The Annual Outing

"I don't know. I don't know, Jan cried looking at me beseechingly. "You are my love. I thought it was just an innocent fling once a year; no one would be hurt."

"I am your love, am I? Would someone who professes love for her husband deliberately go out and get impregnated by another man? Tell me that 'My Love."

"Oh god, you know!" Jan screamed and went into another fit of screaming and sobbing. Karla was still sobbing but she was looking at her sister with compassion.

"Bob, I suggest that you take Karla and Melissa home and work out your own marriage salvation plan. Jan and I have a lot more to resolve then you do."

Jan stayed huddled on the sofa in a fetal position crying and sobbing in deep distress as I saw Bob and his family to the door. Karla turned her tear stained face with her makeup and mascara running down her face away from me as she left. I didn't even acknowledge her as I gave Bob a brotherly hug in parting.

I returned to the family room and chased the kids back to the bedroom. They were getting concerned that something was seriously wrong in our family and decided to take them over to my folks for the night. When I told them they were eager to go. The grandparents always spoiled them and they loved it. To spend the night would be a special treat.

I went back into the family room and told Jan, "I'm taking the kids to my folks for the night. I'll be back in about half an hour so you've got that time to figure out what you're going to do to atone for your infidelity or whether you think this marriage and access to the kids is worth it. The only reason and I repeat, the only reason I'm considering letting you stay is because of the kids. I will not give up Sean. He is my son as far as I'm concerned. They both need a mother and you are still the best candidate for that job. If you decide you want a divorce I will make the video, the results of the DNA tests and the investigators report public knowledge, including to your parents, siblings and the congregation of our church. You will no longer have a life in this community. Think about it." She didn't acknowledge me but continued sobbing even louder.

I bundled up the kids with their pajamas and tooth brushes and drove off to my parents. They lived about fifteen minutes away and were surprised to see us but I explained that Jan and I wanted a little privacy. My dad winked at me and said, "We understand son. Take as long as you like. You don't look very well though."

"I'll be OK dad."

I arrived back home and the house was quiet. Jan wasn't in the family room so I headed for our bedroom. I found her there gathering up her personal belonging and moving them to the guest room. I just looked at her and said, Well?"

She looked like death warmed over and continued sobbing as she tried to gasp out. "This marriage, you and my kids are more important to me than anything in this world. I'm not going to say I'm sorry for what I did nor am I going to try to explain it because you asked me not to do that. Why I allowed myself to get pregnant by him I can't explain it even to myself. I will stay if you will let me. I realize I have to move out of our marriage bed until you see fit to want me back. I will not withhold my body from you. You can have me anytime you want. I know you can have revenge on me by sleeping with someone else and I can't stop you. It will hurt me as deeply as I have hurt you. I will do anything you want, agree to any conditions you want to make to be able to stay here with you and the kids. I realize if I decided on a divorce it would be the end of me. I thank you for giving any chance to redeem myself."

"That was quite a speech, Jan. You may not realize yet the conditions I'm going to need to allow you to stay here and you may eventually want to leave. But I want revenge so bad I can taste it. Since I found out a mere ten days ago I've been living in torment, but your torment may take years. I hope you considered that."

"I have, Jim."

"I will give you my conditions tomorrow." I told her and the turned and went back downstairs.

Later, alone in bed I could hear her sobbing most of the night in the guest room. I wanted to go and comfort her but thinking again about what she'd done made me so enraged and I couldn't force myself to go to her. She would have to do her atonement.

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Chapter 6 The Atonement

The next morning I got up early, showered and dressed casually. It was Saturday and we were having the family over today but I wanted to sit down and write out the conditions of our new marriage contract established in black and white so I could get Jan's concurrence when she got up. I sat in the kitchen for almost an hour writing, crossing out and finally arriving at a final draft.

I waited until ten o'clock and then went up and woke up Jan. "When you get cleaned up" I told her, "please join me downstairs in the kitchen."

She looked at me and nodded and I left her. Shortly afterward I heard the shower running and in half an hour she was sitting at the kitchen table with me.

I started out by saying "I want you to know I have given this serious thought and tried not to let my need for revenge overwhelm me and do something I would regret. I don't know whether I still love you but honestly hope you'll stay the course on this so I can find out whether I do or not. I miss very deeply the wife I once had."

She looked at me with a weak smile and I sign of hope. "Oh Jim, I so want to be your wife again and put this all behind us, but I know I've got a lot to make up for."

"Yes, you do and here's what you're going to have to do to make up for it." Then I began to read from my list of conditions:

"1. You will never talk to another man alone again. I want that to mean you will not even be alone with the pizza delivery boy or the meter reader." "2. There will be no more trips alone to anywhere. I don't care if your mother is dying and you want to get to her. If I'm not available to go with you or someone I trust to go with you, you don't go." "3.You will notify me whenever you leave the house, where your going, how long you will be, purpose of the trip and notify me when you're back home." "4. You will have no credit cards or cell phone. I've already cancelled those anyway." "5. You will make yourself available for sex, not love, 24/7. Nothing will be held back. If I tell you to suck my cock, you will suck it until I cum and then swallow it. If you can do it for Randy, you can do it for me. Do you understand that?"

"Yes, I understand. I always wanted to do it to you but I was afraid I would lose your respect."

"Well, I've sure lost any respect I had for you now. Was it worth it?"

"No! No!" she sobbed.

"What you did to me requires that I include this condition also."

"6. You will treat me with respect at all times. You will be a happy obedient wife and mother." "7. You will report to me every time you talk or communicate with a man, even if its on the phone, in a chat room or via email. I will have ways to verify this so you had better be truthful and honest with me." 8. You will sign adoption papers allowing me to adopt Sean." 9. You will limit communication to Karla in person or other means to one hour a week. I don't know who influenced who on your affair, but I expect it was you. Bob is in agreement that we have to keep you two apart. 10. You will be given a clothing allowance but I will have approval of any new clothes you buy. I will not have you spending the money I work for to buy sexy clothing for a lover. That is another sore spot with me and that's pretty much it.

Do you have any comments or reservations about these conditions. Punishment for a breach of any of these conditions will be commensurate with the infraction."

"None. I accept them without reservation. They are more lenient than I would have given you if our positions were reversed. Thank you. You know you will have to get Sean's natural father to sign off too.."

"I know that and we are working on getting that signature. You should realize that your lover and Karla's are not getting off scot free on this. Copies of the investigators report and the video CD have been sent to their wives. Also, we will be suing them for alienation of affection and your friend will be sued for back child support and future child support if he doesn't agree to the adoption. I think he will sign the papers and agree never to try to see or contact sean until after his twenty first birthday."

"Oh my god. You'll destroy him."

"You should have thought about the future ramifications when you got involved with him and had his baby."

She closed her eyes. "It was just so easy. We didn't think about being caught."

"But you did"

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I had a bad night dreaming about Jan and Randy. It seemed they were laughing at me as they fucked. I awoke in a rage with my shirt wet from the sweat that poured off me. I must have made some noise because Jan came running in asking, "Are you all right?"

I was still in the throes of my rage as I responded gruffly, "Yes, I'm all right. Leave me alone."

"I'm sorry." she said as she backed out of room and left.

The next morning I got up and showered then dressed for early service at church. Knocking on Jan's door I said, "we leave for church in one hour." Then I went and started to get the kids ready. We were all ready to go on time and were back on our normal schedule. After church we went to IHOP for breakfast as we normally did. Then we went home to spend a lazy afternoon. I watched the football games, Jan worked on her crossword and the kids played with their toys. The only thing not normal was when I went out to the garage at half time and installed the wire tap recorder. From now on I would have a means of monitoring Jan when I wasn't home.

The other thing that wasn't normal was a telephone call I received that afternoon from Randy's wife.

"Jim, I want to thank you for the package you sent me. It was most enlightening and I'm going to use it in divorce proceedings against my husband."

"Is once a year infidelity sufficient grounds?" I asked.

"Its not been once a year. He's been playing around for years. Now I have the proof to dump him and make him pay. Thank you."

"Can you do something for me in return?"

" Sure, name it."

"I'd like to get a sample from your husband for DNA testing. I have a paternity problem here. Whatever you send will have to be identified or certified as being from your husband."

"Consider it done. Give me a couple of days."

"Thanks a lot."

"Thank you. You know that my husband's friend, Mark, is going to the divorce court too don't you? He was playing around the same as my husband."

"No, I hadn't heard that. Thanks for the information." Then we signed off.

I went in search of Jan and found her in the family room with the children. She looked at me quizzically. She knew she shouldn't ask who'd called but I decided to enlighten her and cause her more pain regarding her lover.

"That was Randy's wife. She's divorcing him. Mark's wife is divorcing him as well."

She turned a little pale and hung her head..

"It seems," I continued, "they were quite the philanderers and the material I sent them gave their wives the proof they needed to dump them. Its going to be very expensive for them. They'll be working the rest of their lives to pay for their indiscretions and their lawyers. With my paternity suit against him, Randy is really in the deep brown."

Jan suddenly jumped up and ran from the room sobbing. Later, she came back and told me. "I'm sorry for rushing off like that. It was just that I suddenly felt overwhelmed by the responsibility I had in breaking up two other marriages and possibly a third. It wasn't because I had any feelings for him."

I just looked her. I didn't think anything more needed to be said.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

So we began a period of atonement. In order to monitor Jan's movements and communications more thoroughly I bought a audio recorder which recorded voice actuated signals from tiny transmitters that could easily be concealed. I hid the recorder in the garage next to the phone tap recorder and three transmitters throughout the house where visitors might actuate them. It was not one hundred percent coverage but I thought sufficient to keep track of her.

Our days just dragged on and I could tell that the pressure she was under to obey my conditions was taking a toll on her. She was appearing more haggard and drawn every day. It must have been hard on me too, because my boss and my secretary wanted me to go see a doctor. They told me that they thought the flu I'd had earlier was hanging on too long and thought I should be checked for walking pneumonia. I knew what the problem was; a sickness of the mind.

Our love life was strictly for sex; there was no love in it. She responded to my aggressive need to just fuck her, sometimes with intent to cause pain, without complaint.

I kept checking my recording devises every evening when I got home from work, but it was obvious she wasn't communicating with anyone she wouldn't normally. She was calling me faithfully every time she had to leave the house and reporting as my conditions required. But the toll on her having to be so severely constrained was bothering me. I hadn't realized how restrictive they were and how loveless our marriage was. Now I saw we needed a change

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Chapter 7 A Change of Direction

At the end of the the first thirty days we were both so stressed we were having a tough time living together. Even the kids noticed the strain and it was affecting them. They were unnaturally quiet and nervous. They watched us with concern on their faces. They felt their world was about to explode and they were concerned. Watching them and Jan was tearing me up. My conditions and need for revenge were destroying the marriage and family I was trying to save.

Finally, on a Sunday afternoon, while the kids were outside playing in the yard, I took Jan by the hand and took her into the family room.

"We have to talk."

She looked apprehensive as I pulled her down on the sofa next to me. I turned to her took her face gently between my hands and kissed her softly on her lips. When I took my lips away from hers I said, "I love you."

She looked at me expressionless for a moment and then broke down and started to cry. I took her in my arms and let her cry on for quite some time. There was no hurry about this. I was looking at the rest of our lives. If we didn't make it here we weren't going to make it at all.

Finally, she stopped sobbing and pushed herself back from me and looked at my face. "This is really you isn't it? Do you really love me?" I can't take it if you're not being honest with me."

"I love you, Jan. I can't keep going on like this. I'm watching you die a little every day and I suddenly realized I can't live without you. The kids are hurting too. I've given it a lot of thought for the last few days to try to assess my feelings toward you. For a long time I've felt so empty that I didn't think I loved you any more. I just wanted to keep going for the sake of the kids, but its becoming obvious a split is coming if I can't forgive you and get over your affair and especially Sean not being my son. I want you to know that I may never be able to forget what you did, but I can try to forgive you. When I made that decision to forgive you, I suddenly felt better about myself and the reason was my love for you. I don't know whether that makes sense but I hope it does."

"Oh, Jim, I never thought I'd ever hear those words from your lips again. I think I understand your reasoning and I know it was hard to make your decision. You will never regret it, my darling. I love you so much. I wanted you back with me so many nights."

"Well, after we get the kids to bed tonight I want to make slow passionate love to you all night long."

Her face was lit up in a smile I hadn't seen for a long time. Then she took my face between her two hands and brought her lips to mine. Whereas my kiss was tender, hers quickly turned into a passionate, tongue probing, lip sucking, I want to fuck kiss.

"Oh wow!!" I told her. "I can hardly wait."

The kids suddenly came inside and we had to break off our emotional embrace. We looked into one another's eyes as we separated. I saw nothing but love and a promise there. We realized the kids were standing there looking at us. When they saw us smiling at each other they suddenly began to climb all over us; giggling and laughing. We were a family again.

Epilogue

In the weeks that followed that Sunday afternoon our nights were filled with passionate love making. There were no holds barred as we explored our sexual fantasies. I found that Jan was insatiable and I was just as eager to satisfy here needs. Our happy family activities grew in proportion to our new found love. The conditions I had forced on her were quickly forgotten. I had regained my trust and respect for her, but sometimes late at night I would wake up screaming at the memory of that time. Jan knew what caused the nightmares and held me and gently kissed away my fears and memories until I went back to sleep. Where ever she went by herself she made sure I knew where she was and what she was doing. She knew my fragile phyce could not tolerate any doubts as to her faithfulness.

I eventually settled with Randy on the issue of child support and used the money to establish a college fund for our sons. He was more than happy to sign the adoption papers and lose the responsibility for further support. We settled the alienation of affection suits and received enough funds to pay Sam and the investigator.

Bob and Karla remained together and ultimately we regained our old companionship. We have many happy times together again.

Our wives never mentioned going away together again on any outings. Our assurance of their continued fidelity lies in safe deposit boxes in mine and Bob's name only. Copies of the video and the report are safely hidden away there awaiting possible future action. I still keep the internet site in my PC at work requiring just a push of a button to release it. Our wives have never asked about the evidence of their infidelity, but I think they know its still around.