The Actress

I met Jackie on an internet dating site. I wasn't sure why she was using the site as she was in a pretty heavy relationship despite the fact she was going through a messy divorce. She was a 35 year old who ran her own small theatre group that went in to schools and educated kids through the mediums of drama, dance and singing. She had been lead singer in a group which had enjoyed a little success around the live gig circuit and done some acting, small parts in made for TV dramas. Running her own business gave her the independence she seemed to thrive on, though she did see herself as mainly an actress.

Perhaps because I was going through my own divorce at the time we struck up a good friendship and regularly exchanged emails, but we did not meet as I was dating on and off and Jackie's situation meant she wasn't looking for anything more than friendship.

Our exchanges covered many topics and would often be quite frank about our lives, loves and relationships. Jackie had been married to an overly possessive man who was some 12 years older than she was. They had a daughter together who was now 2 years old and the marriage disintegrated shortly after the birth.

Through our emails we learned about each other in a way that you wouldn't do if picking someone up at a bar or club. There was no pressure on either of us to impress the other and we could both support each other through moments of vulnerability brought about by our relative situations.

After a few months I was coming to the end of a short relationship with a teacher. I had moved in to her house which was close to my place of work but she was becoming increasingly jealous of time I was spending with my children on a weekend who were then 17 and 19 years old. She would complain that instead of sitting and waiting for me to get back to her place on a Sunday afternoon she could be off doing other things with other people. This came about because on a couple of occasions I was less than an hour later back to her house than I had said I would be.

I could feel the relationship was coming to an end as I felt increasingly suffocated by the situation and wanted to be free. My own divorce had recently been finalized but the teacher, despite being separated from her estranged husband for five years was not divorced.

During one heated debate about commitment I found myself arguing in a way that with hindsight could have backfired. It was a Sunday afternoon and I was 30 minutes late home.

"Where have you been," the teacher asked me.

"You know, with the kids," I retorted, irritated at her attitude given I was only a little later than expected.

"Well, I could have gone out this afternoon instead of sitting here on my backside waiting for you to grace me with your presence. You are so selfish,'' she complained, stomping off to the kitchen before calling back, "and I don't think you are committed to this relationship at all!"

I followed her and couldn't stop myself from replying, "Selfish? I'm selfish and I am not committed? Well, what about you? You aren't even divorced. It may be five years since you left your husband but you haven't moved on and I have a problem with that. You know my divorce has been completed and I am free to remarry and that's what I want to do. The fact you aren't free causes a problem for any future we may have."

The teacher was clearly taken aback by my response and could offer no answer, though it would have been all too easy for her to say that she would push for her divorce to be sorted out and I may have been trapped.

Her failure to respond played in to my hands and sensing the moment I said in a conciliatory tone, "Well, I guess we don't really have anywhere to go now except our separate ways. It is you that can't commit to this relationship because you are not free and have done nothing to cut those final ties with your husband. You really need to think about what you are doing as you either want to move on with your life or be constrained by your past."

With that I went off to the bedroom an began to pack and despite the pleading and the tears I left, feeling it was better to do this now than let the relationship limp on when the conclusion would be just the same.

And so I found myself single again. I took the view I did not want to rush in to anything else and would just spend time working and enjoying my own company and the freedom of living alone for a while.

I continued to exchange emails with Jackie and one evening she asked me for my telephone number so we could speak. She was unhappy with her boyfriend who she felt was showing the same character traits of her husband, being too possessive of her.

A week later I got home from work about 7pm and the phone rang. It was Jackie.

"Hi John," she said in a voice that was without trace of regional accent, "I am so glad we can finally speak."

"It's so nice to hear your voice Jackie," I replied, a little awkwardly I thought.

Anyway, I relaxed in to the conversation and we talked for an hour about many things we'd covered in our email exchanges, silly things like favorite actors, books and films, and more serious issue like the current economic climate and the need for political intervention in controlling the economy.

This was not the talk of two suitors flirting. It was the chat of friends with similar interests and intellect who were drawn to each other as on the common ground that each had an ex-spouse who'd acted awfully.

Jackie drew the conversation towards an end by saying, "Well, it's been lovely talking with you. I love the fact you listen to what I have to say and we can stimulate each other's interest. It would be really nice to meet up, perhaps for a coffee."

"I could come down to the city on the train and meet you," I volunteered, "it's only a 30 minute trip and we could go to one of the nice old tea rooms by the river." Jackie lived near the historic city of York and there were many quaint cafes and tea rooms amongst the ancient cobbled streets.

"That would be great," she replied, "how about 11am next Thursday?"

I didn't even need to look at my diary to say yes and the arrangements were made.

As our meeting approached I was a little nervous, but reminded myself we were meeting as friends. Jackie was in a relationship, albeit an unhappy one, and I was newly single again and quite happy with that state. However, I had grown to like writing to Jackie and didn't want to do anything that might jeopardize a friendship that had grown over some six months now.

My trip by train to York couldn't pass quickly enough. It took just 25 minutes for the train to cover the 60 miles from my home town and could do nothing but stare out of the window throughout the journey as my mind was whirring and I couldn't concentrate on the newspaper I bought at the station.

In an effort to ensure I was punctual I actually got to our meeting point an hour ahead of time and so decided to wander through the Shambles, houses built in narrow streets in the middle ages. A narrow road, now traffic free, ran through the streets and the roofs of house on opposite sides of the street almost met above the road, giving the place a cozy, almost claustrophobic feel.

Time ticked by and at the allotted hour I returned to the café where we'd agreed to meet. We had exchanged photos some time ago and we immediately recognized each other.

I was immediately struck by how attractive I found Jackie. Her photos had not done her justice. She was about 5 foot 7, had dark brown hair that was naturally wavy and tumbled almost to her shoulders. She was of average build, perhaps a size 10-12 (UK) and stylishly dressed.

We spent two hours over two coffees each talking mainly about our past and I couldn't help but feel a little out of my depth. Jackie was not only extremely good looking, but she was cultured and quite intellectual. I felt I must have come across as a bit of a caveman despite my professional status in my working life.

We parted with a small hug and agreeing it would be nice to meet again, but I walked towards the railway station thinking, "You asshole, she was lovely and you acted like a dummy. I doubt we'll meet again and I'll be lucky if she wants to email me in the future let alone talk."

I soon put these negative thoughts out of my mind as I reasoned it was the whole trauma of my ex-wife leaving and the divorce and suddenly being single after 18 years of marriage that left me insecure and lacking confidence. Besides, I met Jackie simply as a friend, for coffee. It wasn't like it was a date and I'd blown my chances.

A few days later when I was checking my email inbox I noticed an email from Jackie which was short and read,

"My friend Julie is 40 on 29th May. She is having a party which is being held in a local school hall. Julie, another friend and I have been practicing for a few weeks so we can do a couple of songs with the band that is playing at the party.

It's a black tie do and you can come along if you like as my guest...."

I emailed back and explained I would love to attend but would be struggling to get home after the party unless I drive. Jackie replied I should come by train, get a cab to the station and then could stay at her house after the party.

I accepted her invitation and assumed I would get the spare room and wondered how her boyfriend would feel about me tagging along to the party as I was sure he would be going to watch Jackie sing. These thoughts didn't bother me too much as I reminded myself that Jackie was a friend and her relationship must be strong enough with her boyfriend that he accepts she has male as well as female friends.

The day of the party arrived. I packed an overnight bag and my best dinner suit and was soon on the train to York. My plan was to change at the station and hop in a cab to the school hall and this plan went without a hitch, except that I had to call Jackie en route and get directions as the driver didn't know where the school was.

When the cab pulled up at the school I got out, collected my bag and adjusted my bow tie before taking the plunge and joining the other guests who were filtering in to the hall.

The women were all wearing formal evening dresses, many black or dark reds and blue and most strapless and knee length. The majority of guests were thirty-something though there were a handful of guys dressed as if they were schoolboys, very much like a certain heavy metal lead singer from a famous band. They wore short grey pants, shirts, school caps and burgundy blazers. This was of course the band.

As I was about to enter the hall I noticed Jackie. She looked stunning in a knee length off the shoulder sleeveless black dress that highlighted her figure well. Black stockings and high heels finished off the look and I envied her boyfriend.

"I'm glad you came," she said to me, giving me a lovely smile and small hug.

The festivities soon began. The band was rather good and had a wide repertoire of songs designed to get people up and dancing.

Food was served and I ate, sat with Jackie who just sipped water to keep her voice clean for her turn.

When it came to it Jackie and her friend Liz carried Julie through the three songs they performed. It was easy to tell that Jackie and Liz were trained singer, though the birthday girl couldn't be faulted for her efforts.

We spent the last hour of the show sipping red wine together and it dawned on me that Jackie's boyfriend was conspicuous by his absence. I didn't ask about this and assumed he must have stayed home to take care of Jackie's young daughter.

The night was rounded off by one last song from Jackie and the girls which got a great deal of applause. When Jackie returned to where I sat I stood, gave her a congratulatory hug and a small kiss on the cheek.

The band then played one last slow dance song and many couples smooched their way through this, though I remained in my seat wishing I had the courage to ask Jackie to dance.

A friend of Jackie was giving us a ride back to Jackie's place and after leaving the party at midnight it took an hour to get there. We sat in the back of the car with another passenger who was to be dropped off on the way to Jackie's house. It was a little cramped and so Jackie's left thigh was in contact with my right thigh and I felt a tingle every time the car took a corner and she was pressed closer to me.

When we arrived at her house, a terraced cottage in a small village, I noticed it was all in darkness. Jackie unlooked the front door and we went in.

"Can I get changed out of this suit?" I asked as soon as we were inside.

"Yeah, sure, just straight to the top of the stairs, first door you come to, just use that room and you can leave your bag in there," she replied.

I crept quietly upstairs, not wanting to disturb her boyfriend and daughter.

To my surprise the first door I came to opened on to what was clearly Jackie's room. I thought I must have made a mistake and went back out and tried the other two doors – a bathroom and a child's bedroom.

My heart missed a beat as I realized we were there alone and I quickly changed in to a comfy sweat shirt and pair of jeans.

When I got back downstairs Jackie had switched on her music system and opened a bottle of red wine.

"I've put some of my groups music on for you to listen to," she explained, "I was a bit younger when I sang with them, of course, but hopefully it doesn't sound too dated. I am just going to change in to something a little more comfy myself. Help yourself to wine John."

I made myself comfy on a large sofa and listened to the music whilst drinking a glass of wine which went down a little quickly as I soon felt nervous.

To ease my tension I stood and had a look around the room. It was a typical living room in an English house. Ornaments were dotted about here and there along with framed photos of Jackie's daughter. The quality of the music system indicated Jackie was serious about listening experience. There was a well stocked bookshelf and next to which was small table on which a chess board was set up.

Jackie returned as I was looking at this. Her change of clothes mirrored my own in that she had on a pair of faded jeans and hooded pink sweat top. These did nothing for her figure compared to the dress they replaced.

"Do you play chess John?"

"Not much recently, but I thought I was quite proficient when I was younger."

"Oh, I could beat you I bet," Jackie challenged and so we I picked up small table with the chess board on it and moved it to the sofa.

There was something surreal about this scenario and as we played a close game we finished the wine and started another bottle. Playing out to a draw we started again and Jackie started to make errors as her concentration dropped off as a result of the alcohol.

I moved my queen to check-mate her a little too smugly and to my horror Jackie stood up and kicked the board off the table, causing the pieces to fly over the floor.

I stood worrying she was upset and she simply pushed me backwards so I was seated again on the sofa, straddled my legs and started kissing me passionately.

This was a surprise.

Her tongue was inter-twined with my own and her firm breasts were pushing in to my chest. She smelled so lovely, intoxicating even and I was suddenly aware that I was developing an erection that pressed in to my jeans.

I kissed Jackie behind the ear and down the neck, pulling her closer to me as I did so. I wondered if she could feel my erection through mine and her own jeans.

As I continued to kiss her I felt for her breasts through her top and firmly groped each one, eliciting a moan to escape Jackie's lovely red lips.

Our mouths met again in a passionate collision and then Jackie pulled away and lifted her sweat top over her head revealing a lovely pair of breasts, not over large, but with lovely pink nipples that were already standing up a little from the attention I had given them so far. She wasn't wearing a bra.

I pulled her forward and bowed my head a little so I could take her right nipple in to my mouth. As I closed my lips around it and sucked I continued to squeeze her breast and could feel Jackie's arms wrap around my head to pull my face closer.

My tongue made circular motions around her nipple interspersed with small, gentle bites and as I worked away I could feel her nipple stiffening further. Once it was erect I switched my attention to the left nipple and repeated the treatment.

I then pulled Jackie further forward and lifted her so she was still straddling my legs but so I could kiss between her breasts and then work downwards in small kisses, traveling down her belly and stopping at the top of her jeans. I then continued to kiss, following the line of her jeans around to the left then around to the right.

This must have pressed the right button as Jackie suddenly stopped me.

"Take me upstairs and fuck me John," she panted, climbing off me as she said this.

I stood up and followed her to the stairs and watched as she began to climb them. Her arse was lovely and rounded and as she climbed the steps she was undoing her jeans and beginning to ease them down.

I began to climb myself and when we were both in the bedroom Jackie pulled her jeans all the way down, revealing a great pair of shapely, smooth legs and a skimpy pair of black knickers.

She sat on the edge of the bed and beckoned me to come towards her. I obeyed and she reached out so that when I was directly in front of her she began to unfasten my jeans which she immediately pushed down my legs along with shorts to reveal my erect penis.

Carefully she pushed back my foreskin then leaned forward until the tip of my shaft was close enough for her to stick out her tongue which she used to flick lightly across the swollen red head.

The pleasure almost made me fall in a faint. Jackie's touch was so gently and I was so excited that I had to fight the urge to come there and then.

My task became more difficult however when Jackie took me in to her mouth and began to suck firmly, still teasing my knob with her tongue as she did this. I stood there, lost in a world of swooning emotion, not quite believing my luck.

"Jackie, that's soooo nice," I cooed, "but you need to stop or I'll shoot".

She let my stiff rod fall from between her red lips. The bedroom was only illuminated by light from the passage at the top of the stairs and in the half-light I took a second to drink in the sight before my eyes.

Jackie sat there still on the edge of the bed. Smooth white skin, pink erect nipples atop ample but medium breasts that age had not caused to sag. The tiny trace of a pot belly and down to the treasure between her legs, a neatly trimmed patch of pubic hair cleaned entirely away from around her vagina lips, covered by the flimsy, transparent material of her black knickers.

"Lay back," I suggested softly, "it's my turn to give you some attention."

Jackie did as she was told, with her legs still over the edge of the bed she laid back. I knelt at her feet and moved forward, taking he knees and spreading her legs a little further apart.

Starting on the inside of her left knee I ran my tongue all the way up her left inner thigh, stopping just short of the bottom of her knickers, ignoring her crotch and then running it down the inside of her right thigh and coming to rest on her right knee. I then retraced the same track with small kisses.

I could feel Jackie tense a little as I licked her again but this time let my tongue run over the material of her knickers, pushing down to contact her pubic patch.

I licked up and down her thighs one more time and then gently eased her knickers aside to reveal her vagina.

Her lips were slightly parted and as I leaned to kiss them I could smell the musty sweet smell of her excitement. I planted my lips on her hairless cunt lips and pressed and kissed.