The Best Birthday Present Ever!

Jake and Julie Burrows had been together for 16 years, even though they were only in there late 20s. They'd met at Junior High and had quickly become an item. They were so obviously right for each other that their friends soon started to call them 'Mom and Pop', or the 'two Js'.

Rather than going to college after graduation Jake had decided to join the army, and Julie had decided that the life of an army bride would be acceptable to her, so they had married jut before he went off for his basic training. She went to the local college and studied business administration.

All was going well until at age 23 Jake pulled his first overseas duty, which was to help clear mines in Afghanistan.

He'd been part of a team sent out to deal with what they believed was the remains of an old Russian minefield. The last thing he remembered was helping to unpack some equipment, when there was a flash, followed by a gigantic roar. Then blackness took him away.

When he awoke a week later he was convalescing in a US Army hospital in Germany. He had pins in his legs, but he would be back home in the US, with Julie by the end of the next week and that was all that mattered to him.

His rehabilitation had taken a couple of months, but Julie was there for him all the way through. What had happened had, Jake believed, made their relationship all the stronger, their love even more complete and, he felt, more mature and deeper.

A couple of years later and their married life was perfect, or so it seemed to Jake. He had a job working for a local media production outfit (though he was still on the Military Reserve) Julie worked in a local bank and they were buying their first home (a smart two bedroom house) in a decent part of town. The loan had been arranged through Sally's employer. The bank's chairman, Miles Simpson, had a great deal of time for the couple as he had served in Gulf War 1 as an infantry officer before leaving army life to work at his family's bank.

Jake was receiving counselling funded by the military. He had a number of issues. His injuries, though not impacting much on his life, still hurt him, but he never let Julie know about the pain in his legs. He just got on with life as best he could.

He also suffered from survivor guilt, when the survivors of a terrible disaster or a military operation gone wrong begin to feel guilty about the fact that they had survived, when their comrades had not. He confided in his counsellor that he felt God had somehow saved him to continue his relationship with Julie.

His counsellor was worried. In his notes he recorded that, although he had not raised this with Jake, he was concerned that Jake relied too much for his happiness and for his existence, perhaps, on his wife, Julie. "If something were to happen to damage this relationship or to end it, I am worried what Jake's reaction might be," he wrote.

They'd been married for ten years and Julie's birthday was upon them and Jake was stumped as to what to buy for her for her birthday. He wanted to really show Julie how much he loved her, how much he cared for her as the one special person in his life.

He asked him what she wanted. She grinned as she said: "Oh, Jake! Don't worry! What I want is the best birthday present in the world. Ever!"

He laughed, and asked her what she meant. She shook her head. You have over a week, Jakey! You'll find my best birthday present in the world. Ever! And you'll get it for me. I know you will! I trust you!"

He mentioned his dilemma to his co-workers at lunch, the next day.

A wily, older colleague suggested that he planted a Voice activated Recorder in either her car or her purse. "That way you can hear when she talks to her sister or her friends on the phone about and you can work out from that what her ideal present would be. I've done it for years!"

So that was what Jake decided to do. He borrowed a VAR from the co-worker that was disguised as a working pen and placed it in Julie's voluminous purse.

He felt so pleased with himself! He'd be able to find the ideal gift for Julie!

The evening of the day he had planted the VAR they made love, passionately and with all of the romance that they had felt since their first time as 16-year-old lovers. When she, with a shy, coquettish smile, asked him to go down on her, he complied with gusto.

The next morning, before Julie went to work (he had the day off) he retrieved the VAR from her purse and downloaded the recording to his laptop. As he listened to the recording, after Julie had kissed him on the lips and left for work, he felt his heart turning to stone.

First, he heard a conversation between Julie and her sister, Pat:

Julie: "Hi, Pat. How're things?" Pat: "Oh, not bad. By the way, have you thought any more about what I said?" Julie: "About what?" Pat: "You know. About you cheating on Jake with that asshole security guard at the bank. Ted Bailey-Simpson, isn't it?" Julie: "Oh, Pat! Give me a break! I'm not really cheating on Jake, this thing with Ted it's... well..." Pat: "Are you fucking Ted?" Julie: Yes." Pat: Well, then, that's cheating on Jake, isn't it?" Julie: I suppose so, but the stuff with Ted, it's just a naughty adventure! A fantasy! And Jake doesn't need to know! What he doesn't know won't hurt him!" Pat: "What if he finds out, Julie?" Julie: "Oh, he won't. And what if he does? I can wrap him round my little finger! He'll forgive me, because he loves me!" Pat: "I hope you're right sis, I really do. If he found out, it'd break his heart!" They chatted a while longer about inconsequential matters and terminated the call.

There was a pause, then another call, this one between Julie and Ted: Ted: "Yo, Julie! How is my main squeeze?" "Julie: "I'm fine, Ted! How's my big boy?" Ted: "Your big boy is just fine, Julie! Ready for some hot sex today, at work?" Julie: Yes! I certainly am!" Ted: "What's wrong, honey? Isn't Crip doing you well enough?" Julie: "Oh, Crip's OK, he does me as well as he can, but you really know how to pleasure a woman!" Ted: "Cool! Glad to hear it. What about my suggestion, yesterday? Did you do it?" Julie: "What suggestion, Ted?" Ted: "When I got you to let me do you bareback, when I asked you to take my full load back to Crip and make him suck my sperm out of you?" Julie: "Yes, Ted, I did, but I felt so guilty about making Crip, I mean Jake, do that, please don't ask me to do it again, OK?" Ted: "Did he? Did he lick you clean and suck my sperm out of you? Did you make him swallow my load, just like I asked you to?" Julie: Yes, I did! But... Ted! Please! Stop that! If you want any more of my body, you'll stop going there, OK? I know you and me are planning to quit our jobs and run away together to a start a new life in California, but I feel badly enough about what we are doing to Jake, without me helping you make a fool out of him in that way, too. So if you want us to remain an item, well, just quit it, OK?" Ted: "OK, I am sorry, Julie, I just thought it would be a fun idea, that's all." Julie: "It was a fun idea. But when he finally cleaned me out and swallowed it all down, and he looked up at me and smiled and told me how much he loved me, I felt like such a heel, I almost confessed to him, what I had done." Ted: "Shit! I am glad you didn't. He might have hurt you and me, so you must never tell him. Look, I am sorry, I can see how torn up you are over cheating on him. So we'll talk more about this over my uncle's desk whilst I fuck you on it, this afternoon. He's going to be out all day, so his office is clear for us to use it." Julie: "OK, lover, that's a date! Now I have to concentrate on my driving!"

Devastation. Betrayal. Heartbreak.

Yes, Julie had asked for him to do down on her, last night. So yes, he had cleaned her out. He had sucked and swallowed her lover's sperm from her vagina.

He ran into the downstairs toilet and began throwing up until there was nothing left. He splashed water on his face, drunk a little from the palm of his hand and stumbled back through the house, into the living room.

It was a little after 7.20am and Jake suddenly knew what the best birthday present ever that he could offer Julie, was.

And the best part of it? He had everything he needed in the house or in the garage. It would, he felt, really be the best birthday present ever! Yet he felt no joy as he began his preparations for Julie's birthday surprise. Just a sense of purpose.

At 11am, the banking hall of Julie's workplace was not especially busy. The early morning customers had come and gone and the lunchtime rush was an hour away.

Ted was standing in the lobby, looking good and also more than a little smug in his tan uniform, his pistol in his holster at his side. Julie was gazing at him, longingly. There were two sets of colleagues, those who boosted her affair with Ted and those who were sickened by it. But nobody said anything. After all, he was the chairman's nephew.

As everyone got on with their tasks, the automatic door on the street slid open and a tall man walked into the bank. He was wearing a zipped orange mechanic's cover all and his face and head were totally obscured by a ski mask.

In his right hand he held a black gun which he raised and pointed at Ted.

Ted froze in fear! He had never seen a bank robbery, before! Never had a gun pointed at him for real! This wasn't what his uncle had found him this job for!

The man facing him growled and shouted: "Fuck! Damned safety's jammed!" He appeared to fiddle with the gun, which galvanised Ted into action. He swiftly took his gun from his holster, aimed it at the figure in front of him and rapidly fired off two shots, both of which found their mark in the other man's torso. He fell face forward, dead.

There was pandemonium in the bank. One of the tellers had hit the panic button, people started yelling and screaming and Julie ran to Ted who was slumped again the wall behind him, a glazed look to his eyes, his gun lose in his hand.

Julie grabbed him, gave him a long, wet kiss and shouted: "Ted's our hero! He saved us!"

Everyone started cheering and Julie realised that someone in the crowd had used their phone to take a picture of her kissing Ted. "I hope Jake never sees that picture! It might make him suspicious!" she thought.

The police arrived in the shape of a several uniformed officers and a couple of detectives from the local precinct, Deborah Fielding, and Tom Mandon. They were both long in service, Deborah was in her mid-40s, Tom was just turned 50.

Deborah was senior officer, so took the lead: "OK, folks! Nobody touched the body, I hope? No? Good. We'll get someone to take it away as soon as we can, but certain procedures must be adhered to. We'll need to question everyone who was in the bank, at the time. Our uniformed colleagues will take your details and we will arrange to talk with you soon, over the next few days. Some of you we will be questioning today, however."

She went over to Ted, who by now had been sat down on a chair. She glanced at the woman on his left, her badge said: Julie Burrows. She realised there was a sexual tension between her and the guard. She looked at his name badge, Ted Bailey-Simpson. The name rang a bell. Simpson as in Simpson's Bank?

She got the sexual tension, yes, but there was something about Ted that she didn't like. She knew that some women would find it attractive but whatever it was that Ted had, Deborah knew she'd never fall for it. Smart tan uniform or not.

Wearing latex gloves, she took the gun from Ted and placed it in an evidence bag. "Forensics will need this. You might get it back later, that all depends. We'll need to take you down to the precinct house to interview you."

"I'll come with him!" said Julie, protectively grabbing his left arm. Ted looked grateful, Deborah felt uneasy. "There's no need, ms Burrows. Ted will be OK."

"But I saw what happened! I watched it all!"

"OK," said Deborah, we'll interview you today, rather than later on."

Much to Julie's consternation she was placed in a separate room to Ted. She said very little as she did not want to bring attention to herself. After all, she reasoned, the less people who knew about her affair outside the bank, the better.

The forensic team (or CSI as they preferred to be known, now) came, made measurements, took photographs and had the body removed to the morgue which was in the same building as the precinct house, the court house and several other government departments.

The initial examination of the corpse of the bank robber had raised some interesting questions. The Pathologist had determined the cause of death as a bullet to the heart. Which was why there had been little blood from either wound.

He was not happy with certain aspects of the case. He phoned up to the precinct house that was on the floor above his and spoke to Deborah Fielding: "Debs, it's Walter Sheldon, here. Just done the autopsy on the bank robber. Doesn't chime, though. I am unsure he was a bank robber. When we removed his cover all, we found he was wearing a military dress uniform, with a name badge on it. Luckily both bullets missed it. The name on it is Corporal Jake Burrows. And we also found some black paint on his hand. The CSI guys IDed this as paint on the pistol grip of the gun he was carrying. It wasn't a real gun and it's our best guess that the black paint was used very recently to make it look more realistic. There was also a clear plastic rucksack that people use on airliners, these days. The CSI guys have that, but we could see there are three letters in there, so you should have your answers as to what happened, soon. He was also carrying a military ID card and credit cards and a drivers' license in the name of Jake Burrows."

Deborah put the phone down. She turned to her colleagues in the open plan detective's room. "Guys, there's something screwy about this armed robbery case. Firstly, we have a tentative ID on him as a Jake Burrows. He might be a serving or former corporal in the army. The gun he was armed with was a fake, but he had painted it with black paint to make it look more realistic, or so the CSI guys believe.

"It's looking like this might not have been a robbery."

A voice from the back of the room piped up: "Well, what was it?"

Deborah looked up, smiled, and said: "We're detectives. That's what we're here to do! Detect!"

Deborah sat at her desk. She was thinking, when a connection formed in her mind. The woman who had been pawing Ted was called Burrows. The man who was dead had been IDed as being called Burrows. She felt a sudden chill as she mused over a likely connection. She dismissed it, for the moment.

The door to the office opened and the lead CSI investigator came in, carrying some paperwork.

"You're in charge of the bank shooting, eh, Debs?" shouted Roger Trumble, over the noise of the office.

"That's right, Rog! You got something for me?" she asked.

"Yes. I think we already have the answer to the case. We found three letters in the guy's clear plastic rucksack. One for the police, one for Ted Bailey-Simpson and one for Julie Burrows. These are copies of the letters."

The room suddenly went quiet, as everyone crowded round Deborah's desk, as she took the three pieces of paper from Roger.

She studied them, frowned and clucked over them. "Oh, damn. I'll read the letters out to you guys, OK?"

She started with the letter addressed to the police: "Dear police officers, I am sorry to cause you any inconvenience, I know you have real criminals to chase but this was the only way I could think to put at end to my misery. Yours truly, Jake Burrows."

Without comment she read the letter to Ted:

"Ted, you win. Please look after my Julie for me. Jake."

She said: "Short and remarkably kind in tone, considering what I think happened."

She then started to read the letter that Jake had addressed to his wife. And what she read, broke her heart.

"Dear Julie, you are killing me. In fact, by the time you get this letter, if Ted is good at his job, I will be really dead.

"You might think it was a cruel thing for me to do to you and Ted, but that's not my intent.

"Julie, it might sound trite, but I love you more than life itself. And I will prove this to you.

We have been together since we were 14 or 15, I guess you must have grown tired of me. I wish you'd have said; then I could have moved on and out of your life.

"I know exactly what you did. I know Pat tried to encourage you to stop the affair, I also know how you tricked me into drinking your love's sperm from your vagina.

I also know that you planned to leave me and to go with Ted to California.

I know this because I placed a Voice Activated Recorder in your purse. The only reason I did this was because I wanted to hear your chats with Pat and perhaps your mom, in order to let me find out what you really wanted for your birthday. What would constitute the best birthday present in the world, ever! Well, today I found that out, today, when I listened to the recordings. So, Julie, today I give you the best birthday present in the world, ever. Widowhood. Now you have a clean start for you and Ted.

I wish you and your husband to be only the best for your future together as man and wife.

With all my Love,

Your Jakey."

There wasn't a dry eye in the detective room. Some were openly weeping. Deborah looked over at Tom and was shocked that tears were really streaming down his cheeks. "Tom? How come this has hit you so bad?"

He pulled out a handkerchief and wiped his eyes before replying. "It reminds me of what happened to my big brother, Dave. Dave got badly injured in 'Nam. He went away a fit, virile young husband and came back a cripple in a wheelchair, old before his time.

"His wife, Nan, well, she couldn't hack it. She was young, she had needs and she would often leave Dave at home whilst she went out with her boyfriends.

"Eventually after a couple of years of this one of her boyfriends offered to take her on a long weekend break. She left enough food and drink to last Dave, she made sure he had enough music to listen to; this was before domestic video tapes were common, and she left him at home.

"When she got back home, she found Dave's corpse. He'd blown his brains out with his .45 service pistol. And you know the real dumb thing? To this day the stupid bitch has been faithful to his memory, hasn't even had one fucking date in all those years. She's just a crazy white haired old broad who lives with a bunch of cats in the house she shared with my brother."

"Fuck, Tom!" said Deborah. "I've known you for ten years, and I never knew you had an older brother!"

He shrugged: "Not something I often talk about, but under the circumstances I wanted to get it off my chest. Now I guess someone has to tell that stupid woman Julie Burrows what she did. I'd rather it wasn't me, to be honest."

"Sure thing, Jake. I'll take that gig," said Deborah, squeezing his shoulder.

Deborah was not looking forward to this job herself, she sighed as she had Julie Burrows brought into an interview room. "Mrs Burrows," she said: "I am not going to ask you questions about what you witnesses today, at least not yet. Firstly I have some bad news for you about your husband, Jake Burrows."

Julie suddenly looked worried: "Oh, my God! What happened? Has he had an accident? Is he badly hurt?"

Deborah looked at her with an intense stare that unnerved Julie, before she continued to speak: "He did not have an accident; he is not hurt, I am sorry to have to tell you that he is dead."

Julie squealed. "But that's not possible! He was perfectly well when I left him at home this morning! What happened to him?"

Deborah licked her lips before continuing: "He was shot to death, this morning."

"Oh, my God! My Jakey? Was it a car jacking?"