The Contest Ch. 17

He had to be ... maybe ... five months old?!

Pure anguish had blood of who knows how many different temperatures flooding her skin and mind. She shivered against Naeva as her face and hands were soaked by her tears.

She couldn't get those months back.

***

After that Prince Mujun Yu had died, Rellenora's brain returned to normal. She was slow again. She was actually relieved about that. If some sorcerer had magically helped her out of the kindness of his heart, then Rellenora would have gladly accepted the change, but in her mind, that temporary change in her brain caused by Mujun Yu was unwelcome. His intentions, and the actions that followed, turned the change into a poison, and Mujun's death was the antidote.

The Royal Physician saw to her as soon as possible. She was examined in the most embarrassing way, but that couldn't be helped. Rellenora was grateful just to be home.

Her bed was cozy and firm in a way she liked. Before she had been kidnapped, before Ermen had been born, Rellenora had asked to have her bed changed for her personal tastes. Even so, Rellenora didn't sleep as well as she should have. When she woke up she was sore all over. Her eyes, her ear, her neck, shoulders, and arm all ached. She blamed the mental distress.

After breakfast, she went to Ermen's nursery. For a moment, she admired the pale green walls. Baby animals, sleeping or playing, had been painted against that green background. Rellenora shrugged and went to the crib, gesturing to the nanny that she didn't need to kneel.

Ermen was on his back, holding the end of his tail to his head. Maybe he was sucking on the tip instead of his thumb. Gurgling, he started pushing his body, and then, he was rolling over. He got onto his belly and began a rocking motion.

Such a strong, healthy boy!

Rellenora took him into her arms, careful not to scratch or poke him with her nails, putting her palm to his head and neck even though he was mostly able to control his muscles there. Ermen whined and leaned his body back, as if he wanted to get away from her.

He didn't know his own mother.

And he was bullheaded too, just like his mother. He squirmed and whined, firmly expressing his hatred of being in this strange woman's arms. When frustration had him crying, Rellenora tried to coo to him. She even tried giving him gentle bounces in her arms.

Ermen still blubbered.

Well, too bad, Rellenora thought. She was the mother, and she loved him very much. She wasn't going to waste any time. She decided that she was going to keep her baby as close as possible. She'd change his diapers, change his clothes, give him baths, everything except breastfeeding, but only because she was unable to do so. Wet nurses were truly a blessing.

Prince Yban and the Emperor visited the White Jade Palace for lunch. They had both been very cautious around her ever since she had been rescued. There hadn't been any sexual contact, and they hardly communicated. It was as if they were afraid that she'd buckle under them and die.

Then again, everyone seemed to be that way, even Naeva.

At least Rellenora wasn't afraid of her husband, as she thought she might be.

Thinking her poor arms needed a break, and Ermen might have needed a break too, Rellenora put Ermen in the wet nurse's lap and focused on eating all the first-rate foods.

Her back and arms were stroked and patted. Her face didn't warm as it should have. Her heart didn't happily dance as it should have.

She was looking across the room, watching Ermen snuggle with the wet nurse. Did he have a favorite toy? What sort of things made him laugh? Did he have a favorite blanket?

After lunch, Rellenora knelt on the floor of a soft room and put Ermen down beside a group of toys. The men knelt down near her, giving the boy words that sounded like laughing praises. The boy's tail wagged about almost like a puppy's. At one point, when Yban's deformed hand reached down to the boy, Ermen reached too, his chubby little fingertips swatting and tapping.

What a sweet child!

Rellenora's heart melted.

The men stayed for dinner too, but they left the palace after that, which was exactly what Rellenora wanted. She personally bathed Ermen, with Naeva and the nanny around to make sure she didn't accidentally drown the poor child, and then she settled him into his crib.

She knelt beside that crib, her fingers sticking between the bars so she could touch one of the boy's feet. She hummed a wordless, nonsense song. When she thought that Ermen was asleep, she pushed herself up and went to her bedchamber for what she hoped was a good night's sleep.

She skipped breakfast the next morning. She went straight to the nursery.

But ... behind the nursery's door ... there was crying, adult women crying.

Rellenora opened the door.

The nanny was holding Ermen.

Why ... was Ermen ... so limp?

***

Author's Note: And now I'm at a point where I'm not sure what to do next. I need even more time to finish this story properly. I think. Thank you for reading. I appreciate it.