The Captive Bride Ch. 06

They rode uphill for the next couple of days. The land became steeper and stonier as rolling farmland gave way to foothills and then mountains. On the second day they started to see patches of snow on the slopes above them, and by the evening there was a thin layer on the road, scuffed by a few wheel ruts and hoof prints.

They made camp under some trees where the ground was clear. The fire melted the snow on the branches above them, so that they were showered gently in a warm rain as they ate. The snow muffled what little conversation there was, deadening the spirit. This was the worst part of the journey. They'd be at the castle by tomorrow evening, so they were tantalisingly close, but the mountain lands which made up Duke Alexei's fiefdom were inhospitable to travellers, the roads ill-maintained and inns few and far between.

Nikolai did not eat with the men, instead taking two plates to his tent, where he and Elinor would share their meal. She'd eaten nothing for the past couple of days, drinking only a little mead. She'd been withdrawn and silent and had avoided the rest of the soldiers as best she could. Nikolai had been trying to look after her, make sure she was warm, clean, happy. She pushed him away though, and he was deeply frustrated -- it was hurting his pride.

She was sitting in the tent with her legs crossed when he came in, staring blankly at the canvas. He put the plate down next to her, being careful not to touch her, then began to eat his own. Watching out of the corner of his eye, he saw with satisfaction that she was picking the plate up and eating a little of it.

They ate in silence. Nikolai took the opportunity to take a look at her in the light. The bruises on her face were healing well, but she still moved stiffly and winced as she changed position sometimes. She had deep circles under her eyes, from lack of sleep. Many times Nikolai had woken in the night to hear her turning restlessly or crying softly.

"I heard them say we're nearly there."

Her voice took him by surprise; she'd barely spoken in two days and he'd almost forgotten what it sounded like.

"Yes. If there isn't too much snow we should arrive by tomorrow evening."

"Where are we going?"

He'd been dreading that question, knowing he'd have to explain to her eventually. He wanted to protect her from what was coming -- her future life -- as long as he could, because he himself wanted to deny that this journey was ever going to end. He was still just as captivated by her, and wanted to possess her. No, not possess her; she was a shell of herself now, and he didn't want her like this. If things were different, he'd have asked her to be his wife long ago.

He answered carefully. "We are going to Narodnaya."

She looked away, cross. "You're being obtuse. I don't know what Narodnaya is."

Nikolai smiled inwardly, pleased to see some emotion. "Narodnaya is the town. We are going to the castle, the seat of Duke Alexai."

"This is the person I'm going to meet?"

"Yes."

"What does he want with me?"

Nikolai took a deep breath. This was what he was dreading telling her.

"He might want to marry you."

She was silent for a few moments, and still as a statue.

"Only 'might'?" she asked finally.

"It's probable. But he didn't send us looking for a wife, specifically."

"Are there no women in Narodnaya then?"

"No noblewomen, no."

"And the duke refuses to marry below his station?"

"He cannot." replied Nikolai, a hint of bitterness creeping into his voice. "If he doesn't marry a noblewoman, the marriage will not be valid, he will produce no legitimate heir and the estate will pass to the Prince."

"Why kidnap me, though? Surely there is a noblewoman somewhere in this country who will marry him?"

Nikolai cursed her tenacity. She wasn't going to like the answer. "You must understand, Elinor, that if he marries you, you will never want for anything. You will be respected, protected; your children will be heirs... Your life will be safe. If you die, he must mourn for five years before he can remarry."

"And if he doesn't want me? Will you give me back to the troops?"

Nikolai's heart wrenched at her accusation. "Never..." he said brokenly. "I will never hurt you again. If he does not want you, I will take care of you." He lifted his hand to her face, and cupped her cheek gently in her hand. To his surprise, she didn't flinch or pull away.

"Will you take me home?"

"Yes." Nikolai sighed. "If that is what you want."

A softness appeared in her eyes, and the unhappy lines of her face seemed to lift a little. He moved to take his hand away, but to his surprise she clung to it, holding it against her cheek for a moment before letting it drop and looking away, embarrassed.

"You still didn't answer my question. Why can't he find a willing bride?"

Nikolai tried to make the best of it. "He doesn't want a bride from this country. It is many years since he has fathered a child -- bastards, all of them -- and he believes that... he believes that the fertility of the women here is reduced."

"And is it?"

Nikolai thought hard. He was probably committing treason by discussing this, but she needed to be warned. "There are still many children in Narodnaya..."

"So he is infertile... but then, he shall bear no children by me, if he..." She was silenced by the thought. "This is to be my life then? A childless marriage to an old man who will probably hate me? To spend the rest of my days in the mountains, away from friends, from my family..." She turned away from him and sobbed in despair, aware of the hopelessness of the situation and afraid.

"I'm sorry. I wish there was a way I could..."

"You could have!" she hissed at him with white-hot anger. "You could have left my family alone. You could have left me for dead on the road. You could have let me run off. You could let me go now, but you won't."

Nikolai sighed. He was about to justify himself to her; she'd never make it home from here, he couldn't have left her once the men had seen her... but he forced himself to admit that it was his own cowardice which kept her prisoner.

He blew out the lamp and rolled over to sleep. This would be their last night together, the last night he would wake to the sound of her soft breathing, feel her warmth or find himself accidently lying against her slender body. If things were otherwise... but they weren't. He was going to have to live without her.