The Carny Pt. 11

"Remember...reasonable," he calmly said.

Roy looked ready to spring into action at a moment's notice. Bruce, though somewhat more solidly built than I was at the time, still looked ineffectually small in direct comparison. I momentarily feared he might do something that would necessitate the man I loved having to do him physical harm.

Bruce wisely relaxed his countenance. Roy then calmly continued.

"I understand he's your nephew...but he's no boy...and he's no faggot. He's nineteen, Bruce. Legally that makes him an adult...just like you or me...and as near as I can tell...he's all man."

My uncle's face reddened in anger again.

"Don't you ever compare yourself to me! I have NEVER shoved my dick up another man's butt!"

He aimed his fiery gaze my way and stuck his finger out at me.

"And I've certainly never bent over so another man could shove his up mine! Where we come from that's called being a faggot!"

Roy tensed up and doubled his fists down at his sides. I appealed to him in the spirit of his own call for reason.

"Please, Roy...I'm fine. This is my problem...let me handle it."

He relaxed.

The even greater disgust and undeniable pain in Bruce's tone to me had hurt every bit as much as having to watch Roy rush from that bus station after our farewell hug.

I was angered by the vileness of his words, and yet felt oddly ashamed of myself for triggering the painful place from which they'd sprung. I carefully considered my response.

"I don't know how long you were standing outside," I began.

"LONG ENOUGH TO KNOW EXACTLY WHAT WAS GOING ON IN HERE, EDDIE!" he cut me off.

"Bruce...let him finish," Roy sternly intoned.

Bruce closed his eyes and bit his bottom lip.

"Anyway," I resumed, "I can only imagine what you heard...or what it sounded like to you, at least. I'm sure you think you know what it all meant...but you don't...and you're wrong."

A look of disbelief came across Bruce's face. He opened his mouth to respond and I cut him off.

"Wrong about me...and wrong about him," I concluded, pointing at Roy.

He glared at me.

"Get your goddamn bag! You're coming with me!"

"Easy now," Roy said, obviously prepared to intercede in the event of a violent outburst from either of us.

My uncle wheeled on him.

"Stay out of this, you fucking...PERVERTED...PEDOPHILE!"

Visions of the altercation with Frank flashed in my mind at those words and I shot Roy a look pleading for calm.

"I'm no pedophile, Bruce. I'll say it again. Ed's nineteen," Roy rebutted.

He remained physically calm as he addressed Bruce's slanderous comment, but there was clearly an edge to his tone of voice.

"And he's no pervert...not if we were acting out of love...and we were," I further corrected him, "We're in love, Uncle Bruce...love. How is me finding Roy any different than you finding the love of your life at this carnival?"

"YOU LEAVE MILLIE OUT OF THIS!" he screamed.

He went silent while he regained his composure.

"What we have is real...it's love...in accordance with nature," he steadfastly asserted.

"Uncle Bruce...maybe you're right...I'm certainly no expert on nature. But can't you admit the slightest possibility that maybe you're wrong? You're a businessman. You're no more an expert on nature than I am. All I know is, I love Roy...and have for almost as long as I can remember. He says he loves me too...and I believe him with all my heart and soul. If that doesn't accord with nature then what does?"

He made a disgusted face and shuddered, unable to even entertain the notion.

"Let's go," he flatly demanded.

"No."

Bruce started to make a move for me and Roy planted a hand on his chest, stopping him.

"Get your things!" he demanded of me again.

"He's nineteen, Bruce. I was fighting in the Pacific at his age. He's old enough to decide his future."

Roy's substantial muscle mass defensively stood at attention.

"Now...if he WANTS to go with you then I've got no business trying to stop him...and I won't. But if you have any ideas of dragging him out of here against his will...well...you're going to have to go through me to do it."

It didn't take Bruce long to think better of that. He cut me the coldest glare I've ever seen.

"Are you coming?"

"No."

He silently sized up the situation and then fixed his glare on me again.

"Okay...so maybe I'm no expert on nature...maybe he's no pervert and maybe you're no faggot. It doesn't change the fact that you're both FIRED! Now...the two of you...get your things and go wherever you like. I'm not picking up the tab one more night for some goddamn gorilla to ASS RAPE MY NEPHEW!"

He looked at Roy and took a sarcastic tone.

"So he's Ed now...an adult...all man..."

He then turned back to me.

"...won't your mom and dad be so proud of you?!"

He stormed out, slamming the door behind him.

I was stunned, visibly shaking. It seemed like I should be crying, but I was so shocked that the tears just wouldn't come.

"I'm so sorry, Ed," Roy softly said, "None of this would ever have happened but for me and my selfishness."

"That's not how I feel, Roy. Neither should you. If this was all selfishness on your part...well...it's still the best thing that's ever happened in my life as far as I'm concerned."

I couldn't control the shaking.

"Hold me? Please?"

He rushed over and wrapped me in his arms. It was as though he blanketed my trembling body in his enormity. I still shook, but I preferred shaking within the comfort of the singular being we had forged as opposed to alone.

Roy was silent while he enfolded me. At some point I began to siphon strength from him and my shaking stopped. My tears still wouldn't budge.

It was confounding. Almost everything changed for both of us in that brief and heated exchange; everything but the togetherness of 'us'.

For the first time in my young life I was facing the unimaginable prospect of moving forward without the support and love of my blood relatives. Why would they not fall?

"It's okay to cry, Ed. Lord knows I did my share of it overseas," he comforted me.

"You were facing life and death. I'm only facing life. Somehow that doesn't seem as dire...especially as long as you're still in it. I keep thinking the tears are bound to come eventually...and thank you...I'll take you up on that if and when they do."

There was a another much more gentle knock at the door. Roy cautiously answered it. It was the manager.

He opened the door wide. The man seemed to wilt as he beheld Roy's shirtless, hulking corpulence. His voice sounded meek as he spoke to us.

"I'm going to have to ask you fellows to leave. Some man just paid your room fee and canceled the rest of your stay."

"How about I pay for the room tonight out of my pocket and we'll be on our way in the morning?"

"He had an awful lot to say about you two. Frankly you seem like nice enough guys to me. I have no way to know if he was truthing. But as slow as business is for old places like this...true or not...if it got around, I might as well put a 'for sale' sign up. Between you and me, ain't nobody buying these things anymore."

"We understand. Give us an hour. We'll drop the key off on our way out."

"You can use the key drop on the front porch. Getting late and I trust you. Sorry, boys."

"Thanks. Goodnight."

Suddenly I was too angry for tears.

"That fucking asshole! Goddamn him! I never thought he would really do us that way!"

"He was in a world of hurt, Ed. Don't be too hard on him. I'm sure he'll come to regret what he's done someday. For now let me see what I can figure out. Meanwhile, let's get our things together."

Within forty-five minutes my rage had subsided to the point that I felt presentable to the world. Our bags were packed and in Roy's truck. He dropped the key in the box and we pulled out onto the two-lane.

"What are we going to do, Roy?"

"I reckon we'll head to Pensacola and figure things out from there. Tonight we'll just drive till we see the next 'vacancy' sign and get another room. We can drive it on in tomorrow. This is a hell of a mess I've got you into. I could kick myself."

"I wish you wouldn't say things like that. This isn't my mess, it's ours. Your world just changed as much as mine did. And it's nobody's fault. If you still love me as much as I love you then we'll find our way out of this together."

He laid his hand on my thigh and gave it an affectionate squeeze.

"I wouldn't know how to stop loving you, Ed. We'll put our heads together on this thing when we get home. Why don't you get some rest for now."

I'd never set eyes on his house, but he said "when we get home" - as in 'once we reach OUR home'. He said it. That was good enough for me.