The Breeding Center Ch. 10

I followed the woman to another small office. I was directed to the couch and she walked around her desk and sat. She scanned my I.D. bracelet and reviewed her computer. She typed a few things before introducing herself. "Hello Lexi, my name is Miss Laura. I am a therapist here at The Breeding Center. I brought you here to discuss some of the events which happened since you arrived, and more importantly, find out how you're feeling. If there is anything concerning you, I'll be happy to brainstorm options with you to better manage those emotions... Sound good?"

I relaxed. Finding relief for the first time. "Thank you. Yes."

"Good. Let's start with the big elephant in the room and tell me why you tried to run away from your responsibilities at The Breeding Center."

I cleared my throat and straightened my spine. "It was simply a mistake." I explained. "There is a girl, Andi from House Meridian, where I grew up. She abused me. When I arrived, I was horrified to discover she was my bunkmate. Her torment continued right where she left off. She coerced other girls to assist her in the cruel things she did, and she even violated one of my new friends! I wasn't trying to escape The Breeding Center. I am a loyal citizen and understand my role in society. I needed someone to help protect us from this bully."

Miss Laura made notes on her computer as I spoke. When I stopped she asked. "Did you explain your concern to the nurse in your wing?"

"At Meridian, I had reported some incidents, but no real change or punishment ever came of it. Andi came down harder on me. Here, I didn't want to turn her in right away because I don't know the nurses. I don't know if I can trust them to support me or not. ...but when Andi violated my friend, I couldn't stand by anymore. It wasn't about her controlling only ME... she is cruel to EVERYONE and I didn't want anyone else to suffer the way I did." I sniffed, struggling to contain my emotion.

"So you did or didn't tell the nurse?"

"I didn't. When I finally made the decision, there were no nurses anywhere, but I was desperate for help. I found a way in the elevator and thought if I got it to the first floor, maybe I could talk to Miss Ethyl."

"So you attacked the kitchen staff as they delivered lunch?" Miss Laura asked.

"What?! No!" The staff, they have a bad habit of not closing the door properly when they arrive. I merely snuck past them into the elevator when they were not watching. I never touched anyone!" I was shocked that such an accusation would be forged, but I figured those women were trying to cover their asses for leaving the door open.

"And when you made it to the first floor, did you go straight to Miss Ethyl?"

I sighed. "...No. The elevator took me to the kitchen. I didn't know how to get to the rest of the building. I got lost. I was scared and was chased. I ran because I was frightened. I wasn't trying to run away from my responsibilities! You've got to believe me!"

"Lexi, tell me of your responsibilities. I want to make sure you understand what your duties are, and understand how you feel about them."

"I know I must stay until I give birth to two baby girls."

"Two or more live female offspring." Miss Laura corrected.

"...yes. ...anyway, I don't know... I feel... like it is the way it is. I feel confused. None of us are exempt. I've met many people who speak of their time at The Breeding Center as the best years of their lives..." I sat pensively.

"...but?" Miss Laura prodded.

"...but what if I wanted to keep my babies? What if all of us did? What if men and women had the opportunity to choose one another and love one another, and they made and raised their own babies, and what if they got to decide when and even IF they had any babies? What if there were no more of these baby factories and we had the freedom to do what we wanted with our bodies...?!"

"Well, It sounds like you've actually thought a LOT about this!" Miss Laura made a little laugh, which she quickly stifled. "Then Lexi, I suppose our world would return to the ancient days of disease and death. Is that what you want?"

"Of course not. I simply think everything about this system is so... so... clinical! No one feels anything about giving away all the babies, no one feels anything about anything! What if..." I paused again.

"...go on."

I shifted in my seat, both exhilarated and terrified to finally express my real feelings. "I know there is a requirement for each of us... but what if we all honored our assignment AND kept and raised the children ourselves?"

Miss Laura broke into unrestrained laughter. "Lexi, how do you imagine someone would be able to manage their time at college or work if they had all these children to raise?"

"I don't know. I suppose they would partner with a friend?"

"And when your girls turn nineteen and they tell you they don't want to receive The Seed, I suppose you're going to force it on them?"

"Well... no."

"Don't you see? Our system is perfectly set up to take such burdens off your shoulders."

"But I want to choose for MYSELF!!" I said raising my voice.

A minute of silence passed.

"...I don't feel the children are burdens. They are a part of us and should be permitted to connect with us. ...we all want connection, you know?"

"Lexi, after women are discharged of their service, they do go on to lead incredibly satisfying lives. They enjoy friendships and lovers, they go to college and get jobs, they become beneficial to our society in extremely fulfilling ways."

"I know but... what about those babies I'll never hold or even see? I can't leave here, fall in love and have the ability with my partner to bear a baby of our own!"

"Well no, that would be silly." she said dismissively. "Where do you believe this fixation with parenting stems from?"

I considered her question. "Well... at Meridian, we had a dairy farm. I saw cows give birth and I saw how the calves were taken away from their mothers."

"Thank goodness for that or your Meridian wouldn't have fresh milk as well as the income which the dairy farm provided." Miss Laura glanced at me over her glasses. "There is something else."

"There was one summer..." I wasn't sure if I wanted to share the story, but I found the words flowing freely. "Miss Louise and Miss Laverne both passed away."

"Oh, the dears..."

"Yes... well, the thing is... they both lived and worked in the infant building, and none of the other elders wanted the position. ...they said they preferred to sleep through the night. Anyway, it took a week until The Nation could reassign someone to Meridian. A bunch of us volunteered to help since we were out of school for the summer."

"My! What an awful thing for you to endure! I believe I understand you better now Lexi."

"But it wasn't awful! It was glorious! I held the babies, and sang to them, and cared for them, and loved them. ...but when Miss Carol arrived, she said we were never to step foot in the building again. She said it would have been better for the offspring to perish than to have us expose ourselves... why would she say that?! Isn't the growth of the population the most important thing?"

"Yes, but it is also quite complex. You see... when young minds are exposed to such things, seeds of rebellion are planted. You, being a prime example. As a result of what your endured, you now suffer from personality and anger issues. Your interpersonal skills have been warped and you have difficulty maintaining healthy relationships. Your psychological health has become so deranged, I wouldn't be surprised if you've been secretly plotting a rebellion against our great country."

"No! I would never!"

"Simply put, this is how one instance could escalate into the downfall of our entire structure? Miss Carol sounds wise beyond her years. Thank goodness you are here so I can reform you." Miss Laura nodded and added to her notes. "Tell me... how did you respond? What changes did you undergo after such an experience?"

"Well, I wanted one, of course. I thought..."

"Tell me, Lexi."

"I thought if I brought myself to orgasm, I would become pregnant." I cringed and shook my head. "I know that's not how it works, but I was young and ignorant. ...but I dedicated myself to ...that... as much as possible."

"Shameful! You were treading on serious ground. You could have brought yourself into addiction!"

"I know, but I didn't. ...and it didn't work, besides. ...but I still think a lot about it... the babies, I mean... I believe it is something I want. Something I need."

"Of course it is, Lexi! Of course!"

I was confused and waited.

"We all have the drive to reproduce. It is our natural instinct. In this, you are very healthy! What is not healthy is what those women did to you, putting you in such a position. Do you know you have every right to file a complaint against them? ...and masturbation ...Lexi, I hope you know is a dreadful, wicked act. Orgasms were created to induce procreation. Any other use of them is offensive and dirty!" She paused and gauged me. "You don't do it now, do you Lexi Meridian? You can tell me the truth... if you're tempted... or struggling... I can help."

"No. I don't do that." I faked a disgusted face.

"...you sure?" she asked again. "You know there are a number of ways we can take care of it, you know...? None of them permanent of course, until after your requirements have been met."

I laughed lightly and shrugged my shoulders. "I'm not even sure I remember how... It's of no interest to me anyway." I lied. I attempted to change the subject. "Miss Laura, how many ...offspring did you contribute?"

She sat up proudly. "Five. A girl first, then three boys and the second girl came last."

"Did you name them?"

"Of course not! Their House Mothers would've done that."

"Do your arms ever ache to hold your children? Do you ever wonder where they ended up and if they are ok? Aren't you curious if they have your green eyes or your freckles? What if the Miss Carol's of the world let them perish for no good reason? Would you still be okay with our system?

She shot a seething glare at me and I instantly regretted pushing the matter. "Lexi Meridian... let's get one thing straight... I am glad you were able to get all this off your chest... but this radical thinking crap will get you into nothing but trouble! Extreme trouble!! I suggest you don't speak this way again, to me or anyone! Understand?"

Miss Laura entered more notes in her computer. She sighed heavily, took her glasses off and scrutinized me with all seriousness. "Lexi, I acquired a lot of education in psychology and I have rehabilitated dozens of young women who are much more confused than you. What I see before me an unbalanced young woman who is grief-stricken because her lover moved on. You are coping with this hardship by attacking our country's core values through your words and your actions. Lexi, it is perfectly natural to have feelings of loss at a time like this, but we must teach you to reframe your rejection into a positive, or at least neutral concept."

"What?! No! I..."

"...Lexi, I imagine it was simply dumb luck you ended up as bunkmates... but lovers quarrels are the exact reason we do not condone relationships. I know you're going to be upset Lexi, but you're going to have to be separated, if you're not already. Once you are both discharged, you can be free to carry on your relationship on your own terms, but NOT while you are here, understand?"

"Yes, ma'am." I said.

"Now... let's brainstorm some healthy outlets for your anger..."

*****