The Bush Publican

"I thought that we'd follow the creek up into the gorge around ten kilometres away. There are some interesting rock formations and trees around there. If you're lucky, we might even spot a Yellow Footed Rock Wallaby. They were once thought to be extinct, it seems that they were good tucker in hard times for the early settlers, but they're making a comeback since we weren't allowed to shoot them."

"You're the guide."

It was slow going, there were places where the sand was soft and I was down to low range with the centre diff lock on just to get through. Most of the time it was okay, I just had to watch out for sudden washaways, if you hit one of those at speed you'd know it.

"Stop the car."

"What is it?" I asked as she was reaching for the door handle.

"A snake, over there, I have to get closer to it."

"I don't think that's a good idea. The best thing for those is to keep well clear of them. That is one of the most venomous snakes in the world, and while you keep away from it you're okay, but get too close or disturb it and it'll have a go at you. It's an Eastern Plains Taipan. Stay in here and use your long lens."

Dianne took a few shots and then played them back on the screen at the back of the camera. She showed them to me, and I had to admit that they were good.

We drove further up the creek bed and it started to get rockier and the pools began to get deeper. "See those rocks on that cliff up there?" I pointed to the layered rock.

"Yes."

"Would you believe that that used to be on the bottom of the ocean?"

"I've heard something about them finding marine fossils in the rocks up here, but how did they get up here?"

"This area used to be under the sea until there was a massive earthquake and the Flinders and Mount Lofty Ranges were the result. The uplift has caused the ocean floor to tilt up forming these cliffs with the tilted strata. But that was eleventy-seven squillion years ago."

"How come you know so much about this?"

"When you run a pub in this part of the world you find that you have to know a hell of a lot. It's either that or bullshit the customers. Some of them would believe anything, but I wouldn't do that to them."

She took several shots of the cliffs. The lighting was as near to perfect as I'd seen, with the orange glow of the setting sun changing the colour of the rocks. "Is there a better time of the day to take shots of this than now?"

"Nope. See what a good guide I make, I'm worth double what you were thinking of paying me."

"Don't push your luck, I'm sure Bert would do as good a job."

"Tell me, what would you do when he has a heart attack and carks it?"

"Call for help."

"Have you tried your mobile up here?"

Dianne took her phone out and looked at it. "No signal, so much for a smart phone."

"So it looks like you're stuck with me."

"What can I say, I guess that I am stuck with you. When are you going to start to earn you keep?"

"Right about now." I had chosen this point for a very good reason, the light from the setting sun changed the colour of the rocks from a sandy brown to a deep red.

"Wow!" Dianne was staring open mouthed at the scene.

"It's the little button on the top."

"What?" Then it sank in, the reason that she was here. She must have used half a memory card in less than a minute before the light changed again. "If this doesn't bring the tourists in I don't know what will."

"You are forgetting one minor problem."

"And that is?"

"To bring tourists up here you will have to get permission from the traditional owners, and they have made it quite clear that this land is sacred to them, and the prospect of hundreds of people stomping all over the place won't sit well."

"Oh, I'd forgotten all about that." She packed her camera back into the camera bag and put it back into the Land Rover. "Do you know what you are?"

"The greatest bloke you've ever met?"

"No, you're the bastard that offers a kid a sweet and then snatches it back before he can take it."

"I thought that I was the bloke that brought you up here for a private viewing of the most amazing sight that you'll ever see. I guess that I was wrong." I turned my face away from her. To her I was unhappy at her reaction, to me, it was so she couldn't see the smile on my face.

I felt a light tap on my shoulder, I turned to face a Dianne with a worried look on her face. "Dave, look I'm sorry that I didn't see it from your point of view. You're right, it is the most amazing sight, and I feel honoured that you chose to bring me up here." She stood on her toes and kissed me. "Better?"

"Almost, one more should do it."

She kissed me again, this time half a second longer. "There, is that better?"

"Yeah, and now we'd better get out of here before we lose the light, it's hard enough driving down here in daylight, near impossible in the dark."

We arrived back in town just as the sun disappeared in a blaze of glory over the western horizon. Darkness washes over this land quickly once the sun goes down. We walked in through the kitchen.

"So you're back." Said Bert between mouthfuls of prime beef. "We were just thinking about raising a search party."

"Of how many? You're both here"

"The thought was there. Where have you been?"

"Dave has been showing me the sights. It was spectacular?"

"The scenery or Dave?"

"Both. No you idiot, the scenery, I couldn't say that he was spectacular with a straight face."

"Gee Dave, she's been here for less than a day and already she's got you worked out."

"Bert, will you open your mouth and take your foot out and make room for some more of that lovely beef." I turned to Dianne, "Would you like to try our prime, paddock fed beef?"

"I do believe that I would. It must be the air or something, but I'm starving."

Deb came in from the bar. "Hi Dave, you're back I see. Do you want me to shut up, it's deader than a politician's promise out there. The only thing the lights are attracting are the moths."

"Yeah shut up. Have you eaten? I was just about to cook up a steak for Dianne and me, would you care to join us?"

"Sure thing, but this time don't overcook my steak."

"What do you mean overcook? The last steak I cooked for you mooed when you stuck your fork into it."

"Yeah but it wasn't breathing." She laughed as she got a tray of meat from the cool-room.

I had the grill nicely hot and the meat sizzled as I chucked it on. Meanwhile Dianne had got the salad ingredients and was preparing a large bowl of tossed salad.

"Have you got another steak for me? It wouldn't seem right for me to be sitting here while you three pig out, would it?"

Deb didn't wait for my reply, she tossed another steak onto the grill. "Happy now?"

"Not as happy as I'll be later." He gave her a pat on the arse as she walked past him with the tray.

"Dream on mate."

Dianne watched the easy interaction between us. She opened her camera bag and took her Nikon out. Turning it on, she began to scroll through the shots that she had taken up the gorge. "These are really good, if I may say so myself." She handed me the camera and I scrolled through them myself.

"Outstanding, amazing, fabulous, I'll probably think of a few more adjectives later, but I agree with you, they are good." I paused for a second or two. "But you have to give some credit to your guide who took you to the right place at the right time."

"All right, my guide deserves some credit for these."

Deb had picked up the camera and looked at the shots. "Gee Dave, these are almost as good as yours."

Dianne looked from Deb to me. The question remained unasked for about a minute. "Your's? I'd like to see your pictures, show me."

"You haven't been into the dining room yet have you?" Deb asked. "Come on, I'll show you. If he showed you it'd only be him fishing for compliments." They went into the dining room and Dianne stared at the large framed photographs that lined the walls.

"Dave, you come in here this minute." She called to me. I poked my head around the corner. "When were you going to tell me that you were a professional photographer?"

"Never. I am not, and never have been a pro. These were just some lucky shots that I took some time ago, even before I moved up here to run the pub. I thought that they were pretty good and had them blown up by a mate who was a professional photographer. He thought they were pretty good as well. It helped that they were taken with a medium format film camera, you don't get the pixilation problems when you enlarge them."

Dianne took a close look at them. "I see what you mean. Do you still have the camera?"

"I do, what do you have in mind?"

"If I can get you the film stock, would you take photos with me? It would be interesting to compare those with my camera shots. In the brochures that we're planning to produce, pixilation isn't an issue, but shots like these would look amazing as display pieces in the Tourism offices."

"Getting the film stock is only a part of the problem, a small part. The biggest problem is getting them processed. I could ask my mate, but he was heading down the digital path, and may already have dismantled his lab." I hadn't realised that, as we talked, she had move closer to me, very much closer. I could feel her warmth down the full length of my upper arm, and let me tell you, it felt good.

"I'm sure that we could find someone to develop and print the pictures for you."

"This is not going to turn into a competition, you do realise that don't you? I would probably take a hundred shots just to get half a dozen good ones. And with the delay in processing, I won't know for anything up to a fortnight if the picture turned out. You on the other hand have an instant result, and can delete those that don't work and free up memory. It's not fair."

"But as you said, if you want to blow it up to the size you have here, a film camera probably gets better results."

We went back into the kitchen just as Bert was wiping his plate with a slice of bread. "Looks like we won't need to wash that plate, are you sure that you got it all?"

"At least you won't have to stick it outside for Bluey to lick clean like you normally do."

"You don't, do you?" Dianne was disgusted with the suggestion that I would do something like that. "And who or what is 'Bluey'?"

"He's the hotel dog, he's a Blue Heeler, I inherited him from the previous owner. Would you like to meet him?"

"Yeah, sure."

I went to the back door and let off one of those shrill whistles you get with a couple of fingers stuck in your gob, and next thing we knew Bluey came belting around the corner from behind the ablution block and skidded to a stop, tail wagging and mouth open in anticipation for the treat that he knew was waiting for him. This time it was a lamb shank bone and he would worry it for at least two hours before it was all gone. Dianne bent down to pat him. "Stop! Blue, sit." Bluey sat, looking from me to her. "Hold your hand out with the palm facing down." I told her. Blue, this is Dianne, now you can pat him, he now knows you're a friend." Dianne held her hand out as I'd instructed, a couple of centimetres from Bluey's head. Bluey's tail doubled its wag speed as she patted him, and told him what a good dog he was. I handed her the bone and she gave it to him. He trotted happily off to his bed under the dongas to enjoy it.

"You can come and go any time now, he knows that you're allowed around here."

"What would happen if he didn't know?"

"You don't want to know, it wouldn't be pretty."

"We're off then." Bert said as he and Deb headed for the door. "Oh by the way, Dianne, your parts, there's been a bit of a hold-up. My supplier has to order them in from the factory, and that could take time. There is a shipment due any day now and he's hoping that there are some of the bits we need in that, otherwise it could be at least a week before we see them. Do you want me to try another supplier on the off chance, or are you prepare to wait a little?"

She looked at me. "Did you have something to do with this?"

"No way! Although, now that it's happened I have to admit that I'm not upset by the news." Bert gave me that look that asked if he'd done the right thing. I smiled my response.

Left to ourselves I cleared the plates up and stacked them in the sink. "You wash and I'll dry." Dianne said, grabbing the tea towel. We had the dishes done in no time, and then it was time for her to go to bed. I was hoping that she would suggest that she should sleep with me, but no, instead. "Do you have much success with this parts scam?"

"Whatever are you suggesting?"

"Don't come the innocent with me, I saw the look that went from Bert to you and back again. You wanted the delay in the parts, didn't you?"

"Yes, I wanted it, but I didn't put him up to it, he did that all on his own, honest."

"And I suppose that you'd like it if I asked if I could sleep with you, wouldn't you?"

"No." This brought a reaction from her. "I'd love it. I might have forgotten what it is that I'm supposed to do, but I promise to do my best."

"I won't promise anything. If you wake up in the morning and I'm not in bed with you, you'll know I wasn't satisfied with your performance."

"How not to put me under pressure. What if I think that you're a dud root, do I ask you to go to your own bed?"

"Are you suggesting that I'm no good at making love?"

"Of course not, but you started it when you said that you might not be satisfied with me."

"I get the impression that this whole conversation is both of us putting off the inevitable because, for whatever reason, we're both a little scared." She came to me and kissed me. It was the best kiss that I'd had in I don't know how long, including those earlier on today.

I led her down the passage to the door marked 'PRIVATE' and opened it. "The bathroom is through that door, you get under the shower while I rustle up a towel for you. If you don't want me to see you naked, I'll shove it through the door without looking."

"You can look if you like."

I heard the shower hiss into life and the sounds of her showering. Towel in hand, I opened the bathroom door and stepped inside. "Towel Dianne, I'll leave it on the rack beside the cubicle door." The shower door slid open and this suds covered vision stood before my eyes. She said nothing, just reached for me, the invitation obvious. I scrambled out of my clothes and joined her.

"You and I have a lot in common." Dianne whispered as we snuggled together for warmth under the doona.

"Oh yes, and what might that be?" I whispered back to her as I kissed her breasts in turn.

"Your wife left you, and I caught my husband with his dick in another woman. Both of us have managed to lose a partner." She had a handful of cock and balls, it felt great.

"I didn't actually lose mine, she ran off with a Sales Rep that came calling. He still comes calling and, do you know what makes it worse?" I sucked on a nipple.

"What?" She had moved to stroking my cock.

"I still have to buy stuff from him, knowing that he was shagging my wife. I don't have a choice." My hand had found her pussy and was caressing it.

"You said, 'was shagging', does that mean that he's no longer, you know?" My cock was responding to her touch.

"It would appear that way." I had two fingers in her pussy.

"Have you given any thought to trying to get her back?" I had given up on her nipple temporarily while I moved between her legs and placed my cock at the entrance to her pussy.

"Are you trying to kill the mood?" It was half way in her by now.

"I'll shut up now, shall I?" She said. I had pulled back until it was almost out.

"Feel free to vocalise your feelings." I was now in as far as I could go, and it felt fine.

"You might need ear plugs, I tend to be noisy." I was about halfway in, or out, depending on whether you were a half full or half empty kind of guy.

Loud she was, her first orgasm rattled the windows, (not really, but this is my story and I'll tell it my way) this started Bluey howling. "What's that noise?" She asked, when she had quietened down and he had reached full cry.

"It's Bluey, when sounds reach a certain pitch it does something and he has to join in."

"Is he going to do this every time?"

"That all depends on how loud you get. Is there any way that you can tone it down a bit?"

"I could always suck on a pillow."

"There's one question that I just have to ask."

"Oh oh, I have a feeling that I won't like this. You're not going to get all deep and meaningful on me, are you?"

"What I need to know is this, what we're having right now, for real, or am I a revenge fuck?"

"It's for real. Oh I have to admit, when we were carrying on when I first got here, that the thought did cross my mind, after all you have the right credentials, in that you're a man and a passably handsome one at that."

"Gee thanks for nothing, I am the handsomest bloke in town, ask any woman."

"Okay, I concede that you're better looking than Bert. Now let me get on with my story. When you and I went out on our photo gathering trip, I took a closer look at you, and I was liking what I was seeing. You weren't trying to hit on me, and, while that would normally be considered to be an insult to a girl, I found that it had the opposite effect, it was turning me on. I wanted to make love to you, not as revenge on my bastard of a husband, but to tell me that I am still attractive to men, and to renew my faith in the species. You have done both of those and I want you to do it again."

We did it again, twice. Having had the doubts as to her motives for wanting me to make love to her removed, I got stuck in and enjoyed the experience immensely. I don't know what time it was when we eventually got off to sleep, but it was daylight when we woke up. There was enough time for a heart-starter, and shower before we went to the kitchen for a slap-up breakfast of cereal, bacon and eggs, toast, great thick slabs of toast, and coffee, a huge mug of it. Refreshed and replenished, we went into the bar to get it ready for the early morning rush that consisted of Bert. "I thought I'd find you two together. Dianne, I've located parts from another supplier, and they're on their way. Should have them in a couple of days, can I have a beer to be going on with?"

"Great segue mate, that's the real reason that you came over, that and to check whether Dianne and I were getting cosy."

"Well?"

"Well what?"

"Both."

"Yes and yes." Dianne said as she passed him a beer. "You're only getting this to shut you up."

"I'm offended. Here I am, showing bush hospitality to a tourist, and what do I get? Insults, that's what."

"I know, and if it wasn't for my man here, Deb would be after me with a shot gun." She patted him on the top of his almost hairless head.

"So, what are your plans for today, more photos?"

"That's the general idea, after all, it's why I came here."

"We'll be over in a little while to refuel, can you get Deb to look after the pub while we're gone?"

"Sure, see you in a bit." He left.

I went to my office and returned with my camera. "I have a confession to make. I have lashed out and bought a digital back for my camera to replace the film back, so I can plug it into my computer and see what I've taken much quicker than sending film off to be processed. It's still a medium format camera, one that produces a much larger primary image than your 35mm camera." I took the Hasselblad from my camera bag and passed it to her.

"Have you taken any pictures with this?"

"No. I only got it a couple of months ago, and finding the time and motivation to go out taking pictures has been a problem, it's that kind of past-time that, on one hand is a solitary pursuit because it can be boring, and I wouldn't ask anyone to sit and watch me while I set up, and wait for the right moment. While on the other, company would be great on these occasions. I have sat for four hours just for one shot."