That's What Best Mates Are For

Right lads!

A short little tale, with little character build up, and no follow through, so if you chose to read on, then please don't complain about that.

No graphic sex ---- You've been warned.

Simply a little window into the lives of a couple and how one guy chose to deal with a problem he had.

Please read on ---- Please enjoy.

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"You all right Bill?"

It was my best mate Joe enquiring after my wellbeing, and deep down I knew he had reason to. It's just that I wasn't ready to talk about it yet. Not even to him.

"Yes Joe. I'm OK. Just a bit run down maybe."

"You're sure are you Bill?" He carried on with a concerned look. "You've not been acting yourself lately, and you seem to be down in the dumps all the time."

"I'm OK. Nothing wrong with me Joe that a few pints won't put right?" and with that I beckoned the landlord over and ordered another two pints of frothing ale.

My problem could wait till another time, especially since the Arsenal match was about to start on the pub telly, and my other mates from work were beginning to filter in to see the game.

Couple of hours and a good few pints later, the Gunners had put five past the Aston Villa goalkeeper, and for the rest of the evening my worries would be forgotten.

Not gone away you understand ---- Just postponed.

------------------

It was the following Thursday night, and Joe and I were having another pint in yet another pub, just down from the plant hire business were we both worked as mechanics. We'd been friends from our school days and had done our apprenticeships together, so it seemed natural that we'd ended up working alongside one another some sixteen years on.

"You still seem low mate," he started on at me again before we'd even downed the first pint. "It's not like you Bill --- Not like you at all."

"It's nothing Joe," I dismissed him.

"Come on Bill," he continued to press me. "You're not ill or anything are you?"

"No, it's nothing like that Joe," I assured him. "I'm physically well enough."

"You've got a problem then Bill. Is that it?"

"Not so much that I've got a problem Joe," I started to open up. "It's more that I'm worried that I might have a problem."

"Blimey mate," he smiled at me. "Bit deep all that sort of stuff for guys like us. You sure you're not worrying about nothing?"

"Probably," I agreed. "But ......?" I ended with sigh.

"Come on Bill. I can't help you if you won't talk to me about it. We are best mates after all."

"OK OK," I relented holding up my hands in defeat. "I suppose I've got to talk to someone or I'll go barmy."

"So what's the problem?" Joe pressed.

"Jean."

"Oh No. She's not ill or anything is she?" Joe reacted, having known my wife just about as long as I had. In fact we'd been together when I'd first met her nine years ago. I ended up with the pretty, slim little blonde with the nice legs, and Joe had got off with her friend with the rather odd red hair and huge tits. Joe had loved her and left her as it were, changing his women at that time nearly as often as he changed his shirt.

But not me!

I'd courted Jean for nearly two years, stealing her virginity somewhere along the way, and ended up marrying her. Joe was best man of course, and that very day pulled Anne, one of the bridesmaids, fell head over heels for her, and a year later I found myself returning the favour for him at the very same local church. Crafty sod that Joe though, and the fact that Anne, pretty though she undoubtedly was, came from a rich family by our meagre standards, may or may not have had anything to do with his earlier than anticipated domestication.

So there you are --- The potted history.

"No she's not ill or anything like that Joe," I carried on to him. "I don't really know how to put it to be honest. It sounds so unlikely."

"Try me mate," Joe encouraged me.

I pulled a face. This was not something that was easy to talk about, but I knew it had to be done.

"I think Jean may be ....... Well, you know Joe."

"No idea mate," he came back. "May be what?"

"Well you know," I mumbled into my pint.

"What she's pregnant?" Guessed Joe wrongly.

"No for Christ's sake," I croaked. "It's not that Joe. She's doing things."

"Doing what Bill," he demanded. "What the fuck are you on about mate?"

"Stepping out on me," I put it as delicately as I could.

"Stepping out Bill," Joe looked at me with an uncomfortable expression. "You mean ..... You mean she's playing the field. Playing away from home. Cheating on you?"

"I'm not sure Joe," I went on. "I've got no evidence as such, and she's no less loving or anything, but that's half the problem."

"How can that be a problem Bill?"

"Well, it's as if she's trying too hard all the time. Almost trying to act loving and normal. She backs off from arguments and she's never been like that before. Never ever refuses sex when I suggest it, and that certainly isn't normal."

"I think you might be jumping to conclusions here Bill," Joe advised me. "There could be all sorts of reasons."

"I know Joe," I agreed. "But I've just got this suspicion and it won't go away."

"Christ, that's difficult Bill. Have you tried to talk to her?"

"Tried to. Well sort of, but Jean simply changes the subject."

The two of us sat there nursing our pints, both with our own thoughts. I knew a bit more than I'd admitted, but even to Joe, I wasn't ready to open up that far yet.

"What you going to do mate?" Joe asked at length.

"Don't know," I confessed. "If I thought it was just a little fling or something, a one off, then I might, and I do mean might, learn to live with it. I couldn't let her know that I knew though, and she'd have to stop it herself and not just because I confronted her."

"Maybe she will stop Bill," Joe put in. "If she's actually doing anything that is of course."

"That's my problem Joe," I confessed. "How the hell do I warn her to stop, without her knowing that I know about it?"

"No idea Bill ---- No idea."

"Could Anne have a word with her do you think?" I asked. "You know put the frighteners on a bit. Tell her that she thinks I'm getting suspicious."

"Christ mate I doubt it. Them two are as thick as thieves."

I didn't say anything, but that was more or less the reply I had expected.

"How about you then Joe?" I ventured. "Could you have a word with Jean. You know casual like."

"Bloody hell Bill. What would I say? How would I even bring the subject up?"

"You could say that you're worried about me. Ask her if our marriage was all right. Things like that. You know, just put some worrying thoughts into her head. Maybe make her come to her senses."

"Well maybe I could Bill," Joe started to concede. "Lord knows what I'd say, but I could try."

"Thanks mate, you're a real pal," I smiled at him. "I feel a bit better already knowing you're there to help me. How about another pint?"

"It's OK, it's my round," Joe replied, getting up to get our glasses refilled.

"When could I do it though Bill," he questioned me when he came back. "I'd have to get Jean on her own wouldn't I, and that might be difficult?"

Now I'd thought about that! He wasn't going to wriggle out of it that easy.

"Well you're coming round Saturday afternoon to watch the match aren't you?"

"Of course," he grinned. "Arsenal -- Man U. Could be a cracker."

"Well I could make sure that I'm not there when you arrive. Make up some reason why I've had to pop out for an hour or two. You could even turn up a bit early and Jean would never suspect."

"Might work," Joe conceded at last. "Next Saturday eh?"

"Yer," I confirmed. "I'll make sure that I'll be gone for an hour or more. That should be long enough shouldn't it?"

"I guess so," my mate replied uncertainly, his face giving the clear picture that he wasn't looking forward to the confrontation in the least.

But that's what mates are for isn't it?

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The following Saturday saw me waiting impatiently for the clock to tick round. Jean was wandering around in her skintight jeans and tee shirt, her lovely slim tight body and pert tits a constant reminder of just what I could lose. She'd nigh on fucked the life out of me the night before, and we'd only been up and about for a couple of hours.

"Joe coming round for the match?" Jean asked.

"Yes," I answered. "He'll be around in half an hour or so."

"You men," Jean grinned at me, shrugging her shoulders. "All you think about is football."

Her shrug made her small but full breasts shake and sway, and she laughed out as she realised that they had caught my attention.

"And that as well of course," she giggled. "Football and tits ---- Football and tits. Bloody men."

We both laughed out loud.

"Who's that?" I asked of nobody in particular, taking my mobile from my pocket. With the advent of the silent telephone vibrator, I didn't even have to fake a ring.

"Oh damn it no," I spoke into the dead telephone. "Not on a Saturday afternoon."

I pretended to listen to what I was being told over the phone, Jean's attention caught for the moment.

"OK," I again spoke into the dead mouthpiece. "I know it's got to be done, and I'll be there in about twenty minutes."

"What's up honey?" Jean demanded. "Was that work?"

"Yes," I nodded to her. "JCB broke down on one of the sites. Easy fix, but I'll have to go."

"But you'll miss the match Bill," was my wife's first concern.

"Only the beginning," I assured her. I'll be back in less than a couple of hours, so I should get at least the second half."

"What about Joe?"

"Oh he'll be here in twenty minutes or so Jean," I told her, my plan falling nicely into place. With any luck by later that night, my marital problems could be on their way to being resolved. "Give him a beer and tell him I'll see him a bit later."

"OK honey," my wife smiled at me lovingly. "Hurry up back."

I kissed her, and she kissed me back enthusiastically, making me wonder if my suspicions were all false. I did hope so.

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I noisily slipped out of the house, reminding my wife to look after Joe, and make sure he didn't run out of beer. Leaping into my car, I accelerated steadily down our road towards the site in question.

The one I had invented of course!

I doubled back and parked just behind my house, a nice little place that we had rented for the last four or five years or so. I got out of the car, walked through my back garden and went back in through the back door, unable to hide my smile as I heard my gorgeous wife Jean singing to the tune playing on the television.

Believe you me ---- I wanted to hear the way Joe dealt with this problem!

Creeping up to the first floor, I quietly slid out into the corridor, and then to the Mezzanine that overlooked the lounge, making sure that my digital camera was still in my pocket. I waited, but not for long. The doorbell sounded, and Jean leapt up with a smile on her face and disappeared out into the hallway. Quite why she and Joe took so long to reappear back into the lounge I don't know, and wouldn't care to speculate about. However when they reappeared, my best friend Joe had his arm around my wife's waist.

Well! ------ Just fancy that.

"What do you mean Bill suspects something?" My loving wife said to my best friend, apparently carrying on a conversation the start of which I had missed.

"We're really going to have to cool it Jean," replied Joe sliding his hand up from her waist, till it cupped her breast.

"But he couldn't possibly suspect Joe," Jean continued. "I've been so careful to carry on so absolutely normally."

'That's the problem Jean. Bill's no fool you know."

"But I've never refused him sex. We fuck more now than we have done for years," she protested. "Between the two of you, you're damn well exhausting me."

"Trust me Jean he suspects, and if we keep on fucking one another twice a week like we have for the last six months, then we're going to get caught out."

"But how will he catch us?" Jean objected. "We've got away with it so far and neither Bill or Anne have any idea."

"I wouldn't be too sure about that Jean," Joe retorted. "I'm sure Anne has no idea, but Bill has smelt a rat."

Oh God Joe," my wife, the apple of my eye said to him. "I don't know if I can live without that cock of yours honey. I love Bill, I really do, but the way you fuck me."

"What's the time Jean? How long have we got?"

Here it comes, I thought with a smile on my face. It couldn't have worked out better if I'd planned it. But then again of course, that's exactly what I'd done, wasn't it?

I watched with disgust as Joe undressed my wife, stripping her naked except for her high heels --- Well at least he had taste. By God she looked gorgeous, she really did. I'd miss her of course, but I'd known that for some time.

I have to say, that watching Joe strip off just didn't hold the same appeal ---- No, not at all. Big cocks like his did nothing for me in the least.

I clicked away with my digital camera, congratulating myself at my little subterfuge. Of course I'd known for several weeks what the pair of them were up to, ever since Joe's wife Anne had alerted me to their relationship.

But how to catch them? That was the question.

Neither of us had been able to actually catch them at it, and there, here and now, with a little bit of trickery, the pair of them were merrily fucking away, while I, albeit a little less happily, snapped away with the camera. Anne and I had talked about employing a private investigator, but people like me don't do things that way.

Christ, I was only a plant mechanic and couldn't afford anything like that, but fortunately there they were providing me with all the evidence I would ever need.

Job well done!

But then it got better.

The pair of them disappeared off into the downstairs bedroom. Thoughtful of my wife to use the spare room really. Nice to think that she didn't screw him in our marital bed.

Thank you Jean dear!

Sneaking down the stairs, I gathered up Joe's clothes, and piled them into the dustbin, and then rang Anne, who was waiting for my call, I gave her the good news of our unexpected bonus.

I waited ---- About ten minutes, just about long enough for the pair of them to get into it, and for Anne to arrive outside in her car.

"Hi Jean," I announced into my mobile when she answered my call, somewhat breathlessly. "Easier fix than I thought and I'm on my way home."

"No hurry honey," she exclaimed in panic. "I don't think the match has started yet."

"No matter," I replied. "I'm only about ten minutes away. Ask Joe to pour me a beer will you?"

"A beer?"

"Yes a beer sweetheart. Is that such a problem?"

I could imagine the panic ---- the confusion. Then they both burst back into the lounge below me, Jean grabbing at her clothes and struggling into them, while poor Joe rushed around in a panic, naked as a Jay bird while he desperately searched for his.

"Where are my clothes for fuck sake?" he screamed at Jean. "What the hell have you done with them you stupid cow."

"Don't call me a stupid cow you idiot," she shouted back at him as she pulled her panties up. "I haven't moved them."

"What am I going to do?" Joe shouted back at her in a temper. "It's all your bloody fault. He can't catch me like this."

"Use your brains you pathetic idiot," Jean replied, also losing her temper and making heavy weather of getting her tee shirt over her head. "Go and find some of Bill's things to put on."

"Are you brain dead woman?" Joe ranted. "Are you fucking brain dead? I weigh six stone more than Bill does, so how the hell would I fit into his things."

True I thought to myself. Joe might have a bigger cock than me but he'd put an awful lot of weight on in the last few years.

"Well you shouldn't be such a fat bastard then," Jean responded as she struggled to get her super tight jeans back on. "You nigh on kill me when you get on top of me."

Grinning, I made my way back out of the house, and went round to the front door, leaving them arguing, calling one another every name under the sun, and one or two that maybe weren't.

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"Hi honey," I greeted her, noting that Joe had disappeared back into the spare bedroom, no doubt having heard me open the front door. "Where's Joe?"

"He's not here," claimed Jean in desperation, tucking her tee shirt into her jeans, the fact that it was back to front having escaped her notice.

"But his car is still outside Jean," I pointed out.

"Well he's been here, but he's had to pop out."

"Pop out? ----- Pop out ------ Pop out for what?"

"Beer," Jean mumbled. "That's it honey, we needed more beer."

"But we've gallons of the bloody stuff honey," I delighted in teasing her.

"No it wasn't beer he went for," she garbled away her face going red. "It was .... That is .... He's gone for ....."

"Some clothes perhaps?" I ventured.

"Clothes," she repeated, nearly choking on the words.

"Yes clothes Jean," I repeated. "I guess poor Joe would be needing some clothes."

Jean made a strangled sound that I couldn't understand.

"Where is he Jean," I demanded with a grin of victory. "Where is the bastard? --- The guy who is supposed to be my best friend."

She just stood there shaking her head in misery, not knowing what to say or do.

"Never mind sweetheart," I continued on a roll. "Look here comes Anne with some clothes for him."

"Anne?" Jean whispered nervously. "What's she doing here? Why is she bringing some clothes for Joe."

"Not just some clothes sweetheart," I informed my cheating wife. "All of them ---- The whole bloody lot, and she'll be dumping them on the lawn outside in the next few minutes."

She didn't understand poor, silly cow. I had to explain that Anne had arrived with all Joe's clothing and immediate belongings, and that from then on he no longer lived at their rather nice house.

"But where will he live honey?"

Stupid bleeding question!

"Well he'll live here I guess Jean," I told her. "You'll need someone else to help you pay the rent."

"But ..... But ..... But, what about you?"

"Oh I'm off to live with Anne," I told her. "No idea if it'll work out, but I'll have a better idea tomorrow after I've spent the night fucking her."

"Oh nooooo!" Jean cried.

"Oh yes!" I contradicted her. "And you can fuck Joe as much as you want."

"But he snores Bill," Jean complained. "He's over weight and smells of body odour as well half the time."

"Now isn't that strange Jean," I enjoyed telling her. "That's exactly what Anne told me."

"But I don't love him Bill," Jean cried out in tears. "I love you."

"Well there's another coincidence Jean," I informed her. "I used to love you too!"

"But ...."

"Sorry Jean," I cut her short. "I've got a hot woman waiting for me."

And with that, I walked out on her, my stuff already packed, into my new life, and into my ex best friend's wife as well, for that matter.

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That's it ----- Finished.

Bill lived happily ever after, and the baddies had a terrible time.