Telltale Signs

"Hold on Ellen," I said. Her voice was grating, giving me a headache. "Karen didn't drag him anyplace. They went together."

"It was her idea to take him. He had to go." She paused to let it sink in. I didn't understand. Someone higher must have ordered them to attend the seminar. What was the topic anyway?

"He didn't have to go because of Karen?" That was inconceivable. What was she saying?

"You don't seem to get it. Your wife is my husband's boss now. He jumps every time she snaps her fingers."

This news stunned me. Karen hadn't mentioned another promotion. "I'll speak to her and call you back," I offered, wanting to end the conversation. I needed to think.

What was Ellen complaining about? Did she know something I didn't? Or was she merely imagining things? Perhaps she was just insecure? Should I tell her what Karen had told me about their marriage? But, Ellen's accusations were making me anxious.

I went snooping in Karen's desk and found her company's latest annual report. There was a group photo and individual pictures of the directors. Harold P. Shiver, 56, director since 2001, President of H.P.S. Enterprises, Baltimore, Maryland. He was a young fifty six with a receding hairline and a touch of gray in his moustache. What does the P stand for? Predator?

My mind was racing. Ellen had asserted that my wife dragged her husband off to Baltimore, inferring she had designs on the tall man. Now I found that Mr. Shiver, a man who, with a kiss and a compliment, had engendered such a desire for wild sex in my wife that she had fucked me raw, was from Baltimore.

"Did you find out where they're staying?" I asked Nancy when she told me Karen had already called before I got home on Thursday evening. She had. Then Nancy broke the news to me, confirming what Ellen had told me the night before. Karen was coming home Saturday morning. She did not give a reason for the change in plans.

Karen didn't answer the telephone in her room so I left a voicemail message. When she didn't return my call I tried again at midnight. There was still no answer in her room. I gave up and went to bed at one A.M. I couldn't sleep.

Why hadn't my wife told me that Ted worked for her? And why had she "dragged him along?" as his wife put it. Thinking of this reminded me that I had not called Ellen as I promised. It was too late and I had nothing to tell her anyway.

"Why can't you come home tonight?" I pleaded with Karen when she eventually called early on Friday morning.

"Well, I see someone got up on the wrong side of the bed. What's the matter darling? Do you miss me?" She sounded chipper, like she had gotten more sleep than me.

"Why didn't you return my calls last night?

She had broken our travel rule. When either of us was out of town we were to call to let the rest of the family know we were thinking about them. I abided by the rule when I traveled and I expected Karen to do the same.

"I'm calling now, aren't I?"

She skirted both of my questions. I didn't find out why she couldn't come home that night or why she hadn't returned my calls. Instead, she gave me the flight she would be arriving on the next day and practically ordered me to take Nancy and the boys out for dinner that evening. "Tell the boys I have gifts for them. I'm bringing something home for you too honey. You're going to enjoy it," she cooed in that special way that always excites me. She knows this and often makes the sound intentionally. Why now, over the phone from so many miles away?

I invited Ellen to have dinner with us that evening and since we couldn't all squeeze into the new car we drove the SUV. We were all in a quiet mood, probably wondering what had kept Karen and Ted in Baltimore. I know it was uppermost on my mind all through the evening.

Ellen, out of respect for the boys and their grandmother, said nothing about her husband's absence. But the next morning on the way to the airport she let me have it right between the eyes.

"Do you think she's fucking him? He idolizes her, do you know that?"

"What are you talking about?" I acted flabbergasted although similar thoughts crept into my conscious thinking after such a forthright question. I didn't know about Ted's fascination with my wife, his boss.

"Don't play dumb. I've seen them together. So have you."

"Let's not jump to conclusions," I said, trying to sound practical and way more confident than I actually was.

"What will we do? What will we do if we find out that they're .... you know?" Poor Ellen was near tears.

"You've got to put those thoughts aside. You don't want Ted to see you like this, do you?" This was as much for my benefit as Ellen's. Her agitation wasn't helping me, but I squared my shoulders and concentrated on trying to make her less anxious.

The flight was delayed due to heavy air traffic. Ellen kept talking, conjuring up various scenarios about what telltale signs to look for, and how we would know if they had been screwing. She claimed to know all of Ted's facial expressions and said she could tell when he was trying to deceive her. She worked out an elaborate scheme to signal one another as soon as we recognized something was awry.

I was relieved when she at last excused herself to go to the ladies room. Karen had branded Ellen and Ted's marriage secure but I wondered if they had ever discussed trust.

Karen came into view carrying two giant shopping bags. She looked spectacular, dressed in travel togs, jeans and her leather jacket. Ellen unraveled when she saw her husband walking behind Karen, a carry-on bag slung from each shoulder. They spotted us and waved excitedly.

Karen dropped the shopping bags and wrapped her arms around me, pressing her lips and body to me. She was making that cooing sound she knows drives me insane.

We separated, and at arm's length I gave her a once-over appraisal. "Don't look at me that way. I've gained three pounds."

"No you haven't. You're stunning," I said honestly.

She was hugging me even tighter as she whispered in my ear, "We'll work it off together."

Ted had Ellen's legs wrapped around his waist and he was supporting her ass in his hands. She was squealing wildly. We had just recently gone over the signals. I tried to remember what a high-pitched squeal meant.

Ted handed me Karen's bag and we headed to the car. "Where's the new car honey? Ted hasn't seen it," Karen wanted to know as we got into the SUV. I explained that I wanted to make sure there was room for the luggage and her purchases.

Ellen flashed the 'they are overacting' signal, raising her left eyebrow. At least that's what I thought the left eyebrow meant. I scratched my right ear to let her know that I agreed. Karen was all over me. "We'll send mom and the kids for ice cream," she whispered in the ear I had just scratched.

The boys put up such a fuss at seeing their mom that we didn't get to spend the afternoon alone. I couldn't blame them for turning down ice cream. They hadn't seen their mother since Tuesday night when she packed to go away. She gave the boys lavish gifts, suggesting they try on the knitted sweaters and set up the new computer games. But they resisted, clinging to her like orphaned cubs to anything with fur. Karen looked my way, apologetically. I understood. Hadn't I wanted her to spend more time with the boys? She spent part of the afternoon in the basement, working off the three pounds she thought she had gained. The boys watched as she demonstrated the exercise equipment to them.

I used the time to form my questions. "Why didn't you give me more warning that you were going away? Why didn't you come home last night?"

"Here's your gift," Karen said, pausing at the bathroom door when she joined me in the bedroom. She was wearing a short silk nightgown, the light from the bathroom silhouetting the round form of her hips and the architecture of her perfect legs. Even before I let my eyes rise I knew she was smiling, ready to make me forget my burning questions.

She posed as if she knew the effect the movement of the silk was having on me. The top gently cradled her breasts, making the slightest shift of the material conspicuous. She reached behind her and pulled the bathroom door almost shut, leaving only a crack for the light to filter through. I was spellbound, almost completely forgetting my questions about the past few days.

She came to me, and for the first time in days I held my wife in my arms. The feeling was familiar, yet foreign. I rubbed my hands over her back. Her bare skin was the same but the silk sliding under my palm seemed strange. Was she different? Was there less of her? Was she still mine? She was harder than I remembered, yet soft too, yielding. I felt her, smelled her and decided that I knew her.

"I like my gift," I managed to say between kisses. Her bare thigh touched mine, tingling, and I knew she was smiling.

"I got you other things but I bought this when I was shopping for you, only you," she whispered, her voice raspy. She was turning her head, guiding me to her neck, her ear and back to her lips. I somehow longed for the old days when it was me who initiated sex.

Her intentions were clear. She maneuvered me toward the bed, trying to make me forget the questions I intended to ask. But I was on to her tricks. I wouldn't have it.

"Karen, what's gotten into you lately? I've seen some telltale signs. You've been in Baltimore for three nights and you broke our travel rule, something I have never done because you demand to know I'm alright. Leaving word with Nancy wasn't good enough. I needed to talk to you. Karen, I've got to know why you didn't return my calls."

She looked at me with a strange look I didn't recognize, but now that I was started I continued on. "And what about Ted? You never told me you're now his boss, and that you ordered him to go to Baltimore with you. What is going on?"

"Who said I 'ordered' him to go?" Karen asked with a definite desperation in her voice. It pained me to hear her talk that way but we weren't finished.

"Ellen told me. She's been a basket-case all week and her fears have started gnawing at me. She knew you weren't coming home on Friday evening a full twenty-four hours before I did. When you didn't answer your phone I waited for you to return my call. I couldn't sleep. All I could think of was you and Ted spending three nights together in Baltimore. And then I discovered that slimy bastard Harold PREDATOR Shiver lives in Baltimore. What am I supposed to think?"

"What? What is all this about me running off with Ted or Harold? Are you crazy Doug?"

"Me crazy? .... ME? Have you got any idea what you put me through this week? Especially after the kissing business with that Shiver creep? Then Ellen and all her calls about you and Ted. What am I supposed to think? Why didn't you tell me about the longer stay if you had nothing to hide? All you had to do was call me and explain what was happening when you should have and I wouldn't need to think any of this rubbish. What am I supposed to think when you deliberately don't call, withhold very important information when you do, refuse to say why you didn't call, then stay that extra night and wouldn't tell me why? You give me some reasons I should not be very worried about us and this family?"

"What's this business about me and Ted?"

"Ellen thinks you two are cheating on us. She asked me outright if you were fucking her husband."

Karen's face turned scarlet, a result of blood rushing to her head. She stumbled backwards to the bed, dizzy and disoriented. I felt awful, seeing what my accusations had caused. She shook her head and swallowed.

"That poor girl. I'll speak to Ellen. I'll explain there's nothing between Ted and me," Karen managed to say when she regained her composure.

Sitting on the bed, looking down, Karen was probably considering what she would say to Ellen, or was she thinking up some plausible story to tell me to get her off the hook? I paced in front of her. "You need to explain other things to me, too. You've changed and I'm entitled to some answers. It's not only the sudden mysterious trip to Baltimore. It goes back to the Charity auction when some guy at the bar called everyone's attention to your ass. I was mortified when I saw that it was you he was talking about. I didn't know if I should punch him or if I should be proud that I was the husband of someone as attractive as you."

Karen put her hand to her mouth and her face reddened again. "Did you hear him? Why didn't you tell me? I dropped my purse and when I bent down to pick it up I heard him and knew he must have been talking about me. I ran to the ladies room but after I calmed down I couldn't help laughing. Why were you mortified? Didn't you think it was flattering that my ass would prompt such a comment from a complete stranger?"

"I think I was more concerned about how you would respond," I answered. I stopped pacing and was watching Karen. She was beaming, seemingly anxious to tell me more.

"Oh, that same night I met a man in the auction hall. He was a little tipsy. He started talking about his wife and how lucky he was. I told him I was lucky too. I thought of you and how much you have put up with over the years, my fat years and my moods. I wanted you then like I've never wanted you before. Where were you?

"That night I took the initiative. I could see you were bewildered by my sexual prowess but it seemed to excite you too. Remember how you praised my enthusiasm? And for the second time that evening I heard that I have a nice ass.

"Buying the car was a sort of 'make-up' gift. I wanted to please you, to demonstrate my love. But I guess I was showing off too. I was proud of the progress I had made at work. The car represented my abilities. Driving it or just being around the car gave me a good feeling.

"A man approached me at the mall garage that Saturday morning when I was waiting for you and the boys to finish your Christmas shopping. His remarks were about the car but it was plain to see it was really me he was interested in. The way he looked at me, raw desire in his eyes. That told me it was my body he admired, not the car's.

"I flashed my wedding ring and told the man, Rob was his name, that the car belonged to my husband. You arrived and I was happy and proud to see you and the boys. If the boys were not with us I would have screwed you right there, as soon as we got in the car.

"Telling you about Harold's kiss was a mistake. It was a casual bedtime remark; my devious way of letting you know your wife attracted management's attention. At the time I thought Harold had a position upstairs. I didn't know he was a member of the board of directors. Maybe your suspicion was aroused, but it wasn't all that was aroused that night.

"Mothers have a sixth sense; call it intuition, for impending danger to her child or temptation he will not be able to resist without her guidance. Business people have it too. Intuitively, I saw a red flag when I opened the invitation for me to attend that seminar. It was from the fifteenth floor and had been directed through my boss. But I knew, I just knew that Harold Shiver had something to do with the hand written note, "This will be perfect for Karen." The seminar, "A Practical Guide to Dealing with Anger in the Workplace," was being held in Baltimore, Harold's hometown.

"Mr. Shiver made it a point to "pop in" each time he made a visit to our company. It seemed to me that his visits were more frequent than other directors. The first time he invited me to lunch I begged off, jokingly saying it was the wrong time of the month, and then, red faced, had to explain I meant there were publication deadlines to meet.

"On his next visit I had to accept his invitation. This time it was to the fifteenth floor, with some of the vice presidents in attendance; how much trouble could that be? Mr. Shiver told me to call him Harold. He asked about my family, and I learned that he had two children, both grown and out of the house. Harold was very attentive and for a man in his fifties he looked to be trim and fit. He was a perfect gentleman that day and every other time he "popped in," to let me know he was in town.

"The voicemail message from his secretary after our first day at the seminar didn't really surprise me. Could I have dinner with Mr. Shiver on Friday evening?

"How dare he! This is above and beyond the call of duty, I thought. He knows I have a family and they expect me home on Friday. He even knows the ages of the boys. This is sexual harassment, plain and simple. I telephoned the secretary and left a message. "We will be pleased to have dinner with Mr. Shiver." I wondered if the irritation in my voice was detectable. I had not tried to hide it.

"Leaving word that I wouldn't be home until Saturday was torturous. I avoided talking to you and when we did speak I gave vague answers to your questions. I'm sorry. I knew I was breaking our travel rule but I didn't want to explain the reason for the change in plans. If I started to cry it would have been upsetting to both of us. I was toying with resigning my position but I wasn't ready to discuss it with anyone, not even you, my best friend. I can see now how silly that was in hindsight, but at the time it made sense to me Doug. If the same thing happened at home I know I would have told you about it and worked through it with you. But in my agitated state the phone seemed too impersonal – it's not possible to cry on someone's shoulder over the phone. If I had that conversation it needed to be while looking into your eyes and holding you. Please believe me.

"The seminar was boring. I have fifty-something people in my department and if any of them were angry I would be the first to know about it. How dare Harold Shiver think I needed help dealing with `Anger in the Workplace?' If he wanted to see how angry I could get, that was about to happen!

"Thinking about him made ME angry. And dinner... sitting though dinner with him when I should be at home with my family really pissed me off. I eased my vengeance by shopping for you, mother and the boys. I was downright extravagant. When I got back to the room I realized I hadn't eaten dinner. I really wasn't hungry but I ordered something from room service and tried to think how I would tell you a lecherous old man was hitting on me. I know I should have called you Doug. Keeping my troubles inside was not being fair to you. You let the phone ring five times before you must have slammed the receiver down. It was excruciating to not pick up the phone, I almost did. But I knew what you would say. You would tell me come home and resign my position, but I wasn't ready to quit just yet. I had my secret weapon and wanted to play it out. I knew with Ted there I would be completely safe, but I wanted to get evidence of Harold's intentions, at least enough for myself so I knew for sure what he was doing, even if it was not enough to formally confront him about his conduct.

"Ted took me under his wing from the time I worked mother's hours. Each time I was promoted it was his congratulations, after yours, that I treasured most. Ted is my buddy. When I smelled a rat about the seminar I marched down to his cubicle and asked him to accompany me, assuring him that I would clear it with the two management levels between us.

"Ted, the perfect gentleman, stood and said, 'for you, I would go to hell and back, even if it's in Baltimore, boss.'

"I thumped him on the shoulder and asked if I needed to clear the trip with Ellen. He grinned and shook his head."

Karen stopped talking and watched me, as if for a reaction. I looked into her eyes and knew she understood my reasons for mistrusting her and that she also realized my developing regret for doing so. She was right about that phone call. We two say so much to each other with our eyes and a gentle touch. I needed to touch her now to transfer my sorrow. I reached out and felt her thigh, the soft smooth skin above the knee. She smiled confidently, like 'my Karen' and continued.