Terrible Company Ch. 06

She stood stunned, staring at the room. A crude recreation of a Varghul Orc hut stood in one corner. An ogre war banner draped over a goblin mating totem amid a pile of various tribal weapons. The room was a hodge podge of misplaced and appropriated culture that left Val wincing.

"Take me." Jerrod turned around in slow motion, spinning and backing toward the bed with a hungry grin.

"Wait," Val uttered incredulously. "What?"

His eyes lit up. "Claim me as your war trophy, you savage brute!"

Val's expression darkened as she looked past him. A leopard-skin bra and loincloth lay alongside a heavy wooden club on the bed. Her mind reeled. "That's what I'm here for?"

Jerrod beamed with pride as he hefted the club. "Carved this beauty myself." A wooden club. Val didn't even know how to respond to that.

He turned to her, offering her the handle. "Want to try it out?"

Then she realized she did know how to respond to that.

Val made to reach for the club, but instead grabbed his wrist and yanked him toward her. His grin widened, thinking this was going to go a different route right up until the moment her fist connected just below his ribs. Jerrod fell to his knees, his face comically stretched out as the air was driven from his lungs. She drew her left arm back, high above her shoulder, and brought it crashing down with every ounce of her frustration along for the ride. Jerrod twisted ferociously, hit the ground with a hard thud, and didn't move.

She grabbed the loincloth off the bed and tied it tightly around his ankles, then did the same around his wrists with the top. Shoving the handle of the club up into his ass was no small feat, but she felt much better, having gotten it in there, as she stormed back into the night with two of his wine bottles in hand.

***

"A new player 'as entered the game," Mathilda announced, in her most announcer-like voice, as Val sat down at the table.

"She's on my team," Ayen said quickly.

"Fine," Mathilda snarled. "Yer gonna need all the 'elp ye can get!"

"We might need to move out sooner rather than later." The big Orc set her empty wine bottle down hard on the table. The other one lay in fragments by the wall outside the Clayborne estate, where she'd hurled it after guzzling the contents.

"Ah take it yer tryst di'n't go as planned then?" Mathilda waved to the beleaguered gnome tending the bar and ordered a few more rounds. Val merely shook her head. " 'ow soon?"

"First light should be fine." She looked around at the score of empty mugs and frowned. "How do you do a team drinking game?"

"We'll take turns," Ayen slurred. He blinked exaggeratedly, and took a moment to focus his eyes on her. "Maybe you should take the next few." Val harrumphed; the Dwarf didn't appear to be affected at all. Her instincts were telling her they needed to leave right then, but...

***

"Ashaaamed!" Mathilda repeated, as she hovered over the table. "Yer whole greeny race should be ashamed!! Ah had a ten round 'ead start, an' yer only drinkin' ev'ry other!"

"No I'm not," Val insisted angrily.

"Yes you are," Ayen reminded her.

To his credit, the Half-Elf had hung in there, but it was all about to end one way or the other. Val fought to think straight through her drunken haze. She needed a... something. "What the..."

"Wot?"

The big Orc reached her thumb and middle finger down into her mug, and pinched them together on the surface. "Whatthefuckisthat?"

"Ah don'..."

Val lifted her hand and extended it over the table, middle finger pushed tight against the pad of her thumb.

"Wot am Ah..." Mathilda peered blearily at her thumb, eyes crossing as she got closer and closer.

When she was in range Val unleashed her coiled middle finger, flicking the Dwarf just above the bridge of her nose.

"Ahh!" Mathilda squawked, pressing her hand to her forehead and sitting back in her chair. "The fuck was 'at?"

"A..." Word. Come on, word. "Coup de grace?" That was maybe it.

The shorter woman pulled her hand away and squinted at her palm. "Ye made me bleed." Mathilda pushed a finger against the tiny wound and muttered under her breath. When her finger came away clean, she fixed Val with a wavering stare. "Ah take it this means ye forfeit?" Val reluctantly nodded, and Mathilda chuckled as she wobbled off of her chair. "Suckers. Ye shoulda... shoulda..."

Ayen and Val each winced as the Healer fell to her side and hit the ground with a terrific thud. Both of them toyed with the idea of getting up to check on her, and accepted her buzzsaw snoring as proof of life. Ivy and Katsa, having already done the bulk of the cleaning work, had passed out hours ago.

"If she doesn't remember that," Val warbled, "I'm counting it as a win."

"Yeah! Yeah!" Ayen yelled drunkenly. "You—"

The big Orc cut him off with a hand against his chest and a grin. "What are you trying to do? Wake everyone up?"

Ayen's eyebrows rose up onto his forehead. "Oh," he whispered. "Uhh, right now?"

Val's grin darkened. "Right here. Right now." Her chair scuffed loudly across the wooden floorboards as she scooted back from the table, the pronounced bulge becoming even more so as she unlaced the bindings on her breeches.

"His loss," Ayen slurred, as his fingers fumbled at the waistband of his own.

Val grabbed the tail of his shirt and dragged him between her legs even as he was lowering his leggings. Her other hand squeezed tight on her shaft as it struggled to stand up on its own. Two quick pumps pushed enough lube out through her clit to grease a pig, and it oozed down the sides and onto her fingers.

"Aww, did he put you away w-w-wet?"

"Idon'twannatalkabouthim," Val growled.

Ayen stood between her legs, staring down at her heavy shaft, and grinned. His own cock, a couple inches longer and already at full sail, was half as thick at best, and he was no slouch in that department either. He gave a quivering gasp as she grabbed his shirt again and spun him around to face away.

"Oooooooh that's nice," Ayen squealed quietly, as she shoved two dripping fingers unceremoniously up into his ass. His hips moved with a mind of their own, grinding back against her palm while his ring clenched and grabbed at her knuckles.

"Sit on it," she rasped, her voice low and guttural. Ayen couldn't stop himself from blushing while he reached back to guide himself toward her. He pinched his eyes tightly as he felt the slick, fully-engorged head press against his pucker. "Do it already."

"I'm going, I'm go-uuuuuuuuh!"

Val sneered as she took firm grasp of his hips and thrust up out of the chair, loving, as she always did, the sight of the the pink tip disappearing inside of someone else. "Gotta do errrything," she mumbled. She pulled him closer to her, her shaft sinking deeper, before lowering back down into the chair.

"Slooow," Ayen whined. "Fuck! It's like fucking a horse!"

"Yo-you ever fucked a horse, Elf?" Val sucked her lower lip in between her large canines and bit down hard as she watched his amazing ass take inch after inch of her. The very edge of his ring darkened as it stretched around her.

"I've fu-uuuuuuck!" Ayen groaned as the going got tougher. "I fucked a centaur once," he wheezed.

"Me too," Val sang, as she pulled the Thief down fully onto her lap. She leaned forward, her bound breasts pressing against his back as her chin dug into his shoulder. "Clever line."

"Wha-Oh!" Ayen winced as her hands clamped down on his waist, and lifted him slowly up into the air. "Oooooh!"

"Hadda say something." Val leaned back, tilting her head so she could watch her shaft sliding back out of his asshole. The dark green crossfading to pink.

Ayen whimpered quietly, and his shoulder twitched.

"Areyou... touchin'yerselfrighnow?"

He whimpered again and nodded.

"Tease."

"Slower," he whined, as he looked back over his shoulder; his delicate features twisted in excruciating pleasure. "Fuck! Slower!"

"Nope." They groaned in unison as Val brought him down hard into her lap, her shaft squelching loudly as it burrowed into his cavity. The muscles in her arms flexed and bulged as she lifted him up, only to bring him crashing back down into her lap. Up, and then down hard. Up, and then down hard. Squelching louder each time as her shaft continued to ooze fluid into his ass.

"Fuuuck!"

"Shut up!" she hissed.

"I ca..." Squelch. "I ca..." Squelch. "I ca..." Squelch. Squelch. Squelch.

Val lurched up out of her seat, throwing Ayen forward over the table in front of her. Her hand came down around his neck, pinning the side of his head against the well-worn oak. "I said be quiet."

Ayen moaned as she worked her shaft in and out of him, finding a smoother rhythm. The table screeched across the floor after a hard thrust, and Val twisted like an owl; Ivy stirred, but that was it. Mathilda and Katsa didn't move at all.

"Don't stop," Ayen groaned. "Fuck, don't stop."

"Wild centaurs, my little cuntsleeve." Her hand entwined in his hair, fisting and yanking back until his neck bent nearly ninety degrees. "Wild centaurs."

"Yes!" Ayen whimpered. "Yes!"

Her hips rolled faster, a smooth circular motion that neither hilted nor withdrew. She sucked air in through gritted teeth watching his beautiful ass take her over and over. "Fuck," she wheezed.

"Pull harder!"

Val happily obliged, wrenching upward until his back arched inhumanly. "Take it," she rasped. "Take it."

"I'm gonna cum," Ayen wheezed. "I'mna... I'mna...fuck... fuuuck!"

Val grabbed the closest pitcher she could get to with her free hand. She reached it around underneath the table as she hilted, corralling Ayen's cock in the mouth of it and sliding the makeshift cum-catcher up until she was sure. Ayen's dark walls clamped hard around her as he came, milking even more of her lube with the spasmodic waves of his climax. She could feel a wet spot on her breeches, bunched down around her thighs, and knew it meant she was dripping everywhere. She gave it a few more seconds before lifting the glass pitcher back up and setting it down on the table in front of Ayen. He squealed and twitched with every movement, and then moaned long and low. His cum was one long swirl layered throughout the translucent amber, slowly descending to lay along the bottom.

Her grip slowly loosened from his hair, and Ayen settled back down against the table. His fingers found purchase in nicks and grooves in the aged wood as she started up again, grunting only softly as she bore into him again. Faster. Harder. His mouth hung open as she railed him, screaming in silence as the big Orc steadily brought herself toward satisfaction. Val grumbled underneath her breath, snarling as the tension built in her core. For minutes on end. Her fingertips bit into the flesh of his hips, thumbs reaching inward to spread his ass cheeks. As the tension swelled. The thickest part of her shaft, at the very base, sliding in and out of his gaping hole with ease.

Val stood up straight as she came, rising up on the balls of her feet. Ayen rose with her, his ass rooted around her shaft and his hips held in the vice of her fingers. His feet dangled in the air while he clung desperately to the table. They stayed like that for nearly half a minute, the Half-Elf hanging from her grasp, before she slumped back down to the ground.

"Fuck," Ayen whimpered, as she pulled out of him and fell back into her chair.

A deluge of thin juices followed her out, splashing as much on their boots as on the floor. Val stared raptly at the yawning gape of his ass while he wheezed, bent over the table and panting. It was tempting to go searching for things to push in there just for fun. The ring twitched lazily with every breath he took, struggling to shrink itself back down to size.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck."

"You keep... you keep..." Val shook her head from side to side, trying to clear out some of the fuzz. "You keep that up and we jus' might."

"Can't threaten me with a good time," he sang softly. His knees threatened to give out as he crouched down to grab his breeches. "Damn... that big bag of dicks really got you all torqued up, huh?"

"I said I don't wanna talk about it."

"I think I've-oooooo," he groaned, straightening and pulling them up over his hips. "..earned a little info, right? I mean, you did takeitoutonme." He had to put a hand on the table to steady himself.

Val rolled her eyes with a sigh, grabbing a pitcher. "Yes. He did. 're ya happy?"

"We gotta strike back." Ayen nodded gravely, his whole body wobbling unsteadily with the force of his nodding.

"I 'lready did," she said evasively.

Ayen slumped backwards into the table. "Ooo! Whadja do?"

"I don't wanna talk about it." The fire burned low beside them, casting a deep orange light across the room.

Ayen frowned in thought, and then staggered over to Katsa's pack.

"Wha're ya doin? Dontouchthat."

"I got it," Ayen drunkenly dismissed. "I just wanna see if she has anymore'a them combustible lemons."

"Combussable... why?"

"So we can—"

"I know what they're for," Val argued irritably.

"Well then you know why I'm lookin' for 'em!" Ayen made a dissatisfied noise as he closed up the Arcanists pack. "Arright, c'mon," he whispered as he staggered toward the door.

"What? Noo," she whined.

"C'mon," he repeated over his shoulder.

Val grumbled as she lurched up out of her chair. "I said I arready toocare of it!"

" 's's fer yer own good," he slurred, as he weaved out the door and into the night.

***

"This is a bad idea," Val whispered, as they stumbled through the dark. They rolled over the low walls surrounding the Clayborne mansion, and tumbled into the sparse grass on the other side. "We are way too drunk for this, and we don't need to be sneaking! There's no guards!"

Ayen spun around, jabbing a finger in her direction. "Listen, warrior-woman-person; if we get into any fights, I'll gladly hide while you take care of it, but this is Thiefing! I'm the Thief! Do what I say!"

Val nodded, acquiescing to airtight logic, and crouched low behind him as they stalked from cover to cover. "Isn't it pronounced 'thieving'?"

"I'm not talking to you." They scampered across the lawn to duck behind a well. "I gotta admit; I'm a little shocked this didn't go off between you two."

"I am too," Val slurred. "Things were going along great until he showed me his little sex hut."

The Half-Elf peered over the top of the low stone. "Didn't take him for a whips-and-chains type."

"No. Ugh," Val groaned. "It was all Orc stuff. Had special clothes for me to wear and everything. He wanted me to..."

Ayen fell back into a crouch and stared at her in the dark. "...to..."

She sighed. "Claim him."

"Like, as a dependent?"

"No," the big Orc said flatly.

"Oh. Ooooooooh!" Ayen giggled and covered his mouth. "He's a BGC slut!"

"A what?"

"Big gree—"

"You know what? Don't finish that." This time, both of them peered up and over the stone wall surrounding the well. "Can we go already?"

"Yeah, but before we get over there, you need to change how you're walking."

"What's wrong with my walk?"

"Well you're kind of scurrying. When we get right up next to the building, I'm gonna need you to skulk."

"What's wrong with scurrying?"

"It's bush league is what it is." Ayen shook his head. "I could lose my good standing if anyone else sees me with someone who was scurrying."

Val smirked disbelievingly. "You have good standing with someone?"

The Thief pressed his hand over his chest and gasped. "I have feelings, you know. If you prick me, I bleed."

"Didn't see any blood earlier." Both of them descended into drunken snickering, while frantically waving their hands at each other in an attempt to get the other one to stop making so much noise. "You're gonna get us caught!"

"No, you are!"

"No, you are!"

This went on for a bit, each slowly raising the volume of their voice until they were quietly screaming at each other. A deer cracking a dry twig several hundred yards away finally snapped them out of their bickering.

"How much did we drink?" Ayen asked, after a few moments pause.

"All of it." Val muttered.

He nodded, but tripped as soon as he tried to get up to skulk away from the well. Val cackled and trailed after him as he limped up to the wall of the main house.

"Still having trouble walking?"

"Well who's fault is that?" he fired back. "And stop scurrying."

"I could be doing cartwheels," she laughed. "There's no guards."

"Nooo, no way." Ayen shook his head as he skulked along the wall, testing each of the windows they passed to see if any of them were unlocked. "That just means they're crafty. Noble families have wealth. Wealth needs to be protected. Protection means guards. It's simple economics."

Val gave up trying to match his skulking and merely walked along behind him in a most un-stealthy manner, although it could be argued that a 6'5", 270 lb Orc is incapable of doing anything stealthily. "Wait. Thieving?"

"Thiefing," Ayen corrected. "And yes."

"Yeeeeah, he doesn't really have much in the way of... stuff."

"That's fine," Ayen said, gasping happily as one of the windows responded to his delicate probing. "We'll just help ourselves to some of his gold."

"Yeeeeah... I didn't get that 'hoard of gold' vibe from him."

"Slaves?" Ayen asked hopefully. "I could really use a good slave."

"Yeeeeah... no. Also, ew."

"Don't judge. I have needs." Ayen poked his head through the window, and tumbled through onto the floor. "Do you know how long it's been since I got a good deep tissue massage?"

"Yeeeeah..." Val shook her head. "I can't fit through that window."

The Thief scoffed and extended his hand. It took nearly a full minute of him pulling, and her pushing, and them both grunting loudly, before Val squeezed through on the other side.

"Ivy gives a really good massage," Val said, as she got up on her hands and knees. "She just gave me one yesterday."

"What?! When?"

"When we were bathing."

"Every time I try to get near her, that fucking Dwarf gets in the way." Ayen shook with quiet rage as he got up and looked around. "Wait, you were bathing?"

"Yeah."

"Were they nice?" he asked, cupping his hands against his chest.

"Oh yeah," Val said with a chuckling nod. "Yeah, very nice."

Ayen turned, staring through the wall in what he thought was the direction of town. "That woman is my white whale."

"Your what?"

"Nevermind," Ayen said, as he skulked across a sparse parlor. "You don't think they're fucking, do you?"

"I don't think her species can mate with whales."

"Not the whale! Mathilda!"

"Oh!" Val thought for a moment. "Yeah. They are most definitely fucking."

"I knew it!"

"Good for her."

"Can we all just stop using pronouns with this group? There's too many women. I can't ever keep track of who 'her' is."

"Right, uh... Good for Ivy, I meant. Dwarves are something else in the sack."

"And what, Elves are only good for passing the time?" Ayen slowly pulled the door open, and peeked his head out into the main hallway. "Whoa, I thought you were just kidding, or... fuck, I don't know! This place is empty."

"Yup."

"Well I really don't want to spend all night searching through every damn room, and we're not leaving empty handed." Ayen turned back into the parlor and cast his eyes about. "That."

"That what?" Val scoffed. "That rug?"