The Chaos Blade

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Phineas
Phineas
747 Followers

"Not a very fitting end," Darakor whispered, opening his eyes and glancing up at the sky. His gaze fixed on Kelnozz, his expression unreadable. Trails of fresh blood ran from his nostrils and the corners of his mouth.

"I can save him," Alesha said softly, afraid to not offer to help and afraid to offer to help.

Kelnozz looked at Darakor, his face unreadable. "Your crimes can never be forgiven, Darakor, for that alone you have earned death."

Darakor closed his eyes and swallowed weakly. His breath rasped and gurgled in his throat. He nodded his head weakly and opened his eyes again. "Fair enough," he whispered, "I'd never be like you."

"I will remember you as my friend and my student, that is all I can give you," Kelnozz said, his voice tightly controlled.

Darakor smiled, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "Don't forget the rest, it might happen again."

Kelnozz nodded as Darakor closed his eyes. He thought him gone and was about to get up when Darakor whispered his final words, "Kalista Risingmoon yet lives."

Kelnozz's eyes widened. He bent over Darakor to try and force him to speak more but the light elf had died. Kelnozz turned away from him bitterly and rose up.

"No, Garrick, he does not," Kelnozz answered, tightly shoving away the anger, the frustration, and the feelings of loss within him.

"None stands against you, Ancaruin. No decision must be made. If you would ascend to the shackles of Godhood, open those doors and pass beyond them to the realm where none may ever harm you," Garrick said, though the clenching of the muscles in his arms and leg spoke of the irritation it caused him to proclaim it.

Ancaruin glared at them all a final time then reached out for the gates. As soon as a wisp of magical mist he called a body touched the gate the twin doors opened smoothly. Pure blinding light shown through the opening between the gates, forcing them to squint and look away. Kelnozz blinked away the tears as long enough to see the shimmering bodies of the Gods standing royally within the brilliantly lit courtyard. Amongst them all Nordan and Martin each raised a hand in greeting and regarded him with warm smiles. Kelnozz felt himself nearly overcome before the spots in his vision were so great that he had to turn away or risk permanent blindness. Garrick alone could stand it's brilliance, though he too was forced to squint. He knew all of those who stood in procession awaiting the next God of Death to assume his throne.

Thus it was that Garrick alone saw Ancaruin step through the portal. With every inch of his massive body that made it through the gates more of him rematerialized into a solid form. In a few minutes he resembled once again the ancient and all powerful dragon that had long ago terrorized the skies of Viconia. As the last of his tail cleared the portcullis the gates swung smoothly shut with a reverberating boom.

Epilogue

"These pieces must never again be joined, else Bavorish's evil can be unleashed upon the world," Garrick said, picking up the two pieces of the short sword that contained the evil god within.

"Who will protect them?" He said, turning to face the assembled people.

"I will take one," Kelnozz stepped forward without hesitation. Already Kelnozz had taken Cirithallion from the ground and placed it in the opposite scabbard from Llarothimaril. The sword was lifeless, Ancaruin's presence departed, yet the magic within the blade still made it nearly without equal.

Garrick chuckled and shook his head. "No, my friend. You have a different doom upon you. You are the King of the Elves, such a place is no place for evil such as this."

Kelnozz frowned. Garrick had a point, he supposed, never mind that he had no real ambition to be the King of the Elves. He glanced around, wondering who was next.

Alesha wanted no part of it. She had felt it's evil in to many ways over the years. If she never saw the sword again it would be too soon. She shook her head, wondering why she had ever talked Yamara into going and getting it for her in the first place.

"I will take a part of it," Yamara said, reaching out and taking the hilt of the sword from Garrick's hand. Everyone looked at her in surprise, she had the least reason to care for Viconia's fate of any of them. "I seem to bounce from one world to the next a lot lately, might make things a little safer if I end up on another one and leave it behind," she offered with a smirk as an explanation.

Garrick chuckled and turned to look at Elvanshalee. Elvanshalee nodded, stepping forward to take the sundered blade. Garrick offered her a grin and then turned back to them all.

"Hell of a fight!" He said, grinning widely. None had the same enthusiasm the former God of War did, but his mood lightened theirs regardless. "Come, we have a long trip back to Innowendyn and a lot of celebrating to do!"

Kelnozz brightened only a little while Alesha's face fell. "Indeed, and I have a wedding to plan!" He glanced at Alesha nervously. "You can not be the Queen of the Elves, Alesha, for you are not an elf. I have a responsibility to them I can not deny."

Alesha nodded, squaring her back and preparing to face whatever fate awaited her. Already in her mind she considered taking off with Yamara. They had many good times together in the Tavern and had gotten along quite well. Now that Yamara had the strange powers she possessed together they could make quite a name for themselves she imagined. Anything to keep her from Innowendyn and the memory of the man she could not have.

"They will accept you as my wife if I name you the Mistress of Elves, however," Kelnozz continued, seeing her preparing herself for rejection. He grinned as her stunned eyes met his. She closed her mouth and flew into his arms, hugging him tightly and kissing him without pause.

Garrick chuckled again. Luingirth lowered his head so that he was near the group as well and watched with his own form of amusement apparent. "Ah Loo... I need to find me a good spirited wench I think. Not much better after a good battle then some ale in memory of the fallen and a woman!"

Luingirth snorted an indignant response. "Come on, I saw you looking at the light elf, you old wyrm!" Garrick jibed.

Elvanshalee's eyes widened in shock. She opened and closed her mouth a few times in indignation. This caused Garrick to laugh all the harder. Luingirth snorted again and raised his head to sit stiffly on the sandy beach.

"Enough of this foolishness, let us be off, we have many leagues to travel yet!" Garrick said, turning to where Luingirth sat and easily climbing up to the dragon's back. The others soon followed, with Yamara casting a long look at the adamantium gates of the castle and Elvanshalee staring long and hard at her brother's corpse. She felt only disappointment in her for him. No sense of less, just disappointment.

*****

Just over the Periphery, leaving the Lost Lands behind them, Yamara asked that they land so she could be on her way. They dismounted and stood around her in a semi-circle saying their goodbyes.

"It is best this way," Yamara explained. "These pieces must be separated as soon as possible. I have no interest in returning to Innowendyn right now and before me I have an entire world yet to explore."

Kelnozz nodded to her. He approved of her decision and respected her all the more for taking up the responsibility she had been given. Elvanshalee and Alesha agreed as well, though Alesha had truly hoped Yamara would return with them. In spite of their little altercation on the beach she considered Yamara a friend after all they had been through.

"Yamara, should you ever find the desire to come to Innowendyn, you will ever be welcomed," Kelnozz told her. Alesha smiled and came forward to hug her. Yamara returned the hug somewhat awkwardly, her own feeling for Alesha still somewhat hesitant. She had seen her at her worst now, it was not an image she would be able to set aside anytime soon.

"One last thing," Yamara sad, glancing about the semi-arid wilderness they had set down in. "Where is the nearest city?"

That earned a good natured chuckle from all of them. Garrick pointed to the Southeast. "It is perhaps three days journey from here, fairly easy going last I knew. The cities name is Gontach, it is at the base of a mighty mountain once thought high enough to commune with the Gods."

Yamara nodded. "My thanks then. Be well, all of you, let us hope that fate favors us and we never have need to see one another again."

Yamara turned and walked off, never looking back. The pendant glowed softly around her neck. She glanced down and smiled at it. She would never feel alone again.

*****

Kelnozz felt tears falling from his face, tears that he had never allowed to fall. Tears that spoke of countless generations of pain and suffering. He knew that somehow and somewhere his father was smiling down upon him. He had seen to it that the elves were one people again. Bavorish, the source of the corruption in the first place, was no more. Individuals may vary, but the curse had been lifted.

Alesha woke in their bedroom behind him. He had woken before her and now stood on the landing outside their bedroom, overlooking the rebuilt city of Loralost. After a brief celebration upon their return and an equally brief planning, Kelnozz and Alesha had been wed. As he predicted the elven people had been shocked but they had also accepted it. Alesha's magic would ensure that, unlike others of her race, she would live a long life beside him.

Elvanshalee had left after the wedding. Luingirth bore her aloft into the evening sky heading to the north and west, where both the Chachopeyan Islands and dwarven kingdom lay. Eventually Belurian lay that way as well. As Elvanshalee and Luingirth flew off Luingirth turned his head towards Garrick, who was watching them depart, and winked at him. Garrick had laughed long and hard at that, it seemed the light elf's cold beauty had gotten to the dragon after all!

"Kel, I have a question about something Darakor said at the end," Alesha said, coming up behind him softly.

Kelnozz turned and offered her a smile. She saw the trails of tears on his cheeks and rushed in to give him a hug. She sensed his mood and knew there was nothing wrong. After a moment Kelnozz asked her, equally softly, "What would you know about him?"

Alesha backed up in his arms so she could focus on his face. "Not about him, about what he said... Who is Kalista?"

Kelnozz closed his eyes and nodded. He had forgotten about her until now. He saw the concerned look on Alesha's face and chuckled. Even now she was still nervous.

"Her full name is Kalista Risingmoon. She is my mother."

Phineas
Phineas
747 Followers
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AnonymousAnonymousalmost 3 years ago

Overall, the trilogy would make a decent manuscript for a professional editor to turn into a finished work. At the end of the second book, I commented that it was not untypical for the 2nd book of a trilogy to be a bit flat, as the first book is usually driven by the passion of the writer starting out on the adventure of a new tale.

The passion and enthusiasm of the first book makes the second pale in comparison, as the real work begins. This is where a lot of would be authors fail; the hard work, without the boost of the 'new tale' passion and enthusiasm, can become drudgery, and the finale an impossibility.

You made it through the 1st and 2nd, and did a decent job with the third, but there was a bit too much convolution, lack of growth in some, but not all characters, and some unnecessary internal drama and dialogue in others. One thing which stuck out time and again was the actions of Garrick, and the failure of some characters to seek his counsel and wisdom. His character needs work; he would cycle from being a complete asshole to being gentle, and understanding so fast, it made one's head spin.

He was the sage old veteran in your story; a foreigner to the lands, like several other characters, but that similarity was never used to deepen the relationship(s) between the characters. He had been risen to god status, and had that persepctive, but it wasn't, IMO, utilized to full effect.

Garrick had also stepped down from being a god, carrying with him the wisdom of knowing when it is time to change, grow, or move on. This too, could have been used to soften his character, and create more of the cohesion groups of disparate persons normally form.

I see the lack of normal development of a group of individuals, into a group with common goals, and the natural relationships which form. That would be the biggest asset a professional editor would bring.

Don't get me wrong with my personal analysis; it was a good read, but it could be a great read. Many manuscripts, which later become best sellers, have been much worse reads, before the set of fresh eyes, and another mind, works them over. Few books are the works of singular people; they are the rare ones, and their influence lasts for generations. Most books are team efforts. This would be a great candidate for some added teammates.

Thanks for sharing, and thanks for all the work it takes to put together such huge project to submit to Lit.

Regards,

GeoD

texstertexsterabout 3 years ago
An epic story with desperate need of a proofreader

The story was incredible, I could hardly put it down. Strongly recommend a proofreader, not only for the grammatical issues (to/too, there/their/they’re, etc.), but also for the characters (at one point you call Eric Jason, and <spoilers> in the last battle you say Eric and Cowboy fight Bavorish when Eric died several battles before that). Those details stood out from an otherwise incredible piece of writing.

Lonely_readerLonely_readerover 10 years ago
Hell of a way

To NOT end a story. What of Yamara though?

cittrancittranalmost 11 years ago
Damn.

While part of me is pissed you killed off Eric & Bill, (that being the sentimental part), the other part of me understands why you did it. For the plot.

And, to be honest, there are few things I prefer more than a great plot.

And this one was pretty damn good.

(Convoluted as HELL though. ;) )

AnonymousAnonymousover 19 years ago
Brilliant Triology

Brilliant triology - can't wait for (if) you to write a sequel...

Great to see stories which are a good read first, and erotic second...

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