The Cage Crinoline

Matthew added "It was much easier to work out the fastenings on this size. We thought of a 4 metre diameter at first but we discarded that as totally unmanageable .."

"It would be" replied Lisa "The wearer would have to be about 5 metres tall to carry it properly" As she said that a thought flitted through her mind. She dismissed it for later consideration and brought her attention back to the prototype.

Matthew continued " .. so we compromised on 2 metres. Would you like to try it?"

"Yes, I would." said Lisa "but I'll need help with it. I've dressed for a trial."

Everyone looked at her. She was wearing a track suit. Was that "dressed". As they watched Lisa peeled off her top showing a tightly corseted waist and massive cleavage. As she eased her trouser bottoms down Andy Jones spoke.

"Ahem. I think I'd better leave you young'uns to get on or my missus'll give me what for. Will you call into my office when you've finished Lisa?"

Lisa turned to him with her trousers still on her hips. She grabbed him by the shoulders and kissed him hard. The apprentices were astonished. None of them had expected their Managing Director to be kissed in public.

"Thank you very much ..." said Lisa and emphasised "Mr Jones. I'll see you later."

She turned away and pulled off her trousers revealing opaque leggings clinging to her massive thighs. Andy Jones made a hurried exit.

"Oh dear, Lisa!" said Mrs Campbell "I think you've embarrassed him."

"I don't think so" replied Lisa "He's seen more of me on the football pitch. He was pretending to be embarrassed to save the blushes of his innocent apprentices."

All of them laughed at that. All the apprentices and Mrs Campbell were Silverbridge supporters and knew Lisa's skills at football.

Matthew, Roger and Jason lifted the cage off its stand. They held it high up in the air as Lisa positioned herself underneath. She raised her arms as they lowered it gently. Fay unfastened the belt buckles as Lisa's head passed through the opening. Lisa's shoulders caught momentarily as the cage was lowered but then she settled it around her hips.

"I'll need help to do it up" she told them. It needs to be in the right position as it's fastened and I can't hold it and fasten it as well."

"I'll do that" said Fay.

Matthew, Roger and Jason held the lower edge of the cage steady as Lisa positioned it at her waist. Fay fastened the buckles. Then they all stood back as Lisa turned slowly. The lowest part of the cage was about 10cm from the floor.

Lisa took several steps. The cage stayed in position as she moved, maintaining the lowest part horizontal. She turned to the apprentices.

"This looks as if you've done it" Lisa smiled "I'd like to try it with a dress but this is looking just perfect."

Denise reached for one of Lisa's dresses - the largest one.

"This one right?" she asked Lisa

"Yes, but I'll need a petticoat under it. The cream one should do."

Claudia picked up the cream petticoat and passed it to Lisa who wriggled into it. The boys helped to ease it down over the cage evenly as Denise, Fay and Claudia lifted the dress. Then they hit a snag. The girls couldn't reach far enough to raise the dress over Lisa's head because of the cage in the way. As they stood wondering what to do Mrs Campbell saw the solution.

"If you boys would hold the girls' waists, then they could lean far enough to get the dress on."

It worked. The dress was gently shaken down over the petticoat, with the girls helping this time and then Fay laced up the back opening.

Lisa swayed the dress tentatively then walked up and down the room, slowly at first then faster. The skirt stayed in shape without distortion and seemed incredibly light compared with the hooped petticoats. It felt as if it was held up by a helium-filled balloon. She turned and twisted quickly. The dress followed her movements exactly.

She turned back to the apprentices. "Which of you guys is the best dancer?" she asked. The boys looked diffident but the girls solved their dilemma. "Jason!" they shouted almost together.

"Well Jason?" Lisa smiled at him.

"Madam, will you give me the honour of this dance?" Jason asked bowing formally.

"I should be delighted, Sir" replied Lisa as she sunk into a low courtesy.

Jason held her arm and waist in the waltz position and they waltzed slowly around the room, gradually increasing speed as the others clapped a rhythm. When they finished Jason bowed and Lisa curtsied again to loud clapping from the others.

"Well!" said Lisa "You seemed to have made the perfect cage crinoline. Why did you make the others?"

Jason spoke for the apprentices.

"You haven't tried to sit down" he said "You can't! That cage won't collapse or move. If you try to sit down you either show everything or at worst we think it might invert like an umbrella in a strong wind."

"Oh" said Lisa "I see. So you've sorted that out with the others?"

"We think so" said Denise "What we thought we'd do is put them on to show you."

"And while we three girls are doing that.. " continued Claudia ".. we thought that you'd like to see the effect for yourself of this cage. We've persuaded Mrs Campbell to model it for you since she is nearest to your build."

"That sounds like a good idea" said Lisa.

"The guys will help will help you and Mrs Campbell to change while we get kitted up." finished Fay.

The three girls went behind the curtain. There were giggles from time to time from the girls as Lisa and Mrs Campbell changed with the boys' assistance. When Mrs Campbell was dressed in Lisa's petticoat and ball gown she and Jason waltzed around the room as Lisa watched carefully. Then Mrs Campbell tried to sit down. The skirt flew up in front revealing her overall skirt and sensible shoes. Lisa laughed with her.

"I can see that wouldn't do" she gurgled happily. The boys laughed as well.

"It could make dances very interesting" said Jason.

"We're ready!" came a shout from behind the curtain.

"So are we" replied Lisa.

The girls emerged. Each was wearing smaller cage crinolines each with a hem diameter of about 1.5 metres.

Fay's crinoline had seven hoops but instead of the vertical steel strips they were held together with vertical tapes about 5cm wide.

Denise's also had seven hoops but they were linked by short steel strips arranged in steps around the hoop so that the top of each link was on a different part of the hoop to the bottom of the next link.

Claudia's crinoline was very different. It was like a geodesic dome with crisscrossed strips at a 45 degree angle. Only at the hem was there a horizontal hoop which appeared to have long slots through its middle.

Fay stood in front of the others.

"This is our second version" she said "It is more like the Victorian patterns. If you sit down .." she sat on a chair ".. the hoops tilt and compress at the back but the front stays down. They do, but we weren't so happy about the effect when you twist or spin. "

Fay twisted sharply to her left. The hoops lifted and distorted as the tapes moved and then as she stopped the reaction twisted the hoops the other way. Then Fay spun round several times in quick succession. The hoops wound themselves up like a clockspring then unwound violently the other way as she stopped.

"That effect would be dampened by the petticoat and skirt but it would still be noticeable" ended Fay as she stepped back.

Denise came forward. "We thought that if we combined the torsional rigidity of the first design with staggered links like this we could stop the winding up effect that Fay just showed you."

Denise went through the same movements that Fay had done. The staggered links stopped the twisting distortion.

"However, there is still a problem." said Denise sitting down to demonstrate that the hoops didn't ride up. "The links need to move freely and we had difficulty keeping them loose. In use we think that they could stick and then the shape and movement wouldn't be right. We could solve that with a bit more experimentation because this one is so nearly right but .."

She gestured at Claudia who walked forward saying ".. this one is on a completely different principle. It's rather like a folding trellis work panel. It's firm when you are moving, doesn't wind up .." Claudia span and twisted violently without any effect on the shape ".. and you can sit down easily. The slots in the lower hoop take up the movement with less need to have as many moving parts as Claudia's one. If they do get stiff all that might have been needed was some light oiling on the lower hoop but we've eliminated that by adding nylon runners in the slots. We think that either this one or Denise's one would do. What do you think, Lisa?"

The apprentices stood expectantly waiting for Lisa's appraisal of their work. She looked closely at the three cages on display before saying

"I think that any of these three are better than I expected to find. However, now you've come so close to perfection I'd still like to see how these move under dresses before I decide." Lisa looked at the girls who nodded slowly.

Fay said "That's a fair point. Have you got dresses that fit us?"

"I think so" said Lisa.

The girls donned petticoats over their cages and then the boys helped them with the dresses, lacing them up under the supervision of Lisa and Mrs Campbell.

Jason approached Fay "May I have this dance, please?" he asked.

Matthew spoke to Claudia "Me too?"

"No!" she replied "Ask properly!"

Matthew spoke again "Madam Claudia, it would be a great honour if you would condescend to dance with me?" He bowed low in front of her.

Claudia responded with a deep courtesy but said "That's more like it, Matthew" and took his hand.

Roger bowed to Fay "May I have the honour of your company, Fay?"

Fay curtsied to him and held out her hand.

The six apprentices lined up as Mrs Campbell counted "One, two, three .." Then they set off waltzing as Lisa and Mrs Campbell clapped.

Lisa walked round watching the skirts move. All were better for the larger skirts than any hooped petticoat but there was no doubt that Claudia's and Denise's cages moved less than Fay's. But Lisa still wasn't sure that Fay's cage wouldn't have a more authentic "Victorian" feel. She was convinced that all were good enough to show off her dresses and Mrs Campbell's one would be fantastic for really grand occasions (as long as you didn't sit down!).

"Enough!" she cried out "I've got the idea of all of them."

The dancers stopped, formally saluted each other, then gathered around Lisa.

"I'll have to talk to Mr Jones" said Lisa "I like all four designs for different reasons, even the first prototype. That one would do for processions or parades even if not for a dance hall. How can I thank you? You've done wonders in three days. I could make dresses for the girls, but what can I do for the boys? Any ideas?"

"Well .. " began Roger diffidently ".. we're all "Glossies" supporters .."

"OK. So what would you like from the "Glossies"?" Lisa asked.

"A signed football?" asked Jason

"OK a signed football each"

The girls looked upset. Lisa turned to them.

"Don't tell me. You want signed footballs too?"

"Yes please, Lisa." said Denise

"No dresses?"

"I'd like a dress" Fay said wistfully "but I'd never have a chance to wear it because we don't go to that sort of event."

Lisa turned on the boys "Is that your fault?" she pretended to glare at them with an eyebrow cocked showing she was joking.

"We'd like to take them" said Roger "but we haven't got the right sort of clothes even if we had the money for the tickets."

"OK. I'll make a deal with you. Signed footballs each, dresses for the girls and evening suits for the boys, and free invitations to the Glossies next dinner dance. And you can keep the clothes afterwards. That suit you?"

Jason looked around and replied for the apprentices.

"We would be delighted but we're afraid you are giving us too much .. " Lisa shook her head " .. and what about Mrs Campbell? She helped us get our ideas and work together. If we need rewarding, so does she."

"I'll sort out something with Mrs Campbell since you've asked so nicely." replied Lisa.

"Then we thank you very much" said Jason. "We'd like you to take the cage crinolines with you and after you've spoken to Mr Jones, perhaps we'll make some more for you."

"While you are with Mr Jones, we'll change and load your car" added Mrs Campbell.

"Thank you" said Lisa "Thank you all!"

She kissed Mrs Campbell saying quietly "See you at the club on Friday to sort out your reward" Mrs Campbell nodded.

Then Lisa kissed the girls, then the boys. She put her track suit back on and left to see Mr Jones.

* * *

Mr Jones secretary showed Lisa in to his office.

"Hello Lisa. What did you think of the apprentices' efforts?" he asked.

"Every one was great. Much better than I'd even hoped for." she answered "But what about the costing?"

"As far as those they've already made are concerned we'll settle for one dress for Mrs Jones. What about the apprentices?"

"I've sorted that out with them. One signed football each and clothing and tickets for a Glossies' dinner dance." said Lisa.

"I'd like to be there too. It'll be nice to see my apprentices enjoying themselves."

"I wasn't sure whether they had other partners. Are they all paired off?" Lisa asked

"It's funny that. The boys are second year apprentices. The girls are first year. Usually there's a mix of sexes each year. The girls turned up and before we knew it the boys were hooked."

"Girls can be like that" agreed Lisa "So they're three pairs. That's OK. I didn't want to force them together"

Andy laughed "You'd have to take a crowbar to force them apart. That's why I involved Mrs Campbell this week or they might be learning things in the firm's time that I shouldn't pay them for. Anyway, I've talked to the production and finance managers using the prototypes as examples. Apart from the first huge one they all cost the same. If we produce them in batches of 50 the price would be .. " He wrote down a figure on a piece of paper and pushed it across the desk at Lisa. She picked it up and whistled.

"So low? Does that include your profit?"

"Yes, and we could vary the sizes for about 5 per cent more on the batch."

"In which case.." said Lisa "I think you may have an order soon. I'll just review my market research and let you know by Friday week. I'd say yes now except I'm not sure which design would sell best. We may well end up producing all three types. It's a small specialist market but if we price them low we could take most UK and European sales because the only competitors I know of are in the States."

"OK. Let me know and we'll see what we can make out of this. You'll do the marketing?"

"Yes. It fits in with my adjustable hoops. The same outlets could carry both."

"Thank you for thinking of Jones Ltd. I hope this will be a profitable relationship."

"I'm sure it will be. Thank you for everything. Bye!"

Lisa left and returned to her MPV. Mrs Campbell was standing by it.

"We had trouble getting the prototype cage in but just managed it. We've put the stand in as well. It was just knocked up out of scrap and you'll need something since the cage won't fold or compress."

"Thank you, Mrs Campbell. See you Friday."

Lisa climbed in the MPV and drove back to her dressmaking shop. She had to have help to unload and her dressmakers marvelled over the cages. The huge one was positioned on its stand after the double doors had been opened to get it in. Lisa draped the large petticoat over it to stop the reflections from the polished stainless steel.

Lisa went upstairs to prepare food for the meeting to discuss Thomas.

* * *

While Lisa prepared the food she reviewed the afternoon and the passing thought returned. What about a really HUGE cage crinoline? She had thought of the town's carnival procession in August. There was always some horseplay with the men of the Morris Dancers chasing women, and some of the club floats were just as bad. Now if she and the Vixens could produce a display which could justify them chasing men .. She'd discuss it with the others tonight and Harold's opinion would be worth having as well...

* * *

Alison and Frances were the first to arrive, followed by Jane and Harold. Candice would arrive shortly. Lisa brought the food into the living room and made coffee. By the time the coffee was ready, Candice arrived.

"Sorry I'm a little late, Lisa" Candice said "Mum's been going on and on about your visit to Jones Ltd this afternoon. Why didn't you acknowledge her and keep calling her "Mrs Campbell"?"

"I thought I might undermine her authority over the apprentices if I didn't keep it quiet that I knew your Mum very well. I hope she didn't mind?"

"No. She thought it was that. But what about kissing Andy Jones when you were half-naked? What about his authority?"

"What!" said Alison "Lisa kissed the Managing Director in front of his apprentices - and half naked! Tell us all about it! Now!"

"It wasn't that much of a deal" expostulated Lisa "I was wearing a corset and track suit trousers but I suppose I did have a lot of boob on display.."

"A lot! According to Mum you were showing more cleavage than the Grand Canyon. Poor Andy didn't know where to put his hands!" said Candice.

"He was the perfect gentleman. I was only saying thank you for what he and his apprentices (and your Mum) had done." Lisa protested.

"And then you kissed all the apprentices and Mum at the end." accused Candice.

"Well ... they all needed thanking .."

"You're a danger to society. You should be preceded by a man carrying a banner saying "Dangerous predatory female!" to protect the town." Candice continued. "You caused havoc at the firm today."

"It was worth it. You should see what they have made for me. But not now. We need to talk about Thomas." said Lisa

"You're right" said Harold "Thomas is causing problems for the team. I'm not sure why but I don't think it's his relationship with you that is the real cause. He may be distancing himself from you but I get the feeling that there's something more seriously wrong."

"Thank you, Harold!" snorted Lisa "His relationship with me is UN-important!?"

"No, Lisa, I didn't mean that. There's something wrong that is even MORE important to Thomas. Because it's more important than his relationship with you that gives us some idea of the scale of the problem Thomas has got. It must be life-threatening or nearly so to be THAT important."

"Lisa!" yelled Alison "Harold is talking sense. Calm down! We're all here to help Thomas .. and you."

Harold asked Lisa "Do you know if he's seen a doctor or been to hospital in the last couple of months?"

Lisa paused and paled. "Not that I'm aware of. He might have been and not told me, but I don't think he has." She was quieter now as the full implication of what Harold was suggesting sunk in.

Candice spoke quickly "I KNOW that he hasn't been to Silverbridge's hospital. Harold asked me to check our records so I did ..

"You did WHAT!" exploded Frances "Isn't that illegal?"

"Well, actually ... Yes it is" said Candice apologetically "But I agreed with Harold. We needed to know as much as we can if we're going to help. Anyway, Thomas hasn't been to the hospital, not to ANY clinic. His last visit was to Accident and Emergency last season after his leg was gashed during a match. Nothing since."

"So .. " came in Harold "it seems unlikely that Thomas' problem is related to his health. If he had some serious disease he would probably have been to the hospital at least as an Out-Patient for tests. We know he hasn't. If his problem is "life-threatening" and its not medical there's really only one thing left, but I'm reluctant to believe it ..."