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Click hereWe paused there for a few brief but very long-seeming moments, and then we looked at one another, and I watched my beautiful bride's face reveal a similar storm of conflicting emotions as they were reflected across her countenance. If I could have come up with words to express myself at that moment to offer her any comfort, I would have. But neither of us could manage that feat for the other. The emotional currents were just sandblasting their way through our hearts and minds right then, too raw, too powerful, and too confusing to marshal into anything as inadequate as words.
Then, together we slowly and silently turned away from that terrible spot, and trembling slightly from the emotions swirling through us, walked slowly back to the room we occupied with Ryan the previous night to pray...and pray, and pray, and pray - and finally to talk together some, and await our collective fate.
- COMMENTS
Prolonged_Debut10over 7 years agoBecause now, I feel worse than a wimp. Bob
NATHANBRITTLESalmost 8 years agoGood story but the technical/medical jargon detracted away from the flow of the story and should be simplified for those of your readers (like myself) who are challenged by anything more complex than applying a bandage. A good start to a moving story.
Anonymousabout 9 years agoPowerful, sad and I do not want to know the end. Thank you for the emotions. Jim
Anonymousabout 9 years agoGet rid of them. You have a good sense of drama, which is weakened by lengthy explanatory asides. Writing is a trifle stilted, but looks like basic ear is there, so you could improve that.
