- BDSM
- The Beekeeper's Mistress
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His fingers trailed down her chest, and it sent shivers through her aching body. This wasn't going to be anything hardcore, they were just testing the waters. She was anxious that she wouldn't give him the experience he wanted but he kept assuring her she was all he needed. He leaned in to kiss her but his lips met her finger instead.
"You didn't ask slut."
She tried to sound like she knew what she was doing but she couldn't help but blush.
"Oh.. I'm sorry. May I kiss you?"
She brought his face close to hers and brushed her soft supple lips against his, the heat between them growing , and just when he thought he'd finally get to collapse himself into her she promptly said "No." in one solid move she pushed her weight against into him and turned so she was on top.
"You've neglected your manners since we started. Most mistresses would've punished you by now."
Heat rose into his cheeks and ears. The mention of punishment made his body ache with pleasure.
"Please." He half whispered.
"Please what? You can say please all you want but if you don't address me properly you'll never get it."
He tried not to smile. She was trying so hard and it turned him on but she was absolutely adorable when she tried to take control.
"Please mistress. Punish me."
"On your hands and knees slut."
Anticipation reeled through his chest. Suddenly a soft covering fell over his eyes, and he felt his hands being brought forward, tied together and then to the bed frame. Everything was silent, he could feel her near him anymore and then she spoke.
"I'm going to strike you six times. You'll count out each one, and if you mess up or happen to say anything other than the number I'll start over and go harder. Do you understand?"
He could feel his cock straining against his tight boxers.
"Yes Mistress."
She dragged the ends of the whip across his spine, the metal ends were cold and made him shiver as they made their way down his back. Her teasing was driving him wild, she reached her hand around and toyed at his ever growing cock.
"My aren't you getting big. Awfully tight in those isn't it?"
Her hands found the waist band and she pulled his boxers down his cock springing forward standing attention to her teasing. She ran her finger across the tip, wet with his precum and moved in a circle. Moans escaped his lips but she was trying his patience.
"Please don't tease." he gasped
his plea was met with a hard but quick strike of her whip. He cried out but the pain was replaced with a hot pleasure he'd never felt. She grabbed his balls,
"I'm in charge aren't I?"
She squeezed harder as she spoke.
"You're my toy and I'll tease and use you as I please. "
she squeezed even harder
"Undermine me again and I'll lock your pretty little cock up and leave you tied up here for a week. Do I make myself clear?"
- COMMENTS
Anonymousover 6 years agoI actually quite enjoyed this. Thought it was written well and the feedback received so far perhaps doesn't do it justice...
I can see what the first two comments are getting at in that it is very short - just as the action is starting to hot up...The End! That having been said; would I be correct in thinking that your intention was just to outline a brief erotic scene, rather than to tell a full story? If so, I personally think you've succeeded here, even if I would have liked a little more myself.
The third comment, aside from missing the point entirely, seems to come from someone who's more concerned with his own inadequacies, so I wouldn't pay any attention to it if I were you.
I'm always interested in something different myself, and by giving us a nervous, first-time Domme (who is by no means self-assured, but still getting into the role regardless) you've certainly delivered something that very few stories on this site have explored to date.
I know the last comment advocates a switch to a first-person narrative style, which is fair enough. I myself tend to prefer the third-person style that you've chosen to employ here, though perhaps he/she does have a point for super-short tales like this one.
Hope you keep writing. I look forward to reading more from you...especially a continuation of this little tale!
Anonymousover 6 years agoObviously there are some mistakes but you wrote something hot enough to get me going and don't mind the ppl above because none of them have anything written so fuck em. I'd read more just liven it up a bit more don't stop so abruptly and change all the he/ she said shit to I said instead putting yourself in it it helps to write easier and it reads easier
FASfanover 6 years ago... it could have turned into something readable but fell at the first hurdle. What was it supposed to be -- you didn't really tell us. More part of a scene than a story, but do keep writing now you have started. The only way from here has to be up.
Thank you for sharing your efforts with us but they need to be better thought out. Perhaps you should try looking for some assistance.
Two stars.
SomethingInTheWaySheMovesover 6 years agoThis wasn't a story, or a SHORT story. This was a couple hundred words you threw together. Thumbs down.
