Thai Take-Away No. 4

"Offender number four! Eat!" shrilled the good-English speaking, cane-wielding female overseer, who had stationed herself behind Brendan ... and he didn't need telling twice.

Eagerly, Brendan tucked in. Tucked in, to the splendid feast before him. Mmmm ... Rice had never tasted like this!

Greedily, Brendan devoured his 'sole food'.

As his young Thai 'tormentor' proffered her right foot; continually angling her sole, to best advantage, Brendan responded as expected.

Working his tongue, from the tips of her toes, all the way up to the bottom of her heel, he pried loose, chewed, and swallowed, every single sullied grain of rice ... Upon which, the Thai girl then proffered to Brendan her left, boiled-rice bespattered bare sole ... And again, Brendan responded as he was expected to.

Just as Brendan had privately predicted, it was Offender Number 1, who was the first to succumb.

It was Offender Number 1, who was the first to need the ... emergency receptacle.

As Offender Number 1 surrendered his loathsome lunch to the emergency receptacle, the gathered crowd of watching - and, waiting their turn - Thai girls and women gleefully celebrated his abject misery, cheering and shouting and yelling their sentiments of satisfaction.

And, in the aftermath, as Offender Number 1 dry-retched, gagged, moaned groaned and cried in his continuing unspeakable wretchedness, the watching Thai girls and women laughed, chuckled, tittered and giggled, in amusement and delight.

Above all, though, the Thai girls and women were gratified.

Gratified, upon seeing a job well done.

Gratified, that they had brought Offender Number 1 to book. Brought him to book ... the Phut Suk Nou way.

Brought to book, the way Brendan had seen so excitingly and graphically described, in his It's a Funny Old World travel guide.

And now, as though in sympathy with Offender Number 1, Offender Number 2 and Offender Number 3 also noisily succumbed ... and another two emergency receptacles were quickly supplied.

And the uproarious, joyful celebrations of the Thai girls and women had to be heard, to be believed.

It was three down, one to go ... And the fourth emergency receptacle was on hand.

Brendan, though, was in no such need ... Not yet.

To Brendan, rice had never tasted so ... tasty.

And then his young female Thai 'tormentor', in casual, matter-of-fact tones, said something to the female overseer behind Brendan.

And in response, harsh-voiced, the good-English speaking female overseer addressed Brendan. "Offender number four! You will open your mouth. And you will open it widely. Now: do it!" she commanded authoritatively.

Brendan immediately did as instructed, by the stern-voiced, no-nonsense female overseer ... And, into his now wide-open mouth, his 'tormentor' duly inserted her foot; all five toes of her left foot, sole facing upwards.

It was a tight squeeze, But Brendan managed to accommodate them. And, as Brendan gazed raptly at the bottom of his 'tormentor's' dirty-rice covered bare heel, he felt her clutching toes, insistently pulling and tugging at his tongue, as though to 'kick-start' it.

Obviously not satisfied, with Brendan, and in tones of complaint, this time, his young Thai 'tormentor' said something further to the female overseer stationed behind Brendan.

And then Brendan suddenly felt the female overseer's strong fingers in his hair, gripping tightly, tugging painfully. Roughly yanking Brendan's head back, the female overseer snarled down at him, in her good English, "Between the toes, offender number four! You will lick up the rice from between her toes! Do it! You will lick the rice up, eat it - swallow it. Work your tongue! Now: do it, offender number four! And, one more complaint, and your bare bottom will feel the cut of my cane, before you are deported back to England!"

Brendan had to hand it to her: she spoke pretty good English. And again, Brendan didn't need telling twice.

What was, to the three young Thai offenders, a most vile and villainous subjugation, was to Brendan his most pleasurable, joyful, ecstatic - and, most highly arousing experience ever.

It was a Thai take-away, to remember.

For the three young Thai male offenders, it was a Thai take-away, that effectively took away their pride, their dignity, their self-esteem - their very sense of worth. Just as it was meant to.

But, for Brendan, it was a very different Thai take-away - Thai take-away No. 4.

It was Thai take-away No. 4, that, as Brendan worked his tongue, prying loose and taking away the diabolically dirtied grains from the purposefully unwashed and deliberately-dirtied soles of this 'punishing' and 'tormenting' female of Phut Suk Nou, took away the obstacles to Brendan's long-denied desires, and took away his long pent-up frustrations - took away, the barriers to his fantasies.

Thai take-away No. 4, took away Brendan's ever gnawing 'hunger pangs' ... and filled him up good.

And now, as Brendan was the only offender left 'in the game', it was his 'place mat', that the Thai girls and women so desperately wanted to occupy.

His, 'place mat', that they coveted.

His, 'place mat', that they crowded around, pushing and shoving and elbowing out of their way, others of their number, in vying to oust Brendan's present 'tormentor'.

Vying, to be next, to stand on Offender Number 4's - this Westerner; this outrageous Englishman, called Brendan Burrows - 'place mat', in their bare feet.

Vying, to be next, to have Offender Number 4 work and pry loose with his tongue, the trampled flat, sadistically sullied grains of highly absorbent rice, straight from the soles of their dirty bare feet.

Vying, to be next, to have Offender Number 4, under threat of the caning of his life, pry loose with his tongue, eat, and swallow, the dastardly despoiled, grisly grey grains, direct from the soles of their purposefully unwashed and deliberately-dirtied feet.

Vying, to be next, to make Offender Number 4 eat the gruesome grains, that, like tiny wash-sponges, scrubbed off and absorbed from their maliciously mashing soles, and their gleefully grinding heels, and their sadistically scrunching toes; the crushed, dreadfully dirtied grains squelching out from in between them, all of the dirt, dust, their days' old sweat, their flaky, crumbly dead skin, and their in-between-the-toes gunk.

Vying, to be the one, to make Offender Number 4 need the ... emergency receptacle.

Vying, to be the one, to claim the kudos of finally succeeding in punishing Offender Number 4 ... the Phut Suk Nou way.

The traditional, time-honoured, ritualistic way.

The summary, local-law way, in which it was the town's own girls and women, who were the arbiters of retribution.

The way, that was so excitingly and graphically described, in Brendan's It's a Funny Old World travel guide.

Now, yet more perfectly cooked, still-steaming, pristine-white fluffy boiled rice was liberally ladled out of the large cooking pot onto Brendan's square shaped, two-foot by two-foot white plastic 'place mat'. And, as the stern-faced, stern-voiced, ruthless and merciless cane-wielding female overseers used chopsticks to spread them out on the mat, the soft and fluffy, highly absorbent grains separated readily, creating an inch-thick white mat, of themselves.

And, one after another, in their purposefully unwashed and deliberately-dirtied bare feet, the Thai girls and women exultantly stood in Brendan's 'dinner' ... And then turned their backs on him, preparatory to 'feeding' him.

And Brendan eagerly awaited each of these extra 'servings', as his endless succession of 'tormentors' maliciously mashed their dirty soles, and gleefully ground their grimy heels, and sadistically scrunched their toes; the crushed, diabolically dirtied grains, squelching and squirting out from in between them.

And, exultantly waving their arms, and sashaying their bottoms in a dance of diabolical delight, the Thai girls and women gloatingly laughed in Brendan's face, as they did so.

Today, Brendan was eating well ... too well.

Eventually, you could have too much of a good thing - even this manna from heaven.

The result was predictable ... and inevitable.

And, as Brendan finally surrendered his multi-serving, gobbled up and wolfed down 'feast' into the quickly provided emergency receptacle, the triumphant Thai girls and women - satisfied and gratified, at seeing a job well done - jubilantly and joyously celebrated their ultimate victory ... and Offender Number 4's long-awaited, and eagerly anticipated misery, after showing such sterling, and unusually high resistance.

Jubilantly and joyously, they celebrated the outrageous Englishman's eye-watering, body heaving, stomach-emptying comeuppance; his eventual capitulation, at the soles of their purposefully unwashed, and deliberately-dirtied bare feet.

Now, these weekly proceedings having been successfully concluded, the Thai girls and women of Phut Suk Nou departed from the town square, and returned to their usual daily activities ... their fun was over, for another week.

Brendan, still unsteady and weak after having his faced vigorously sponged down with cold water, was hauled to his feet by the six officiating stern-faced, stern-voiced, ruthless and merciless cane-wielding female overseers.

And, with his wrists still tightly cable-tied behind his back, the fearsome females bundled Brendan into the back of a waiting van, ordered him to lie down on the floor, on his back ... and then climbed in after him, sitting three to each side of him on bench seats.

Upon which, they signalled the driver to go.

Go, to the airport, from where Brendan would be deported back to England, and banned from entering Thailand, ever again.

"Your belongings will be collected from your hotel, and sent on to you, in due course," one of the six escorting female overseers told Brendan, one of the two female overseers, who's bare brown soles were resting on his face; the undersides of her toes, deliberately cupping his nostrils.

"They might be a week or two, Mister Burrows," added the nose-cupping female overseer ... the one who spoke good English.

* * *

Two weeks later.

Already, Brendan was researching on the Internet. Because it paid to book early, and avoided disappointment.

With next year's holiday in mind, he was browsing the holiday company websites ... and he was looking for something, in particular. Somewhere, in particular.

Very particular.

He'd been reading up on the place, in his It's a Funny Old World travel guide.

Ah ... here it was: the little known, off-the-beaten-track South Korean resort, of Lik Mai Seoul.

Even with the 30% discount for an early booking, Brendan knew that, on his delivery driver's wages he would have to save hard, for his dream holiday.

He would have to set aside as much of his hard-earned cash, as possible. He would have to scrimp and save, and forego most of his usual little treats.

But, Brendan was sure, all of his sacrifices; all of his hard-saved money, all of his scrimping and saving, and all of his foregone little treats, would be worth it.

Would be worth it, oh yes.

Would be worth it, when he arrived in Lik Mai Seoul.

Because, according to what was so excitingly and graphically described, in his It's a Funny Old World travel guide, there was something very exciting, that took place in the town square.

Every Tuesday evening, in keeping with the local-law arbitrary justice system, local offenders were summarily brought before the girls and women of Lik Mai Seoul.

And, as a means of retribution, in the traditional, time-honoured, ritualistic ...

The End.