She lets herself into the apartment and drops her things in Lauren's bedroom. With an hour or so left before Lauren gets home, Maddy draws herself a warm bath. When the idea strikes her, she goes through the medicine cabinet and finds a ladies razor and some shaving cream. In the bath, she shaves herself down to bare skin between her legs, and when she runs her fingers over it, it is smooth and silky.
Out of the bathtub, she dries herself but doesn't bother getting dressed, only slips on the new thong. She never wears these things and suddenly understands why, trying to imagine keeping it only all day long like some of the girls. But it serves its purpose now, which is to make her feel sexy as hell. She stands at the mirror in Lauren's bedroom, long black hair down, examining herself. She turns, stands on tiptoes, examines her ass, which is completely exposed in this thing. It looks amazing. She turns back, cradles her breasts in her arms. Fabulous.
By now, she's almost as horny as she's ever been in her life. It suddenly occurs to her that being a single adult woman, Lauren may have a vibrator or dildo or some kind of toy here somewhere. Maddy has never used any of these things, but now seems like the right time for the first time. She paws shamelessly through Lauren's things looking for something, anything, but finds nothing. In the final drawer, Lauren's underwear drawer, Maddy finds herself in the grip of a new appetite.
She removes a pair of Lauren's panties, and without any thought for the dignity she's tried to retain her whole life, holds the panties to her nose. Too clean, of course, they'll all be too damn clean. She tosses the panties, doesn't bother closing the drawer. For a moment, she feels like a jungle cat prowling for some kind of meat, and god damn it, she likes it. She opens the door to the bedroom closet, hoping Lauren hasn't done laundry since yesterday, and she's in luck. She dumps the laundry basket and finds the pair of pink panties Lauren had been wearing a few days ago when they had first been together. Maddy turns the inside out, holds the crotch to her nose and inhales deeply. This is the drug she has been looking for all along.
She drops to her knees in front of the mirror now, panties in one hand held to her nose, the other hand in her own panties, stroking herself feverishly. She inserts one finger, then two, savoring her reflection in the mirror, enjoying the motion of her own fingers pressing in and out of herself, barely masked by the thin black strip of the thong. Her hips still hypnotically thrusting forward and back on her own hand, and loves it, loves watching her self because yes, she is a little slut, yes, she can't get enough and yes, she's sexy and delicious and dirty.
Removing her fingers, she uses Lauren's panties to get herself off, rubbing the cotton cloth on her pussy, her juices soaking into the panties, mingling her scents with Lauren's. She comes hard and fast and violently, hips jerking spasmodically, mouth open, a thin rivulet of drool running from the corner of her mouth, which she shamelessly wipes away with Lauren's wet, soiled panties. When she's able to stand again on watery legs, she drops the garment in the middle of Lauren's bed like a token with which she claims her territory.
She thinks Violetta had been right; she is different and she loves it. She knows now she can go back and forth between the girly-girl and the filthy, sex-crazed little minx without feeling guilty, and she loves this, too. Yes, she is different, but deep down she is the same. It makes her feel strong and confident, more than she ever has in her entire life. She feels now like she can do anything. She feels like a fighter and a lover at the same time. And she will need to be.
By the time Lauren returns, Maddy has applied a liberal amount of makeup to her face, just enough to put her in the ballpark of slutty. The heels add another two inches on her height. When Lauren walks in the door, it is an almost unrecognizable Maddalena Eastman she sees sitting cross-legged and bare-chested on her sofa. Lauren's mouth drops open, the bag she is carrying drops to the floor.
'Welcome home, sweetheart,' Maddy purrs.
'Oh my god, you look too sexy to be for real,' Lauren says. She reaches into the bag and pulls out a bottle. 'I brought us wine.'
'Ooh, now honey,' Maddy says, putting and extra pout on her ruby red lips. She stands, stretching to her full height in the heels, and saunters over to Lauren, who looks up at her, eyes wide. 'You know I'm not old enough to drink. You wouldn't... take advantage, would you?'
Lauren is completely speechless as she brazenly eyes Maddy up and down. Maddy is excited, but her heart is strong and steady in her chest. She has never imagined she could be this powerful, this utterly sexy, to anyone.
'Would you?' she repeats.
'Would I what?'
'Take advantage of me.'
'God, yes.'
'Good.' Maddy smiles. She leans down—yes, she has to lean down to do this—and kisses Lauren softly, only caressing her lips with her own, trying not to smudge her lipstick. That would come later, as she promises to leave lipstick marks everywhere on Lauren's body.
'I've been waiting for you all night,' Maddy says.
'Looks like you made quite a little mess here,' Lauren says with a little smile curling the edge of her mouth.
'I was looking for... toys.'
'I don't have any toys, but I went and got some while I was out.' Lauren glances down at the bag. 'I don't even know what some of this stuff does, to be honest with you.'
'We're two smart and resourceful girls, I'm sure we can figure it out with a little practice. It doesn't matter right now, though, because first I need you to do something for me.'
'Anything, baby,' Lauren says. 'Do I need to take off my clothes, too?'
'Not yet. I'm sorry, this is your fault for making me wait, so I need you to do this for me.'
'Anything, I'll do anything for you.'
'Lie down on the sofa, please.'
Lauren does as she is told, propping her head up slightly on a pillow. Maddy comes to stand beside her, looks down at her. She notices that Lauren can't take her eyes off Maddy's long, long legs and the black thong between them. Maddy is not offended; sure, she's got great breasts, but she knows her legs are fantastic.
'You have the most gorgeous legs I've ever seen,' Lauren says as if reading her thoughts, 'and... you shaved, didn't you?'
'I did. I used your razor. I hope that's okay.'
'It's totally sexy is what it is. Can I see?'
'You want me to take these off?'
'No,' Lauren says.
Maddy pushes close to the sofa and raises her left leg, high-heel and all, and plants her foot on the arm of the sofa next to Lauren's head. In this position, Lauren's face is only inches from her crotch, so close she can feel Lauren's breath on every exhale. Maddy reaches down and peels the fabric of the little panties to one side.
'So beautiful,' Lauren whispers, running her fingertips softly against the smooth flesh, not pressing, only teasing.
'And now I have you right where I want you.'
'Says you,' Lauren says, running her fingers back between Maddy's thighs and brushing lightly against her anus. Maddy releases a melodious sigh and presses back greedily against Lauren's fingers. 'Maybe this is how I planned it all along, little girl, to make you wait until you were absolutely crazy.' Lauren whispers so close that Maddy can feel goose bumps rise on her freshly shaven skin, and she shudders. 'Make you wait, and then come home and—' she flickers a tongue against Maddy skin, '—drive you absolutely crazy until you broke.'
'Anybody ever tell you,' Maddy says with a moan, 'you talk too fucking much?'
Lauren remedies this quickly. She buries her face between Maddy's thighs, and without any words at all, she lets her tongue speak volumes.
To say it was a blissful weekend would be an understatement. And I hesitate to write more about it, readers, knowing what you and I—and now Violetta Eastman—know about Lauren McClaren, that she will not survive the outcome of our story. I hesitate to tell you that, at least a little bit and perhaps a lot, Maddalena Eastman fell in love on that weekend. Perhaps she was in love already. But she became a woman on that weekend. And it is of utter importance to tell you that she became a witch on that weekend. Not the kind of wart-nosed hag you see on Halloween, not a thing of myth and legend, but a woman of true knowledge and power.
She will need it. Oh, she will very much need it. And Lauren gave it to her. After this day, we'll not hear much from her, because life is a thief and it always steals away what we love the most.
Doesn't it?
On Sunday morning, Maddy lays in bed. She can hear Lauren in the little kitchenette preparing breakfast, and sure enough, she's starving. It has been a weekend of pure physicality, plain and simple. It has been a weekend of lust and yearn, and fulfillment and joy. And does she feel different? Of course she does; she feels light and elegant and sexy, maybe sexy above all. But she also feels strong, and while it may just be a side effect of her newly found self-confidence, it is still there. Strength. Power.
Lauren had sucked her dry, broken her down and then built her up again, over and over. Even the very first orgasm had been a headbuster, Lauren's merciless tongue thrashing inside her even as she came. She doesn't know how late they were up entertaining each other Friday night. When they had finally made it to the bed, Lauren had laughed about Maddy's little indiscretion, the dirty panties in her bed. She had laughed, and still she had stripped down, slipped the panties on and made Maddy pleasure her through the soiled fabric. Made... as if Maddy hadn't been a completely willing participant.
Maddy rolls onto her back, the sheet pulling away and a strip of morning sunlight falling across her breasts, making her nipples tingle with the heat. She sighs loudly because she is happy, very much so, and yet deep down inside her, there's a kind of urgency roiling in her stomach. It's not urgency for sexual fulfillment because she has had more than her fair share of that this weekend.
No, her urgency, as far as she can tell, is for more time. Every moment of this weekend has felt fleeting, as if she is in school in the middle of a test, feeling the clock ticking away the final moments. Feeling that once it stops, it's too late. It has been a lustful and torrid affair, filled with moments of real love and tenderness, but she thinks that that is all it has been. An affair. When she stops to ask herself the big question—when the affair is over, what then?—she has no answer. Is there a forever or a happily ever after between an eighteen year-old high school girl and a thirty-something single mother? If there is, she can't think of it. There is no answer to what then.
She doesn't think she is alone in this line of doubt, either. Lauren, sweet as she may be, beautiful as she may be, is a long way from stupid, and possessed of a kind of scary common sense. Maddy is certain that she is in the other room this very moment, having this same conversation, this same struggle, in her head. The only difference being that Lauren is the one who has to go pick up her eleven year old son, her special needs son, later this evening. The answers to those questions, as well as the lack of answers, will fall more heavily on Lauren.
Lauren slips quietly back into the bedroom and smiles when she sees Maddy awake. That sadness, the underneath sadness, is back in her smile.
'Good morning, love,' Lauren says, and all at once the tone of her voice hurts Maddy's heart.
'Hey,' Maddy says, 'you look sad again.'
'Do I?'
'Mm-hmm.'
Lauren sits down on the side of the bed, strokes her fingers across Maddy's breasts, tracing the contours with her fingertips.
'Too much thinking, I guess,' Lauren says.
'Me too. About what?'
Lauren sighs a wavering breath and seems unable to look Maddy in the eyes, keeping her own eyes focused on Maddy's chest. 'Thinking about how I could be happy doing this forever,' she says, 'but we can't. About how unfair it is. I've only been truly in love twice in my life, first with Jake's father who was taken away from me. And now with you, and I have to let you go.'
'I don't understand why.'
'I think you do, actually. I'd be willing to bet it's what you've been in here thinking about.'
Maddy doesn't answer, and imagines that it's all the answer Lauren needs. Lauren tries to smile again, but a single tear swells out of her eye and drops on the skin of Maddy's belly.
'Don't cry, sweetie,' Maddy says, 'we still have today. And it's not like we'll never see each other ever again. I mean, I can still come here, can't I? You—you haven't taught me everything, have you?' She can hear the sudden panic in her voice, and she is afraid that her concurrence is leading Lauren to remove Maddy from her life entirely. Maddy thinks she can live without the sex, but can she live without seeing those eyes on her own, or smelling Lauren's scent. Is this what love is, obsession with all these little parts?
'No,' Lauren says, 'I haven't taught you everything, and of course you'll be welcome here any time you want.' She kisses the smooth skin of Maddy's belly. 'You'll be welcome in my bed anytime you want, too. I'm just trying to prepare myself for... when you go. Anyway, I have something to show you today that might change a lot.'
'It won't change the way I feel about you.'
'I know that,' Lauren says, 'but it will change everything else.'
Chapter 16
Lauren... Lauren... this name, Violetta thought, meant something much more than just some friend or ex-lover of Maddy's. The name by itself evoked a particular feeling inside of her, something she could not put her finger on. It was, perhaps, a remnant of something she had picked up from Maddy without realizing it. Maddy's mind was incredibly well-guarded these days, and with Violetta out of practice, she thought it would be close to impossible to get anything from her without her permission. Still, Maddy's mind was only a human mind, and every human mind gives up its secrets now and again, even if only in short bursts. If Lauren was as important to Maddy as Violetta suspected, and she had died, there simply had to be some stray thoughts or emotions in Maddy's mind, especially so close on the heels of the death of another loved one.
Violetta wound her way slowly through downtown, approaching the address Jeff Van Owen had gotten for her, but doing so deliberately, stopping at random stores, window shopping. Part of her, a large part, felt very stupid, not even able to imagine who could be watching her, or why. But at the same time, knowing that she was being watched by somebody, having that awful feeling of eyes on her all the time. Knowing that someone near her was very crazy or very dangerous or both.
She had considered calling Tommy—he had an office in town—because of the bits of information she had gotten from him, because of her feeling that he wanted her to know something. She did not because she felt she had no right to ask anything of him. He had been Maddy's life-long friend, he had trusted her with his secrets for years, and now he was trying to do the same for Maddy. It would be shameful for Violetta to violate that kind of trust in any way for the sake of her own curiosity.
Violetta could do this on her own, or would have to in any case. When it came down to it, she had Jeff, three thousand miles away doing research for her, and Jason, who seemed even more lost and frightened in all of this than she was. What a crew they made. And here she was, their leader, their Mata Hari, trying her best to play some kind of spy. At least she was no longer alone in her paranoia.
Trying to blend in with the few daytime wanderers, she turned the corner onto Darlington Street, one of the main roads through downtown. The address Jeff had found was 99 ½ Darlington which was not a street facing address but an alley entrance. She slipped along the facing buildings on the even side of the street, allowing her eyes to scan the numbers on the opposite side behind her shades. She counted down, cursing herself for not being more familiar with this town which used to be her home, for—
A man grunted as she ran into him, paying more attention to the other side of the road than her own. A kind of artificial 'oomph' escaped his mouth, a comic book sounding word that seemed entirely unnecessary because she could tell she had not budged the man. It was similar to running into Tommy in the store the other day, and her heart quickened when she thought it might be him.
It wasn't. The man standing before her was not a tower, he was only as tall as she was. He was quite handsome, though, with pale skin like hers, black hair, and somehow haunting black eyes. He could have been her age, he could have been younger, but he held himself with a kind of dignity befitting an older man in spite of the collision.
'Oh, excuse me,' Violetta said.
'Quite alright,' the man said, 'only an accident. Funny who you can run into on the street, isn't it?'
Violetta frowned at this comment. 'Do I know you?' And now that she really looked at him, she felt as if she had seen him somewhere before. His good looks were rugged, and while he was not a big man, he was lean and solid. He was dressed plainly in a grey hooded sweatshirt, cargo pants and heavy black shore boots. And by God, did he seem familiar.
'No,' he answered, 'we are strangers to each other. Although I wish that were not the case; you are quite beautiful.'
Violetta decided that this man was a little too strange to take this as a compliment, and it certainly sounded creepy coming out of his mouth. His voice held a slight permanent warble which she could live with, but his accent and diction were like none she had ever heard before, and Los Angeles in particular was home to all kinds.
'Well... thank you,' was all she said.
'Can I help you find something?' he asked. 'I'm quite familiar with this area, you see. I've been around... a long time.' His lip curled slightly in a smile, though she did not know why, and revealed slightly blackened teeth that really put a dent in his good looks.
'Uh, no, I'm just looking around. On vacation.' The words sounded stupid coming out of her mouth, and a bemused look came over the man's face. She noticed that he carried with him a kind of strange, musty odor she did not like at all.
'Are you in town for long?'
'No, no, I'm from L.A. Flying back tomorrow.' She had a funny feeling he was trying to ask her out, and wanted to kill that awkward possibility before it could occur.
'A shame, really. Well, you enjoy your vacation, Miss.' He nodded at her politely then slipped by, the stink growing strong and cloying for a moment and then dissipating. It was what she imagined a shipwreck might smell like after sitting for decades on the ocean floor and then being raised. Rotten and salty and disgusting. She thought the man must work at the docks, and was glad he was gone.
She shook off the creepy encounter—how many thousands of those had she had in L.A., after all?—and moved on, this time keeping an eye in front of her, realizing that her cloak and dagger antics must be making her so much more conspicuous. She had already ruined any stealth she may have had by running into a stranger, so she crossed the street and approached the alley.
There was an iron gate across the entrance, but it was unlocked. She took one last glance up and down the street, keeping a keen eye out for the strange man, and saw no one. The street seemed oddly empty, so she stepped into the alley, cringing as the gate issued a loud, metallic groan behind her. The alley was cloaked in shadow against the midday sun, and Violetta was thankful to be off the street, feeling less exposed here. She stood back from the brick wall of the building, having had enough of the slinking thief routine, and found the door marked 99 ½.