The Barkeep

She gave me a concerned look, but recovered almost immediately. "Of course, dear. Love you," she said, wrinkling her brow as she said it. With that she let herself be drawn onto the dance floor while I continued to sit and brood.

For the next 45 minutes the two of them danced and talked and laughed and never left the floor. It was almost 11:00PM, and I was thinking getting my wife and leaving. I was jerked out of my reverie by a female voice coming from behind my left shoulder.

"Hi, Rick. Not working tonight?" said the woman.

"No, I always have Saturday's off Sally. You should know that by now," I said smiling; Sally was a regular at the Head Trip. "Say, you wanna dance?"

"Why yes as a matter of fact. I was coming over to ask you," she said.

As we adjourned to the dance floor, I saw Cali returning to the table with her new good doctor. I decided to ignore them.

"I noticed that guy monopolizing your honey," said Sally as we danced to a slow one. I pulled her in close.

"Yeah, whaddya gonna do when your wife is miss popularity," I said.

"Why dance with other girls," she giggled. "You know, get a little revenge!"

"Not my style, Sally. I'm dancing with you because I want to dance and she's been busy that's all," I said.

"Well, good; I'm glad your motives are pure," she laughed.

We danced three in a row the last one fast, and then I returned her to her table and made to go back to mine. My wife and her friend were laughing and carrying on as I approached. The smirk, and that's the only way to describe it, on the face of my rival was very provocative. Cali seemed nervous. I got mad.

"Is there some reason for that smirk, Mel baby," I said, as I took my seat.

"Huh?" he said suddenly losing his smirk.

"No—well-I—I mean..." he stuttered.

"Well, then lose it," I said. I had decided I didn't like him, and I wasn't going for the intimidation stated or unstated.

"Rick! Have you lost your mind," asked Cali.

"Not yet, but give me time," I said. The good doctor was trying to figure out what to do. For my part, I was feeling good.

"Rick..." Cali started

"Look, Cali, whatever it is. I ain't goin' for it, so you save it too. Now, you wanna dance?" I said daring her to refuse. But, she dodged the question.

"I saw that you were doing all right with that other woman," she retorted. "I'm sure you're too tired to dance with me."

"Yeah, Sally's nice. How about you?" I asked her back. I haven't seen much of you tonight—I couldn't resist the jib.

"Rick?" She clearly was concerned about my obvious upset.

She was sitting closer to him than to me; I didn't like it. I decided to call her on it. "Cali why don't you sit over here by me. Everybody's going to think you're with the good doctor instead of me," I said, smiling. She jerked back and looked embarrassed.

"Rick, that's not a very nice thing to say. It's uncalled for, really" she said. "What's gotten into you!

"I'm sorry, Mel, my hubby gets a little possessive from time to time. But, I think it's cute," she said trying to save the situation.

"Sorry," I said. "Didn't mean to embarrass anybody." But she didn't shift her seat or move any closer to me. I just stared at her.

The conversation died at that point. Everybody began sipping their drinks. I knew something was about to happen.

"Rick, can I speak with you for a minute?" Looking at Mel, she said, "Mel will you excuse us?" I was sure she was going to pin me about my impolite comments. But if so, she was in for a shock.

"Certainly," he said, no longer smirking.

He retreated to the bar, but not before giving what I could only describe as a loving smile and a gentle touch to Cali's shoulder as he did so. She gave him a weak, and I thought uncomfortable, smile in return. I knew that whatever she was about to say was not going to be good, at least not for me.

"Rick, Mel, Dr. Cort—well—we've been talking," she started.

"Yes, I know, I have seen a lot of you tonight; just from a distance," I said. "You've hardly said word one to me for half the night, Cali"

"Rick, that's not true. It's just well, I need to be polite to the people I work with. I know you understand, honey," she said. I didn't, but I let it go for the moment.

She continued. "Yes, well, you know how you and I are always talking about spicing up our sex lives?" she said.

"Yes," I said tentatively. My eyes were narrowing and my fists were clenching. She noticed.

"Oh, it's nothing bad," she said hurriedly. "Oh my gawd! You were thinking I wanted to go off with Mel, Dr. Cort, and leave you here. No, no, it's nothing like that," she said, trying to mollify me. Why did I still feel that the other shoe was about to drop. Well, maybe because it soon did.

"Anyway," she said, as she seemed to think she'd relaxed me some. "Mel and I, well, we thought that you'd be interested in maybe doing a threesome!"

I think my mouth was hanging open. No, in fact I know it did. Certainly I had no words—none.

"It wouldn't be like last time, honey bear. I mean you'd be right there. That last thing with Howard was a huge mistake on my part. I know it, and that ain't happenin' again," she laughed nervously. We'd all be having fun together. Don't you think that that would be hot!" she said. She said it with so much enthusiasm that I'm sure she figured that I'd be thrilled with their idea.

"No," I said.

"No what?" she said.

"You know what," I said.

"Honey, it would be fun. Thrilling for you as well as me. Think on it for a moment. Once you've had a chance to think on it, I know you..."

"Let me see if I can picture it for a moment," I said. "We'd all be naked right?"

"Well, of course," she giggled.

"And who'd get to fuck you first," I asked, looking her straight in the eyes.

"Well, I think maybe we'd let Mel—I mean with your okay of course..."

"So I'd be left with sloppy seconds, right?" I said.

"Rick, you're not thinking of this right. It'll be fun. I know you'd love it. Rick..."

"Shut the fuck up, Cali. I ain't sharing you with him or anybody else—ever! And tomorrow you are quitting your job at that little Peyton Place you call a clinic. No ifs, ands, or buts; got it?"

"Huh? Quit? What do you mean? I thought that we—I mean you and I—we could spice—"

"No. And if he comes back here to this table, I will kick his pimply ass from here to the Sunda Strait." I was smiling but the smile was not of the benevolent variety.

Now it was Cali's turn to have her mouth hanging open. She finally found her voice. "Honey, I didn't want to—I mean I didn't mean to upset you. I thought that, you know to spice up our sex life. I mean we've talked..."

"Shut the fuck up. It ain't happenin', get it!" I saw good 'ole Mel watching us from the corner of my eye. He looked uncomfortable. I knew he was weighing the wisdom of returning to the table and helping Cali make her pitch.

So that Cali could see and not mistake my meaning. I looked straight at the asshole and slowly shook my head in the negative. He started to return to the table, and I slowly and deliberately and threateningly raised my hand in a stop right there gesture. He retreated back to the bar. I turned back to Cali. "Tomorrow, you resign without notice. Tomorrow, no discussion."

Cali was upset now. "Rick, you can't make we quit. I've worked there for ten years. I need the job. I have duties, responsibilities—"

"Yeah, and number one among them is me. You seemed to have forgotten that," I said. "I don't know what's gotten into you recently, Cali, but I don't like it, or the new you, at all. Get a grip or get out."

"Rick, I..."

"I asked you before, and I'm asking again, do you wanna dance? You've avoided dancing with me most of the night, and I don't mind telling you it's hurt me, Cali, a lot."

"Rick—I don't feel—"

"Then to hell with you. Dance with the asshole at the bar. You may be living with him pretty soon anyway," I said. I stood, picked up my double vodka, downed it, threw a fifty on the table, stopped picked it back up, and walked out. Her new boyfriend could pay. And, she could find her own goddamned way home.

Cali must have decided that she did feel like dancing because she didn't get home till after 2:00AM. I heard her talking to someone at the door when she came in. I couldn't tell if it was man or woman, but I was betting it was good 'ole. Dr. Cort.

Whatever, she came into the room pissed. "Do you have any idea how embarrassed you made me feel?" she demanded. She'd surprised me. While I hadn't slept well, she didn't know that, and she had just laid into me without regard to whether I was sleeping or not.

I rolled over and looked straight up at the ceiling. "Oh, you mean embarrassed like you embarrassed me by ignoring me most of the night? Something like that?" I said, matching her mood. "Fuck you, I'm leaving. We're done, Cali; I won't be back."

"What do you mean done? What are you doing?"

"Give it a rest, Cali. I will be out of your hair in a few minutes—forever!"

I packed while she raved. If she cared that I was leaving, or even believed it, she didn't let on. Done packing, I looked at her. "You sure are pretty. I'll miss what we might have had." I turned and left. She came to the banister at the top of the stairs and watched me leave; she said nothing.

I headed for the Head Trip. I'd shack up there till morning. I would find something more permanent then.

I got a text message just as I was about to sack out: "Good riddance." Well, that pretty much said it all. I actually slept like a baby.

Monday morning I got ready for a long day. I called the bank and cancelled our common cards. I had two of my own and so did she, so there would be no inconvenience there. I went and cashed out my CDs and half of our savings. The Checking account only had about $1000 in it; she'd need that to pay the utilities and the TV bills when they came due, so I left it alone. Around noon, I called a friend of mine who owned a nearby motel and got myself situated with a room for the next month; I'd be looking for a more permanent place to land during that time; I had two daughters to think about, and I need a large enough place for them to camp if they so chose. By three I was on duty and trying to forget my personal problems at least for the duration of my shift. I was worn out; the events of the previous twenty-four hours had taken their toll. I was looking forward to getting some sleep.

Two days later, Wednesday, around 6:00PM, I was wiping down the bar. The initial after-work crowd had settled down some and those who'd be staying were about to the point of getting to their second rounds.

"Hey, Rick, how about a refill on this yellow pepsi, man," said Benny Holtz.

"You got it, Ben," I said. I poured him a fresh lager and took it to him. Benny was a lawyer, and a good guy. Did corporate stuff mostly, or so he'd said about three hundred times. He was single. Had been for nine years. Told me his first go around with matrimonial bliss had soured him permanently. After nine years of singularity, I guess he had some credibility on that score. His wife had left him for a doctor; I recalled that now and empathized with him.

"Hey, Ben, didn't your wife run off with some doctor?" I asked.

"Yeah, Boze or Bosch or something like that," he said.

"Well, you and me have something in common; then, I guess," I said.

"Huh?"

"Yeah, my wife is trading up, I guess. Came to a head Saturday night," I said.

"Oh, I'm sorry, man. I know it's hard when stuff like that happens. Been there, like you say.

"You guys have been married forever, haven't you?" he said.

"Yeah, eighteen years," I said.

"Geezsus! You must be going through hell," he said. "You gonna cut her loose?"

"Divorce her?" I said.

"Yeah," he said.

"I don't know, Ben. I don't figure I'll hurry it. Let her do it and do the payin'; she's the one with a new love interest," I said.

Just as I started to float up the bar towards the other customers, she came in. She was gorgeous. She looked like she was planning to go out on a date.

She approached the bar and stared at me. Her look could best be described as frustrated.

"Cali, I'm at work. I wouldn't be bothering you at your clinic," I said. "Kindly leave."

"No, Rick, not until you've listened to me," she said.

I was trapped, I sighed. "What'll you have?" I said. "Oh, and you look great by the way. Got a date?"

She looked at me quizzically. "Oh, a white wine would be good," she said. "And, no, I'm not going out. This is for you. I was kinda hoping we could get together after while, you know..." I poured her drink and ran the bill for her to pay for it and put it in front of her. She looked pissed, but she pulled a ten out of her wallet and laid it down, no threw it down, on the counter. I took it to get her her change. Returning with her seven dollars; she took the money and shoved it all in the tip jar to her left.

"Thanks," I said.

"Now, can we talk," she said, ignoring my heartfelt gratitude for the seven bucks.

I sighed yet again, "I guess, but then you gotta get outta here. I have to work for a living," I said.

I motioned to Hilda, who was working overtime, to cover the bar for me.

I poured me a cup of iced tea, my usual on duty drink, and led her with her wine glass in hand to a table near the back. "I don't have forever, so get to it," I said. "You got ten minutes."

"Rick, we have to talk you and me. I mean really talk. This thing is getting away from us. I sat alone these last nights wondering what I'd done to piss you off like this. Every time I think about it I come up with something I did that hurt you. I mean first the thing with Howard. Then thing the other night with Mel Cort. But, I don't think it was what I did so much as what I didn't do. I didn't consult you first," she said.

"Really," I said, "you don't think it was anything you did?"

"Yes, I mean no. I mean it is what I didn't do. I didn't talk things over with you first. That was the biggee. If I had, all of these problems would have been non-issues."

"Non-issues. Well, let me see if I can clarify a couple of things for us, okay?" I said.

"Yes, of course. That's why I came, so we could clear the air a little bit, and maybe get us back on track as a couple," she said.

"Okay, good. Now, if you had talked to me first about dancing all night with Mel and ignoring me, what do you think I should have said or felt," I said.

She looked at me as though she thought I wasn't cooperating. But she maintained her self-control and answered me. "That was my fault. I really didn't think. When I looked back on it, I realized that you were right. I did ignore you most of the evening and then got huffy with you when you called me on it. Sorry about that, Rick, I was just being a silly woman. I plead guilty as charged."

"So, you are saying it was something you did, not just a matter of communication with me," I said. I did have a degree in Psychology after all; she wasn't going to get me nodding yes without saying anything that would convince me to do so.

"Yes, I guess that's right," she said. "I have to admit that one.

"But, if I had gone over with you, you know, the acting out of our fantasies; I am pretty sure you would have been into what I had planned," she said.

"What you had planned. You mean all that stuff about it being just us going out on a date. You being willing to let me choose where we would go and what we would do if I wanted. That was all not the truth?" I said.

"Rick, I knew you weren't going to change anything. And, like I'm saying, I should have sat you down and talked it over with you. But oh no, I had to set it up and risk you getting mad at me," she said.

"You haven't answered my questions," I said.

"Okay, I admit it: it wasn't the truth. My heart was in the right place but my head was in lalaville.

"Rick, I know you've haven't been all that happy with our sex lives for a long time now. I want to change that. I want to give you your fantasies. I want to get back in your good graces and give you the love and care and yes the sex you deserve. I've been an idiot, but I intend to stop being one now. Okay? Will you forgive me and come home. I am lonely and needy right now, Rick." She started crying, and my heart strings were being pulled hither and thither.

"A couple more questions, Cali. Did you have any kind of sex whatsoever with Mr. Cort the other night? You didn't get home till after 2:00AM."

"No!" she almost screamed. Calming down, she said, "We talked. I didn't even realize what time it was. He was sympathetic with our problems. He was afraid he'd offended you."

I laughed. "Cali, you know damned well he was treating me with contempt. Didn't you see the smirk on his face whenever he looked at me? He didn't just offend me, he infuriated me! And, he did it on purpose. I'll tell you, he's lucky he still has his teeth."

"Rick, that's wrong. He thought that maybe you were thinking something like that, but he never held you in contempt. He just thinks you're a lucky guy to do the thing you love and—well—to have me.

"And Rick, he's a big guy. Please don't try to fight him. I don't want you to get hurt. Please promise me you won't antagonize him. I love you and I need you not to get hurt," she said. I was laughing out loud inside. I was praying the asshole would try me, just once; if he did I was going to introduce him to places in pain-ville he had never dreamed of.

"And, you believed him? Oh, and thank you for your concern for my health. I promise not to throw the first punch," I said as sincerely as I could.

"Well, yes of course I believed him. I can tell if a man is lying or not; I am a woman, Rick. You guys can't put anything over on us girls that we don't want you putting over on us," she said, giggling now.

I just stared at her. "Cali, what is it you see us as doing, being?' I said. I could see Benny watching us out of the corner of my eye. He was still at the bar too far away to hear anything, but I knew he was an expert at interpreting body language, and he claimed he could lip read with fair accuracy. That was why he was so sought after in industrial negotiations, which he was. I was more than a little interested in what he thought, and I'd know soon enough exactly what that would be.

"Number one, Rick, I see us as together forever. No one between us, nobody taking your place in my heart, and I mean forever. But, for the other, it's just—well—I think we need to get our act together when it comes to the other thing," she said, trying to be tentative and seeming willing to compromise at the same time.

"The other thing being sex, is that it?" I said.

"Yes, Rick, we need to do something. Something non-threatening. Something we could both enjoy. Somebody like Mel..."

"You mean the threesome thing again. Am I hearing you right?" I said, interrupting her.

"Well, only if you agree, honey. I would never try to force anything on you that you didn't want to do. And I would never cheat on you—never!" she said with a little too much vehemence.

"I told you no. Now, are you hearing me or are you going to try to force the issue?" I said. I could see her deflate. I'm sure she thought that she could get me to compromise, go her way. She knew she'd lost that battle, so she was going to try harder to win her the next one.

"Okay, honey, if it is something you just can't imagine doing. I guess we just won't go there anymore," she said. "But, could you give me one thing at least?"

"And what would that be, Cali?" I said, suspicion dripping from my tongue.

"Could you not force me to quit my job? I mean..."

"Cali, I hate the people you work with: Howard and Mel. But, if you promise never to ask to be with them ever—not even on the dance floor—I guess I can give in this once. But, one mistake, one kiss under the mistletoe, one dance at a company party, one private word in a corridor, any consideration for either of them as long as we are married; and it's over between us, Cali, and I mean it."