears. "He probably would have died in our bed."

"Well, he would have checked out happy," I replied. "Could I sleep in our room tonight?" I asked. "I don't think I want to be alone any longer."

"Mike!" Jen wailed and the tears started again. 'I don't either!"

That was the start of the healing, odd as it sounds. I heard later that Wes claimed to his bosses that he fell down a hole at the construction site and smacked his face into a backhoe on the way down. Apparently, he didn't want to try to explain to his wife why I had been so enraged at him; so he kept to his story. His face was swollen for a few weeks, too. I actually resembled a raccoon. I went from purple, to a blue, to a yellow and finally three weeks later, I looked normal.

Jen was great and nursed me for the first few days. I went back to work on Wednesday and took a lot of ribbing. I didn't mind. Jen started a new job the following week and she actually liked it better than the one she quit. It was less pay, but the chance for advancement was better. If I knew Jen, she would climb up that ladder.

We were sleeping together, but we weren't having sex. I just couldn't get over my insecurities about Jen's feelings toward me. I had lingering doubts about her love for me and about my ability to be the man she needed and wanted. Jen didn't press me and seemed willing to wait. She was finally beginning to realize how deeply I had been hurt, and the trouble I was having coming to grips with her feelings toward me, and my faith in myself.

It was almost two months later that we were invited to another party. It was a Saturday pool party at a neighbor's. I had to go in to work for a few hours, so I told Jen I would meet her there.

"No way, Jose!" declared Jen. "I will never go to a party without you, Mike. I learned my lesson, believe me."

"I do believe you, Jen. We both need to get past that incident and live like we are two people that know and trust each other," I replied. "If you haven't learned from your mistake, then I should get rid of you. If I can't learn to trust you, then we really have no marriage to lose. I'll only be a couple hours late. You will represent us until I get there and that is final."

I knew she was a bit nervous about going, but you have to climb back on that horse that threw you, or so I had been told all my life. I think Jen was glad that I was trying to move forward with our relationship and complete the healing.

The party had been going a couple hours when I arrived. I didn't see Jen any place by the pool. I went into the house to look. I smiled and chatted with neighbors and friends as I casually searched the house. Finally, I decided to look downstairs in the bathroom and game room in the basement. As I was coming around the corner at the bottom of the stairway, I heard voices and stopped.

"What do you say to a little kiss, Jen?" asked a man. I recognized the voice of Bill Harding. He was another of the neighborhood womanizers. I never realized there were so many guys like that.

"Not a chance, Bill," responded Jen. "I'll save my kisses for Mike."

"Mike isn't here, Jen. Last time you made a party without him, you were pretty friendly to Wes, remember?" prodded the prick. "I was hoping you and I could be as friendly."

"You pompous, presumptuous shit!" growled Jen. "Your sorry ass couldn't stand the beating Mike would lay on you if he heard you talk to me like this. Get the fuck out of my way!"

Bill stepped in front of Jen and blocked her path. As he grabbed her arms, I hurried around the corner. Jen was being held by Bill, but looking at me. She had no way of knowing, what, if anything, I had heard.

As Jen recognized me and realized how the situation might appear, she gasped and almost feinted. Bill turned to see what had caused the reaction in Jen. Before I could reach him, he sprinted into the bathroom and locked the door.

"Mike, I didn't.., I wasn't, I just came down to use the bathroom," whimpered Jen. Her fear was tangible.

It began to dawn on me that Jen had been suffering as much, or possibly more, than I had been. I had the release of mixing it up with Wes. I had the luxury of being the wronged party. Jen was the transgressor and had no escape from it, unless I allowed it. She needed me to love her, not to blame her. She had made a horrible mistake, but where do we go from this point? Either I loved her, or I did not. If I did not, I owed it to her and myself to remove her from my life. I knew that was not what I wanted. I had been hurt, but the hurt paled in comparison to my need and love for the woman that had given birth to my children and made my life complete.

I grabbed Jen much like Bill had just done. She looked at me with moist eyes, afraid of my reaction. I pressed my lips to hers and kissed her hard. Her arms went around my neck and she clung to me as we kissed. I could feel her tears on my cheeks and it occurred to me that she had done enough crying over the past few months.

I broke our kiss and whispered into Jen's ear, "Let's go home for an hour or so. I need to make love to you."

"That's what I've been hoping for, Mike!" smiled Jen through her tears. "I am your girl, any way, any time you want me. I just hope it's often and forever!"