The Best of Us is Not All of Us Ch. 01

"Jade!" Sarah started in a chastising voice, but lost it instantly and giggled. She continued speaking in her demonic narrator voice, "many men have claimed they can reach the womb of annihilation, but they often come up short!"

Jade laughed and replied first, pantomiming a dice roll, "I'm going to check for traps, and... oh god! Something just squirted in my eye!"

Eve reddened, shook her head, and crossed her arms. "Okay, guys... it's like a vagina. That's the joke."

"There's only THREE IN YOUR PARTY?" Demon Sarah spoke again. "This womb has a recommended party size of 5!"

"Call us Lara Croft," Jay interjected, "because we're about to be womb raiders!"

This got a moment of silence as the girls turned to look at him, and his smile froze again. And then they all laughed, melting his nervous smile into relief.

"Blood!" Jade yelled out. "There's just... blood everywhere! Oh God! This was a terrible time to come!"

Eve raised her hands to her mouth and covered it as she laughed, and then bent over until her head was on the table, shoulders shaking.

The laughter died away to chuckles, and then that nostalgic sigh people make when they're remembering ten seconds ago when they had things to laugh about.

"Okay," Sarah said. "It's not the Womb of Annihilation, clearly. It's a place with lots of dead bodies in sarcophagous-es... sarcophagi? There are monsters, traps, treasures, and stuff. It's a beloved and well-known classic D&D module that has been updated. Obviously, clearly, what I meant to say was the... COCK OF ANNIHILATION! DEMON ROOSTERS IN THE HOUSE!"

"Sarah stop!" Eve shouted, red faced.

* * *

Sarah cleared her throat, "you fail to resist the necromancer's Harm. You feel your blood boiling as your vision blurs and it becomes so much harder to breath. You cough and crimson phlegm spurts between your lips. Take..."

She began to gather some dice. Eve and Jade's eyes widened as they saw her accumulating a very large pile of d6's. She threw them and they rolled like foreboding thunder. "Thirty-two damage."

Jay leaned back in his seat, a hand clutching the fabric of his tight t-shirt. The other hand reached out, fingers curling as his face twisted with pain. "Not like this," he rasped. "There... was... more, I... I'm sorry..."

He went slack, arms dangling uselessly at his side. Eve and Jade stared at him, jaws open that he was really playing this up. Sarah eyed him cooly. "You're down? You know you have to make death saving throws on each of your turns now? The bard in your group falls down, dramatically," she added with a gesture to Jay at the table. "Perhaps life lingers within that body, but you have bigger fish to fry."

Play proceeded as Jade's barbarian and Eve's monk attempted to take out the necromancer. "He looks like he's on the verge of collapsing. After taking twenty from your greatsword, he screams in pain, blood oozing from the wound in his side, but he doesn't fall. He raises his hands, casting Circle of Death, a wave of black, necrotic..."

"I'm sorry, aren't I before him?" Jay asked.

"Ah, sorry. Roll your death save," Sarah said.

"Actually..." Jay said, "I've got two hit points," He showed her his phone where his character app displayed that he did, in fact, have two hit points left.

"Wait," Sarah said, "I thought you died..."

"It's called... acting!" he said, emoting with a clenched fist near his face, eyes shut in thespianic effort. "I'm a fucking bard!"

Her jaw dropped as he laughed, and it had to be said, it was not an attractive laugh. It was kind of goofy, kind of a deep giggle, and Sarah cocked her head as she re-appraised him. She couldn't help but smile, because such a goofy, genuine laugh could never have been done on purpose.

"By the by, can my character actually say that outloud? As he casts," Jay consulted his phone, and then pointing finger guns at her says, "I'm going to cast Magic Missile as a level 4 spell, for... 12 damage?"

"That... does it," Sarah said, before switching into the weedling whine of a sniveling glorified grave robber, "no! Curses to your stagecraft! It's why part of my evil plans involved defunding the public arts!"

Jade said something. Eve high-fived Jay and they were talking about something, but Sarah must've hit the mute button on her senses or something. There was more laughter that she couldn't hear. She wondered what the technical difficulties were caused by, but then realized it.

In the same way that a computer trying to run too many programs starts to slow, her brain had shut down many of her less essential programs so that it could process something. Her hearing hadn't exactly gone, but her brain wasn't processing the words to derive their meanings. She wasn't breathing on autonomic impulse anymore, and she hadn't blinked in a while. Her peripheral vision blurred as she focused on this boy with his goofy, dorky laugh, and beautiful shy smile. That puppy dog look of hopeful pleasing, wanting to be good.

They barely knew each other, and she wanted to know more. To know what his favorite Riskworld novel was, what he was watching currently, or what his favorite food was. She wanted to know what his mother was like, if he had any siblings, if he liked cats or dogs or both.

The thing is, the moment you want something, you've placed weight upon its absence.

Jade, Eve, and Alex were her best friends. But if any one of them had not wanted to be her friend when they met, the logical and emotionally healthy thing to do was simply to look elsewhere for friendship. She wanted friendship and companionship, but it didn't need to be these particular people, but of course, she was grateful that it was.

She wanted Jay in her life, and now she knew that if he didn't want that too, she would be sad.

Nothing as tragic or serious as a heartbreak. Just a tightness in her chest right now, thinking about not being around him. Later, in months and years, it would be an itch in her memories as she thought of where Jay was, and if he ever found a D&D group to play with regularly. She would hope he was doing okay.

Sarah realized that her friends and Jay were all staring at her now. No one was saying anything anymore. Her brain switched its processing of her internal feelings to focus on language comprehension, visual image deciphering, and resuming autonomic breathing and blinking - those little things.

"What?"

"You okay, Sarah?" Asked Jade, who placed a hand on her shoulder, concern in her eyes.

Tactile sensation informed her that her cheeks were wet. She was crying in front of her friends and this stranger, and she was being completely, utterly stupid and awkward and wrong and...

Sarah wiped her eyes hurriedly, and smiled badly. "Ha ha... I was... just so close to wiping you guys out! I had this awesome monologue planned and everything."

Their expressions clearly said that they didn't believe her, but they were also polite enough to pretend to accept it as long as she didn't mind that she could tell they were pretending.

"Maybe next time?" Suggested Jay.

"I just can't believe you lied about your hit points," Sarah said.

He held up a finger, "whoa. I never lie. You never asked about my hit points. You just assumed that I was down because my character said he was dead. Characters don't have to be honest."

"That was awesome," Eve said.

"You should play with us again," Jade said.

"Yeah! I'd love that if you guys got the space," he said.

The dice were packed away, the snacks were cleaned up, and chairs were folded and stacked. Then, they said their goodbyes.

Jade lingered just a bit, clearly worried about her friend, and while they were very forthcoming and open in one on one situations, this group situation complicated things a bit for them both. Sarah knew Jade would text her later and set up getting coffee which was reassuring.

"Thanks for having me," Jay said. "It was a lot of fun."

As he stood in the doorway, the last to leave, she realized she hadn't looked directly at him since her stupid little meltdown.

"Thanks for playing. I hope it wasn't too cringey or weird for you."

"No way," he said. "It felt... really nice. You got some good friends."

"That I do," she said.

He looked awkward suddenly, as if working himself up to an unpleasant task. "Hey, I know that we just met, but if you ever want to talk about anything, let me know."

She stared at him, looking for something. A sign that he was joking, fingers crossed behind his back, or a camera crew around the hall's corner. Her cynicism chained her heart, but but chainmail was a thing for a reason. It offered protection.

"Thanks," she said flatly.

He nodded, a calculating look on his face. He opened his mouth, and then shut it again. He went with his second response, which was "all right, I hope you have a good night, Sarah. Thanks again."

She watched as he began to walk down the hall. And then Sarah realized she'd be dead in like sixty years.

"Jay... Jay!" she called out to be heard, since he was almost around the corner.

He turned, surprise in his eyes, along with... what? Expectation? Curiosity?

"I'm used to not wanting things," she said. "So, when you say to let you know when I want to talk, I... I'm just used to not wanting to. To do anything really."

She looked down, feeling her tears well up again, and she felt so stupid again. So silly. So emotional. "I've spent a long time not wanting anything so I wouldn't have to not get what I wanted. And...

"And, I want you to stay," she said. "Not forever, or overnight, or any specific time. Just a bit longer."

He didn't respond. She clenched her fists, digging her fingers into the meat of her palm.

He would go. And then they would probably play more games in the future, because he really did bring an energy to the table that was soft, safe, and pleasant. They would keep studying, and if they had classes together, she'd send him her notes. They would graduate, and he'd probably bang a healthy amount of people. Come to think of it, so would she.

Someone else would probably find out if he liked cats. Or what he wanted to be when he was younger. Or what his childhood was like.

And she would move on, because emotionally healthy adults put their time where it would be rewarded. It was unhealthy and foolish to pine, and it was a risk to want things.

Her vision, blurring from the tears, saw something dark step into her vision. She looked up slightly, wiping her eyes.

"I'd like that," he said.

She stared into that hopeful face with that gentle smile.

"Really?"

He nodded.

"With me?"

He laughed. "Yes."

"There's... so much I want to ask you!" she said.

"Sure, like what?"

He had nice lips. Extremely kissable lips and a nice smile. She was taller than him due to her sexy scarecrow proportions, and she could smell his scent mixed with his shampoo and deodorant. Something generic. Smelled white.

"I... forget," she said, eyes widening. "I swear I do, I just..."

"We could just have lots of awkward silence, I don't mind," he said.

"It's your... stupid face being all pretty and stuff! And..." she placed her hands on his shoulders, marveling at how wide they felt. He felt like a very solid chunk of man. "I..."

"My stupid face?"

"No! I mean..."

"You're charming me right now," he said, smiling.

"You like your women stupid and socially awkward?"

"I'm here, aren't I?" he smirked, and she had to mentally compose herself. Now her mental computer was going to sketchy porn sites and getting infected with tons of malware. He was joking, but there was something about that expression that would have annoyed her in other situations.

"Jay," she said.

"Sarah," he imitated her stern tone of voice.

"I would like to pursue a non-platonic relationship with you."

He laughed.

"I just want to be as clear and unambiguous as possible," she said. "This way, you know exactly what..."

"I think we can do that," he said, leaning toward her.

She started breathing harder as he neared, "did you want to... are we going to..."

Kiss.

Oxytocin and endorphin release. Non-GMO, free range, gluten-free chemical happiness slammed into her brain like electricity coursing through a live wire. Her body arched against him, as if trying to ground the sensation inside her again him. She kissed him back ungracefully, but she couldn't help how hungry she felt. She'd gone too long without love or lust indulged.

She pulled him into her room. She was aware of his weight, how solidly he occupied the space near and around her as his arms encircled her torso, wrapping around her thin frame easily.

He swung her around in his arms as he rotated, forcing her up against the door, their lips still touching. Jay pulled back from the kiss, and when she leaned forward for more, she found her hair held tightly near the nape of her neck. Her eyes opened, lips parted as she practically whined like an animal.

He was watching her, a slight smile on his lips, clearly enjoying himself as he leaned into her slowly. He stopped when she could feel his breath on her lips and she reflexively tried to move forward to kiss again. She was still held fast by her hair, up against the door, his body caging her in. His hand pulled at her hair, forcing her to look up and bare her neck, allowing him to place his lips on her collarbone and then travel upward.

Her hands pulled at shoulders, not sure what she was trying to do, but she was clearly outmatched in physical strength. Her breath hitched in her throat as his lips traveled up to her ear, and then toyed with her earlobe. Now, he pressed himself against her and she could feel his athletic, muscled body against her and her knees almost buckled, to grind against him, but with just his grip on her hair, he kept her still.

Her hands were free so she took advantage of that small freedom to press them against his chest, testing her inability to budge him as well as feel his chest, letting her hands slide down over his abs, and further down still.

"I think we should get more unplatonic," he said, grinning.

"What?" she felt out of a breath and light-headed. A group of neurons managed to heroically group and supply, "non-platonic."

"Get more non-platonic-ker?" he suggested.

Her hand groped his crotch bluntly, feeling his hard length extended under one of his pockets.

Meanwhile, his other hand not on her hair was gripping the inside of her thigh, the side of his hand, tantalizing close to her labia. She squirmed trying to make contact. "You're making fun of me..."

"I prefer to think of it as pacing ourselves," he said, gently, but inexorably moving her head to tilt down toward him.

"What? And you get to pick the pace?"

She saw that look of controlled masculine smugness on his face and felt equal parts arousal and resistance. He kissed her again, his tongue slipping into her mouth, and she sighed into him. They held the position as they continued to grope at each other. It felt like he was targeting her body with precision strikes while she was just flailing at him, touching anything and everything he allowed her to.

Soon he began to maneuver her body over to her bed, lightly holding her hand as he led her for a change of pace. He stopped in front of her bed, which was a twin - ironically named because fitting two people on one is an impossibility. Jay led her to it, and then let go of her hand. For the first time since they started making out, he wasn't constraining her in anyway. She looked to the bed and then back at him, as he stood before the bed, that slight smile on his lips.

She wrapped her arms around his broad shoulders, once again taking pleasure in his dimensions. Sarah nuzzled the crook of his neck, kissing the muscles along his nape. He made a pleased little sighing noise and she continued, trying to kiss his cheek, then nibble on his earlobe as he had earlier. She watched as that smile became more of a smirk as he tilted his head away, allowing her more access.

Her hands began rappelling down his physique, like hapless climbers giving into gravity. She grabbed his crotch again, another hand on his butt which was shockingly firm. Sarah pulled back and looked down at it with her brows furrowing. "Jeezus."

He chuckled.

She continued rubbing her hands over him, letting them venture below his shirt. His skin was smooth and soft above layers of toned muscle.

"Um," she swallowed, feeling flushed and knowing that she was blushing. "Why aren't you doing anything?"

He laughed this time. "I was just seeing what you would do."

"You're... umm... why are you," she said.

"Yes?"

"You... but you were, you were so nice!" She was aware she was sputtering now. It was like giving a presentation with no prepared speech and never having seen any of the slides before. She felt so embarrassed and lost, that she had no idea what to do. "You were sweet, and... now you're just toying with me!"

His hand came up, the first time he'd move in several moments, and he gently cupped her chin with thumb and forefinger, giving her another kiss, a chaste pressing of lips together. "That's because you're my toy," he said.

He placed his hand across her throat, thumb and fingers around her thin and long neck, but he applied almost no pressure there. Just enough to keep his hand there.

She swallowed, feeling her hands hanging at her sides, her breathing increasing again. She licked her lips waiting as he pushed just enough to make her backup and guided her to sit on her bed. Jay delivered another kiss to her lips as he pushed again with minimal force, urging her to lay back, legs flanking him, dangling off the bed.

Once she was flat on her back, he pulled back again, hand resting on her throat. The other hand went to her jeans, and if she had been in any vantage or state of mind to observe or consider it, she'd been impressed with how he undid her belt, button, and zipper on her jeans with one hand.

His hand crept into her open pants, laying on top of her mons, as his fingers lightly applied pressure onto the fabric over her vulva. Sarah realized that her bra had become undone at some point, feeling the straps laying loose under her back.

"I like your panties," he said. "Cute."

She didn't even remember what color they were, but they weren't particularly fancy underwear because she didn't own any. Her underwear came in a six pack from Costco.

Her mom might have bought her the last package of underwear on a shopping trip.

The hand was removed from her neck and they gripped the sides of her open jeans and pulled them down until they were tangled around her ankles. Air on her wet lips below made her realize he had taken everything off. She propped herself up on her elbows, looking down at him, watching as he moved her legs and positioned his head between her thighs.

"Uh, I..."

He looked at her, her knees bent around his broad shoulders, her ankles still bound together by jeans and, yes, bright green standard panties.

"Yes?" He asked, kissing the middle of her thighs. She could feel his breath faintly on her soaking lips.

She couldn't remember what she was going to say. Maybe she didn't have anything to say at all. She sought for something, and came up with, "hey! Someone's a little overdressed. At least take off the shirt."

"Ah, of course," he said.

He straightened up and reached up for her shirt, and then tugged it off up and over her head, followed by removing her bra which was tossed behind him. Only after this did she realize this was the opposite of what should have happened. "Hey! I meant... you!"

"Oh, right. I must have misheard you," he said with a smirk.

He reached down and peeled off his shirt that clung to his physique, and dropped it aside.

"Is that better?" he asked.