The Boyfriend Test

Wednesday I was beat so I went straight home from work and made an early night of it. Thursday at two my cell went off and I turned off the cutting torch and took the call.

"Hello?"

"Hi there my knight in shinning armor."

I recognized the voice and said, "Hello there fair damsel in distress."

"I'm about two hours out. What does your shop schedule look like?"

"Hang on, I'll go check."

I walked over to the service desk and checked the schedule. "What do you need?"

"After what happened the other night I want all the wheels looked at so a bearing pack and a trailer tune up, but I need the trailer back by tomorrow afternoon."

"I can slip you in, but I can't promise it for any earlier than close of business tomorrow."

"That will work. As long as I'm on the road by seven Saturday morning I'll be okay. How is your personal schedule?"

"I can probably slip you in."

"What a coincidence. Slipping it in is exactly what I had in mind."

She pulled into the yard at four, dropped her trailer and after we filled out the work order she told me that she was in room 114 at the Holiday Inn Express. I told her I would pick her up at six-thirty.

"Pick me up? I thought we would stay in."

"Nope. Dinner and then some drinks and dancing at the Wagon Wheel. After that, who knows? Maybe some slipping and sliding."

"I can do slipping and sliding."

Over dinner I found out that she and her sister Betsy ran a business moving horses and had contracts with several of the large breeding farms in Texas, Oklahoma, Colorado and New Mexico. Kept her on the road a lot. She asked about me and I told her:

"Not much to tell. I stay busy working and spend my free time hunting, fishing and going for long walks in the mountains."

"No women in your life?"

"Not any more. Present company excluded of course."

"Tell me about the "not any more."

"An ex-wife who never got the part about "forsaking all others" in the wedding ceremony and an ex-fiancé who failed the boyfriend test."

"The boyfriend test?"

I explained it to her and she said that she could understand it.

There were a dozen people there I knew when we walked into the Wagon Wheel. Becky and I took an empty booth, ordered drinks and then I pulled her out onto the floor for a two-step. She was pretty good and we stayed out there for a shadish and another two-step. We were on our second beer when she asked me if they ever did line dances.

"All it takes is for someone to get up and start one."

She grabbed my hand and said, "Let's go."

We got off to one side and she said, "What they are playing is good for a 'Tush-Push'. Okay with you?"

"Lead on fair lady."

We started and then Jill and her boyfriend Ron joined us and then a half dozen others. We stayed there and did an Electric Slide and another Tush-Push and then went back to our booth. Becky took a pull on her beer and said:

"I've had a long day lover and I think we need to get to the important stuff before I get too tired."

We were walking out the door when Cara pulled up and parked and I could feel her eyes on me all the way to my truck.

Cowgirl was Becky's favorite, but I did get to spend some time in doggie which was mine. It was a long night and I never made it home. I had to go to work from room 114.

I had Becky's trailer done by three and I called her to let her know. She picked it up at four and we made arrangements for me to pick her up at six-thirty. I drove her to my place and fixed us dinner and then we sipped wine and played in front of the fireplace until we went to bed and played some more until we fell asleep in each others arms.

At six we got up, had a morning romp, took a shower together and then I drove to the Holiday so she could check out. She gave me a kiss and told me that she would be back in two weeks and if I wanted she would give me a call. I smiled and told her she wouldn't need a hotel room the next time she came up.

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I spent the weekend doing chores around the house and maintenance on the truck. The week was pretty uneventful and I stayed pretty much close to home. Friday around one my cell went off.

"Hello?"

"Is this Frank?"

"Yes it is."

"I'm Betsy, Becky's sister. I'm here dropping off a couple of horses and she told me to give you a call. She said you could show me a good time if I liked country and western dancing."

"I can do that."

"I'm at the Holiday. Room 221."

"Six-thirty work for you?"

"Just fine."

Betsy was taller than her sister and had bigger breasts, but the hair was the same and in the face you could see that they were sisters. I took her to Three Margareta's for dinner and then we hit the Wheel for drinks and dancing. As usual it was full of people that I knew. I spotted Cara and a couple of her girlfriends in a booth toward the back. There was one open table near the front and Betsy and I took it.

Betsy was a very good dancer and she liked dancing so we spent a lot of time out on the floor. I didn't go out of my way to look at Cara's booth, but whenever the dancing had my body in a position where I was looking her way she was watching Betsy and me. Betsy and I were in the middle of a western swing when I saw Cara and her two friends get up and leave. Cara didn't look my way, but her friends did and the looks they gave me were murderous.

Betsy and I left around eleven and as I was pulling out of the parking lot Betsy said:

"Sis told me that you have a very comfortable mattress on your bed. Do I get a chance to try it out?"

I was going to say no? She was just as much of a sexual dynamo as her sister was and she pretty much reduced me to a quivering lump of Jell-O before we fell asleep.

I dropped her at the Holiday and she gave me a big kiss and asked if she could call me the next time she was in the area. No fool me I told her I would be very disappointed if she didn't.

++++++++++++++++

For most of the rest of the weekend I wondered what was going on with my life. I do not suffer from delusions about myself. I am not God's gift to women. I'm pretty ordinary looking; nothing special at all and even though I usually could always get a date women don't chase after me and truth be told I've always had to work pretty hard at getting a long term relationship going with the opposite sex. It took me six months of busting my ass to get my first date with Holly and another six of off and on dating before we settled into a period of going steady. It took her four months to get around to saying yes after I proposed. The marriage didn't last as long as the time spent leading up to it. It took me a year of dating before I was comfortable enough to ask Cara to marry me and she said she would have to think about it and she did for three weeks before she said yes.

And now in the space of three weeks I have two super sexy ladies practically fall into my bed? I had to admit to myself that it just did not compute. But I couldn't argue with the facts – it happened!

I debated going out Saturday night, but decided to stay in. I was throwing a load in the washing machine when the phone rang. It was Jill and she asked me if I was going to be home for a while. I told her I was staying in for the evening and she asked me if she could come over. I didn't see any reason to say no so I told her to come on over.

Half an hour later the doorbell rang and I open the door to find Jill standing there alone. For some reason I had expected her to have her boyfriend Ron with her. I stepped aside and let her in and offered her a drink and she said she'd take a beer if I had it. I got her a PBR and then asked:

"What's up?"

"Have you talked to Cara lately?"

"No. Why do you ask?"

"She's pretty much a basket case since you broke your engagement and I'm worried about her. Did you know that she left the Wagon Wheel in tears after seeing you with that girl you had with you?"

"No I didn't, but so what? She has no claim on me any more."

"Maybe not as far as you are concerned, but she wants to have claim to you. You were not supposed to be there with that girl last night."

"You need to explain that."

"In the fifteen years I've known you Frank you have never been seen with a girl who wasn't local; a girl outside of our social circle so to speak. No one expected you to suddenly start showing up with girls who were not from around here."

"Well excuse me all to hell Jill. I probably never would have except all the local girls have pretty much told me to crawl off into a hole and die. They didn't want to have anything to do with the cruel heartless asshole that treated poor Cara so badly."

"They all got together and did that Frank so you would be more or less forced to get back with Cara if you wanted feminine companionship and Cara does not know about that by the way."

"Why would I want to get back together with her? Christ Jill, you are the one who told me that she failed the boyfriend test."

That didn't mean that you should kick her to the curb Frank. What she did wasn't quite right and she should have been taken to task for it, but it wasn't bad enough for you to call her a cheat and walk away from her. How it happened I have no idea, but she did finally realize it was wrong and she hit Bill a good one across the chops when he tried to take advantage of the situation. He tried to grab her and she hit him again. Those aren't the actions of a woman fixing to cheat on her man. She is hurting right now Frank. She loves you and she can't understand how you can behave toward her the way you are over nothing more than a slightly inappropriate dance. You need to talk with her Frank. Did you know she is still wearing your ring? She refuses to take it off because as far as she is concerned she is still yours. Think about it Frank. You two had something special going. Don't let it get away."

She stood up, kissed me on the cheek and left.

After Jill left I thought about what she'd said. I had also believed that Cara and I had something special - right up to the time I saw her dancing with Anderson. What was it that Nancy Abbott had said? "It was only a dance for Christ's sake. Get a grip Frank." And then Jill herself had told me that she didn't think Cara's dance with Anderson would pass the boyfriend test and the rest of the women that knew Cara and me were treating me like a pariah because of my breaking up with her. Why could not any of them understand? I decided that I would help them understand. It would piss off a lot of people, but what did I care. I was tired of being dumped on. It was time to throw some shit back at them. I decided that come the next Wednesday I would let it all out.

++++++++++++++++++++

I spent the weekend hiking in the mountains and trying not to think about what I was going to do. Monday and Tuesday were normal days at work, but at four in the afternoon on Tuesday my cell rang and when I answered it I got a "Hello stud" from Becky. She was going to be in the area on Wednesday and she could maybe see her way clear to overnight if I could think of something to do to keep her occupied.

"I can probably think of something, but I have something that I have to do around eight. It will take me about an hour. You can come along with me if you want, but it might make you a little uncomfortable."

"I'll chance it."

"Okay, but don't waste your money on the Holiday."

Becky and I walked into the Wagon Wheel around seven-thirty. The place was packed and I knew most of the people there. I saw Cara sitting in a booth with a couple of her girlfriends, Jill was there with Ron and I saw Bill Anderson sitting at a table with Debbie. I got some disapproving looks as Becky and I walked to one of the empty tables. Becky commented on the fact that there wasn't a band on the band stand and no music was playing on the juke box. I told her that it was the third Wednesday of the month and then I had to explain the Wagon Wheel to her.

The Wheel, while normally a country/western bar, catered to a large clientele and tried to be all things to all people. Every other Monday night was a golden oldies rock and roll night. Every other Tuesday was waltz, foxtrot, tango and mambo night. The second Wednesday of the month was salsa night and the third Wednesday of the month was open mike night. On open mike night you could do comedy, karaoke or just stand up there and read poetry if you felt like it.

Joyce Barnhouse went first and did a karaoke number. Then Mike Bellah got up with his guitar and did an old Marty Robbins number. When Benny asked who wanted to be next I stood up and headed for the microphone. This caused a bit of a stir because I had never done it before. I took the microphone from Benny and looked out at the crowd and said:

"I've never gotten up here before, but I had a customer in the shop the other day who just got back from Arizona and I just have to share the story that he told me while he was waiting on me to fix the seven pin plug on his truck. He'd driven there to look at a couple of horses he was thinking of buying. They were out on one of the Indian reservations and while he was checking out the horses the man he was dealing with got a sudden phone call. Seems that his sister who was pregnant had just had her water break and her husband was nowhere to be found so she called him. The man had to rush off and my customer made arrangements to get together with the seller the next day.

"When the two got together the next morning my customer asked the seller how his sister was doing and the man said that mother and baby were doing fine. But then he said:

"It was the damnedest thing. There were four babies born to three different squaws at the same time. One of the squaws slept on a deer hide and one of them slept on an elk hide. My sister slept on a hippopotamus hide. God only knows where my brother came up with it. Anyway, the first two squaws each had a baby boy. My sister who had slept on the hippopotamus skin had twin boys. It just goes to prove that the math books were right. The squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides."

There was silence for the second or so it took for the play on words to register and then I got a big laugh and when it died down I said:

"Did you hear about what went on over at the Brighton Police Department? A thief broke in and stole all the toilets and urinals and leaving no clues as to who he was. A police department spokesman was quoted as saying: "We have nothing to go on."

That one got a fairly big laugh and when the laughter died down I said:

"I'm really up here under false pretenses, but I had to do something to justify getting this microphone in my hands. Lately I have been getting a ration of shit from most of my so-called friends about the treatment I have given my ex-fiancé. Every one is saying that my behavior and attitude are totally unjustified, but are they? Let us look at it from my point of view.

"Most of you here tonight have known me for more years than I care to remember. Almost all of you are aware of my marriage to Holly and why that marriage ended. It ended because she was a cheating slut who stabbed me in the back by having affairs with at least three other men, one of whom is here tonight sitting in the back."

All eyes turned to the back of the bar and settled on Howie Meyers and he abruptly stood up and hurried out of the building.

"So let me ask you this. If you had been cheated on and had gone through the absolute hell that followed finding out just how badly you had been fucked over, how would you view seeing your fiancé dry fucking an old boyfriend on a dance floor in front of a room full of your friends? Think about that the next time you want to tell me that I over-reacted."

I set the microphone down on the floor, walked to my table and said to Becky:

"Time to get out of here."

As we left I looked over to where Cara was sitting and saw that she was crying. Her friends were too busy trying to comfort her to give me nasty looks. Once we were in my truck Becky took hold of my hand and said:

"Had that stored up in you for a while?"

"You could say that?"

"You feel better now?"

"Much. I may not have changed any minds, but at least now everyone knows where my head is."

"Was she there tonight?"

"Yes she was and so was the asshole I caught her dry fucking. She was with some girlfriends and he was with the girl he has been dating for a couple of months. I don't know if she knows what happened that night or not, but she knows he used to date my ex-fiancé and she knows he was at the party with my ex. Hopefully she will be asking him some pointed questions before the night is over."

"So just what is the whole story behind what happened tonight?"

I told her about Holly and then what I'd seen Cara do at Jill's party. She shook her head and said:

"Poor baby; no wonder you were pissed. I can see that I'm going to have to work really hard at cheering you up tonight. See if I can make you forget that bitch."

She did a damned good job of making ne forget. I got two out of the world blow jobs, enjoyed some great sixty-nine and did a lot of pussy pounding before we fell asleep wrapped up in each other.

Then in the morning she ruined it for me.

We were having breakfast at Patty Ann's Café when Becky said:

"I may turn out to be sorry that I told my sister to give you a call."

"Why would you be sorry about that?"

"She was quite taken with you. Told me that she would even consider leaving her husband for you. If she did that I'm not sure that I could mess around with my sister's man."

"In that case maybe you should stake your claim before she gets a chance. I do have an opening for a fiancé."

"I don't think that my husband would be too keen on that."

"You and your sister are both married? I didn't see any rings."

"Don't like jewelry on my hands when I'm working with halters, reins, lead ropes and the like."

"I do wish you hadn't told me that."

"Why?"

"You remember my speech last night? The part about being cheated on and the hell that followed? I promised myself that I would never do to another man what was done to me and you have just told me that I've done it. I've stabbed two men I don't know in the back by having sex with their wives."

"No biggie lover. Betsy's hubby knows she plays around and he is okay with it."

"What about yours?"

"Phil gets so much from me that he will never miss what I give others."

"That is the same attitude that my ex-wife had and I kicked her out of my life because of it."

"What are you saying Frank?"

"That you and I won't be playing anymore and you can tell Betsy that if she wants to play the next time she is up this way she will have to have her husband call me and tell me that he is okay with it."

"You can't be serious."

"Oh but I am Becky. I will not knowingly do to another man what Holly and her lovers did to me. The key word there is knowingly. I have enjoyed every second of the time I've spent with you and I would have continued to love spending time with you for as long as you would have let me, but that was before telling me you are married. That changes everything. It was a case of what I didn't know not hurting me, but now I know and that makes all the difference in the world.

"I'll be more than happy to take you to dinner and then dancing at the Wheel whenever you are up this way, but that will be the extent of it. We can still be friends if you want, but that is all we can ever be anymore."

After breakfast I dropped her off at her rig, she kissed me goodbye and as she pulled out and pointed her truck toward Oklahoma I was asking myself if trying to be honest, ethical and aboveboard was really worth it.

++++++++++++++++++++++

The rest of the week was uneventful although on Friday I did get a call from Nancy Abbott. She apologized for the way she had behaved toward me.