The Barkeep

"I don't understand, and if you go, It's going to be a serious hurt to our marriage. I'm serious, Cali. Don't do it. Don't do this," I said.

We eventually called an end to the discussion and I tried to drift off, but couldn't. I got up and headed downstairs. I was naked, but I didn't even realize it. Downstairs, I plopped onto the couch and thought. This whole night. This whole night of sex was to get me to a place where I would say yes to what she really wanted—another man. Was I nuts? Maybe, but I had never been so frightened.

******

We spoke little the following morning. She'd come down and found me still awake, still naked, with bags under my eyes and tried to comfort me, but I pushed her away and went upstairs. She called after me.

"Rick, it's not a big deal. You have to understand," she said. I didn't even turn around to acknowledge her words. I went into the room and headed for the shower.

She went to work and I settled in to brooding about her and this old boyfriend. It was Saturday, she'd had to work, but I was off. Her "date" was for tonight. The fun filled night we had had the night before now seemed like a set up to me. I was not happy, and my stomach was churning.

That evening I was standing in the front room when she came down the stairs. She was way too beautiful for mere conversation, and I said so "Just conversation, huh?" I looked at her with steel in my eyes.

She smiled a sympathetic smile, "please," she said, "I love you." She tried to kiss me on the cheek, but I held her off. She frowned and looked angry, but she just turned and walked out. She got into her car and drove off. I made the call.

Cali and I had argued, discussed, and generally gone back and forth over this Howard Colson guy, and now she'd finally decided to shine me, us, on and go out with him no matter what I thought, wanted, or needed. Well, I wasn't sitting still for it. I had made arrangements late the night before, arrangements she didn't know about. I would not be her little wimp husband. I would not. Fantasies were one thing, real life was a whole different kettle of fish!

One thing about being a bartender, I knew a lot of people, including people who could help me out in situations like this.

"Jim, heads up, she's on her way," I said to the man on the other end of the line... "Good, please don't lose her," I begged, "I want to have it all pics, sound whatever you can get."

Jim was a private-eye and well thought of by the cops I knew who had recommended him. He wasn't a regular at the club, but he and his wife Marci did drop by now and again. Marci worked at the clinic with Cali, in the office part of it. Fact is Jim Blaine used to be cop, robbery division when last so employed. He knew the game. I knew he'd stay on her tail and find out all he could. My only option now was to wait.

I decided to head out to the Head Trip. I wasn't on duty tonight, it being Saturday, but I needed a drink. Jim would let me know when she got home. I didn't want to be home when she got there. Let her worry a bit, that is if she even cared enough to worry. Okay, again, maybe I was being childish, but I was in the right, damn it! She'd want to know where I'd been, but she could just wonder; I wouldn't be telling her nuthin' until I was ready.

I got a call from Jim at 2:00AM. I asked him to drop by the Head Trip.

"She's on her way home, I followed her till I knew that where she was going," said Jim.

'Yeah, she told me she wasn't going to be too late, so much for her promises," I said. I had to smile, at that; it was a major mistake and she was going to have to a lot of explaining; I wondered what she would say to justify it: a flat tire maybe, right. "Did yuh get anything?"

"Yes, and no," said Jim. "I got a lot, pics, sound; she didn't fuck or suck him, but they made out in the back seat of his car for damn near two hours. And, he did have her top off and his hand up her skirt and all over her tits."

"The audio?" I said.

"Yeah, you came up a couple of times. She told him you were a good husband. He asked some stuff about you, but she cut him off after her asked a couple of personal questions," said Jim.

"Like what?" I said.

"What you looked like. And..." Jim stopped.

"And what?' I said.

"How long your dick was," said Jim.

"What the fuck!" I said.

He's smooth. He asked about that like a joke, so to speak. He also asked if you were treating her right. It was then that she told him that you were off limits. I think she was feeling guilty talking about you. There is no doubt he'd like to get into her pants, but he wasn't pushing it too much tonight. I'd guess you'd want to take measures to see he never does though," said Jim.

"Yeah, what kind of measures?" I said. "Divorce," the emotional bitterness was seeping through my defenses.

"Rick, I guess that's between to you and her. No, I was thinking—well, I was thinkin' you could let me investigate him. He's clearly a predator. I've seen his kind before.

"You know he's a doctor, right?" said Jim.

"Yeah, she told me. I think she's in love with his money. She always was a material girl," I said.

"You goin' home now?" said Jim.

"No, I'm gonna hang out here. I won't go back until morning. I got a cot in the back, I'll just sack out here after Herman closes up," I said.

"Okay," said Jim. "Do you want me to check up on the guy then?"

"Yeah, go for it, Jim. Who knows maybe there's some dirt there," I said.

"Always is, pal, always is."

******

I woke to the sound of glass breaking. I got up from the cot I'd spent the night on in the storage room, and stretched. I looked out into the empty bar, and I saw Hilda cleaning up some broken glass on the floor. I shook my head. Hilda broke a glass at least once a week. It was almost a tradition anymore.

I stunk, I'd have to go home and shower before I did anything else. That that would mean I would have to face my wife, not an enticing thought to me. Helluva thing, a man being loath to be around his wife. Afraid to let her see his distress. Well, there was nothing for it. At least she hadn't fucked and sucked him, but she would; I was sure of it. It was just a matter of time. And, when it came to that, did it even matter anyway. She'd already fucked me over, and I was about to make a decision.

I'd turned my cell of the night before; I turned it back on now. I had three text messages and four calls from her. Well, to heck with her. I hope she sweat at least a little.

It was on the way home that I decided on what it would be that I would do, at least for the moment. I would simply ignore her and her asshole doctor until I got the hard copy from Jim. I was going to prepare for whatever was going to happen. I was already thinking of divorce. I hadn't quite gotten to the place where I'd finally decided yet, but she'd disrespected me, and next to actually fucking or sucking the guy that was as bad as it got.

I pulled into the driveway and parked. Entering through the front, I heard her puttering in the kitchen. I headed for the stairs, I only wanted to shower, get some clothes and head out again; I still wasn't ready to deal with her. I'd decided to get a room near work and stay the hell away from her away from her. Her antics had soured my stomach and I just couldn't get over what she had done to me; I figured it would only get worse, and I was already a near basket case emotionally.

"Rick! Where have you been," she said, emerging from the kitchen. I just kept heading up the stairs. I didn't want to talk to her, not yet.

"Rick," she shouted. I just kept heading up the stairs.

She followed me and tried to come into the bathroom with me, but I locked her out.

"Rick, we need to talk. Nothing happened. I promise nothing happened," she lied through the door.

I got in the shower and let the steaming water wash over me. It helped reduce the tension that had been holding me in thrall since the night before.

After showering, shaving, and doing my usual bathroom routine, I came out. She was sitting on the bed waiting.

"Rick, you're being childish. Howard and I didn't do anything. You have to believe me," she said.

For the first time since arriving home I had something to say to her. "I do not believe you, Cali. And you disrespected me. I'm having a real hard time dealing with what you and that asshole did to me. He must think I'm a first class wimp. Well if so, he'd be wrong. I've decided to get a room for a few days while I made some decisions. Oh, and tell me, did the length of my cock impress him, or is he a lot bigger than me."

"Huh?" she paled. How—what—what—are you talking about? Decisions? What decisions?" she said, changing the subject.

"What do you care? You made yours without caring what I thought or wanted or needed. I'm gonna do the same. I'll call or come by in a few days. You take care you hear."

"Rick, you're acting crazy. It was just dinner. We didn't do anything bad." I couldn't help it; I had to hit her with something. What's your definition of bad, Cali. Would letting him strip your top and feel you up under your skirt not qualify? Wouldn't any of that qualify as being bad? Tell me, I'd really like to know." She sat stalk still and in shock.

"How..."

"Shut the fuck up, Cali. And get the hell outta here while I get myself together. The sight of you makes me sick!" She started to sob, but she got up and left me alone. I hated hitting back at her like that, but what the hell; she'd done worse to me.

I continued to dress; and then, I packed my old military duffel bag and headed downstairs. She was waiting downstairs for me.

"Rick, I can explain. Please, if all of our years together, our children, mean anything let me have this one chance to explain," she begged.

"No," I said. And I left.

I took a room at the Round Tree about a half mile from work. It had the advantage of my being able to walk to work unless it was promising rain, so I did all the following week.

******

Away from the house I concentrated on my workouts; it helped me control if not totally eliminate, the emotional pressure I was under.

Cali didn't wait for me to call me; she called me every day at work, and I took her calls, but refused to talk to her about anything substantial. So far she had not apologized or promised to stop seeing the asshole. She just kept saying it was all a mistake and that she could explain. Yeah right, I thought.

On Friday I got a call from Jim. I told him to come by "my" office.

"Howdy, pard," he said.

I smiled and waved him to a chair. "Whatcha got?" I asked.

"Well, I don't know if you know it or not, but he's a plastic surgeon. But, he evidently is not a real good one. He's here because where he came from they're looking for him real serious like," said Jim.

"I don't understand," I said.

"He screwed up several women's face lifts, and charged them a bundle to do it. There's litigation brewing for him if they can get him to return, but the odds are that he isn't about to. He'll still lose his old house and whatever goes with it, but that's nothing compared to what they can get him for if he returns and loses the court case," said Jim.

I nodded. "I doubt if Cali will want to hang with him when she finds out," I said confidently.

"I wouldn't think so," said Jim. But, Rick, I have more. She's been having lunch with him every day this week. She looks concerned, but he is doing his best to comfort her. He definitely wants in her pants. He's telling her how sorry he is that you got the wrong idea. He's actually laying the ground work to put it all on you, the blame that is."

"How the hell do you get all of this recorded?" I said, really wondering if not exactly caring.

"They always eat at the same place, and I have directional stuff that picks it all up. A techie friend of mine is the genius behind the miracle of sound," he said, laughing.

That first Saturday since her date, I went home.

******

I was in the kitchen sipping a glass of merlot when Cali came in. She wasn't alone, and it wasn't her doctor. I stared and she froze. The guy she was with could not be faulted for stupidity; he saw the look on my face and cut country muy pronto.

"Rick," she finally managed as soon as the young man had gone.

"Yeah, Rick," I said, mimicking her. "New boy toy?"

"Rick, he was just coming by to help me with something," she said, lamely.

"Oh, I'm sure," I said. "I should ask where's doctor Howard."

"I've stopped seeing him. Rick, I'm sorry. What we did, and it wasn't all that much, really, was wrong. I don't know how you found out about us making out, but—you were right. I've been talking to Howard, and I told him I couldn't see him socially anymore. I told him we hadn't been fair to you, my husband." I nodded. She at least was telling the truth now; that was a change.

"Rick, Dan really was here to help me with something. Will you help me instead, since you obviously scared him off," she said.

"What this so-called something," I said, laying bare my cynicism.

She led me to the bathroom; it was totally flooded. I went outside and cut off the water. Twenty minutes later I had the problem isolated, and half an hour later than that the plumbing was fixed.

"Nothing like having a man around the house," she said smiling. "Rick, will you come home. I promise to be good to you."

Maybe it was fixing the pipe. Maybe it was her tone of voice. But, for some reason I felt it was time to try and get by her disrespecting me and get on with our lives. There was still a trace of bitterness in the pit of my stomach, but I nodded without smiling.

She came to me, embraced me, and kissed me—on the cheek. I thought that that was significant: why not the lips? I just didn't know what to think of her or us anymore. My stomach, my heart, my head were all in turmoil. Time would tell.

******

For the next several months things were pretty much normal around the house. Each day we got up, went to work, came home, and maybe twice a week we got it on sexually; well, that was better than it used to be. We did still talk about some of our fantasies, but we talked about them as fantasies, not things that were likely to ever happen. We did it, the talking, to try and spice things up a little. We had, again, in the past done some light role playing; but now we were at times even considering each other's darker thoughts and day dreams. Even with all of that, and most of it was stimulating for the both of us, I was fearful that sooner or later something had to give. And it finally did.

One day she really got to me.

"What's the matter big boy? Still jealous of Howard?" she said. I had been having episodes of depression since the blowup, and every once in a while it really had me down. She wasn't stupid. She knew the incident was still on my mind, sometimes even when we screwed. "I thought by now we could have put that little incident behind us."

I looked at her with bitterness in my eyes. "Little incident?" I said, gnashing my teeth.

"Oh my, you still are jealous, aren't you. Rick, let it go. I shouldn't have gone out with him. I'm sorry I upset you so. Really. Can't you just accept my apology? I promise, that from now on, baby, anything I do you'll be right there with me, no more leaving you out. I know now how big a mistake that was, and I am truly sorry. Forgive me, okay? Please?"

I still hadn't said anything. Something she'd just said left me feeling uneasy. What did she mean by, "...anything I do..."? I decided I was probably reading more into it than was meant, but I felt uneasy all the same. Truth told, I hadn't felt relaxed even one day since coming back.

"I guess," I finally said without enthusiasm. I could see she was feeling concerned at my tone. I decided she really had not realized how big a thing it was for me for her to go out with someone else, an old boyfriend, and cut me totally out of the equation. But there was something else too, something she wasn't telling me.

I had a premonition that something new and not good was in the air; I just couldn't guess what. As I soon discovered, I didn't have long to wait long.

Saturday came around, as it has a habit of doing, and I was off. Cali was in a jovial mood. I was getting ready to cut the grass and putter around in the yard.

"Honey, we've not gone anywhere in a while; let's go out tonight," she said.

"What did you have in mind," I said, not really feeling like going anywhere.

"I don't know, dinner and dancing maybe," she suggested.

I looked at her as though she had an agenda. She picked up on it.

"Honey bear, it'll be just you and me. Or, we could invite the Blaines," she said, with confidence. "We need to do something to get out of the house once in a while. If you don't like my suggestion, I'll listen to whatever you'd rather do." That got me. At least she was giving me a choice. Ha! I shoulda known better.

When Cali came down stairs, after having taken twice as long as usual to get ready, I was stunned. She on the other hand was just flat out stunning. She wore a low cut black sheath, no bra, and if I was any judge, no panties either. Her makeup was flawless, and her ruby lips so inviting that I couldn't resist. I grabbed her and kissed her so hard I was afraid I'd hurt her.

"You look amazing," I said, in a voice choked with emotion. Maybe after tonight, I thought, I could finally relax.

"Thanks," she said, "I kinda gathered you thought I looked all right." She was smiling broadly at my exhibition of passion. "You look pretty good yourself, mister." I knew I looked okay, but not as good as her, not even.

As we entered the Cloister, an upscale night club catering to the professional set, I saw several faces I knew from the Head Trip. I shook hands with them as we passed to our table following the maître d'.

The food was good and our conversation light as we ate and watched couples begin to filter out onto the dance floor. The band had been playing mostly romantic slow songs until the dinner hour began to wane. Soon there were some fast songs interlaced with the romance. I asked Cali to dance. The eyes of a dozen men appraised my date, as we passed their tables; I was feeling very proud.

We got through two fast songs and two slow songs before Cali started getting a lot of attention from the unattached males in attendance. For the next two hours she was pretty much monopolized by would be suitors; I managed only one more dance with her during that time, and it was a fast one, so we couldn't really talk. I was not real happy.

Finally, looking winded, she came back to the table with a smirking cowboy in tow. I didn't like the look of him, and that uneasy feeling of months before returned with a vengeance. I knew my face had darkened. She didn't see it.

"Honey, this is Mel Cort, he's a doctor at the clinic," said Cali happily. "I've asked him to join us. You don't mind, do you honey?" she said. The good doctor was already seating himself, so I didn't bother to answer; Cali picked up on it, the good doctor pretended not to. Reaching across the expanse of the table, he offered me his hand. I shook it.

"Nice to meet Cali's husband, finally," he said.

"You too," I said, feeling I had to say something even though I didn't really want to.

The next twenty minutes were filled with light conversation, mostly about Dr. Cort's skill as an internist. I think I may have gotten in three words edgewise during the period. I saw the band was about to strike up after a short break, and I asked Cali if she'd like to dance.

"Oh, Rick, I promised this dance to Mel. You don't mind, do you honey?" My face must have fallen a foot. Hurt didn't even begin to describe my feelings.

"What!" I said a little too loudly. I sank back into my seat feeling embarrassed. Having no real choice, I forced a smile. "No, of course not, but save some for me, okay?" I was trying to save face and doin a poor job of it.