The Assassin and the Sorceress Ch. 06

I was on the cave floor now, elbows resting on my thighs, my head sunken. The cave floor hurt my knees, but I didn't care. I didn't remember when I had decided to kneel. My fists were clenched in anger, my lips quivering with sadness. How did he know all these things about Joseph, though I hadn't visited the cave in years? I didn't care. I knew what he said was true. It was a terrible truth, but I could not deny it. That was why everyone hated me the way they did.

"But this is your strength, Morgana! You should never give in to their falsehoods. Because you have seen true wisdom, these petty things will never make you happy."

"Then what? How CAN I ever be happy if they refuse to love me for who I am?"

"I have a gift for you."

"A gift?"

"Power. More power than any mortal presently wields on this earth."

"But you just said..."

"The power I offer is different. This power is absolute. You will not need to play their games, because none will be able to contend with you. In the hands of the Lord of Ash, he would make himself king over this earth. In the hands of a priest, he would destroy all other faiths until his own narrow and erroneous idea of God is the only one men would dare profess openly. In the hands of Joseph, he would claim every beautiful young woman in the land for himself.

"But in the hands of one as innocent and wise as you... it would be an implement of justice. The wicked would fear you and the righteous would love you! Because you have born so much pain your whole life yet never once faltered from the path you set out upon, I know that you are the one deserving of this!"

"Deserving of what? What is it?"

"Ah, patience, Morgana. This is a very dangerous weapon. You are still mortal, and a mere nineteen years old. You have so much potential for greatness... ah, I can almost smell it on you. However, along with your mortality comes a certain weakness: the potential to fall. So innocent and pure; your light dazzles me! Yet you can still be corrupted. It is a small chance, but one that must be guarded against still. At all costs.

"What do you mean? What will stop me from misusing this power?"

"You must bind yourself to me. We will make a pact. During the remainder of your mortal life, you shall be free to live as you choose. You can serve who you will, oppose who you will, and pursue what ends you find worthy of pursuit. After the span of your mortal life, you will rejoin with me, and together we will do great things. For you see, my purposes in this pact go far beyond this finite mortal world. We have both been cast away from what passes for society. It is my will that the outcasts will come together and form a new society, more perfect than the ones that cast them out. You will be joined with many others much like yourself. With this end in mind, I know you will stay true to yourself in your mortal life despite the power you will have over the physical world. What do you say, Morgana? Will you swear yourself to me?"

"I... I will. How do I do that?"

"Simply speak a promise to me. If this promise comes from the bottom of your heart, I will know it. The memory of the soul is eternal, so no paper or ink will be needed to record what the mortal mind may forget, for the eternal soul shall not. Look inward and speak true, just as you have always done."

"I will. But first, I think I have a name for you."

"Already? Then speak my name."

"You have told me truths that I have sought my whole life. I cannot refute a word you have said to me. What you have told me is true, more true than anything anybody has ever said to me before. I have decided to name you after Veritas, the Roman goddess of truth. You sound more man than woman, though. How do you like... Verus?"

"Verus? It suits me well. Now, there exists an objective truth to the universe, independent of any perception or opinion. Even my own immortal perceptions see only my own subjective version of it. While truth is not what I am, it is what I seek. I am flattered you have found me worthy of such a name. I shall be Verus to you, then."

"Very well, Verus! Now, shall I make my oath to you?"

"Please."

I half closed my eyes, thinking deeply about what I wanted to say and tried to let the words flow deep from my heart. It was almost like saying a prayer, except this time I was praying to a being that I knew.

"Verus, you have shown me so much in this short hour. I have never in my life found anyone more worthy to serve than you. I shall accept your gift of power. After this life, after the death of my mortal body, my spirit shall join you and serve you for eternity!" I tried to think of what I should say next, but no more words came to me.

"That will do, Morgana, and thank you. Your words were sincere, indeed. Now, all that remains to seal the pact is for you to accept my gift. Behold!"

Suddenly, the wall of the cave to my left cracked with a deafening sound. Rock fell away from the wall, leaving a small recess. I shrieked as the rubble settled. Inside the recess was a stone. It looked like a geode, but too perfectly round to be naturally formed. Mouth open in awe, I approached it. It was light grey in color and about the size of a large apple. It fit easily between my hands, though it was surprisingly heavy for its size. Had this been buried in the solid rock all along? It must have been there for ages!

"What is this? Did you make it?"

"It is called the Oculus, for it will help you to see the world as it is. I helped to make it, though its creation was beyond even my skill alone. I was the first to see the need for such a tool, though the task required the talents of many of my kin."

"I thought you were an outcast like me..."

"I was. However, there were other outcasts like me. It took time for me to find them, but they were there. You will find there are others like you as well, come time. You can already see the hearts of men as they are, however the Oculus has a different power. It sees the physical world as it is made up, in ways that your mortal senses could never. You will be able to see the objective truth of your physical world. With that also comes the power to control the substance of your world. It can create or destroy. The choice is yours."

"How do I use it?"

"Gaze into it. Not just with your eyes, but with your mind and soul. Find its window to infinity, and dare to look through!"

On the top of the Oculus there was a single, large facet, much like the pupil of an eye. I had thought it was pure black, but as I held it up to my face I saw that it had depth. More depth than should have fit in its volume, it seemed. As I brought it closer and closer within my vision, I realized there was no end to the expanse within the stone! I gazed into infinity as he had told me! And infinity stared back! It seemed to draw me in. My universe shattered! Or at least my perception of it had. I felt like I had transcended my physical form. Was I even in the cave anymore?

Suddenly I felt a presence like I had never felt before. The presence was overwhelming; I wanted to look away but I could barely move! Another mind touched my own. This mind was as vast as the infinity inside the Oculus. How did my mind not burst into tatters as this other mind filled it?

Somehow my mind endured. This new mind continued to reveal itself to me, and I began to understand things about it. The Mind of the Oculus had formed a permanent connection with me. This alien mind was not Verus' mind at all. It may have been even more vast than his, however it did not seem to be alive like he was. Though it knew vast amounts of information, surely more than the collective human race would ever know, it had no feelings or desires, no motivations of its own. It was a mind without a soul.

The Mind of the Oculus was now my mind, but not in the sense that it was a part of me. My thoughts were still distinctly my own. No, it was mine in the sense of possession. It was a tool, and I was its owner, its commander. I could wield it as an arm swings a hammer. Having no will of its own, my will was its will.

I looked up at last, towards the spot in the cave that I had considered to be the Verus' location. The Oculus had finally stopped speaking to me, though I felt that it was still there, that I could call to it at any time and it would come.

"That was incredible! I've never imagined something like that could exist! Thank you! Thank you!"

"I know of none more deserving of it. Now, you must see how it works. Look at something with your eyes, and then, also look at it with the Oculus."

I found a small rock on the floor of the cave, a piece of rubble from when the wall had crumbled. I thought about the alien mind that I had sensed, called out for it, and there it was again. It obediently answered my call in a heartbeat! The Mind of the Oculus looked where I looked, and what it saw I can hardly describe!

While my own eyes saw just an image of colors and shades that represented the small rock to my mind, the Oculus saw the rock in its true physical form. I had never imagined in my life that something so seemingly mundane could be so infinitely complex! The Oculus showed me the rock down to its tiniest bits of matter, arranged in an intricate web and interconnected by forces I had never heard of but the Oculus understood perfectly. The sheer size of what the Oculus saw! There were more pieces to it than all the stars in the sky, a number my mind couldn't have distinguished from infinity, yet the Oculus saw and counted each piece as easily as I could count my fingers, watching and accounting for every last particle at once.

Could these have been the "atoms" theorized by Democritus all those hundreds of years ago, the indivisible smallest pieces of substance? But if so, they were nothing like what he predicted, nothing like it at all!

All this I experienced myself, yet I did not. I knew what this vast mind thought of, yet my own mind was still only human. Therefore, when I broke my gaze, my own mind separated from the Oculus. That incomprehensibly large understanding of the rock's existence had left me, as had my ability comprehend that much information. What I was left with was only the infinitesimal impression of infinity my mortal mind could carry with it. It was like filling a tea cup under a waterfall. It could certainly hold a small amount of the waterfall, but bring it away and overturn it, and it could only reproduce the tiniest trickle.

Even that tiny trickle, however, was enough to change my perceptions of the world forever. That rock, and in fact this entire physical world, was nothing like how I had perceived it my whole life! That solid rock was not solid at all, but made up of maddeningly large numbers of inconceivably small parts. And the smallest of these parts were not even solid pieces themselves, but were insubstantial ripples upon the surface of existence. Substance was not real! Solid matter was a construct of the mind, an illusion! Was anything in the world even real?

No, it had to be real! The physical world did exist, just not as my eyes observed it, and I was fine with that. A forest is made up of trees, though no single tree is a forest by itself. Similarly, these tiny ripples I had seen, though they are not substance themselves, make up substance as their sum! My existential crisis seemed to have been solved.

"Morgana," Verus began, suddenly. "You are quickly learning to see through the Oculus, however seeing is not all it was meant to do. Everything it saw for you, it can also control. Look through it again, but this time, try to change something. Do anything you want to do."

I looked at the rock again. The moment I called for the Oculus, its mind was there with me again. I told it to look at the rock again. Just as before, it beheld every last particle of its substance and every force upon it. Most of the forces within the rock were holding its form together, however a few of the weakest ones pulled it downward towards the earth. Even my own mortal mind understood these forces to be gravity.

I ordered the Oculus to sever these ties, and it did. To my amazement and joy, my own eyes watched as this rock rose up above the cave floor on its own accord, floating weightless in midair! My mind's interactions with the Oculus had been impressive enough, however finally seeing its effects with my own eyes made it seem so much more real to me!

An uncontrollable smile came across my face! Suddenly, it couldn't have bothered me that my mother had beaten me this very morning, or that the only man I ever loved was betrothed to another. I had just witnessed magic! Not just witnessed it, but controlled it! I laughed a joyous laugh, such a sound as I have never made in my life before!

Again, I told the Oculus to change something. This time I ordered it to create some forces of its own. The rock suddenly flew across the cave and dashed against the wall hard enough to crack it in two!

"Very good, my friend!" said the voice. "But it looks like you broke your little toy in two. I'll tell you another thing you can do. You let the Oculus observe that piece of stone when it was whole. It has a perfect memory, and it remembers the rock exactly as it was. Retrieve the shards, and tell the Oculus to reassemble them as they were."

I did as he said. The Oculus certainly had remembered the original form of the rock. I retrieved the pieces of rock with my hands and held the broken edges together. I gave the command, and the Oculus reformed all of the broken bonds. The rock was whole again, as if it had never been broken!

"Well done, Morgana. But what if you had lost one of the shards, or all of them? Have the Oculus build you a new one!"

I looked to the Oculus' memory, and found that rock still stored away. I set the rock down and cupped my empty hands in front of me, and beheld the empty air within them. The air had a remarkably different arrangement of pieces, but it was all made of the same pieces none the less. I had the Oculus rearrange the atoms of the air into the configuration of stone. There wasn't enough, so the Oculus simply created more. I had always wondered if it was impossible to create something from nothing, but the Oculus knew this and more. The universe was not capable of creating more substance, however the Oculus' power came from outside this universe.

I watched in awe as the rock continued to form and expand within my own hands! The Oculus pulled new matter out of oblivion, and in several seconds there was an exact copy. I retrieved the original and compared them. It was uncanny! There was not a single discernable difference!

"This is amazing! I'm doing actual magic! Verus, thank you! Thank you so much! I... I can have anything I want! I can have more books, and I don't even have to steal them! Just look at it and make a copy of it! Can I do that with food, too? I could feed my family, the whole village, maybe even the world! Or gold! If I find even one gold coin, I can make myself rich!"

"An innocent thought, but it will not go as you intend. You mustn't let them know of your power yet or they will fear you, despite your generosity. You must not upset the entire balance of life, not for your village, not even for your family. Any treasures you create, create them for yourself, at least in the short term. There will come a time to reveal yourself, and you will know it when it comes. For now, bestow justice upon the selfish and the vain with subtlety.

"There is little more I can teach you of the power of the Oculus than it can teach you itself. Take it and go. Practice with it, and become a master of its art. You may return here any time you wish, but for now, you have some exploring to do!"

"I will! Thank you, Verus, thank you for everything!"

"Thank you, Morgana."

I took the Oculus and the rock I had made from air and nothing, and I left the cave. For an hour, I walked through the woods, seeing things as I had never seen them before! I had thought the rock was complex, but that was nothing compared to a living thing, even a blade of grass. The intricate beauty of it all, the perfection! The Oculus saw not just how it was made, but how it worked. It saw cause and effect! It saw the forces that drew water up the many tiny channels in the stem of a plant to keep it alive, saw how the sunlight hit its leaves and gave it energy. It saw how the eyes of a crow sent signals to its brain so that it could know the location of a worm, and how the nutrients of that worm would be absorbed into the crow's body later, even though it had not happened yet.

It is difficult to describe seeing things through a mind greater than my own. My own mind did not see these things; I just knew that the Oculus did see them. As soon as I broke the link, the Oculus's perceptions and memories were removed from my being, leaving behind only what impressions my limited mind could hold; that small teacup from the waterfall. Yet while they were connected, my mind could somehow command the Oculus with the same level of precision in which it operated.

I was not limited to just copying things I had seen exactly as they were. As soon as I was comfortable, I sped up the growth of a flower, letting it finish developing and bloom in mere minutes. What the plant lacked, I provided: extra sunlight for energy, or more water or nutrients from the soil. The Oculus understood what it would need, and I told it to make these things. Another crow came along, looking for a worm. I provided one, but not a copy of the one I had seen earlier. I made a bigger one! I looked at the organism with a sense of pride as I held it in my hands, but my pride was broken the next moment when I noticed it wasn't moving. I couldn't figure out why. All of its organs seemed to be intact.

Well, that was fine. I would get the hang of creation eventually. I tossed the lifeless worm to the crow, who snatched it up gratefully. Even if I couldn't make it alive on my first attempt, at least the crow found it just as appetizing as the real thing. I tried again, but this time I made an identical copy of the worm I had observed, piece for piece. This one was also stillborn. What was I leaving out?

Instead of tossing this one to the crow, I analyzed the worm, trying to find the problem. Yes, all the pieces seemed to be in place. But then I noticed that, while the pieces had been put together correctly, nothing had set them into motion. Each organ, though perfectly healthy, seemed to be waiting for the command from another organ that was also still. I seemed to be missing that final spark of life. I was strangely sad, watching my second attempt at creating life lie limp and dead in my hands. But of course, it was just a worm, I reminded myself, and not even one created by nature at that.

After I had tossed the second worm to the crow, I arose from the kneeling position I was in, only to yelp in pain as I absent-mindedly pushed off from my knees with both hands. My half broken forearm throbbed with new pain. I looked at my swollen, painful arm and it seemed to be getting worse. For the first time, I decided to let the Oculus look at my own body.

Looking at my skin, I saw the weave of my own flesh, the fibers of my muscles, and the structure of my bones. It was sometimes tricky to make sense of what the Oculus saw in terms that my own mind could identify it, but it was easy to see the swelling in the tissue around where my mother had hit me. The patterns were just too different from the surrounding healthy flesh. There was more activity around the injury. Structures I couldn't begin to identify darted around, attempting to heal the damage, like a hornets' nest coming alive in response to a thrown rock. Then, I saw the bone underneath it, noting a clear break that went about a third of the way through its thickness. I perceived the jagged edges and how they had once fit together.