The Contest

"I saw it coming a mile away. She's been restless for months. I've suspected for a while that she was a serial cheater. But she certainly exceeded expectations. What a slut! Twelve men in a month, and none of them were me, I'll have you know. I refuse to push my pecker into a pussy when I don't know where it's been."

"The pussy or the pecker?"

"Funny. So now I've got it: all the evidence I'll need for a slam-dunk divorce. And she'll be the one who is raped in the settlement. If I had hired a Private Dick, he might have cost me upwards of ten grand, and he could never have come up with as incriminating evidence as this. Those thirty-six hundred dollars was money well spent. And It will probably save me half a million bucks."

"Come on, Drew. Are you telling me you didn't tap even one of those sexy women who were falling all over themselves to have you? If Susie finds out that you did it too, she may still come out on top."

"Nope. I will prevail because my heart is pure. And because I think with my big head when money is involved. Boy it feels good."

"So about the contest, Drew".

"What about the contest?"

"Who won?"

My chest puffed up a bit. No trophy on the mantle. No bragging rights at the club. But then I thought of all that beautiful money that was staying home with daddy.

"I did."