Telos Ch. 01

There was a voice that told her there was freedom on the other side of the door. It told her that all her master wanted was for her to obey him. He wouldn't stop her if she left. If she defied him she'd be free even if he captured her again. His control would always be in question. She knew he wouldn't stop her from leaving anymore. The control was what he cared about.

Freedom was a step away.

And it terrified her.

Inside room she was a slave. When master returned he would make her just like Grace in the book. She would be happy. She wanted to be happy. She wanted to have a purpose. Master had offered her meaning and he had always been truthful. He cared for her. Being his happy, eager slave, sounded wonderful.

Outside the door there was nothing. She had no idea who she'd be.

She wouldn't be Grace. Happy. Eager. Obedient.

She wouldn't be a good girl if she was free but the voice told her that freedom was a good thing.

The conflict drained all the strength from her. She slumped on the floor in front of the door.

Freedom or happiness. Defiance or eagerness. Independence or obedience. Struggle or purpose. Her old self, with real thoughts and real choices, was waiting on the other side of the door alongside cold and uncertainty and pain. Inside her master would slowly turn her into happy eager little Grace until there was nothing left of who she had been but he would do it with warmth and clarity and pleasure.

Grace didn't know how long she sat in front of the door in silence trying to put together a single thought. No food or water came through. After a long while the stress and hunger became too much. Her head swam, the blank white room blurred in front of her eyes, and she collapsed, unconscious, on the carpet.

The next thing she knew a hand was brushing the hair out of her face. Drool had stained the carpet by her face.

"Wake up, Grace."

She shook herself awake and looked up at her master blearily.

"Did you decide?" he asked.

She stared at him blankly, still trying to recover from her sleepy state.

Her master was patient. "Were you waiting for me like a good slave or were you running away?"

Grace collected herself as best she was able and arranged herself so that she was kneeling demurely in front of him, eyes downcast and hands folded on the floor. "I was being good."

"You just want the drug again," he accused with a harshness she'd never heard before.

"No."

"You're a greedy little liar."

She eyes snapped up at him in terror. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

"Hush," he said touching her check, "its okay to want the Bliss. Just be truthful. Now, tell me if you got rid of any of those bad thoughts you were having yesterday."

When Grace tried to think she found the voices muted and distant. A few were missing altogether. "I did! I made myself stop thinking about freedom. You said that . . ."

His smiled was encouraging. "Go on."

"You said I would have a purpose but I don't know what it is yet." She cringed as he cupped her chin and forced her to look at him. Their eyes locked together. "Please tell me. I want to fight the voices. They sound silly when you talk to me about them but when I'm alone they're so clever. I want to tell them why they're wrong but I don't know yet. Please."

"You must be so frightened," he said comfortingly.

Tears welled up in her eyes.

"It's very simple, my darling little slave." Warmth spread through her body. "A slave exists to serve and to obey. You are eager to serve, to put others before yourself. You are happy to obey, to listen to my voice and let it replace your thoughts. Right and wrong is simple. My orders are truth. Things may disagree with my orders but you'll never have to fear that because you will know, deep inside, that those things are wrong."

She nodded as much as she could. "But it's hard for me to think sometimes. What if I get confused?"

A look of concern darkened his face. "Your life is my responsibility. If anything at all upsets you tell me so I can make it better." His hand left her chin and brushed across her brow. His next words were barely a whisper. "Breaking your mind has left it so vulnerable. I need to careful with it."

"What was that, master?"

"Not for you." Her master kissed her lightly. When he drew back she tried to keep their lips together but fell against his chest instead. He laughed and patted her head. "Just reminding myself."

"I thought you were sad."

"Not sad, no." He placed a hand on her belly. "You must be hungry."

She nodded.

"It's time for you to get some real food in you so you can build your strength up." He kissed her again and pushed her onto the carpet. The fabric of his pants brushed along the inside of her legs as he forced her knees apart. "There is still so much work left to do."

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