The Cheating Game 03

Elaine: I grew up in a home without much affection or supervision. My birth was a surprise for my parents who had just shipped my sister off to college and thought that they could finally relax. I suppose I acted out and partied to get attention but they were just tired and left me alone. My friends weren't the best influence either. I started having sex at fourteen and liked the attention I got from it.

In high school I was the slut. I changed boyfriends more than most girls changed their shoes. The only thing that got me into college was my diving. Once I got to college I stopped all the partying and worked hard on my grades but I was still the slut. I didn't want boyfriends, just a quick fuck.

That all changed when I met Phil. He came to a swim meet with his friend who was dating my roommate. We rode back to school together and talked the whole way. He was the first guy I ever interacted with who didn't try to get into my pants almost immediately. I guess he hadn't heard of my reputation. He said things that made me laugh and things that made me think. It was the longest conversation with a guy I had ever had. For the first time in my life I was really impressed by a man. As he was being his charming self I actually imagined for a minute what it would be like to have an actual boyfriend instead of a fuck-buddy but quickly realized that I was being foolish. I was way too busy with diving and school to invest time in a guy, no matter how cute and charming. Fuck-buddies were easier and didn't interfere with my plans. I also figured he would ask around about me and find out how easy I was and decide not to bother so when he asked me out I turned him down.

A few months later I got hurt, lost my diving scholarship and had to get a job to pay for school. One day he came into the diner where I worked and asked me out again. This time I said yes before I had a chance to over-think it. There was a pretty good chance he had heard about my reputation and wanted to score but I took a chance. We went out on a few dates and he didn't make a move at all! He just gave me a quick kiss goodnight. After our third date I had to make a booty call just to get laid. What was wrong with this guy?

On our fourth date though, wow. We went back to his place after dinner and he rocked my world. I had fucked thirty or so guys but I had never had a man make love to me. He started slowly taking my clothes off and kissing every inch of my body. When he laid me on his bed instead of climbing on he took me to the brink of orgasm again and again with his fingers and tongue until I was panting and begging him to fuck me. When he finally entered me he gazed into my eyes and for the first time I truly felt special and loved. My orgasm was life changing. I knew this was the man I wanted to marry and have babies with, something I had never really considered before.

Letting all my buddies know I was off the market wasn't easy but I was hooked on Phil and stayed faithful which was another first for me. When I found out his parents were rich I was determined that they wouldn't think I was after his money. I set out to be the best girlfriend a guy ever had. Before long I was being the best fiancée ever and then the best wife. I truly loved my man. We had so much fun together no matter what we were doing, finished each other sentences, laughed at the same jokes, enjoyed working out and made love every day.

Then things changed. His business grew and we decided I would quit work and start a family. I was so excited to be a Mom and was determined to make sure my children always knew how much I loved them but we received devastating news. I was infertile. This destroyed me. All of a sudden I felt like I was useless and less of a woman. Everywhere I went I saw mothers with their children and I began hating myself. I was useless. What man would want a worthless woman who couldn't even give her man a child? I started to worry that Phil would leave me for a real woman who could give him what I couldn't.

Then it happened. I ran into a guy I used to hook up with at college. He either didn't see my rings or didn't care but he was a man that wanted me. It took him all of five minutes to convince me to fuck him in a motel. This was something I was good at, cheap easy mindless sex. I remembered what it was like to know I could have any man in my bed. They all wanted to fuck me and I guess I figured that it was all I was good for now.

I put an ad on a swinger's site looking for random sex partners and the replies rolled in. My self-worth skyrocketed at first and I started pulling away from Phil and resenting him because I was sure he wouldn't want me anymore. It wasn't until I saw him looking at me with sadness in his eyes whenever I came home that I realized what I was risking. I had a great marriage with the best husband a woman could ask for and I was throwing him away, but I was also hooked on the rush of sex with strangers. The power I had over them, they wanted me so much they would do anything I said for a chance to fuck me. I decided that I wouldn't give up the sex games but that I would limit them to every so often when the urge got too great. After all, it was just sex. It had nothing to do with love. My husband got all of my love.

About a week before he was going out of town for business he came home and it seemed like he was ignoring me. This was unusual to say the least so I tried all week to get him to open up but he didn't seem interested. He didn't even want to make love. That's when I knew that he must have found out. He left the next day and I called my sister in a panic. She wasn't much help. I thought that maybe I could convince him that sex was just sex, maybe try an open marriage or something. It's not like I would mind if he got some pussy on the side, as long as he loved only me. I was getting desperate.

When he came home though, it was if my hopes came true. He had cheated while in New York, had gotten blown by some stripper. I could tell he was upset and feeling like he had betrayed me. He looked so sad there that it broke my heart so I comforted him. Told him I loved him and then sucked his dick like I was a contestant in the world's best blowjob competition. Then I fucked his brains out and told him how very much I loved him. Life was good. I had my affairs and he had his. We still had so much fun together and a marriage that was the envy of all of our friends.

Two years ago a friend of mine got caught cheating and her husband divorced her. It really was a wake-up call for me so I started going to therapy. Months of therapy helped me to understand how risky my behavior was and that my self-worth had nothing to do with whether I could have children or who wanted to fuck me. That it came from the type of person I was, the life I had built with my husband. I threw myself into a renewal of my marriage and resolved to never cheat again. Phil and I were making love again as often as we did when we were first married. Of course, mistakes can always come back to haunt you.

Some guy I fucked years ago recognized me on the street and wanted to hook up again. He wasn't interested in hearing that I didn't do that anymore and got very belligerent. It took a strangers intervention to keep it from getting violent. My depression resurfaced and I started therapy again.

Then I started noticing that Phil was acting funny. It almost seemed like he was hiding something from me. Had he found someone else? Not just some hook-up, someone he would leave me for? I checked his phone and he had been texting some woman named Anne. He had been texting her a lot. This was different than he had ever acted before. So I followed him.

He was meeting her at a hotel for dinner and then they went upstairs together. The hypocrisy was not lost on me. Here I was following my husband and upset about an affair when I had fucked countless guys. But this felt different and I was worried. He met her the next week and I saw them kissing after dinner. My heart was breaking and I guess my intellect and reason went right out the window. I followed her home to confront her, to tell her to stay away from my husband and that I would fight to keep him.

As I walked towards the door a young girl came out with a friend complaining that her mom had come back from her date early and ruined their plans to invite boys over. As they walked away it hit me. She was a mother. She could give him children and I couldn't. Was this his child? How long had he been seeing her? I knocked on the door in a rage.

Anne: I was devastated. I had fallen hard for Phil and when he kissed me I thought I would melt on the spot but then he pulled away and I saw the horror on his face. He called to tell me goodbye. He was falling for me as well and thought he was betraying his wife, that cheating slut. It was supposed to be casual but a man like Phil is never casual. I knew I had lost him. He had too much honor to continue to see me. My head was spinning so when I got home I sent Kristy out with her friend Beth and sat down to think.

Then someone knocked on the door. When I opened it, although I had never seen her, I realized who it had to be. The whore who was married to the man I was in love with. She started screaming at me to stay away from her husband and who did I think I was trying to break up her marriage. I just lost it. I was an emotional wreck already and this undeserving whore was accusing me? I started yelling back.

"He deserves someone better than a wife that has been fucking around on him for his whole marriage. He loves you and you break his heart every time you fuck around. He has known all along and keeps forgiving you. A slut like you doesn't deserve a good honorable man like him."

She laughed in my face. "He has affairs too. He always has. I didn't care if he fooled around every once in a while but he has started acting like he has someone new in his life for the first time ever. I am not going to lose my husband to you. I can fuck him better than you ever will and I love him. I'll never let him go."

My temper was now out of control and I spoke without considering the trust he had placed in me. "He has NEVER cheated on you; you stupid whore. It was all an act. It always has been. He overheard you telling your sister what you wanted and he gave it to you. He does it so that you won't feel guilty for fucking every dick you come across. You break his heart and he not only covers for you but lets you get away guilt free. You'll never deserve a man like him. I love him and I'll never have him because of you. I could make him happy and I would never cheat on him but he loves the slut who betrays him every chance she gets. We've never fucked. He won't even touch me because of you. He felt guilty for a kiss when you spread your legs all over town."

The enormity of what I had just done washed over me and I clasped my hands over my mouth. I don't know which one of us was more shocked, me for ruining a secret he had kept for almost twenty years or she for what that secret had been. We stared at each other for what felt like an eternity.