The Christmas Haters

So here's my story for the upcoming holiday. I hope some will enjoy it. Hope you will. So if you are a Christmas lover you might want to look for something more positive. The misery of the holiday is where this story starts. All mentioned in this work are above the age of eighteen.

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I killed St. Nicholas!

My confession being recorded on the cassette. The machine was far too big for the dirty table. The fat cop that occupied the chair across from me, held his stare into my eyes. Giving truth to the cliche about their love of doughnuts. As he fed himself a glazed special.

I'd just had the worst three weeks of my entire life! It all started on Black Friday. The day of hell on the planet! Millions of overstuffed shoppers flocking to the stores to save a few bucks. Why do I need just one day to give someone a gift? I renounced celebrating the holiday years ago. A Pagan knows that Yule falls too close to Christs birthday to be a coincidence. The six weeks between Turkey and Prime Rib, makes people crazy! You know that I speak truth. Everyone is in a hurry and there is no happiness you've seen it right? It was a few days before Christmas:

So the band had just put the finishing touches on the new record. It dropped Tuesday, just days before Christmas, we called it, "We hate Christmas!" Named after the title song. There were twelve other songs on the compact disk. All of our records have thirteen songs on them.

The song mentions how bad it gets out there. With crazy shoppers teaming the malls frantically searching for the perfect gift. Spending so much money to have to take a second on the house, just to pay for it all. It also refers to the fat guy not being real and how ludicrous the whole idea of Christmas is.

I had become recently single, kicking the last slut to the curb for not being able to keep her legs closed. Well she kept them closed for me.

Caught her in my room just the other night. Screwing on the mattress we shared. I told myself that it will be burned after she left. I would always have to beg her, just to touch me. She was banging this bastards brains out, she was going at it like she was a demon possessed.

The guy below her didn't seem to mind, in fact it was hard to tell who was giving more effort. I noticed a costume on the floor. Oh! So when is one of those mall Santa's better than me? Most of them are drunks! You've seen Bad Santa! It was in a pile, on the floor, the costume looked dirty and old. My girl was on top of him giving a good hard riding. This was a very bad Santa indeed. Going to teach him not to fuck around with women that are in relationships. Slime! Oh she's just as guilty the little slut!

I had no idea how long this had been going on, she was overly animated as she bounced up and down on his rather large cock! That explained it! He was hung! Almost three times as big as myself. The rage mixed with the green monster in me. I boiled over, seeing red, I flew into a rage.

Ok so our love life was a bit stale. You know the Wednesday night run through. If I made it past the three minute mark it was because I had a few drinks. I was losing interest, her cold outlook on sex with she wore on her sleeve so everyone would know how she felt.

Ok so I don't have a huge cock! I know all the guys in these stories are gifted in that area. I had to rely on charm and wit. Fair looking, my blue eyes helped me score plenty of hotties. I didn't satisfy one of them either. Four and a half inches wouldn't impress anyone. It was my curse.

Yes! She has casually mentioned my shortcoming in this area. She finished her speech by saying, "That size doesn't matter." Well apparently that was a lie. I knew better, she was stroking my ego. I've sort of known since meeting her, that I wouldn't be able to keep her.

Smoking hot! Green eyes, tone muscular legs and an ass you could bounce a quarter off of. She has a micro landing strip, and some perfect D cups in front. A heart shaped behind, her long brunette hair finished the package off.

I thought being in a headlining band, making decent money would help. No that wasn't the case. I mean we did struggle in the beginning. Now we were just taking off! So even if money could buy love, it won't buy a faithful girlfriend.

Funny she doesn't appear to have that headache she was complaining about last night. Man they must have been at it for some time. The room and hall was full of the smell of sex. I was seething with anger.

I stopped thinking rationally. I went to the living room and took my crossbow off the wall. Carbon fiber bolts with arrow heads, that would work in a food processor. I cock and load it. Turn on the laser site, and walk back to where the sounds of sex were coming from.

Slowly open the door, don't want to alarm my target! I raise it up till the green dot is pointed at his massive package. Timing is crucial here I don't want to kill her! So I wait for her to lift off his big cock, then I fire.

There is a fountain of blood, then her screams followed they could have woken the dead. My girl jumped off to the side to see me in the doorway. Eyes as big as saucers, and guilt painted on her face. I didn't even give her a chance to explain how she accidentally fell on top of him, then his big dick fell inside of her. Just a bunch of lies.

Instead I just load another bolt. Get it ready again. Using the door jamb for support. Her screams just got louder. This time I lift to just over his fat roll, taking aim at his heart. I fire!

Opening both my eyes I clearly see where the fat guy once was laying. The body vanished, leaving a small cloud of glitter behind. I blinked repeatedly as I tried to make sense of it. Wild he was gone no blood left behind. I thought I was dreaming the whole thing. I turned to my girl still naked as the day she was born and slack jawed. I can't explain what happened to him, one second he was there the next he was nowhere.

No time to fret about it now! I tell her to get dressed and get out. Saying I never want to see her again! She does what I ask having no ground to stand on. She doesn't even put up a fight. Twenty minutes later I am now alone and expect the cops any second. Another hour passes that's when I thought I would turn myself in.

So you see officer, I did kill Santa!

I just couldn't tell you where his corpse is.

The cop just looked at me like I was nuts. He suggested I take it easy on the drugs. Then walked me to the door and told me to go home and sleep it off.

I thought I would get the chair! Killing someone everyone loved and admired.

So I take the cops advice, still thinking that his body would show up somewhere. At least they would know who to arrest when it did. I got back to my house and dragged the mattress out back. Set it aflame, grabbed a cold beer and flipped on the tube.

I was asleep before I was halfway finished with my beer. I awoke the next morning, the events of last night flashed in my head. I scrambled around the house, looking for any evidence of the crime I committed.

Nothing! The remains of my smoldering mattress out back, was about it. Needing to relieve myself I ventured to the bathroom. Unfastened my jeans and yanked the jockey shorts down with them. I stood there in total disbelief.

The cock in my hand wasn't mine! It was massive it looked like it was swollen. Still somewhat soft, one hand could barely manage pointing it to the bowl. I could feel liquid drain from my bladder. I must have stood like that for fifteen minutes.

I pulled up my jeans and jockeys all at once to cover that monster. I just thought I was dreaming again. I shook my head trying to clear it as I walked into the living room. It was there, I noticed a card, placed on the mantle.

It was the only sign of Christmas in the house. The red envelope screamed open me now. I tore the card from its sheath, it had a likeness of the fat guy on the cover. Filled with questions I opened the card. This is what it read.

For you non-believer,

I wanted to teach you a lesson. Things got carried away, I'll admit. I should've said no, but your girl is fucking hot." I stopped reading so I could rub my eyes. Then continued. " I felt awful about what I did. If my wife were to get wind of this incident, she would shoot my balls off too!" Had to give that line a chuckle as I thought that he would of had it coming.

"So in return for your silence, my inability to say no to your girl, I gift you my cock. It's not really my cock it's yours, just much bigger! I hope you use it well and it assists in future relationships. I can't apologize enough for my actions. The added feature to this marvel of a penis, is its staying power! It will stay hard as long as you want! You will put porn stars to shame with your new abilities." I couldn't believe what I was reading.

He then wrapped up the card saying, "Again I do feel very bad. Hope you enjoy my gift. Merry Christmas.

S.C.

Then the card and envelope remains, just vanished.

I still hate the holidays. I just fuck better during them. In fact I've used my new cock four times now! It's amazing. The phone doesn't stop ringing.

Happy Holidays