The Apple... Ch. 08

The apple doesn't fall far from the tree

Chapter 8

Juliette was profoundly despondent as she made her way to the university.

How could she have hurt her Ari? She didn't even remember doing it. What a horrible person she must be. Maybe the priests were right and what she had done these past days was an abomination for which she must be punished or her soul would be fated to eternal damnation.

'But I was so happy! I love Ari so much! She is the other part of me! How can I live if I can't be with her? But I don't want to hurt her again. It's not fair!' She wailed within the confines of her mind, on a dangerous spiral to despair. She felt herself losing her grip on life itself. Everything that made her the woman she was, now became suspect. Could she have been so wrong about her feelings? About everything?

She made an effort to be nice to her supervisor and her co-workers when she clocked in for work because, after all, it wasn't their fault if she was such a bad person.

When Juliette got to the library, she went about her work conscientiously, if not with her customary industriousness, but she did not stint in her efforts either. She had been intrusted with this responsibility and she had accepted it. Heartsick she may be, she could not let the people down. That would be wrong.

So lost in her misery, she did not even notice that Ari had not come to study.

Around one am, Juliette felt uneasy all of a sudden. The library seemed to darken, the air thickening with a sulfurous stench. She sat on the nearest chair as she got dizzy. Some dark menace was coming for her. No, not for her. For Ari. For HER Ari! "NO!" She shouted in the empty library. "You will NOT have her!" Her eyes were flashing with fury. She paced angrily, enraged beyond reason that someone, something would dare attack HER Ari. "NO! Go away! She is MINE!" Her mind in a turmoil, she raged on for long moments, until she sensed that the danger had passed.

It took Jules a long time to calm down and when she did, she took stock of the situation. Her decision made, she went about her duties as expeditiously as she could. Once done, she got her things and went in search of her supervisor. "Sir, I have finished my work for the night and I need to go home. There is a family emergency."

Knowing his employee's dedication, he was certain that her work was indeed completed and, a family man himself, at seeing her agitation he never hesitated in giving her leave to go. "I understand. And don't worry, I'll personally punch your time card later. Well, what are you waiting for? Isn't there an emergency at home?" He laughed softly at her swiftly retreating back.

***********

Sarah was sitting in the living room reading a book of poetry by an author she particularly liked. Ari had gone to bed not long before, so she had lowered the volume of the radio to a background noise level. 'Poor thing, she was so happy at last. Lord why did you have to bring Chaos to our doorstep so soon? She doesn't deserve this.'

When she heard Ari whine piteously, she threw her book down and rushed to Ari's room. 'This is going to be a bad one.' She thought, but by the time she made it there, she couldn't hear her anymore. When she peered within, she saw her friend sleeping peacefully. She even smiled beatifically. 'Is she purring?'

Back in the living room Sarah figured she had better unlock the door and be ready to open it quickly or it would be reduced to kindling when the Mother arrived.

Sure enough, barely 90 minutes had passed when she heard footsteps pounding up the stairs. She had just enough time to open the door before Jules went through the opening without slowing down in the slightest. 'She probably wouldn't have noticed the obstacle.' Sarah thought with a grin.

She had expected cries, shouts, something, but as silence stretched, she quietly went looking. What she saw was clothes strewn everywhere. 'So much for the motherly admonition.' Jules was in the bed, Ari in her embrace, head pillowed on her breast, suckling contentedly on a nipple as the Mother gazed tenderly at her with a look of Pure Love.

'Well, that's that. Steps one through five completed successfully. No need to pussyfoot around her. She will probably understand everything better than Ari did.' Giggling to herself, Sarah made sure the doors were locked and went to bed, confident she would sleep undisturbed. 'Unless those two get frisky in the middle of the night.' She amended the thought.

**********

The three naked women were sitting on Ari's bed, sipping at coffee cups Sarah had brought.

"So you see Jules, your bond is so strong you both got caught up in the role play at a level you didn't understand and you got swept away by it." Sarah explained. "There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. You did not hurt Ari, you gave her love bites. So what? I've had worst by lovers who got carried away in the heat of the moment."

"Are you sure? I thought I was a bad person and..." Jules pulled Ari closer to her as she remembered her anxiety of the previous day.

"That's exactly what I mean. All this was because you're good person. And what happened last night is proof positive. You love her so much you interpreted this loving gesture the wrong way because you didn't understand it and felt guilty at having 'hurt' the person you love more than life itself."

"What about this alpha thing you mentioned? It sounds pretty farfetched to me."

"Only because it's a complicated way of saying a simple thing. We are a family and in a family, there can be only one mother. In our case, that's you. You are the mother figure on many levels. Look at this." Sarah turned, pulling her hair out of the way.

"Oh, no! You too!" Jules exclaimed when she saw the bite marks on Sarah's back.

"Yes, me too. It means you love me too and that I'm part of your family." Sarah leaned over to hug and kiss Jules. "I'm deeply touched that you think so highly of me to include me in your family."

The group hug that followed cemented the core unit of this unusual family with the unbreakable bonds of the heart.

**********

"Now, Jules, you should exert your motherly authority and get the adoring fool to let go of you and get ready for work. Love and devotion are well and good, but the rent won't pay itself. Life goes on."

Ari had barely said a word since waking up in Jules arms. She would not let go of her. Jules even had to insist she wait outside when she went to the lavatory. The events of the previous night had had a profound effect on Ari. She had not come to grips yet with Jules' role in them. All she knew was that her Jules had come back to her and she never wanted to come so close to losing her again.

"Sarah is right, my love. I will be right here when you come back. I'm not going anywhere. I will always be with you. I promise."

**********

Later, Jules and Sarah sat at the kitchen table and discussed their bond mate and friend.

"I don't want to go into details because they should be hers to tell, but I think we should address Ari's situation sooner rather than later." Sarah told Jules.

"She did not seem like herself this morning. What do you think happened? Is it my fault?" Jules asked, her eyes filled with unshed tears.

"It's not your fault. She has deep seated issues going back to her early adolescence and to the war years which have been festering within her because she will not address them. She's a strong willed and independent woman who thinks she can deal with things on her own, and it hasn't work all that well for her. In the last few months, she has been more and more fragile, breaking down in tears often for no reason. She's been spending days in her study staring at the walls..."

"How can I help?" Jules interrupted, worried for her Ari.

"You already have and more than I could have ever imagined possible, which may be part of this new twist on the problem. You have given her strength to face her issues, but it does not mean she has dealt with them, only that she can now face them. What happened yesterday has shaken this new found confidence. When she thought she had hurt you..."

"She did?" Jules asked, incredulous. "But I thought I had hurt her."

"You thought you had hurt her physically, where she thought she had hurt you emotionally. That's the point. She felt guilty for putting you in a position where she thought you felt conflicted between your love for her and your previous experiences and upbringing. And when she thought you may not come back to her, she reverted and left herself wide open to her inner demons. I'm afraid she was giving in and may not have wanted to fight back anymore."

"Do you mean...?"

"Yes, you had given her such hope life could be different and she could be free of the nightmares that when she thought you were gone she could see no way out and could have been lost mentally, possibly never to come back."

"Oh, my poor Ari!" Jules wailed. "How could I have done this to her? I didn't know!"

Sarah went to her and hugged her tightly. "You didn't do anything wrong. In fact, I don't know how, but you did exactly the right thing. You fought for her and won decisively. Now she's hanging on to you for dear life, because on some level, she knows what you did and is afraid to let go for fear she will get lost for good."

"How can I help? I don't know the first thing about helping with that kind of problem."

"But you do, honey. You have been doing it your whole life. When one of your brothers or sisters had nightmares or came home with some trouble with their friends, you held them and consoled them. This is same thing, but you have powerful tools you didn't have with your siblings: your love for Ari and the strength of your bond."

Jules nodded, beginning to see a way out of this predicament. "So I need to get her to confront her demons and do it with her so she knows she is not alone and will never be ever again."

"See? You know what to do. All you need is to believe in yourself and you will realize you know so much more that you think."

Jules giggled. "That's what Ari's been telling me all along."

"What do you know? The lug's not as dumb as she looks. Ouch! What was that for?" Sarah rubbed her arm where Jules had hit her with a not-so-mock punch.

"Sorry. A reflex, I guess. Just remember who's within reach when you talk about my Ari that way."

"Yes, mommy." Sarah grumbled under her breath.

**********

A few hours later, Ari had come back from the university. Immediately, her eyes has sought Jules and upon seeing her she had rushed to her, pulling a chair as close as possible and hugging her, cooing her devotion.

Jules and Sarah looked at each other and nodded in agreement. This was worse than they had thought and they must do something right away. Jules pulled Ari up and, motioning for Sarah to follow, went to their room where they undressed her, took off their robes, and got under the covers, both flanking a giggling Ari.

They took their time in expressing their love to Ari, demonstrating in a very tangible and tactile way how much she meant to them.

**********

Later, as they lay catching their breath, cuddling, Jules in front of her and Sarah at her back, their arms enfolding her protectively, Jules tenderly cupped Ari's face and held her gaze. "My love, we need to talk. Both Sarah and I are worried about you. I know you said you weren't ready to talk about what's troubling you, but we think you need to."

"Noooooo!" Ari tried to bury her face in Jules shoulder but she wouldn't let her.

"My love, baby, you need to listen to me." Jules said sternly though it nearly broke her heart when she saw the piteous expression on her Ari's face. "You are a strong girl. I know you are. Mommy is here for you and she will help you. Sarah is here too and you know she has always been there for you. Together we are stronger than anything. You need to tell me all the bad things that happened to you so we can fight and beat them. Then they won't be able to hurt you anymore. Can you do that, baby?"

"I... I will try." Ari said in a little girl's voice. "There was this man. He was nice to me. He taught me all kinds of fun things about flowers and stuff." Ari giggled at the memory, then her smile turned to a frown. "One day, he said we would play a new game. He brought me to the tool shed and... and he... he did bad things. He hurt me... down there. I cried, but he would not stop. Oh, mommy, he hurt me!" Ari wailed.

Jules didn't know if she could go on. She was on the verge of collapsing herself as she absorbed Ari's pain through their bond. Looking up through the tears flowing profusely, she saw Sarah who nodded to her with an expression of infinite sadness. She mouthed the words 'Keep going. You're doing fine'. 'But I'm not' Jules thought. 'It's breaking my heart. How can I make her relive this horror?' When Sarah squeezed her hand in support, she broke out of the unending circle of empathy and pain. She was transported to the night before, she felt this towering rage at the man who hurt her Ari. She knew she had to go on. She took a deep breath and pulled Ari in tight.

"You're doing fine, baby. The bad man is gone. He can't hurt you anymore. You're safe now. Tell me what happened after."

"He said I could not tell anyone. He said he would hurt me real bad and he said he would hurt my mommy... Nooooooo! Not mommy!" Jules let her cry all she needed before urging her gently to continue. "I did not say anything. I did not tell! I swear! But mommy found my undies where I hid them because of the blood on them and she asked me if I had hurt myself. I did not tell! I swear! She was crying and I was crying. And then daddy came and mommy told him about the dirty undies and he got angry. I was afraid. Daddy never got angry with me. I thought he was angry at me. But I had done nothing wrong! I told him it was not my fault. I said the bad man had hurt me. I said he made me bleed and that was why my underwear was dirty. I was so afraid. I am so afraid, mommy." Ari cried out.

Jules was shaking with so much with rage she could barely think straight. Sarah had to grab her chin and forcibly turn her head toward her. She whispered harshly. "Get a hold of yourself, woman. You are scaring her. You need to project reassurance and love, not anger. Even I can feel it. Imagine how it is for her." She felt as if Sarah had slapped her in the face. Hard. She opened her eyes wide as she looked at the concerned woman. 'What am I doing? I'm only thinking of myself and how I feel when I should be thinking of my Ari. My poor Ari.'

Closing her eyes, Jules reached deep within and found the strength to shift the focus of her emotions. 'You are my Ari, my soul mate, my love, we are one now and forever.' She repeated the words in her mind over and over again, projecting all of her considerable inner strength and unconditional love through their bond, hoping she had not done irreparable damage.

After a moment, Ari calmed down and she was able to continue.

"When he saw he had scared me, daddy took me in his arms and he said it was okay and that he was not angry at me and he said the bad man would not hurt me anymore. And then I was not afraid. After a while, daddy went away and mommy stayed with me until I fell asleep. Then the bad man was gone and everything was better. But mommy was always sad and daddy too, and he was angry too. I did not understand. Then after the summer vacation, mommy said I was going to a different school. I did not want to go. All my friends were at my old school. I cried a lot. I cried when they left me at the new school. They said they would visit me every week-end. I did not want to stay. I wanted to go home. But they left me there all alone."

Jules wondered how much more she could endure as she listened to this young girl recount the saddest days of her life. She steeled her resolve, finding the strength in her mantra 'You are my Ari, my soul mate, my love, we are one now and forever.'

"Then when it was time to go to bed, I was so lonely. I could not stop crying. The mean girl in the bed next to mine shouted at me to shut up and the sister came and said I was a baby and to stop crying. But I was soooo lonely. And then this other girl came and she hissed at the mean girl and she went away and the nice girl got in her bed and she took my hand and she said that I was not alone. She said that she would be my friend. And I stopped crying because I was not alone anymore."

Jules looked up at Sarah who nodded. She took her hand and held it as she mouthed. 'Thank you.'

"And she was my bestest friend forever. She said her name was Sarah like her grand-mother and she said it meant she was a princess. I giggled and I said she did not look like a princess because she was not gentle and delicate and did not wear a beautiful gown and a crown. I said my name was Arianna because my mommy said it was such a beautiful name that people had made music for me. It is true, she showed me the albums and they were all called Arianna. It was nice but I did not like them so much because I could not understand the words."

"And when the older girls were mean to me my friend Sarah would come and call them bad names and she would tell them to stop. And because she was big and strong they were not mean to me anymore. I love my friend Sarah."

"I am tired mommy. Will you take a nap with me?"

"Yes, baby. Mommy will stay with you always. Close your eyes now and sleep. I love you, baby."

"I love you too, mommy."

Within seconds, Ari's breathing settled to a regular rhythm as the catharsis she had gone through took its toll and she fell into the deep sleep of emotional exhaustion.

Sarah gently got out of the bed, leaving her friend in the loving care of her wife. She stopped in the bathroom to splash some cold water on her face, but it did nothing for the lump in her throat or the tears falling continuously on her cheeks.

She knew Ari had taken a major step forward in reliving out loud those awful memories, but would it be enough? Could she deal consciously with the pain and misery she had repressed so long?

In her room, Sarah went to the bottom drawer of her linen cupboard. She pulled a small locked steel box and opened it. She took a yellowed piece of paper and though by now she knew its content by heart and had for years, she read it. 'BODY OF A MAN FOUND IN THE WOODS – When Henri Thibodeau, a gardener in the employ of renowned industrialist Douglas Monroe failed to show up for work several days running in early July, Mr. Monroe's majordomo signaled his disappearance to the authorities. No significant search was conducted as it was thought he had gone back to the rural region where he still had some family. His body was found yesterday afternoon by a hiker. He had been severely beaten and his body cruelly mutilated. This may have occurred before his death, but the medical examiner refused to confirm the information. A police investigation is under way. The man had no criminal record and no known friends. His neighbors say he was a loner who did not socialize much..."

'Rot in hell you bastard.' Sarah though savagely. 'I would have made you suffer so much more. You were lucky I was not the one wielding the knife.'

She put the newspaper clipping back in the box, locked it and stored it back in the drawer. Then she threw herself on her bed and pressed her face on the pillow so the others wouldn't hear her cry out her agony.

**********

When Ari woke from her nap she felt especially refreshed, invigorated. She felt as if a huge weight had been lifted from her spirit. She took a few minutes to ponder the significance of this feeling of liberation.

Sitting straight up in the bed, she let out a surprised "Oh!" Then, turning to the woman by her side she exclaimed, "My Jules, my love, you are here!" And she lunged to wrap her in her arms, buried her face in her neck, sobbing. "I was afraid you would never come back. When did you get here? You should have woken me."