The Bridesmaids' Revenge

I unclamped my legs, lifted myself up by my arms so that my skirt fell away from his head and then he gently lifted me down. He said "I assume that it's pointless looking for your kit now?" I felt about two foot tall.

He went on "Frances, I know that you and the others are trying to help me. I really appreciate that you care about me so much that you'll try almost anything but I think you all ought to stop. It's between me and Lisa or rather mainly between me and my libido. You're a fantastic group of friends that anyone would be proud of. If I were different I'd be flattered that so many attractive girls want to seduce me in such a short time. But I am what I am and I don't, and to my misfortune can't, love any of you like that. I wish I could because then Lisa and I wouldn't have split up. Thank you for trying to help."

He kissed me on the forehead and then I broke down and sobbed on his shoulder.

That was it. Failure number three."

Lisa's face glistened as she wiped away her tears. "Thank you Frances. And thanks to all three of you for being such good friends. I know I asked all of you to try flirting with Harold to try to loosen him up but I never expected that each of you would try so hard. Harold is right. You ARE fantastic! Who'd believe that three girls would do so much just for a friend?"

Alison expostulated "Not just for A friend! We did it for TWO friends - for you and for Harold!"

Sandra added "Harold made all of us look like silly little girls with a crush on Teacher. It's humilating that one man can resist all four of us. For the three of us the reason is obvious - he loves Lisa and no one else will do. For Lisa the problem is getting him to let himself go. We've tried individually. Perhaps we ought to try together sometime."

"Do you think that might work?" asked Lisa

"We haven't tried yet." answered Sandra "Harold's worth another attempt at least."

"Yes," agreed Alison "We can't let him stay as he is. He's hurting himself; hurting Lisa; and now we've all got emotional bruising from our damaged egos!"

"We're not THAT damaged," laughed Frances "We've been rejected - which is unusual for us - but he did it so tactfully that we're still his friends and willing to have another go."

"I know one thing Harold's done for me," said Sandra "He's made me want to find some simple minded macho jock in the team and really discipline him to be my slave. Failing with Harold has made me feel merciless towards any other man stupid enough to treat me as a "helpless little woman". Any suggestions who should get the FULL treatment?"

"I feel the same" agreed Alison "It would be good to conquer a man again. Lisa, we hope that you'll be busy with Harold but the rest of us could really do with some diversion once today's over. We could be The Three Musketeers - 'one for all, and all for one!'"

"Wouldn't The Three Muff-keteers be a better name," suggested Lisa.

All of them burst into giggles.

"Come on," said Lisa "It wasn't that much of a joke."

"No, maybe not," said Alison "But it's the best we've heard from you for a long time. You've been really down for months. Hadn't we better get on with our warpaint? We haven't got much time."

The four girls finished dressing and Frances finalised each hair-do and Sandra did the make-up. They swapped roles on each other. When they were completely ready they stood in a group in the centre of the room.

They were a splendid sight. Their dresses had voluminous skirts held out by the hoops. The tight bodices really emphasised each girl's cleavage and their necks and shoulders had a creamy glow.

Their hair and make-up was understated but as they were all young and fit they didn't need much emphasis to look attractive.

"Wow!" breathed Alison "We're really going to slaughter the guys looking like this. I hope we won't upstage the bride?"

"We won't," said Lisa "We know that Jane has natural advantages and today she will really look her best. When she's like that there's no other girl in Silverbridge to touch her for looks. Anyway all eyes go to the bride first. The bridal veil helps because it adds a touch of mystery but every bride is beautiful on HER day.

We'll take the sashes with us. I've agreed with Jane that we'll but them on just outside the church so they won't crease."

"That has given me an idea," said Sandra "We've given presents to Jane and Thomas but how about a special present for Jane to take with her on honeymoon."

"What are you on about?" asked Frances "It's too late now. We can't carry anything with these dresses - except possibly tucked into our panties and they are so small only cash would fit."

"I meant that we could give Jane her original sash to take with her in case Thomas gets out of hand." said Sandra

"You and those sashes!" exploded Alison "Are you sure you're not obsessed with them?"

"Well, perhaps I am - or at least until I've tried one out." replied Sandra "But honestly I was really just thinking of Jane this time. She knows what I intended to do with mine. If we wrapped hers up small and put a note inside, I'm sure our driver could take it to the reception."

"He could," mused Lisa "It's Bert, my uncle, who's collecting us. I'm sure he would get it there. He'll be at the church and reception anyway as a guest. He could even slip a small parcel in his jacket pocket. It would fold that small if we are careful."

"Let's do it!" shouted Sandra "Got any wrapping paper, Lisa?"

"Yes - over there in the bureau. There is some left over wedding paper. But - how will we get it to Jane without Thomas seeing it?" asked Lisa.

"I'm sure we can do it. You could give it to her at the airport hotel if all else fails" said Sandra as she cut the paper to fit round the sash which Alison had carefully folded into a small rectangle. "What about the note?"

"I'll do that," answered Frances "How about - 'For use in emergencies only as directed by Sandra'. That should give her the hint and Thomas won't know what it means even if he did see it. On the outside, how about 'personal and private gift from the bridesmaids to the bride. For her eyes only.,"

"That should do it," said Lisa "But it would be better if Thomas doesn't see it at all, if we can manage that. We don't want to excite his curiosity. Perhaps I can get it to Jane when I'm helping her change before she leaves the reception. That will be our best chance."

"All done," said Frances "Now we just need to wait for your Uncle Bert."

The doorbell rang. Uncle Bert and the hire car had arrived. They were on the way to the wedding.

INTERLUDE - THE WEDDING

To those involved it was special, an occasion to remember all their lives. But in truth, to an outsider, the wedding was just like any other large full-scale wedding in any country town in England. Indeed it could have been a large wedding anywhere in the English-speaking world. It was spectacular, the music was loud, the choirs sang well, the organist and bandsmen did their best. The bride and groom said their responses to the printed order of service (Church of England 1928 Prayer Book) - so the bride didn't promise to obey. The photocalls were made outside the church. The procession through the town brought the place to a halt while it passed.

The only slight variation was that the bridesmaids followed the bride and her father down the central aisle one by one instead of in pairs. The width of their skirts was too much for two together. The church's aisle was slightly narrower than most but the bridesmaids' skirts were enormous!

Apart from the bride's lack of obedience and the bridesmaids' skirts the wedding has little relevance to progressing Lisa and Harold's story.

THE RECEPTION

We will pass over the conventional proceedings which followed the traditional form as laid out in any good book of wedding etiquette. All went as planned until the end of the bridegroom's speech. Thomas was still seething internally about Jane's insistence on NOT promising to obey him, and his resentment led him to add an unscripted end to his speech -

"When Jane's father brought her into the church I had a moment of panic. As is usual I hadn't seen the dress until Jane arrived with her attendants.

The dresses are magnificient thanks to the Chief Bridesmaid, Lisa, but (he paused) my first impression was that a fleet of sailing ships had come into the church. I thought that they should have been accompanied by a band of Royal Marines."

(Jane and Lisa had paled. What would Thomas say next?)

He continued "But the moment passed and I saw what a beautiful set of girls they are, and how radiant the bride looked. (He turned to the bride's father) Thank you, sir. I promised to love and honour her, and so I shall." Thomas then sat down to a storm of clapping but some dirty looks from the bridesmaids.

It came to Harold's duty to read the messages from absent friends. As usual they ranged from the trite to the virtually obscene with double-entendres and innuendo a-plenty. Harold was having difficulty with the reading as the laughter grew. He realised that some of the laughter was directed at him rather than the rather feeble jokes. Many there were enjoying the sight of the ever-so-correct Harold making a fool of himself.

Lisa and the bridesmaids actually felt sorry for him but he was getting so flustered that he didn't realise their sympathy. It led him to make an uncharacteristic mistake.

Harold had to make a speech as Best Man and include the thanks of the Bridesmaids. Most of his speech was as he had carefully scripted it, but when he came to the bridesmaids thanks to the bridegroom, his irritation at being laughed at snapped.

"Thomas said that he momentarily thought that the bridesmaids were sailing ships and should have been accompanied by a Marine band. Sailing ships can indeed be beautiful and stately. But why did the bridesmaids choose such spectacularly large skirts? ..."

An unseen male voice shouted from the back "To cover up their Thunder Thighs!"

"You may well be right, sir" responded Thomas "But that although probably true wasn't what I was going to say. I think it was so that they could look so much bigger than us men. We all know how fiercely independent Silverbridge women have been down the years and these bridesmaids are some of the most independent minded I have ever met. I doubt that any man among us has a chance against them in a fair contest. They'd probably make their own rules.

Ladies and Gentlemen! I call for your toast to the Bridesmaids!"

The toast was drunk but "To the Bridesmaids" was mixed with calls of "To Thunder Thighs" from many parts of the hall.

Lisa looked as if she was going to explode. Jane whispered in her ear "Please leave it to later, Lisa". "I'll give him Thunder Thighs!" hissed Lisa in reply "but not now. Just let him wait till I see him again."

The decorum resumed with the bride's father's speech and then the reception turned into a dance, which was planned to go on for several hours.

The bridesmaids enjoyed themselves, even though having to ignore a few passing references to Thunder Thighs. They danced with most of the men present, young and old, and each danced at least once with Harold. He apologised profusely to each of them in turn, explaining that he hadn't intended to be derogatory but he'd been rattled by the response to the absent friends' messages. Lisa had been the only one not to accept his apology at face value. As Chief Bridesmaid Lisa had to dance with the Best Man but she'd treated him coldly.

All four girls were to meet by arrangement in the ladies room. Alison, Frances and Sandra arrived together.

Sandra said "Lisa's really mad with Harold. He's given us the excuse we need. Lisa wants revenge and we can hand it to her on a plate."

Alison added "We know why Harold slipped up but it doesn't matter. Lisa won't resent us doing anything tonight because she's so mad. She'll be brooding on it all the way to the airport and back."

Frances said "All we've got to do is keep her boiling and arrange for Harold to come to her flat tonight. How do we do that?"

"That's easy" replied Sandra "We just leave something here that's essential such as our overnight cases or handbags ..."

"I don't fancy leaving a handbag and it can't be the overnight cases" interrupted Alison "They are at the flat already."

"Harold doesn't know that" said Sandra "There's a locked case in a locker in the women's changing room with spare kit in it. It's a nearly new case but the handle is broken. That could have happened any time today."

"That's ideal. He'll have to carry it in his arms so he'll be hampered when we jump him. Can we get it somewhere rather more obvious? How about the cloakroom by the entrance? " said Alison "But how do we get it there? We're scarcely dressed to go digging into lockers."

"One of the girls on the staff could do it for us. One of my cousins is working today. I'll ask her shortly." said Frances "Lisa should be here in a minute. Have we got our story straight? - we're mad at Harold too and we, all the bridesmaids, want revenge."

"OK," chorused the other two, just in time as Lisa stormed in.

Lisa was still fuming. "I'd like to wring Harold's neck. Thunder Thighs indeed!"

Frances said "You don't really mean that, Lisa. You want revenge and to humilate him, not kill him. So do all of us. Harold insulted all four of us. We think we can get our revenge at your flat tonight. Are you game to join in?"

"Of course!" snorted Lisa "I'll make that prissy-mouthed stuck-up little **** grovel for forgiveness. I'll give him Thunder Thighs. I'll wrap them round his body, break his ribs and arms and then squeeze his head till his eyes pop out."

"Hold it, Lisa" exclaimed Alison "You don't want him injured beyond usefulness. You just want him as a willing slave, don't you?"

Lisa sighed "I suppose so - but all the men's snide remarks have made me hopping mad. I know I've got thunder thighs, so have we all, it comes of playing football as hard as we do. BUT I don't want to be reminded of them in front of all the great and good of this town, not to mention all the men's teams and most of the Fatstock Sows. It's the public humilation I resent most. I'll get Harold for that if it's the last thing I do."

"Right" said Sandra "When you come back from Heathrow airport we'll have him ready and waiting for you. Then it's up to you. You can humilate him in private in your bedroom, or openly in front of us, or a bit of both."

"Back to now" reminded Frances "Have you given our present to Jane? I think she needs it after Thomas' speech."

"Yes, she's got it," replied Lisa "That's why I was a little late. She's put it loose in her case wrapped in a nightdress. If Thomas spots it, it's a packing error. She knows what the sash is for and she's got her own ideas for using it. She may surprise him tonight or wait until they get to the Bahamas. The trouble is that it's only a surprise the first time. After that she'll have to hide it before using it. Unlike a silk scarf, you can't leave it casually lying around without your man getting suspicious, particularly if you've used it on him recently."

"We'd better get back," said Alison "or we'll get more rude comments."

They left to rejoin the reception. The plan would be implemented later today.

Lisa returned to the wedding reception and saw that Thomas and Jane were preparing to leave to change clothes before the formal "going-away". She went with Jane to help her out of the wedding dress.

"Well Jane? How does it feel to be a married woman?" Lisa asked.

"I'm too excited now to realise that I'm married and anyway the wedding isn't final until it's consummated - tonight! I wonder whether it will feel any different making love as a married woman?"

Lisa exclaimed "It shouldn't except that you don't have the risk of being found out - unless of course you make love to someone else's husband!"

"LISA!" screeched Jane "What a suggestion to make to a new bride!"

"It's just as well I'm not your Matron of Honour then, isn't it. Neither of us have been shrinking violets, have we?"

Finally Jane was ready. Lisa had taken off her hooped petticoat. "I'll see you at the car" she said.

Then they left the room. Jane for her part in "The Honeymoon" and Lisa eventually to return for the last act of "The Bridesmaids' Revenge".

The bride and groom had left. The reception party was breaking up. Harold and the other bridesmaids climbed into the football club's minibus. Harold drove the girls to Lisa's premises and they got out. Frances turned to Harold.

"I'm sorry, Harold. I've just realised I left my case at the clubhouse. You're going back there. Could you get it for me? It's behind the reception desk. You can't mistake it. It has a broken handle."

"OK" said Harold "I'll just park the minibus and come back in my car. I shouldn't be longer than about twenty minutes."

"Thank you, Harold. You're a real friend."

As Harold left Frances said to the others "That's Harold's trouble. He IS a friend. He'd do almost anything for any of us. But what he needs is a mistress."

The girls prepared for Harold's return. Frances and Sandra changed into long flowing nightdresses but Alison kept her bridesmaid's dress. The living room was strewn with dresses and petticoats and the three girls' original soft sashes were carefully placed. Frances raided Lisa's laundry basket and came back with panties, bras, slips and pantyhose which she left in a heap. As the time for Harold's return approached, Alison positioned herself carefully on a chaise longue with her skirts spread out either side.

The doorbell rang. Frances went down to answer it and came back following Harold who was carrying the suitcase in his arms. "Put it at Alison's feet, please Harold" asked Frances as she moved behind him. Harold lowered the case gently to the foot of the chaise longue and as he let it go Frances pushed him hard in the back. He pitched forward right between Alison's legs which scissored round him clamping his arms to his sides, and entangling him in her skirts. She then sat up suddenly and leant her body on top of him. Frances lassoed his feet with a sash. Sandra sat on his legs tying his hands with another sash. As he struggled feebly under the weight of Sandra and Alison, Frances removed his shoes and socks.

Harold was suffocating in Alison's jackknifed body and scarcely felt his trousers being dragged down. Frances tied his knees, untied his ankles, removed the trousers and relashed the ankles.

Alison released her pressure on his back but gagged him with a fold of her skirt. Frances gagged and blindfolded him completely with Lisa's sash. Alison relaxed her leg scissors and the girls began to remove his upper clothing binding him with scarves around his elbows while they removed his jacket and shirt. Finally they were done. Harold was naked apart from his pants but completely helpless! The first part of the Bridesmaids' Revenge had been completed successfully. Now Harold had to be told what was in store for him ...

Alison lay back on the chaise longue and the others positioned Harold with his head against her cleavage. Alison wrapped her skirted legs round him and loosened the sash. She uncovered his eyes but kept the gag in place. Sandra and Frances sat either side of his legs.

Sandra spoke first. "Harold! We and Lisa are very displeased with you. You made derogatory remarks about us at the reception and we decided to have our revenge. We aren't going to let you go until you've apologised and we're convinced that you mean it."

"Lisa was the most annoyed of all of us," added Frances "She told us to keep you until she returns. So - you've got a couple of hours to convince us that you are properly contrite then the rest of the night to convince Lisa."