The ASMRtist Ch. 01

"Okay," Stephanie said, nodding slowly.

"The point I'm trying to make, and taking the scenic route to get to," she added, mumbling just loud enough for Stephanie to hear, "is that ASMR has been really, really important for me in helping me, like, manage stress."

"Oh that's fantastic," Stephanie gushed sincerely.

"And you more than most."

Stephanie opened her mouth, fully intending to say something sarcastically humorous, again, but her vocal chords failed her completely. Her jaw fell slack.

"More than anyone, really, if I'm being honest."

Stephanie swallowed, trying to work moisture back into her mouth, and made a small croaking sound.

"Your ASMR content is... just... incredible." Kacey's voice cracked just a little, and she laughed to cover it. "The... the tingles are... you know, and then, at the same time, you're this woman who just owns her sexuality, and that's...

...That's powerful."

Stephanie nodded. She felt a bit foolish because nodding seemed to be all she was contributing to the conversation, but she wasn't sure how else to respond.

Kacey smiled nervously and shrank. "I know that was a lot. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to dump all that on you, but... I had to tell you how much your work means to me in case I never got another chance. It helps me deal with a lot, and that... well, I had to get it out. I'm sorry."

"It's okay," Stephanie said, blushing fiercely. "It's... um... It's rarer than you might think to get genuine feedback." Stephanie busied herself with dabbing at her lip with a napkin, and then decided to drop the pre-text. "Can you give me a minute?"

"Sh-sure," Kacey said, voice unsteady and eyes wide.

Stephanie nodded again, and stared down at the table. "Actually, would you like to go for a walk?"

"Sure."

Stephanie got up, very suddenly, and took a half step back around her chair before Kacey started following. She said nothing as she moved, winding her way through tables, chairs, and the various standing customers. Kacey kept up, and it wasn't until they were outside, standing next to each other, that Stephanie really noticed how much shorter Kacey was than her. The lift in her heeled boots certainly exaggerated that difference, but she guessed that there was at least six inches between them. If Kacey was more than five feet, then she was the Queen of Space and the Moon.

She set off down the sidewalk on Main Street, passing from the halo of one street light to the next. "Sorry," she said, after about a block. "Walking helps me think."

"It's okay," Kacey said quickly. "I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

"No, it's... it's not your fault. I have a complicated relationship with feedback, and like... hearing from fans."

"It seems like your videos always have a lot of really good comments."

"Mostly good," Stephanie said, tilting her head from side to side. "For a little while, when I first started, I used to delete comments I didn't like for whatever reason, but I'm more at peace with it now. If someone leaves a comment that they didn't like something, me deleting that doesn't... un-not-like that? For them? Did that make sense?"

"I think so," Kacey said, squinting. "It doesn't change their opinion."

"Right! And really, for the most part, I've kind of set myself up where I don't need a ton of approval. Like, I don't sell personalized videos, or give patrons the option to dictate what I make."

"I really respect that, actually. That's kind of what I was getting at earlier, about you owning your content? You're kind of making your own brand."

"Thank you," Stephanie said, smiling. "Even the good comments are hard to swallow sometimes, though. For a lot of reasons."

"Do you still get a lot of negative comments?"

"No. I mean, I never really got many negative comments, you know, I mostly got... do you know what a 'tribute' video is?" Kacey shook her head, and Stephanie laughed. "So, a tribute video is where a guy, it's like always a guy, a guy will take like... a photo..."

"Uh huh."

"...or in my case, they'll take a tablet, and they'll have my video playing. And they'll put the tablet down on a table, at the very edge. They'll stand, so that they've got their penis over the tablet..."

"...uh huh."

"...and they'll use their phone to record themselves masturbating and cumming onto the screen. Onto my chest. Most tribute videos, they'll show themselves cumming onto the girl's face so you know exactly who it is, but for me... you know... Anyway, I get some of those almost every time I upload a video."

"Gross," Kacey said, sneering.

"See, that's what I used to think too, but I've come around on them. I mean, I make videos for the intention of making people orgasm. Or..." Stephanie paused, looking up and thinking. "Well, it's one of two intended purposes. Inducing tingles and orgasms. I realized it was kind of hypocritical of me to shun the uh... the tangible result of my work."

"I... I guess."

"I mean, it's not like I go watch any of them, but I get them and it doesn't bother me."

"Can I ask you something else?" Kacey asked, fidgeting.

"Sure. Ask away."

"How did you get started making videos?"

"Well, I..." She paused and laughed. "Ordinarily this isn't the sort of thing I'd just come out and tell people, but given what you already know about me that ship has kind of sailed. I have a, um, a really high libido. Like, constant."

"Oh," Kacey said, but the shock wore off fast.

"I'm always thinking about it. When I was growing up and having jobs, I always found ways to get fucked here and there, sneaking off with coworkers... but... you know. That kind of... That kind of gets you a reputation."

"I can imagine," Kacey said, shrinking in on herself just a bit.

"It's part of the way my brain works that I see sex in everything. That, God... that used to kill hours and hours in fantasy. I'd have a normal interaction with, like, a waiter, you know? And then suddenly, in my head, we're in the bathroom stall. Or I'll be on a tech support phone call trying to fix my internet, and that slowly morphs into phone sex. You know, in my head. Every interaction segued into a fantasy for me."

"Huh," Kacey said, biting her lip.

"When I saw my first ASMR video and realized that it affected me, yanno, that I got tingles, I immediately imagined making 'sexy ASMR'." She smirked and made air quotes with her fingers. "It wasn't until I saw someone else doing it, and realized that it worked, that I gave it any serious consideration, but it occurred to me instantly. It's so... intimate... or at least, it has the capacity for that."

"Definitely," Kacey said, nodding quickly.

"After that, I experimented for little while, mostly trying to make videos with my phone. They're all terrible. I never did anything with them. When I realized I had bigger ambitions, I bit the bullet and bought some equipment on a credit card."

"And the rest is history?"

"Pretty much."

Kacey nodded, and they walked in silence for a little bit. The night air felt wonderful, with just the slightest bit of crispness to it.

Kacey bit her lip. "So..." Cheeks flushed. "When you would fantasize about the people you interact with..."

"Yeah?"

"What about cashiers?"

***

It was just like Stephanie had always pictured. The flurry of clothes. The staggered crab-walk through her home, bumping into tables and couches. Neither of them looking where they were going. Hands everywhere. All over Kacey. All over herself. Probing. Groping. Stripping. Feeling. Exploring. Stephanie moaned, orgasming first just after they got to the bed, but it barely took the edge off.

She crawled over the shorter girl, twisting to bring her lips to bear, and groaned when Kacey finally penetrated her channel. It was all she could to to keep her fingers and lips moving as she sank deep into the abyss.

Stephanie had a sensitive body, one that reacted strongly to just about any level of touch, and she did not have a 'too much' threshold that she'd ever found. When Kacey brushed her clit lightly, Stephanie moaned her pleasure. When Kacey pinched her nipples between the nails, Stephanie cried out with joy. When Kacey used three fingers to penetrate her, Stephanie screamed with heavenly delight.

It was impossible for Stephanie to keep track of it all. Who was the first to do what. It felt like they were mirroring each other at nearly every step, and the pulsating haze of blood rushing through her veins was too thick for Stephanie to do more than try to keep up.

After all, it had been almost eighteen hours since Stephanie had masturbated.

"Wow," Kacey moaned, as she fell flat on her back nearly an hour later. Sweat covered her from head to toe as she panted. Covered them both. "Holy mother of Wow." She groped blindly for the bedsheet, and pulled it up tight to her clavicle.

"Yeah," Stephanie said, rolling onto her side with her arm supporting her head. Her eyebrows rose a little when Kacey scooted closer to her.

"That was..."

"Really good?" Stephanie half-laughed, half gasped.

"...my first time."

"With a woman?"

Kacey looked over at her, moving only her eyes, and shook her head. "I um... I usually bail when it starts getting... um..."

Stephanie nodded, and reached over to run her nails across Kacey's brow. Collecting a few of the longer dark brown strands and pushing them back. "You get nervous."

"Yeah, and I think that... like... okay this is going to sound creepy, but it felt like we'd had sex before?"

Stephanie laughed loudly, with just a hint of nervousness.

"So, when you looked at me, it kind of felt..."

"It didn't feel scary?"

Kacey nodded, curling into Stephanie's body a tiny bit more. "I was going to say 'familiar or comfortable', but really, yeah." The taller woman slipped under the sheets as well, and inched closer until their bodies were in contact from hips to ankles. The closer she got, the more Stephanie felt compelled to wrap the smaller woman up in her arms and sing softly until she fell asleep. "That was a lot of new for me," Kacey said softly. "On many levels."

"It was new for me too." Stephanie leaned over and planted a soft kiss on Kacey's forehead, and for several minutes, they laid just like that. Quietly processing, with her breast pressed into Kacey's shoulder. "How are you doing?"

Kacey's eyes rolled up, looking at the wall above the head of the bed. "I'm... actively fighting down a panic attack. And at the same time, I'm really, really good."

"Okay."

"That—" Kacey stopped, and turned her head to clear her throat. Stephanie noted, but said nothing about, the shiny glimmer in Kacey's eyes. "Sorry. That wasn't your first time with a woman, was it?"

"Oh god no," Stephanie laughed. "No, I had my first girl at... fuck. Thirteen?"

"Wow."

"I'm sorry, am I being too open?"

"No," Kacey said. "I mean, it's a little intimidating, but I'd rather hear the truth."

"I had this plan, going into tonight, that I was only going to try to figure out if you were a risk to my identity."

"That's fair."

"Sure, but then when I got there, we just..." Stephanie's eyes went wide. "Oooh fuck, we just talked about me all night."

"It's okay," Kacey said, smiling.

"It's not okay! I don't even know your last name!"

"It's Chase," Kacey said, blushing and tucking her chin to her chest.

"Oh. Oh! K-C. Makes sense." She shook her head and tried to keep from berating herself. "This was a really... odd night? For me? Once I really thought about how much you'd seen of me..." She paused to gesture up and down the length of her body. "...I stopped seeing the point in not telling you, you know, like everything... and then it was just this non-stop torrent of things I don't usually get to talk about, so... I'm sorry for that."

"You don't have to be sorry for being honest." Kacey's eyes, a dark blue, were positively glowing.

"Okay, but I've gotta be allowed to be sorry for just going on about myself."

"Honestly," Kacey said, "it was really all I could handle to talk about me the little I did."

"That wasn't a little thing," Stephanie said softly, and Kacey nodded reluctantly. "Okay. Keep the focus on me?" Kacey nodded tightly. "Um. Okay. So, yes. You were, I think, asking about me with women?"

"Yeah."

"But I think you were getting at the bigger question?"

"Yeah." Kacey's voice got smaller and smaller.

"Okay. Um... So, I've only ever been in a couple relationships. All the serious ones were with older men, but no one even remotely serious in a while. Not since I started making videos."

"Is that, like... Is making videos enough for you?"

"Look at you. Digging deep." Stephanie smiled. "No. It's not. It takes the edge off, but it's very... It gets lonely."

"So you're not... with anyone?"

"Well..." She winced. "I do have a work hookup."

"I don't know what that means," Kacey said, slowly shaking her head.

"So this... this sounds worse than it is, but I fuck my boss."

"Oh."

"But it's not that bad. Olivia—"

"It's a woman?"

"Yes. Olivia is... weird. She's married, like, with a kid. Or two. I can never remember. Anyway, her and her husband have an agreement."

"Oh."

"Yeah, and, ugh. I probably shouldn't be telling you this either."

"No, it's... okay."

Stephanie became aware that, over the preceding sixty seconds, some separation was happening between them under the sheets. Little by little, Kacey was moving. "Okay, let me put it this way. When I make videos, it's creative and it's fun, and it's hard work, but at the end of the day, it's just masturbation."

"That makes sense," Kacey said slowly.

"With Olivia, it's like masturbating with someone else in the room. We... aren't... we aren't lovers. It's barely mutual. I've never made her orgasm, although I've tried."

"Really?"

"Between you and me, I think she just soaks up the experience of fucking a girl, and then uses that later with her husband." Stephanie paused for a breath, and tilted her head. "And, you know, more power to her. No judgement. More people should experiment with sex, you know, in a safe and meaningful way... but...I dunno. It's entirely physical, and it's entirely one directional. She makes me orgasm, and that's it. You know? And that... it sounds good on paper, but..."

"But it's still kind of lonely."

Stephanie nodded.

"Have you told her that?"

"No. I lie to her about being in other relationships so that she feels comfortable only giving me as little as she does."

"Which is... orgasms."

"No more, no less."

"Uh huh," Kacey said slowly, looking down and to her left. "That's actually kind of sweet. In a twisted way."

Stephanie nodded, and as a long pause settled into their conversation she felt that same pull to scoop Kacey up and protect her. "Okay, I'm just going to put this out there. Sometimes, the dismount for something like... whatever this is... can be kind of awkward. I want you to know you can go, whenever you're ready. I would like it if you stayed, but there's no pressure."

Kacey, who by this point had the sheets pulled up to her chin in a death grip, licked her lips and nodded. "Can I put some clothes on?"

"Yes, absolutely."

Kacey wiggled sideways, and sat on the edge of the bed. Stephanie tried to politely avert her eyes but she couldn't help soaking up Kacey's thin frame, or her subtle shape.

Kacey pulled up a pair of panties and threw on her black t-shirt, a loose fitting and extremely faded band shirt, and then turned around. She sat with her right foot hanging off the edge of the bed, and her left leg curled so that the sole of her foot was pressed against the inside of her knee.

"Feel better?"

"Yes," Kacey said, sounding like that was at least partially true.

"Can I offer you something? Food? Water?"

"Some... water."

Stephanie nodded as she got up, and headed straight for the kitchen.

"Your house is kind of dark," Kacey said, sounding like she was following.

Stephanie opened the cupboard and grabbed two glasses, and then moved to the sink "Yeah, I—" She looked down and growled. "Fuck!"

"What is it?"

"So... I keep the blinds drawn and the house kind of dark because I like to be naked at home. Like... all the time." She shook her head as she poured two glasses. "I'm sorry. I didn't even think."

"About what?" Kacey asked, as she came out of the hallway, into the living room.

"About whether or not me parading around in my birthday suit was a good idea."

"Okay," Kacey said, holding her hands out in front of her. "It's your house. You should do whatever you feel comfortable doing."

"Yeah, but I don't want to be insensitive."

"It's okay."

"I wasn't trying to tease you or anything."

"It's okay," Kacey repeated.

Stephanie took a deep breath and shook her head. "I have a problem with not thinking about other people sometimes. I get really, like, in my own head, and that comes off like I'm ignoring people, or that I don't care."

"It's okay."

"It's not okay, because I do care. I like you." Stephanie blinked, hearing the words come out of her mouth. Now who's wondering how late U-Haul is open? a little voice joked. "I like you, and now I feel like I need to put something on."

"Okay," Kacey said, smiling as she took one of the glasses of water. Stephanie swept out of the room, berating herself under her breath, and dug around in her bathroom linen closet. Once upon a time, there'd been a shower robe there somewhere.

"Ah ha!" Stephanie cried triumphantly. Her knee-length white robe felt nice as she slipped it on, and she felt a little better as she stepped back out of the bathroom. Kacey met her in the hall and handed her the second glass. "Thank you." Kacey smiled and took a sip. Stephanie looked down, ostensibly at her glass of water, and took in the shorter woman's legs. They had fantastic definition. Toned without being bulky. Stephanie licked her lips. "Would you like to see where I record?"

"Sure," Kacey gushed, rolling up on her toes. Stephanie grinned and turned the other way. Through the closed door at the other end of the hallway. "Oh... my..." Stephanie smiled as she stepped to the second bedroom of her house, and stepped to the side. Kacey moved past her slowly, as if in a dream. "I. Know. Every corner of this room." Eyes wide.

"Yeah, I use this space for almost everything. Sorry it's a bit of a mess."

The medium-sized room was a little on the crowded side, with stands for microphones and lights spread out and others lined up against the wall. The setup, at that moment, had a desk in the corner and a few pieces of recording equipment spread around it. Kacey bit down hard on her lip. "You know how some people don't like to look behind the scenes, because they'll see that, like, I dunno, the buildings are fake, or the scenery in their fantasy isn't as deep as it looks at first? They don't like it when the illusion is shattered? I'm not one of those people."

Stephanie smiled as she leaned. "I did some videos out in the rest of my house when I first started, but now I try to do as many of them in here as I can."

"That cooking show one," Kacey said, snapping her fingers. "I remember that. That was..."

"It was better porn than it was ASMR," Stephanie said, smirking. "Not that there's anything wrong with that, but it's not what I want to do. Back here, I have much better control over ambient noise." Kacey went still and cocked her head. "It's an old house, so the walls are thicker, and this room is way in the back so there's less neighbors and traffic coming through."