The Bluejay

I fired up Spotify, turned on the first Loverboy album, and adjusted my new over-the-ear headphones. I had moved away from the in-ear style. They always started to hurt after a few minutes. My walk usually lasted about an hour, and I had to have music, so I splurged and bought myself a pair of Beyerdynamic Amiron wireless ones. I looked goofy, but damn they sounded sweet.

I already looked goofy anyway, not that anybody cared how I looked. An overweight middle-aged man in bright blue jogging shorts, brilliant red running shoes, and a neon yellow tank top could not pull off cool. Not to mention, my white knee-high athletic socks didn't help. So, I didn't care that the large ear muffs looked so 1980's. I was a child of the '80s, and damn proud of it.

I did a few stretches on my front sidewalk as I sang along to the words of The Kid is Hot Tonight when movement caught my eye. I glanced up and saw a bluejay perched on a branch of my neighbor's giant oak tree. It seemed to be staring at me.

Bluejays had always been one of my favorite birds. Not that I'm an ornithologist or anything. It's just that when I was a kid, I grew up on a farm in North Carolina. My mother had been a bird watcher and bluejays were a rarity. I remember she got all excited about seeing one on our back deck once.

"Bluejays are special, Jimmy," she told me. "The Cherokee revere them. The bluejay usually lives in a big old oak tree year after year, no matter what happens. They're steadfast and overcome any kind of challenges that come their way. That's why the bluejay spirit animal symbolizes overcoming hardship and pulling through. Some folks claim that bluebirds are harbingers of happiness. I always thought they were my lucky bird. So, whenever you see one, something good is going to happen."

I stared at the bird, with hopeful eyes. I could use some of that good fortune now because things in the Hudson household had been pretty bad lately. My wife Mindy and I had nearly gotten a divorce after twenty years of marriage when I found out she was dating her personal trainer, a muscle-headed jerk named Derek ten years her junior. Mindy swore on the life of our kids that she hadn't cheated, yet.

I wasn't sure if I believed her, but she seemed remorseful and promised never to see him again. My trust was shattered, but a part of me wanted to forgive her. So, I agreed to get counseling and to give it a few months before I decided whether to divorce her or stay together. We were on what you might call probation. Since then, our sex life had come to a complete halt, not that it was all that active before Derek.

Maybe the bluejay was a sign. Mindy and I were going through a rough period, but if I stuck with her, perhaps we would be alright. Maybe happiness was coming to us. I glanced back at the house, where Mindy was still in bed. I drew a deep breath, smiled and nodded at the bird.

"Ok, Mr. Bluejay," I said out loud, "I'll do my best to make it work."

I mean, after all, she hadn't actually had sex with Derek. It had just been a passing infatuation with a studly younger man who flirted with her. She and I had history; we were family. Derek was just muscles. Family trumps muscles.

The Bluejay leaped into the air, darted across the street, and headed off in search of breakfast. Feeling better, I started my walk. Ever since I found out about Derek, I had become determined to lose weight and get back in shape. Twenty years of overindulgence had taken a toll on my body. I had put on forty pounds too much, most of it around the midsection. My idea of exercise had been going to the fridge to grab another beer.

Mindy had let herself go too, but about eight months ago we joined a fancy gym. "Gym" wasn't the right word for it. To me, a gym had a boxing ring in the center. This place had a spa, several pools, water slides, and three hot tubs. It was more like a resort with an emphasis on exercising.

Mindy would go there and work out, take yoga and Zumba classes. I would hit the weight room, look around a bit, then go sit in the sauna or jacuzzi until it was time to go. Sometimes, we would meet up and have a smoothie on the patio by the outdoor pool. I would sneak in some rum in a water bottle to spike mine.

Then one day Mindy got the great idea to finally take advantage of one of the perks of membership, free introductory sessions with a personal trainer. We met with Derek, and I instantly hated him, but Mindy was smitten from day one. I could see it but just rolled my eyes. There was no way, I thought, that a hot guy like Derek would be interested in a frumpy middle-aged mom of two college-age kids. Shows what I know.

I didn't go back after the first session. I'd had all of Derek I could handle, but Mindy immediately signed up for ongoing private lessons. I didn't care. It meant she would be spending a lot more time there then I would, but that was fine. I would have more time for Call of Duty and internet porn.

Well, whatever Derek had been doing, it worked. Mindy dropped weight and started looking fantastic. Her old figure came back and with it an amount of confidence I'd not seen in her in years. She started getting her hair done in stylish, shall we say "younger" ways. She started dressing sexier too. I liked the change in her, so I didn't complain. Hell, I thought it was for my benefit.

Our friends noticed the change in her too. She got compliments all the time. A couple of months ago, we had a cookout at one of our neighbors. We had to go separately because Mindy had a class that she couldn't miss. I went early to help with the grilling, but it was actually just so that I could start drinking earlier. A couple of hours later, Mindy showed up. She was wearing a bikini top and a skirt. Her whole midriff was showing, and her cleavage was on full display. I was shocked.

Mindy didn't even come over to say hello to me. I saw her across the patio talking to one of the local yentas, and we exchanged nods.

"Damn, Jim," came the gruff voice of Tom Sanders, neighborhood jackass. "What the fuck has Mindy been doing? She looks fucking hot."

I didn't appreciate his crude remark about my wife and let him know it. "Sorry, man, but shit. Look at those tits! She has that just-been-fucked look to her too. Did you bone her before you came here?"

"What?" I asked in shock. "No, she had a class with her personal trainer."

"Personal fuck-toy is more like it," Tom said laughing. "You're a cuckold and don't even know it. She's fucking that guy."

"Fuck off, Tom!" I snapped. "You're such a prick. Shut your mouth before I shut it for you!"

My friends had to step between us to keep us from getting into it. I'm not much of a fighter, but Tom was as skinny as a toothpick and a short little fucker. I knew I could whoop his ass. After they separated us, I stewed in anger for a while. I had a few more beers to help me calm down. By the time food was served, I was pretty drunk.

I took a plate of brisket and went to sit on a bench in the garden away from everyone else, still kind of ticked off over Tom's comments. Mindy found me and finally said hello. She kissed me on the cheek and sat down next to me to eat. "How was your session with Derek today?" I asked, my voice sounding harsher and more sarcastic than I intended.

"Good, as usual," she said. "Derek wore me out."

"Yeah, I bet he fucking did," I snapped.

Mindy got a weird look on her face. "You're drunk," she said, stating the obvious.

"Yeah, and you're fucking hot," I said.

Mindy giggled, nervously. "Well, thanks," she said. "Glad you finally noticed."

"Everybody noticed," I said, my words coming out slowly and only slightly slurred. "Tom says you look like you just got fucked before you got here."

She blushed and looked away. "Tom is a jackass and has no idea what a woman looks like after she's been fucked. Blow-up dolls don't react."

I snickered. "Yeah, you got a point." Then the booze got the best of me, and I blurted out, "Are you fucking Derek?"

Mindy stared at me for a few seconds, then stood up and declared, "You're an ass. Talk to me when you're sober, if you ever are."

With that, she turned and walked away, leaving the party and me. I stumbled home after her, but she wouldn't talk to me. I don't blame her; I was shit-faced and an asshole. I passed out on the couch and woke up in the middle of the night, wrapped in a blanket. I guess she wasn't mad enough to let me get cold. I took that as a positive sign.

The next day was unpleasant. I had a major hangover and a pissed off wife. We both tiptoed around the topic all day, with neither of us wanting to bring it up. Finally, as we sat down to dinner, she asked, "How could you ask me something like that?"

"I was drunk," I said as if that was an excuse. "But, that asswipe Tom got me to thinking. You have changed, Mindy. You look damn good and there's some kind of spark in you now, that hasn't been there in a long time. I got scared. It would kill me if you were fucking that jerk."

Mindy shook her head. "He's not a jerk, and I'm not fucking him."

"I think you should get a new personal trainer," I said suddenly.

"What?" she snapped. "Why would I do that? Derek is good at his job and has helped me so much. Why should I get a new trainer?"

"I don't like him," I stated. "I don't like how he looks at you."

"You've never seen him look at me!" she yelled. "You're never there. When you are at the gym, you're just sitting in the hot tub. You have no idea what I do or how Derek looks at me."

"I saw him that one time," I replied.

"You mean at the first session? You've got to be kidding me. You're just jealous and insecure because of what that prick Tom told you. Fuck Tom and fuck you. I'm happy with Derek, and I'm not changing trainers."

She stomped away without even eating. She locked herself in the bedroom, and I had to spend another night on the couch. When I woke up the next morning, there was no blanket.

I couldn't get Mindy and the possibility that she might be fucking Derek out of my head. Was she being honest with me, or was she secretly fucking that guy? Why would she do that? I took a long hard look at myself in the mirror. I had looked at myself many times, but I think that was the first time I had truly seen myself. I barely recognized the old, worn-out man who stared back at me. I was a disgusting pig. No wonder Mindy wanted to fuck a hot, good-looking, muscular younger man. How could I blame her?

That was the day I quit drinking and started to get in shape. The gout in my feet wouldn't let me run. It hurt too much. Hell, walking was hard enough, but I could at least do that. I started with one time around the block and was shocked at how exhausted that had made me. I gradually worked up to a mile, then more. My latest course would take me down to the park, past the little lake, and around the golf course. Then, I'd come out on the back side of the neighborhood and snake my way around until I came back up from the creek to our house. It usually took me over an hour, sometimes more. It depended on how bad the gout was. Lately, it hardly bothered me at all.

A couple of weeks went by, and things were cold at home. Mindy hardly talked to me and when she did it wasn't because she wanted to. I felt terrible to have upset her, but somewhere in my brain, I couldn't shake the feeling that maybe Tom was right. That's when I decided to follow her.

It was a Saturday, and she would typically be at the gym for four hours. She'd do a couple of classes and get in a good workout, then end her day with a massage. She had the same routine every Saturday for the past few months.

I pretended to be watching college football when she left, then jumped up and ran to my truck and headed out. I couldn't see her anywhere, but if she was going to the gym, I didn't need to follow her carefully. However, if she went somewhere else, I'd never know where. I drove to the gym, hoping to God that's where she went. As I was pulling into the parking lot, I saw her entering the large glass entrance. I parked far away from her car and made my way inside.

I was dressed in work out clothes, so I tried to fit in. I stood just inside the basketball courts where I would see the exit of the ladies locker room and waited. A few minutes later, Mindy came out dressed in a tight pair of pink yoga pants and a matching pink tube top. I could see her hard nipples poking the pink fabric out. It didn't feel all that cold in here, so I wondered if they were hard because she was horny.

I watched her walk by and noticed how sexy her ass had gotten. I followed her at a safe distance and waited until she went upstairs to go up after her. When I got to the top, I saw her walk up to Derek. He was bent over adjusting some weights. Mindy's hand went to his ass and rubbed it. He jumped up, turned around and smiled.

The asshole put his arms around my wife.

He kissed her, and she kissed him back.

My heart broke. I couldn't believe it. Someone bumped into me, and I quickly moved to a darkened room where they taught classes and slipped inside. I could see out, but I doubted anyone would notice me. I watched them as they worked out. He was a handsy bastard, touching Mindy all over. She was touching him just as much. They laughed. They giggled. They kissed several times.

She never seemed concerned that someone might see her slutty behavior. She clearly didn't care. That is when I remembered I had my cell phone, so I pulled it out and started taking pictures of my cheating wife through the glass. After an hour or so, they seemed to finish and went downstairs. I came out of the room and ran to catch up, hiding behind a corner like a spy or something. I crept down the stairs and watched.

To my surprise, they didn't go back to the locker rooms. Instead, they went to an office and closed the door. I walked over and noticed the sign by the door said Derek Jones, Personal Trainer. I tried to listen at the door, but couldn't hear anything. I thought about barging in on them, but as I reached for the doorknob, someone spoke to me.

"Can I help you?" asked a woman in the sporty uniform of the gym's employees.

"Uh, no," I stammered. "I'm fine."

She watched me suspiciously, so I left and went to my truck to wait. A couple of hours passed before I saw Mindy come out. She had changed clothes and looked freshly showered. Her hair was still wet. Derek came out behind her, and they walked hand-in-hand to her car. He pushed her up against the driver's door and kissed her passionately. She put her arms around his neck, and they swapped spit. I got a few good shots of that.

I wanted to beat her home, so I started up the truck and peeled out of the parking lot. I drove in a rage, breaking all the local speed limits on the way. I went inside and fired up the big screen TV, then brought up the photos I'd taken as a slideshow and cast it to the screen, watching my wife being a slut with her studly lover on the 60-inch in glorious 4K detail.

When she arrived, she was singing and dropped her bag on the kitchen table. She saw me and smiled. "How were your games?" she asked.

I ignored her.

She walked into the family room, smelling of soap. She approached me, but I only stared at the screen.

"What are you watching?" she asked then turned to the screen in slow motion. She looked at the TV as it showed her making out with Derek at her car. The realization of what she was seeing hit her, and she gasped.

"Oh my God!" she let out.

The picture changed and you could see her hand was gripping Derek's cock through his shorts.

"Jimmy, baby, it... it... It's not..." she stammered.

"Not what I think?" I asked sarcastically. "Then, tell me, slut, what is it?"

"Baby," she began, but I cut her off.

"Don't call me baby," I snarled.

"Jim, we, Derek and I, oh shit," she was struggling with what to say. "I swear to you, nothing has happened. We're not fucking, Jim. Not yet. I swear it!"

"You expect me to believe that?" I asked while chuckling. "I saw you fondling each other while you worked out. I saw you go in his office. What were you doing in there for two hours if you weren't fucking?"

"Talking," she replied. "I swear it, baby, we were only talking. Well, we were kissing too, but that's all. Just talking and kissing some."

"You must think I'm a fool," I said coldly. "I'll be moving into a hotel today. You can stay here. I'll meet with a divorce attorney on Monday. I suggest you do the same."

"Divorce?" she cried out, with real tears running down her face. "Jim, please, we can get through this. I didn't fuck him. I haven't even sucked his cock. He wants me to, but I won't do it. I told him I wouldn't cheat on you. That's why we were in there so long. I was telling him I'm getting a new personal trainer, just like you said. That's what you want, right? I-I told him this was our last session."

"So, you were making out while you told him it's over?"

"No, not like that. I mean when I told Derek we were done, he asked me to make out one last time to remember me by. So, I did, but we kept our clothes on the whole time. I swear it. Jim, I'm not a slut! I wouldn't do that to you! I wouldn't do that to us!"

"Yeah, right," I responded. I flipped through many of the pictures of them laughing and kissing. "You sure don't look like someone saying goodbye."

"I-I did it after that," she said, "I didn't want to make a big deal about it until we were in private. I swear to you Jim, on our children's lives, I never had sex with that man."

After that, she broke down crying and begged me not to leave her. Somehow, she got to me. I must be a sucker for a crying woman. I told her I needed a few days to think. I went to a hotel and did meet with a divorce lawyer. He strongly advised me to try to work it out, if I could. He made it very clear just how badly I would fare if we went to divorce. Even though she was cheating, it wouldn't make much difference. So, when Mindy suggested we go to counseling, I reluctantly agreed.

We had gone to one session, and I thought it went well. Mindy admitted her guilt and apologized for how she had hurt and betrayed me, but repeatedly swore that she had remained faithful, at least sexually. She said it was an emotional affair, but it was over.

I stopped walking at an intersection as I waited for traffic to pass before crossing the street. I softly sang "Why don't you turn me loose, turn me loose," then continued my walk, heading for the park entrance. I felt inspired, hopeful. Maybe things would work out, and Mindy and I would be happy again.

I saw a flash of blue and caught sight of the Bluejay off to my left flitting from tree to tree happily chasing a bug. "Ok, Mr. Bluejay, you're right." Hell, I felt good enough to try jogging. After a few steps, I changed my mind and went back to walking.

As I passed under a large, overhanging branch something fell, fluttering to the ground in front of me. I looked down; it was a long gray feather with a stripe of white and another of blue. I looked up as another feather fell, followed by two more. Suddenly it was like a cloud of feathers were falling about me.

"Mr. Bluejay?" I looked into the tree, unclear as to what was happening. I saw an abnormally large bird sitting on a branch. As I stared, puzzled, it bent down and bit into something it was clutching in its claws. More feathers fell. Then I saw it. The hawk was eating the twitching body of the beautiful Bluejay.

A surprising feeling of loss came over me. I felt like crying, and I knew it wasn't about the poor bird. I turned around and walked back home.

I went inside and walked upstairs to our bedroom. I heard voices. At first, I thought it was the TV. As I drew nearer to the door, I recognized Mindy's voice. She was talking with a man whose voice I instantly knew.