That's What Friends Are For Ch. 02

That's What Friends Are For (Part Deux - Marianne)

By

Chagrined

Since I was threatened with having my keyboard magically imbued with Chinese characters, I decided to go ahead and divulge what my "friend" Steve, would have said to the Lady Marianne. You will remember that this is just a little mind game I have undergone using the great Ohio's story, House of Cards.

I have long noticed that while many authors have "friends" in the story, they either help the offending character or they are pretty much kept in the background. I feel that in real life, friends need to step up and be neither mindless wallpaper nor enablers. This is my attempt to remedy that.

Again, I ask that you read Ohio's piece (it is a good one) and then come back here and see my interpretation of friendship. You may agree or you may not, but here Steve will continue to outline possibilities and consequences. Like, Subscribe and Comment.

*****

The venue for my talk with Marianne was very to be different. With Tom I wanted a neutral "good ol' boy", two guys having a drink atmosphere. Men respond better than way. But with Marianne I wanted a venue homey feel. I wanted her to feel safe, so I insisted my wife, Adele, be in attendance. I didn't want Marianne to think she was being ganged up on and I believed that Adele's presence would give Marianne a little moral support. We invited Marianne over for an afternoon coffee.

Marianne arrived at just 2pm. Adele and I were in the back sitting on lawn chairs. Marianne wasn't looking too good. It was easy to see she had been crying, the puffiness of her face and eyes were proof of that. She walked a little more slowly than usual, her springy step was gone.

Adele rose up and met Marianne halfway. "Hi, sweetie. How are you hanging in?"

Marianne smiled wanly. "Day by day. It's tough. You know Tom moved out, but we still talk. I just don't know how to reach him. Or myself. I don't know why I did it."

I couldn't help myself. I took a red handkerchief and tossed it out on the small garden table. "Do you know what this is, Marianne?"

She regarded the cloth. "Looks like a red, what do they call them? Bandana. A red bandana."

At that moment my wife came back bringing our coffees. Without a word, she set them down each in front of the proper recipient. "She took her seat and smiled. She gave me 'the look' - the look that reminded me that she would not tolerate any bullying from me. I nodded in acknowledgement and continued.

"No, Marianne, this is a flag, a BS flag. I plan to toss it out whenever I hear some to flag your play. You know why you did it even if you won't admit it even to yourself." I took a sip of coffee and said, "Marianne, you and Tom are two of our best friends if not the best. And right now, you two are on some very shaky ground. And if you don't resolve this you are going to headed right for divorce court. Is that what you want?"

"NO! Tom is my life. I don't know what I would do with him!" She cried.

Adele sat up and placed her hand over her friends in a comforting move. "If only I could make tom see that is wasn't anything he did or failed to do. The blame is all mine," Marianne sobbed.

Adele said," Why don't you tell us what happened and we kind see if there is a way out," my wife urged.

She did. She relayed how they had met, how she had comforted him, met again in November, and during a drunken encounter, had sex in the alley. She had known it would never happen again and so she felt that telling he husband, Tom, would accomplish nothing. After repeated encounters, oddly seemingly contrived, she and Eddie, as she called him, began a full-fledged affair with all the accompanying messiness. For the discerning reader, all of this is recounted elsewhere so I will gloss over particulars. Suffice to say, that at one point she answered her own question of why she did it.

"Marianne, may I interrupt for a moment?" I asked. "You said that when you and Eddie started to go hot and heavy, you felt good about being a woman nearly 40 who was being courted, for lack of a gentler word, by a man 10 years younger. And you said you liked it. Right? Well, I think we have just discovered how you let this get out of hand. You liked it. Great sex at a time when you are reaching your sexual peak, Tom doesn't know so there is no risk to your marriage, you are still having a good relationship with your husband, your kids still respect you - there is no downside. You said yourself Tom would never know, never be left sloppy seconds, never denied anything. No risk. So why would you stop?"

She thought for a moment. "You may be right."

"Just something to think over. But you had to know that this couldn't go on. Eventually Tom or someone would discover your other husband and there would be repercussions."

"HE WAS NOT MY OTHER HUSBAND, STEVE!", she yelled. Adele was a bit taken aback by her vehemence.

"Oh, I beg to differ, Marianne. That is exactly the role he played. Think about it. Eddie is fresh, new, no negative memories attached. No arguments, no nights spent brooding over some slight. No struggles over money, no sick days. Just day after bright day, meeting after meeting of pleasant memories, laughter, and romantic getting to know one another, punctuated by mind blowing sex feeding your ego. And Tom would never know, except now he does. He would never be denied anything from you except participation in the loving memories you made with Eddie. That, and his wife and the marriage you had built together."

"I never meant for him to know. Tom was never supposed to find out. I was so careful to keep what Eddie and I did from interfering with Tom and I. Eddie was never in our home. I would never disrespect Tom like that."

I leaned back. I took another drink from my cup and glanced at Adele. She was sitting there, quietly sharing in the pain she knew her friend was feeling. As for me, I tossed the bandana on the table again.

"I gotta flag 'Bullshit' again, Marianne." I said harshly.

"Steve," Adele warned, "ease up. Can't you see she is tearing herself up inside?"

"No, Addie, I can't see that!" I turned to Marianne. "I have to wonder where you get off making all these subtle distinctions, how you can parse what has happened so finely. Marianne, I don't know how you can't see that the minute you let Eddie have you in that alley, IN AN ALLEY FOR CHRIST'S SAKE, indeed when you first kissed, in fact, when you held him in your arms to console him, you let him into your and Toms marriage so that it was no longer you, Tom and the kids, but you, Tom, the kids, your in-laws and Eddie!"

"How can you say that, Steve? Why are you being so mean? I never brought Tom or the kids into Edie and I's time together. And Eddie knew that he was separate. That I would never leave Tom, the man I love and married. And I would do anything to have spared Tom the pain I know I have caused him."

I looked her in eye and said," Except keep your legs together."

I cut her off, "Adele, if they are going to have any chance of having a marriage, of any sort, there are some things that Marianne is going to have to come to grips with. Like no matter how many times you tell him it wasn't something he did, he is still going to wonder if he could have done something differently to avoid this," I interjected turning my head back to Marianne. "And you don't get points for not bringing him into the home. You let him in your life, body and marriage. Not bringing him to your marital bed is about the only place he hadn't been. "

Marianne now looked at me with new eyes. "Boy, you really go for the jugular, don't you?"

I raised my eyebrows. "You think that that is the jugular? Marianne, I have to say that until the revelations you disclosed today, I was ready to give you a pass. But and I hope this doesn't cost me my marriage, I really must see you in a different light. Let me ask a question. You said that you jumped through hoops to not be seen, not be recognized, go here and there to avoid detection. That tells me that at some level you knew, you knew that what you were doing was wrong. It would hurt Tom and your family which you admit you were not ready to lose. Ma'am, did you ever think of just stopping, just calling an end to the games and quit? Quit before it was too late, like it is now?"

Marianne was weeping again. I looked at Adele and noticed than when before she was openly sympathetic to her friend's agony and quilt, I saw less of it. Adele face was set, waiting for the answer.

"Of course, I did. Ii tried every time we met. But, by that time there were things I thought I needed from Eddie that Tom couldn't provide. I just wasn't strong enough," she sobbed.

"Well, you are going to have to get some strength now, both to hear what I am saying and to act on it."

I scooted closer and took her hand. "Listen, we don't know yet how all of this is going to play out. But there is something you must know going in: your marriage, as you knew it is over. I said this to Tom when we spoke and now, I am telling you. "

"But I don't want it to be over," she objected.

"Marianne, what do you want?"

She frustrated, "I want my life back. I want a do over. I want to not make the terrible mistake of hurting the man I love so badly he couldn't stand being in the same house as me."

I leaned back in my chair. "Yes, well if that is the case you can want in one hand and shit in the other and see which fills faster. What you did killed that marriage. The trust Tom had in you is gone as well as a lot of the belief and confidence he had in himself. No, what do you want going forward? Eddie is out of the picture?"

"Totally. I never plan t see him again. I am going to concentrate on making it up to Tom for all the pain I have caused him."

Adele chirped in," You can't, and you know it. The best you can do is rebuild a new one."

She's right," I agreed. "When you and Eddie started your affair, you torched the marriage you had. The trust is gone, the integrity, the shared values and beliefs, all went up in smoke. What we need to hope and pray for is that at least enough of the love, not the dependency, remains that you can rebuild a foundation. If so, you have a shot."

"So, what should I do?" she asked.

Marianne rose and prepared to leave. "It kills me that I have done so much harm: I've hurt Tom, my marriage, my kids. How can I make it right?"

I shook my head. "You can't. You can forge a way ahead, but the damage is done. If your lucky you and Tom can find a way through this and maybe have a better life. This is one of the reasons we have the 'forsaking all other' clause in the marriage vows. "I stood and kissed her cheek. "If anyone can find a way through this, I think it is you and Tom. But don't ever, ever see Eddie again," I smiled.

"You don't have to worry about that!" Marianne promised.

Adele held out her hand. "Come on, I'll walk you to the car." Together they went into the house.

I didn't know if any of this busy bodying would make any difference. But I had watched Tom become frozen and ineffective in finding a solution to the crisis and Marianne caught up trying to reignite a marriage that was dead. The kids would be walking right into a mess which they did not deserve.

That is the real trouble with trust, once it is gone, it is gone. At least in the current form. People can rebuild but not until the burnt-out debris of the old marriage has been dug through can a new relationship be started. The betrayal was not just against Tom, it was also against the family, the children and the years of memories Tom and Marianne had built together. How could I be so sure? Well, let's just say that I have not always been the paragon of righteousness I pretended. Fortunately, I live with a woman who could forgive and help build a new marriage.

I wished the same for Tom and Marianne.