I hope to expand this into a much longer story, please bear with me. Feel free to message in the comments in any way I can improve the writing for you ^ ^ otherwise I hope you enjoy!
*****
The icy chill of the winter air bit harshly into my skin as a small gust of wind blew across my face. I pulled up the collar of my coat closer to my cheeks before crossing my arms over my chest in a vain attempt at keeping out the cold as I made my way home from work. I kept my eyes on the frozen pavement just ahead of me, a small mist fading in and out of view with my breathing. Cursing the flurry of snow, I shivered as I shimmied down the path until I reached my apartment block, the old brickwork and faded graffiti giving it a worn and run down look.
I stepped inside, tapping the toes of my snow-clad boots against the mat at the entrance before pacing over to the other side of the small entrance hall.
"Looks a bit nippy, eh?" I heard a familiar voice. I turned and looked at the plush face of Stuart, the desk attendant that was just running through the books at the front desk. He looked up at me and smile.
"'A bit' would be an understatement." I replied, pulling my coat tighter around me.
I turned back to the entrance corridor and made my way towards the stairs, pulling off my hat and gloves and shoving them in my pockets. I shook my head to loosen the brown hairs that were tucked underneath and into the collar, tucking my hands underneath and pulling them out to sit down my back and shoulders more casually. I continued undoing my coat, brushing off the snow and reaching into the pocket for my keys. After a moment of fumbling around with them I opened up the door, hung up my outdoor ware and tucked my keys in a small desk draw by the entrance.
I took a quick glance in the mirror, tutting at my hat hair, red-ringed eyes and rosy nose. I spent a moment fixing myself up for no real reason, before taking off my boots and heading into the kitchen. I put the kettle on and, after quickly getting changed, wrapped myself in a blanket, pulled on my slippers and made myself a quick cup of hot chocolate with cream on top, before curling up in front of the television. I turned it on and with a sniff took a sip, slurping up as much of the cream with it as possible.
News on the weather forecast and later a couple sports reviews lolled on, nothing interesting really catching my eye, other than a message or two being shown as 'breaking news' in the red banner that scrolled along the bottom. I shuddered at reading that another body had been found mutilated and dumped in some god forsaken corner somewhere in the city, making it the 9th one this month.
Recently, bodies had been found, torn, shred and quartered in random allies and ditches about the city. No evidence had been found, indicating the killer, and anyone thought to have had any information on the killer ended up on the missing persons list, and more often than not, soon after found in the same state as the rest of the bodies. It made me cringe, knowing that someone was doing something so monstrous to people, people not too far from me, and that it had been going on for nearly 5 months now, the death toll raking up to almost 40.
I turned off the TV and sat there silently for a few more minutes, staring out the 3rd floor window, watching the flurry of snowflakes dance and scatter across the frost-framed window whilst I finished my hot chocolate. A few minutes later and I groaned sadly to myself as I took a sip to find an empty cup, so I got up, washed the mug, and as I was putting it away, heard a buzzing from the intercom by the door.
Who would be calling at this time? I thought, looking at the clock just above the counter, reading 9:48. I walked over and pressed the response button;
"Hello, Stuart?" I said, leaning against the wall to the side.
"Hello, Mr Buvelle? There's someone here who wishes to speak with you." I raised an eyebrow in surprise. I rarely had visitors, probably because I rarely spoke to people.
"Who is it? Do you have a name?"
I waited for a moment before getting a response, much quieter this time though, partly muffled, as if hiding the mouthpiece.
"No, he won't tell me, only that he must speak with you urgently."
I sat there for a moment before huffing lightly, "Fine, tell him I'll be down in a moment." and with a quick 'very good sir' on the other end, the conversation ended.
I clad myself in a thick light blue dressing gown that hung against the bedroom door just next to me, I made my way to the buildings lobby. I walked in, looking around momentarily before my gaze was set on a mound of black cloth. The door shut automatically behind me as I looked at the bundle, and as the door closed with a small click, the bundle rose, turned to me and strode forward. I felt my chest tighten as a mountain of a man hulked up to me, his chest inches from my face, but despite the intimidation, I steeled my face as best I could, putting on a small smile, that I feared appeared more sarcastic and forced than intended, "Uh, I'm sorry, but have we met before?"
The man just stood there, wrapped heavily in a thick black coat that ended inches from the floor, his collar stood tall around his neck, a scarf tied around his neck and a black flat cap that shadowed his entire face. Whether I knew him or not I couldn't possibly tell, but I his hulking figure made no resemblance to anyone I immediately recognized, and his shadowed face made it impossible. A chill ran up my spine, making my arms pull out in goose bump. I felt him stare at me and I fell away meekly, with which I saw a him smile.
Though I couldn't see the rest of his face, I didn't like his wolfish grin, it was unsettling, creeping me out. I was about to back away when his hand rose and cupped my cheek, his thumb lightly brushing a hair out of my face. I whimpered unintentionally as I saw his grin widen, a growl rumbling from deep within his chest. I quickly pulled away and what sounded like a chuckle slipped his lips. I felt another shiver run up and down my spine. I quickly turned, feeling him staring holes into my back, keeping on his chilling smile. I closed the partitioning door behind me and almost running up the stairs back to my apartment.
When I finally got there, I locked the door, leaned against it, and slumped to my knees, panting as though I had just run a marathon. Confusing thoughts reeled through my mind, I felt scared, panicked. Nothing had even happened and I didn't want to spend another second near that man. Something was terribly off with him, and I didn't want to stick around to find out. After a few minutes, I sat up and peeled myself away from the door, hanging up my dressing gown and settling down into bed. I tossed and turned restlessly for what felt like hours, thinking about the man downstairs before I finally fell asleep.
I woke up the next morning with the grace of a hippo in heels, and with a stretch, and a few minutes of sitting on the edge of the bed as the last few wisps of sleep faded away, I got up and groggily made my way into the kitchen, turned on the kettle and went to the toilet. After washing my hands and turning on the hot water tap for the bath, I returned to the kitchen and made my tea before jumping in the steamy hot bath.
After getting washed and cleaned, I got dressed in faded boot cut jeans, thick snow boots with a red t-shirt I quickly found before zipping it all in my thick white coat and leaving the apartment, making my way down to the grocery store a few blocks down the road. The thick hail of snow from last night had stopped, leaving a thick, crisp and even blanket of white down the street. I smiled inwardly, just barely containing myself from jumping into it like a child, before I heard the gentle scrunching of footsteps in the snow behind me.
I unzipped my coat and pulled out my phone, pressing the home button to show me the time. I was a little confused as to why anyone else would be out and about, considering it wasn't even 6am yet. The only reason I myself was out at the time was because I wanted to get a bit of shopping done before my favorite pastries were taken later on in the day. I paid it no more thought until I noticed I couldn't hear the footsteps anymore. I turned my head slightly to peak over my shoulder, to find no one there.
In fact, there wasn't anything. The snow lay untouched, other than my own set of small footprints, and I felt a similar chill run up my spine. I turned fully, looking out for anything that could be that man from last night, but with no avail, I turned back, before a large hand clasped over my mouth and around my waist, pulling me into the dark confines of a nearby valley.
I panicked and almost scream when the hands twirled me round, holding my arms above my head and against the wall with an iron grip, a few inches off the ground. My heart sank, as I stared at eye level into the dark face of the man from last night, his haunting grin baring out at me, like he was pleased with a catch after hours of waiting. I opened my mouth to scream, before he held his finger to my lips.
"Shh..." he hushed in a deep voice, resting his hand under my chin, before tilting his own head up to look me in the eye so I could see his. My own widened in fear as deep brown, almost black eyes stared directly into my own with an intense desire so heinous, it felt like it was forbidden, and it was horrifying. "Don't scream, not unless you want your pretty little arms torn from their sockets." He said almost nonchalantly.
I tensed with fear, my eyes and mouth wide, before biting my lip against the pain as he crushed my sleeved hands against the wall, before loosening his grip again. I bit my lip to hold back the whimpers that threatened to escape, looking at the floor, the side, even the sky, just not at the man that held me against the wall.
I herd his him chuckle again, his eyes running up and down my body with wanton desire, running his hands up and down my waist, pulling himself closer in between my legs. His mouth was open and panting almost animalistically as he came in closer, before biting and sucking the soft tissue of my neck, causing me to cry out in pain. "mm" he chuckled, breathing against my neck "delicious." I stifled back tears as I looked into his eyes with fear, my stare met his own, one of intense want, lust and desire.
Fear flushed through me, giving me a moment of strength as I thrashed around in his strong grip, which simply made him hold me tighter to the point of which I could no longer feel my fingers. I sobbed silently as he returned to the nape of my neck, his free reaching up under my coat and shirt, feeling my bare skin as I trembled and writhed against his touch. I felt my heart sinking and tears ran silently down my cheeks as his hand reached around my back and into my pants, plying one of my cheeks.
In a last ditch effort, I wrapped by legs around his waist for support, before yanking my arms downwards with as much force as I could. Thought my hands came free, he still had hold of my coat sleeve, so with a bit of wiggling, i folded my legs tightly between us with my knees to my chin, before thrusting against him as hard as I could. His body edged from mine for a split second, and that was all I needed. I dropped out of my coat and to the snow below me with a quiet thud, and with frantic haste leapt to my feet in a moment, and the next I was out of the ally and running as fast as I could down the road back towards my apartment.
I heard him roaring with anger as he skidded out the alley. I heard his heavy pound against the snow behind me, and quickly gaining on me with what seemed like inhuman speed, roaring and spitting at me as we both sprint through the snow. I looked down slightly, catching his shadow quickly rearing up to mine, before leaping at me from behind. Without a moment to spare and lightning fast reactions, I turned on my heels, ducked down like a sprinter at the start of a race, and headed in the opposite direction as his body tumbled through the air just above me.
I heard him snarl angrily as he crumpled in a heap in the snow just behind me. Without turning back, I ran back the way I came before turning down another alley, and leaping behind a small bin about half way down, hiding myself in the pitch black. The smell of rotten trash was disgusting, but adrenaline pumped through my bloodstream and my heard beat like thunder in my ears. I panted silently, holding my knees tightly to my chest as I stared at my feet in anticipation.
I heard him panting angrily, just behind me. I turned my head slightly, his shadow looming at the entrance of the alley. I begged silently to myself that he doesn't find me, repeating it like a mantra in my mind. He stood there for what seemed like forever, before huffing angrily and running off down the road in his chase. I sat there sobbing silently into my knees for a few more minutes, before taking a deep breath and sitting slightly taller, looking out over the dustbin.
When I felt the coast was clear, I carefully left my hiding spot, wrapped my arms around myself and slowly plodded through the snow back home. I sniffed back my sobs as best I could, trying not to think about the whole situation that had just occurred.
Snowflakes began to dance around me, settling onto the already snow-covered pavement. I walked for what seemed like hours, shivering against the quickly thickening snow before I reached the front entrance to my apartment block. Before I went inside, I leaned my forehead against the glass doors, trying to even my breathing, my teary eyes burning against the icy cold. I opened the door, and as I turned to close it behind me, I noticed, out the corner of my eye, the silhouette of a man, hulked over in the falling snow, and though I couldn't really see, I could still feel his glare, his wolfish grin hidden beneath the shadows. I shuddered with another whimper, before quickly shutting the doors, and rushing back up to my apartment, locking the door behind me and curling up in my bed covers, sobbing quietly to myself for hours before falling asleep from exhaustion.
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Good start
It does need some editing though. A few missed words or mixed up words/spelling errors but that could be sorted by reading through a few times before posting the final edit.
I know I wouldn't be out at 6am the morning following the incident the night before but then maybe there's a reason for it. 40 murders is huge. I'm presuming there is a bit of supernatural involvement so I'm excited to read moremore...
I got why 6am to get pastries yeah haha
Hmmm very good beginning, you could add more details like mentioned in previous. comments. More adjectives also when you describe characters and what they do
Good start. Would love to read more, though a longer chapter. But it was rather confusing. You haven't explained everything properly. Why did he leave his home at 6a.m., when he had just been visited by a creepy stranger? If a serial killer was out on loose, why would he go alone? I hope you clear it up in the next chapter. By the way is this going to be supernatural? I would love it even more if it were. Keep it up!more...
hmm what to do?
You imply that this is like one of the worst serial killer cases ever. 40 people in one month. I'd have liked for you to tell us more about what type of people were disappearing. Was it a certain type of person? A certain demographic? You say that people who were, I assume witnesses, were also disappearing. Did this mean people were afraid to contact the police? Why is this guy then going out at 6am when guy he didn't know who seemed threatening came to his apartment the night before. Seems a bit dumb to me, but that is just me. I'd think people wouldn't be leaving their homes alone with that many people missing.
I wonder what this guy can do now? Are we to assume this guy who is bothering him is supernatural or just big and fast? I assume he isn't feeling like he should tell the cops about this?
Good start.more...
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