The Best Gag

Oscar was positively overwhelmed by the number of people on the convention floor. He had been told by his friends the dealer's room would be packed, but it was hard to grasp just how dense the crowd was. He climbed out of the press of people and tried to catch his breath in the back corner of the room.

"Greetings! See anything you're interested in?"

The lady working the booth he was standing next to was smiling at him. She was cute, with dark, frizzy hair that framed her over-sized spectacles. Through the frames, her eyes seemed to glow. She was wearing a shirt much too big for her with a seven-pointed star inscribed within a circle.

The stall behind her was filled with nick knacks from the last two seasons of Anime, shirts with all kinds of artwork, a smattering of American super hero comics from the last few months, and a number of nondescript paper bags.

"I...I'm just looking, thanks."

"Oh. Okay. Well, if you see anything..."

Oscar went to thank her but she was already conversing with a couple standing near the other corner. She did not waste any time sinking her fangs into another pair of potential customers. Though, now that she was not standing over him, he could actually take stock of what she had.

Apparently, the bags contained a collection of random things worth about what their asking price was...perhaps even more. He was feeling lucky despite feeling trapped so he flagged the clerk down and bought one.

The bag itself contained a shirt for a show he liked, it was even in his size, as well as a couple volumes of a manga he had been meaning to pick up and a card with some kanji written on it.

"Miss, what does this mean?"

She squinted at the card and then laughed. "It's supposed to be a charm for masculine power or something like that, but the characters aren't exactly kanji. Heck, for all I know, it might even say it'll grow your dick and balls. We got a few as part of some promotion for some fighting game I never heard of."

Grow his dick? In spite of himself, Oscar was intrigued. "How does it work?"

She put her hand out and he passed her the card. The clerk flipped it over in her hands, as if reading tiny print on the back. "It says it has a keyword that activates it, though doesn't say what. So I imagine if someone says the word near you while you're holding it then it's effect will happen."

The woman passed the card back. "It's just a gag, really. Might be worth something in a year if the game takes off."

Oscar tucked the card in his pocket and thanked her for the answers before heading back into the crowd. As he tried to make it back to the main area, he started to feel pricks of heat against his leg. He figured it was his phone and ignored it. Only, the spikes grew more frequent. Slowly, he began to associate the spikes with a few words he kept hearing in the sea of people.

Was it the card reacting to its keyword? Which was it? Fire had seemed common, as had leather? Was it more phallic, like cucumber or something? He stumbled into a side room which was mercifully empty and tried a few words to not avail. And yet, his pants did feel tighter.

Back in the press of people, the heat returned stronger than before. As he strolled around he could feel his dick slowly snaking along his thigh. A quick glance down confirmed his erection was visible now through his pants and getting steadily more so. He had to get out of the hall and back to his room!

However, moving was growing difficult as his balls had begun to catch up with his shaft. The soft skin of his sack teased him further, until he was sure he would explode inside his pants.

He could feel the head against his knee now, drips of pre-cum hitting his calf. The elevator was only feet away. The bell rang just as the sound of tearing seam reached his ears. He pushed the button for his floor and the doors closed just as he felt his dick swing free leading the way for balls that would have put a horse to shame.

In the silence, the heat dissipated though his erection did not. He let out a sigh and turned to wait for the seven floors to pass, only to realized he wasn't the only one in the elevator. Standing there, watching him, was the woman from the booth.

Had her lips always been that full? Had her shirt been so low cut before? Had she always had that much cleavage? Those pixie wings seemed awfully real for a costume accessory.

Was she...was she floating?

"It would seem that talisman wasn't a gag," he said after a couple beats of silence. "Look at this!"

"Oh it was absolutely a gag. My favorite one in fact." She grinned mischievously. "Though I can undo the curse for a fee."

"Anything!" he shouted as his member suddenly surged larger.

The elevator dinged, they were on his floor. She took his hand and led him to his room. "Oh, I'm sure you'll work really hard for me tonight..."