The Alphabet of Love Ch. 15

I waited at the hotel the next morning while Trevor went to my apartment to put out food for Faldo and grab some things for me. I'd tried to describe what I wanted, where to find my suitcase. Part of me disliked the idea of him rooting around in my panties and bras, but what choice did I have? We'd been lovers. I shouldn't be so prudish. He texted me once he was inside to let me know everything was fine, Faldo meowing and lonely. At least no one had trashed the place, I thought, relieved.

When Trevor returned, we checked out of the hotel and went to breakfast. He told me he'd changed Faldo's litter box while he was there, and that I might want to take him to a kennel until this all blew over. He was right. As much as the cat pissed me off, he could also become a victim. A truly vindictive person might kill him just to warn me.

"My flight leaves tomorrow morning," he said, looking at me over his coffee cup.

I nodded. "I know you can't stay. I appreciate everything you've done."

"Let me give you a key to my place in case you want to stay there."

I shook my head. "No, I can't do that. If worst comes to worst, I'll stay at the hospital. I can sleep with the residents and shower in the locker room," I said with a smile. He knew exactly what I was talking about.

"What's your doctor boyfriend doing?" he wanted to know. "Where does he live?"

"Boston. He's called a security company to watch his house and he has a gun. He's going to Vermont today."

"Yeah? Not coming here to take care of you?" his tone was accusatory.

"No. We have our lives. He has a daughter at college up there."

"So he's more worried about her than he is about you."

I scowled at him. "That's not fair."

"If you were my woman, I'd be here or you'd be with me. I wouldn't let you out of my sight," he said firmly.

I said nothing. My position right now with Trevor was precarious. He'd helped me immeasurably and I didn't feel right smacking him down, but at the same time why shouldn't I say how I really felt just because of his concern? I bit my tongue for now, though, and ate breakfast. There was one more night to get through, and it would take everything in me not to give in to the temptation to 'thank' him with sex. I hated myself for this; a woman shouldn't have to give herself to anyone in exchange for common decency and assistance. I could offer to pay him, but he wasn't exactly hurting for money. No, he didn't make all that much as a resident surgeon, but his wife had to be making bank running a political campaign. And for now, they were still married and he didn't have to dig in dumpsters.

Later that morning, I did end up calling the police department in Boulder City to ask how the hacking had happened, and exactly what information had been taken. I was told that, despite being a victim of this breach, I couldn't know the exact circumstances. They did tell me that authorities believed they knew where the murderers were, and that they should be apprehended within the next few days. I asked how that would help me, if they believed me to be a potential witness against them. I was told to get a lawyer.

Angry, I went for a walk alone. I left Trevor in a coffee shop in Pike Place Market, where we'd come to kill time and distract ourselves for the day. I meandered through shops and along the waterfront, trying to fill myself with the joy I'd known when I first came to Seattle, as a first year medical student. It thrilled me that I could now come here anytime I wanted to. And I had; musing over my studies, getting away from cramming for tests or the interminable hours cooped up when I was a resident. Pike Place Market was my happy place.

Trevor played it low-key the rest of the day, just letting me talk and express my fear and anger over the situation. He'd be jetting off tomorrow; this wouldn't be his problem any longer. Hell, I might never hear from him again. Why would he want to risk any involvement in a murder investigation?

I began to relax finally; and even thought perhaps it had all been a false alarm, that the police in Nevada had only informed me about the hacking because they were required to do so. The hackers could have been looking for information on someone other than me and Derek, after all. If their arrest was imminent, well, there had to be plenty of evidence apart from whatever Derek and I might know that could convict them.

I talked with Derek for a few minutes. He and Jonas were in Bennington with Mercury. They'd had a harrowing drive in snow and wind but had made it safely in Jonas's 4-wheel drive. Better that than the Prius, I presumed. I told Derek what I'd learned from the Boulder City police and he advised me not to let down my guard just yet. I said I planned to spend tonight at a hotel again, but tomorrow I'd go home. I couldn't keep living like a frightened vagabond. If I was meant to be murdered, then so be it.

He didn't like that at all. But he didn't have any answers for me, either.

After our talk I felt oddly disconnected from him. We'd been so close in Vegas, it felt right, like we belonged together. Now with him so far away I had to ask myself if it was real, or if I'd been caught up in the romance.

When Trevor and I went to book a hotel room, I told him to get only one room. Bad girl, I told myself. But I didn't care.

After a night of delicious sex with Trevor, I felt no guilt. Perhaps there's something wrong with me, I thought. Out of sight, out of mind? If Derek came to Seattle today would I feel awful that I'd betrayed him? But, had I really? We didn't have a commitment, despite his pleas for my hand in marriage. Or was I just a whore, addicted to sex?

All I knew was, when I saw Trevor off at the airport, he was a very happy man.

And afterward, I drove his car to his apartment. I refused to be afraid any longer. I'd made him give me his address so I could take the car there and then planned to get a cab to get my own car. This process took over two hours. Once in my Acura I decided I needed some shopping therapy so I headed to a boutique I liked, picking up a couple of new outfits for work. I had a voicemail from Derek while I was out, but I ignored it. I'd talk to him after I got home.

Music loud, my spirits up, I pulled into the parking lot at my apartment building. I was thinking about what I could make for dinner as I went upstairs with my purchases. I stopped in front of my door, groped for my keys in my purse, but when I started to insert the key I realized the door was ajar. I froze in place. Should I go in? Run away? I peered inside, hoping I wouldn't be met with the muzzle of a gun.

Through the slit of the open door I saw all I needed to see. Furniture upended. Things broken. Books strewn, curtains even torn down. It was all I could do to keep from screaming. I turned as quickly as I could and ran back down the stairs, my shaking fingers tapping nine-one-one from the safety of my car.

I sat there and cried while I waited. Two police cars came; two officers went upstairs, the others stayed with me, asking questions. I told them about the events in Nevada, but they wanted to know if I had any other enemies. I gave them Derek's information, too. Eventually they took me up to the apartment, told me not to touch anything, and asked me if I could tell if anything was missing.

My laptop was gone, I noticed right away. A file where I kept documents like original copies of my licenses, contracts, banking details had also disappeared. I got the feeling they believed I'd simply been robbed. I didn't agree. I challenged them to explain why someone who wanted to steal valuables would go to the trouble to thoroughly trash the place? They couldn't answer me.

And Faldo was gone.

I didn't really like the cantankerous beast, but dammit, he was my cantankerous beast. I didn't want him to be harmed or lost. The police wanted details of my movements since I'd got the news from Nevada. So I told them about Trevor, though I did not use his name, that he'd helped me by coming here to get some of my things and taking care of my cat.

"So your friend was the last person here?" an older, serious officer asked me.

"Yes, but everything was fine then."

He looked at a colleague, an eyebrow raised.

I looked between them, and it dawned on me what they were thinking. "Oh hell no. He didn't do this," I shook my head vigorously.

"We'll need his name, ma'am."

"No. He had nothing to do with this."

"Why are you protecting him?" the older man wanted to know.

"I'm not!" I insisted. "He was just doing me a favor!"

"You know we've dusted for prints. We'll probably find out who he is anyway."

Defiant, I argued again. "What you need to do is call the Boulder City Police and report this!" But inside I was panicking. This was the last thing Trevor needed.

They didn't leave until after midnight, and there I was, in the midst of a disaster. I couldn't even get to my bed; my tall armoire had been pushed onto it, spilling out all my things. The armoire was so heavy I couldn't get it off. And I was still pissed about Faldo.

Stomping around, crying, I found a bottle of wine that had thankfully survived the attack. I poured a coffee mug full and took a large drink. And then my phone went off in my purse.

It was Derek.

"Hey, I'm going to send you a picture," I told him, disconnecting the call. I took some shots of my apartment and sent them to him.

He called me back. "What the hell is that?" he wanted to know.

"My apartment."

"Oh, shit, Shiloh, you weren't there, were you?"

"No. But now I have to call the banks and everyone else because they stole my laptop and all my personal papers."

"You're not still there, are you?"

"Well where else am I going to go? I have to clean up this mess and see if anything else is missing. Couslard is going to be pissed. I have to call him, too."

"You need to get out of there," he said sternly. "They'll be back."

"Why? They've got my stuff. The only reason to come back would be to off me, and you know, at this point, I might just welcome being put out of my misery. Did I tell you Faldo's gone, too?"

"I'm sorry," he said, contrite. "Do you want me to come?"

I did, but could I really ask him to do that? I started to cry.

"Shiloh? Are you all right?"

"No," I blubbered.

"I'll call Couslard," he said at once.

"No," I said more firmly. "I don't need anyone to babysit me!"

"I'm doing it because I love you and you've been through hell. Get yourself out of there and to a hotel, and I'll be there tomorrow, as soon as I can get a flight."

So I gave him Dr. Couslard's personal phone number.

"But what about Faldo?" I knew I sounded pathetic.

"I know he's your pet, but your life is what matters right now."

"What about your house? You should call the security company."

"I'll do that," he said. "But right now I want you to promise me you'll get to a safe place."

Tears streamed down my face. "All right, all right," I agreed. I still had the things Trevor had packed for me in the car. Thank goodness one of them was my iPad. I could change all my pertinent passwords easier on it than on my phone.

"Go now," he insisted.

"Okay," I sniffed. I picked up my purse from the underside of an overturned chair. "I'm going now. I'll call you when I'm checked in."

"Good. Be careful. I'll let you know my flight information as soon as I can."

We said our 'I love yous' and I dropped the phone into my purse. I opened the door to leave the apartment, my hand on the light switch, when I heard a movement from the floor and a light 'meow.'

There at my feet stood Faldo, looking up at me. His eyes had lost their typical aloofness; he waited for me to let him inside.

"Oh poor kitty," I said, probably for the first time since I'd met him. I went back inside, and fed him. He seemed completely unlike himself, flinching at the slightest sound I made, from the rustle of the cat food bag to the running of water into his dish. I stroked him as he nibbled. I'd tried that before and got a swat with his clawed paw. Now he arched his back gratefully to my touch.

He'd been scared shitless.

I rather felt guilty leaving him, but at least he was safe, and had food and shelter. I gave him a few more strokes before I picked up my purse again and went out. I looked around the parking lot before I stepped away from the building, then got into my car. I had no idea where to go. There was the hotel Trevor and I had stayed in, it was nearby. But I chose another one, just to be different. As I drove there, I noticed in my rearview mirror that a car had turned at every corner where I'd turned. Curious and apprehensive, I took a longer route to the hotel just to see if the car was really following me.

It was.

Oh shit, now what was I going to do? Go to the police station? And say what? Someone is following me? They'd think I was crazy. They already believed Trevor had trashed my place out of some jealous lover's rage or some nonsense. I didn't think they'd probably even verified my story of what happened in Nevada. I spied a McDonald's and got into the drive-thru line. The car tailed me, but a pickup truck was between us. Damn, I couldn't get a very good look at the car or its occupant(s). The last thing I was going to do was go to a hotel parking lot right now.

I had to order something; I got a Coke. As I pulled out of the drive-thru I realized this was my chance to make a break for it. That pickup behind me was the lifesaver. I floored it onto the street, knowing that my pursuers were trapped and couldn't follow me. I made a left at the first corner I came to and drove erratically around corners and as far away as I could, just so they'd be unable to find me. I changed my plan and went to a different lodging; this one a cheaper motel near the freeway. I parked between two vehicles, but there was no doubt my car would stick out like a sore thumb if anyone was looking for it.

I no doubt looked like hell as I checked into the motel. I trudged to my room, finding it dull, smelling like bleach, and cold. The first thing I did was turn on some heat and flop onto the bed with my iPad. I'd changed two passwords before I remembered to text Derek. I told him that someone had followed me but I lost them, and was now at a motel. He didn't respond.

Kicking off my shoes, I got more comfortable on the bed as I tried to remember all the other passwords I needed to change. At the back of my mind was another thought - that I should warn Trevor. If they found his fingerprints, the jig would be up. For a simple breaking and entering theft, I didn't know how far they would pursue him; not far, I surmised. Still, it might be enough of an intrusion to alert his wife or father to the incident. He didn't need that.

So I texted him, too, keeping it as brief as I could. I didn't mention that he was the last one in my apartment (before the perpetrators). I simply said that my place had been trashed and the cops had dusted for prints. He should know that they might find his.

He texted back quickly. "Was it the Nevada thing?"

"I don't know what else," I answered. "They took my laptop and files."

"I'm sorry."

"I just want you to know you might be contacted."

"No problem. I'll just tell the truth."

Oh how naïve he was, I thought.

I showered after I ended my chat with him. I stood under the water for a long time, letting go of stress. Who was I kidding? I still had my apartment to clean up, and those assholes were still on the loose. The only good thing was, Derek would be here soon.

He'd left me a voicemail while I was showering. He'd booked a flight from Albany, New York to Seattle, to arrive around noon. Was I sure I'd lost whoever was following me? Was I safe? He worried that I didn't answer the phone.

I called him.

"Are you all right?" was the first thing he said.

"Yes, I was in the shower. Did you talk to Dr. Couslard?"

"I did. He's confused by all this but there's not much he can do about it. He'll talk to the clinic director but he wants you to call him, too."

"Dr. Miliano," I said with a sigh. "I'll call in the morning. Do you think I should just tell them my place was robbed? Should I go into all the Nevada murder stuff?"

"You'll have to. I told him."

Great, I thought, wearily.

"I'll go with you when I get there. I'll help you clean up your place, too."

"It's a mess," I warned him.

"No problem. I don't want you there alone."

It felt good to have him so decisive and sure of what to do. But I hated myself for having to rely on him.

"Will your kids be all right?" I wanted to know.

"Mercury's in a secure dorm and I told her not to go anywhere alone. Jonas doesn't listen to me anyway. So you lost the tail?"

"I think so. I went into a drive-thru and they got stuck between me and another car. I got away and never saw them behind me again."

"Good job. I haven't seen anyone suspicious here yet, but then there's a foot of snow. If they're Arizona boys they're probably not used to this."

"How are you getting to the airport?"

"Jonas will take me," he said. "I called the security company and they said the house is fine."

"That's good," I said, though it made me feel even more like a victim. Why my place and not his? "Oh! Faldo came home. He was there when I went to leave."

"That's one less thing to worry about," he said.

"I'll pick you up at the airport."

"All right. Can't wait to see you, Shiloh."

"You too," I said. And felt suddenly awful that I'd had sex with Trevor. What was the matter with me? No, Derek and I didn't have a commitment. But I'd said I loved him. I had all these feelings for him, feelings of wanting him to be the father of my children, even. I was so immature; I felt such shame.

I slept badly. I dreamed of Faldo and my car and Trevor and Derek playing golf while I tried to seduce them both at the same time.