The Book of David Ch. 01

I only drove a block away from Ellie's house before I pulled over to the side of the road. Monica said nothing as I turned the engine off and left us in the dead silence.

A few minutes passed. A minute doesn't seem like a long time until you actually FEEL the seconds slowly ticking by. One...

Two...

Three...

A few hundred of those feel like an eternity.

And then I finally said, "I thought you wanted to wait until Prom night."

"For you, I would have," she answered immediately. I saw her glance at me for just a moment. And then she looked away and out her own side window. "But I guess you couldn't wait for ME."

She knew. Clearly she knew. I fumbled around in my head, searching for the right combination of words to form an apology that would get me out of this mess, but no such words were forthcoming.

"'I'm sorry' just doesn't cut it. But it's all I've got," I said quietly. "I'm sorry. I should have waited for you."

"Yes, you should have. But you didn't." Her tone wasn't as harsh as her words. Instead, she just seemed... sad. "I guess I shouldn't have expected any more from you."

"Why not? Aren't you supposed to expect the best from your boyfriend?" I felt sooooo guilty inside. My head knew what was right and moral. It's just that my OTHER head didn't.

"Maybe. But then my mom warned me not to expect too much from an overstimulated eighteen-year-old." Monica's voice was now bitter with disappointment. "I guess in a way, it's my own fucking fault for switching with Ellie in the first place last week."

"Why did you?" I had to ask.

"She was right. I was curious. But even more than me being curious about another man, I was curious about YOU and another girl. Everyone's always asking me how I got you to be so faithful to me all these years without putting out. It's as if I had some magic touch."

"You do have a magic touch." I couldn't help but smile at the memories of her magic touch and all the wonders it brought to me.

"Not magic enough," she spat. "Dammit, I told you don't forget how good I can be!" she yelled.

We both went quiet for another few long minutes.

In the end, I finally asked. "How did you know?"

"I always knew. Ellie's my best friend. Last year she admitted to me she'd been crushing on you since... well, since fourth grade. She just never made a move since you were first obsessed with her sister and then dating me."

"Really?" My ego had wanted to believe every cute girl was secretly in love with me, including Ellie. But my head had shut those thoughts down a long time ago.

"Really. She wasn't lying when she said she'd let you fuck her if you ever stopped to ask."

"Wait, wait. If you knew she was going after me, why didn't you try to stop her?"

Monica looked down at the floor of the car. She was silent for a long time and I just tried to wait her out. Despite the fact that we'd both cheated on each other, there was surprisingly no anger. This conversation was a turning point in both our lives.

"I chose not to stop her. I even gave her a green light. After last Friday, after she gave you a blowjob and I blew Nate just to know what it would be like, we talked on the phone for like... hours... And then Saturday at the movies, I spent the entire time reassuring her that I meant what I said."

"What did you say?"

"I told her to go for it. If you and her were meant to be together then you were meant to be together. She wanted you... badly." Monica looked up at me. "If I stopped her she might always resent me for it."

I wasn't sure how to respond. I didn't have to.

Monica fixed me with her serious glare. "I knew I would love you so much more for staying loyal to me. But if you couldn't resist her..." Her hands balled into fists and she closed her eyes. "If you couldn't be faithful, then you didn't deserve my virginity."

Her eyes flew open, filled with as much fire and anger as I'd ever felt from her before. "And you didn't deserve it."

"So it was a test!" I spat. I don't respond well to being manipulated like this.

"And you failed." Her voice was cold.

"And did Nate deserve your virginity?" I accused. It was my turn to be angry.

The comment seemed to deflate her. She stuttered a few times before muttering "Well..."

"Well, what?"

"I don't know!" she yelled, visibly upset with herself. "It... it was a rash decision. I was so angry with you."

For a minute, Monica's eyes waggled back and forth as she stared down at the floor trying to organize her thoughts. "I mean, immediately after Ellie seduced you on Monday she called me to admit everything. And then I couldn't help but notice how you completely stopped trying to get into my pants for the whole week. Hell, the only time we did anything naughty was when I had to initiate a blowjob before practice on Thursday. By game night, I was just really, really pissed at you. I wanted to hurt you. And so... I did it."

We lapsed into silence for another few minutes.

At long last, I just let out a sigh that seemed to go on forever. And when my breath was gone and my shoulders sagged, I let my head roll back against the headrest. "To be honest, I feel worse for Nate than hurt by you." I turned and looked at my girlfriend. Only now, I wasn't really seeing her as my girlfriend anymore. In my heart, I knew we were done. "He really does like you, Monica. I feel bad that you used him and his feelings to lash out at me."

I let my head fall forward, burying my face in my hands. "But me? You're right." I sighed again. "I didn't deserve your virginity."

So now I was sorry. And she was sorry. And no amount of words was going to make everything right. At least not tonight.

***

"David! Pick up the phone! It's your sister!"

I was lying flat on my back, fully clothed, and staring straight at the ceiling. I just kind of rolled my eyes and blindly reached out with my left hand to grasp at the landline extension in my bedroom.

It took a couple of tries, but eventually I got a grip on the receiver and lifted it free of the cradle. "Yeah."

"Hey squirt." When we were younger and Danielle was more annoyed by my invasive presence than anything else, she referred to me as the 'little squirt'. Even now, when I was a good couple inches and a few dozen pounds heavier than her, she still used the nickname whenever she wanted to prod at me.

"I told you not to call me that," I spat.

"Well, I gotta do something to wake you up. Mom tells me you're acting even more morose than usual."

"Like she can tell."

"Mom's more perceptive than you think. Besides, you didn't even leave the house all day Saturday. What happened?"

I sighed, a long, loud breath that echoed through the phone. "It's complicated."

"Let me guess, it involves sex and Monica?"

"Well..." My tone gave it away. She knew she had guessed right.

"C'mon. You're eighteen. What else could it be?" I could hear Danielle's smile on the other end of the line. "So spill it, you're depressed you're still a virgin?"

"Uh, wellll..." My tone once again gave things away.

"Holy shit!" Danielle shrieked into the phone loud enough to make me wince in pain and pull the receiver away for a moment. "The little squirt finally popped his cherry! Whatsa matter? You a little premature or something?"

"Hey! No!" I got instantly defensive. "It's just..."

"Oh, no..." Danielle's female intuition was already leading itself, rather accurately, to the worst assumption. Her voice got quietly serious. "Did you cheat on her?"

"How the hell could you guess THAT?"

"But I'm right, aren't I? And Monica knows."

I sighed again. I was doing that a lot lately. Even though no one could see me, I hung my head in shame. "Yes."

"With who?" Having only graduated the year before, Danielle knew just about all the potential candidates at my High School.

I was about to blurt her name, but then the tangled web of relationships stopped me. "I... I can't tell you."

"Why not?"

"Because."

"Because why not?"

"Because! Well... you KNOW her."

"I know EVERYONE. I've met all those little cheerleaders you hang out with and I know all the ones who would've given it up-" Her voice came to a dead stop. Danielle's intuition was leading her well once again. "You didn't. SHE didn't."

I just squeezed my eyes shut praying Danielle hadn't guessed correctly and hoping everything would just go away.

But then Danielle's voice came back on the line with confidence in her tone. "There's only one girl you wouldn't tell me about. And that's because you know I'd HAVE to tell MY girlfriend."

My heart sank, and so did my shoulders.

"Oh, how could she do that to her best friend?"

"I told you, it's complicated!"

"David. You have to talk to Ellie. She's got to tell Cherys, and soon. Otherwise I'll have to tell Cherys, probably by tomorrow night. I can give you that much time."

"Okay, okay. I'll see her at school tomorrow."

"Look, I don't pretend to know everything. Obviously I'm not back home and I don't know what's really going on between the three of you. But Cherys and I have been watching her little sister for a long time. The girl really does like you. I'm sorry about Monica but please, try not to break Ellie's heart, too."

"I don't know if that's under my control."

"Just keep it in mind."

"I will, Danielle."

"Good. Now get up off your ass and go downstairs, at least for a few minutes. Then I can claim to mom that I was some help."

***

Monday morning, I was just closing up my locker before first period when Monica came down the hallway. Secretly, I'd been hoping I could procrastinate this until later in the day, but it looked like we'd be doing this right now.

I adjusted my backpack over my shoulder and then turned to face her. We both had rather nervous expressions as we looked at each other for the first time since that fateful Friday night.

"How you doin'?" I asked her.

"I'm okay," she replied, her nerves seeming to calm as we started into the conversation. "Feels weird not jumping at you right now, though."

My jaw clenched up as I looked up and down her dynamite body, especially her large breasts barely restrained by a tight halter-top. I mentally kicked myself for doing anything that would mean I might never touch those again. "Yeah, well... I understand."

"David, you have to believe that I will forgive you. But..."

"We're done, aren't we?" I interrupted.

"Yeah, I think that's best. Don't you?"

"To be honest, my hormones don't think so. But unfortunately, my head agrees."

"We had a good run." Monica stepped a few inches closer and looked up at me, her eyes liquid and on the verge of tears. "But..." She composed herself. "But we were bound to break up eventually. You and I weren't meant to be together forever. I just hope that we can stay friends."

"Friends. I'd like that."

In the back of my head, I knew there would be some challenges. It would be hard to ever look at her again and NOT remember what she felt like intimately. But at the same time, many of our classmates had broken up and managed to remain in the same circle of friends. Teenagers are just resilient that way.

"Besides," Monica gave a significant look behind my shoulder, and I turned to see where she was staring. Seemingly waiting, just twenty feet away, were Nate and Ellie. "I think there are other people who want to get to know us."

I turned back to Monica, and automatically I reached out with my finger to intercept the tear rolling down her left cheek. She sniffled once and then smiled. As a last gesture, she leaned up and kissed me on the cheek. And then she walked away, heading straight for our friends.

I turned and watched as Ellie split away, walking towards us. Ellie and Monica exchanged brief smiles, hopeful smiles, as they passed each other. The next thing I knew, Ellie was standing right before me.

At first she stared at the floor to compose herself before looking up at me hesitantly. Her eyes were wide and honest, her face completely absent of any seduction. She just looked like a nervous little girl. "Hi..." she managed to mumble.

Seeing her this way was so completely different from the usual teasing flirt I was used to. Ellie looked downright vulnerable and so desperate to be loved. "Hi," I replied.

She'd made her feelings clear once before and now she was frightened at how I might really respond now that everyone knew. So despite having broken up with my girlfriend literally a minute prior, I knew what I wanted to do.

"Ellie, I know this will seem very sudden. And given what happened between us last Monday it may even be a little... late. But in all seriousness, Elemis, can I take you out to dinner Friday night?"

For just a brief second, the vision of Cherys fell over Ellie's features, reminding me just why I was so powerfully attracted to her physically. And then Ellie's more innocent, sweet smile shone through. It took another moment for her to shake off her nerves, but then she leaned into my body and while wrapping her arms behind my head, she pulled me into a soft kiss.

It wasn't aggressive, it wasn't raw, but it was passionate and filled with years of unrequited longing. I had not yet sorted out what my feelings were for the pretty young woman in my arms, but I could accept the strength of her feelings for me. And I'd be happy to see where this went.

When we broke for air, I asked, "Is that a yes?"

Blinking away her own tears, Ellie smiled and nodded. "Yes!" And then the first bell rang, and it was time to move along to class.

Slowly, Ellie pulled away and checked her clothing to make sure nothing was out of place while I got a better grip on my backpack. I looked down the hallway and saw Monica and Nate walking off together, deep in their own conversation. My ex-girlfriend and my best friend. We still had a whole semester of school left. I knew with certainty that they would be big parts of my life in the near future.

But in the meantime, I had my present. I reached my hand out, and Ellie gladly took it. So hand-in-hand we walked off to our first period.

***

NEXT: CHAPTER 2