The Birth of Desire

In the lonely hours of the morning she awaits His arrival. She waits with a longing that she cannot describe, but it comes from somewhere deep down inside where she keeps those feelings that she believes others would think should never be felt. Her anticipation grows as the time draws near for Him to come driving up the driveway as he returns home from work. She notices that her breathing has quickened and her heart rate has increased as well. Why this happens to her, is a mystery, (at least to those who would not understand), but it happens nonetheless. She recalls the first time she had ever met Him. They had spoken on the phone one evening and she had immediately felt a connection and was drawn to his strong sounding voice. They easily became friends and began to learn more and more about each other as time went on. He discovered, (with her help), that He was a very Dominant man. He learned from her what it meant to be a Dominant and how His dominance would fit together with her submissiveness.

These thoughts play over in her mind as she waits for Him trying not to fidget with her only garment, well if you could call it a garment. It consisted of a tiny piece of leather that barely covered her crotch, and several lengths of chain to form the "torso" and the "brassier" for it. All of this was held together by other little scraps of leather designed to be used to adjust the fit. As her anxiety continued to grow, so did her arousal. She wasn't just a slut who couldn't get enough or anything, she was just a woman who was turned on by the fact that she had given herself totally and completely to this man. The very idea would seem ludicrous to most people but it was just as natural as breathing to her. She did have a fairly high sex drive but again her arousal was more than just sexual and even more difficult to express or explain. She was being rewarded today for something that she had done to please Him and because of this her excitement would most likely grow a hundred fold before the day was over.

She tries hard not to look at the clock knowing that to do so would only make her crazy as she sat on the couch pretending to pay attention to the TV program that was blaring at her with some talk show host mundanely speaking about why it was shameful for the man on the hot seat to be cheating on his wife, while trying to sound sympathetic to the sad wife when in actuality he could care less as long as they helped his ratings go up. With her pulse pounding in her ears, she waits. With her mind wondering crazily around dancing over random thoughts, she waits. With her insides churning like the swirling smoke of a forest fire, she waits. She waits because He has told her to do so and she gleefully does His bidding without question for she does not want to fall under His displeasure. That would be a gut wrenching thing for her. To have Him upset with, or disappointed, in her is not something she enjoys at all. When that happens she feels that she has failed him and her guilt compounds itself in her soul until she is choked with it.

She hears a vehicle grinding up the driveway and then it veers off towards the neighbor's house until she can hear it no longer. She suppresses an inward sigh as she realizes that it wasn't Him. Without looking, she knows that it is already past time for Him to be home from work and wonders if He is being purposely late just to make her feel this way or to test her patience and her emotional control. She puts that thought out of her mind as quickly as it entered because He wouldn't do that to her. Her trust and confidence in Him is pure and complete and because of this she knows that He would never test her on a day when she was receiving a reward from Him. She looks lovingly at the implements that He had asked her to gather and lay out for what would be part of her reward. The love she feels isn't for the tools themselves, but for the man who will be using them to give her what she needs. No, "need" isn't a strong enough word for what she feels. The word "craves" comes to her mind as her thoughts race back and forth inside of her head on a seemingly endless flight, round and round inside of her mind like a dog chasing its own tail. She takes a deep breath and suddenly realizes that she actually had the word "love" in her thoughts of Him. Even though she has never said that word to Him it is true. She does love Him. She can't vocalize how much she loves Him, but it is a great amount. She is unaware of the fact that He new long before she would even admit that she had ANY feelings for Him that she falling in love with Him.

Risking a quick look at the clock, she becomes more nervous when she sees that it is twenty minutes past the time that He would normally be home. Now she begins to wonder if perhaps her first thoughts of Him testing her could be a reality. Just then she hears the rumblings of His truck pulling into His parking space next to her red SUV. The dogs are going crazy as they each try to get His attention in hopes that He might turn a word of acknowledgement their way. He swears that His dog Lakita, loves her more than she does Him. It is true that His dog does love her like she has never loved any other woman in His life, but she also knows that dog will always be His no matter how much He protests about it.

Quietly she gets up off of the couch and moves to the center of the living room and gets down on her knees. Toes touching, eyes lowered, hands on thighs palms up. He has never asked this of her because He knows how much pain she endures each day. She just wants Him to see how much she really does love and respect Him by making this sacrifice that she knows He will appreciate more than most men would simply because He knows what it takes for her to get into this position. With her body shaking in a kind of nervous fear, arousal, anticipation, and longing, she sets herself and gets ready to speak the greeting that she has worked on so hard just for Him. The key turns in each of the door locks and then the front door opens. He steps through the entrance and closes the door behind Him pausing in mid stride to the coat tree when He notices her kneeling on the floor before Him. His slight intake of breath is the only thing she hears that lets her know that so far she has impressed Him.

As He stands there towering above her, she begins her greeting. She speaks in a slightly nervous whisper at first, but her voice gains in strength and confidence as she spews out her words in the most precise and articulate fashion that she can muster. "Greetings my one." "i am presenting myself to You in this manner to show You the utmost respect and to give myself to You in the completeness of O/our joining of Heart, Mind, Body and Soul." "i will wear Your collar with pride, and i will do my best to make You proud of me, not only as Your woman, Your companion, or Your lover, but as Your submissive." "i give myself to You gladly and i put my trust in You to return to me Your love, trust, and guidance just as You give me Your Dominance." There, she said it. It wasn't what she felt was the most soul grabbing statement she had ever made to Him, (she was always overly critical of herself), but she sure hoped that He would be pleased with her words and accept the gift of her submission. She holds out her hands without looking at him and hands him the collar. She has secretly had some work done to it that she knows that he will be impressed with.

For what seemed like forever in her mind she waits for his response. He is quiet for several moments after her speech hit his ears. His quietness is not from displeasure, no not at all, but from shear surprise. He has been struck speechless by the tiny figure before him. His heart has jumped into his throat and his soul has turned to Jell-O. His mind has just gone completely numb. However, these are things that he cannot let her know. Now, it his turn to have a tremor in his voice as he speaks to her. Now, it his turn to be all full of nerves and frightful that he might say the wrong thing. He has waited for this day in anticipation for many long months, and even though he has practiced what he would say to her in his mind hundreds of times, his mouth has gone dry and his throat has closed up with the weight and magnitude of what she has just given to him.

He steals himself internally and speaks to her in firm, strong, yet loving tones. "you have given to me more than I could ever have asked. you have made me more proud that I could possibly express." He takes the collar from her and encircles her beautiful neck with it. "I have waited for this day for a long, long, time and as I place this collar around your neck, I am sealing the bond between us as more than just man and woman. We are now bound truly at O/our Hearts, Minds, Bodies, and souls." "I will give you my Dominance just as you have given me your submission." Taking a moment to swallow quietly he continues, "Hold you head high and walk beside me as we travel through this life together, as Mine, and yours." He bids her to rise and face him. "Stand little one and look at me."

All of this may seem a little formal to those outside the D/s world, but in reality what has just transpired is in essence, a marriage ceremony. Vows were spoken, gifts were given and a ring was placed. The ring, called a collar, is placed around the neck of the submissive just as a wedding ring is placed around the ring finger of the left hand at a wedding. This collar is made of 14kt gold with a 14kt gold charm in the shape of a disk that has the D/s symbol hand engraved on the back. All the transactions of marriage were displayed but the bond is much deeper than your "normal" marriage. The bond in a "true" D/s relationship goes to the very core of their beings right down to the very nerve endings of their souls. So, as his finishes his promises to her, he pulls her in close to seal her in the protection of his arms.