The Crap Monster

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One day Axel, a hardworking father births something sinister.
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DrSpidey
DrSpidey
105 Followers

I had just came home from work one night.

My wife had called to tell me she was tired, so she just made a big of Hamburger Helper with a lb of cheese and two lbs of beans and just a hint of butt-blaster hot sauce.

I had a really bad day at work, what with my boss being his usual self, telling me how worthless I was and how his own five year old son could do a better job than me. So I wasn't in any mood to complain about her not making a home-cooked meal.

When I got home, I hung up my coat on the coat rack by the front door and headed into the kitchen.

My wife was dressed up in lingerie that left very little covered up, and you could see almost everything, her big nipples, her hairy pussy, her big, round ass.

My wife was young. I met her when she was 24. I had just gone through a bad divorce with my adulterous wife. Monica helped me forget her.

She had a pretty face. A girl next-door type of face, complete with red full lips, beautiful baby blue eyes, and platinum blond hair that was formed into a ponytail.

Her breasts were an HH cup, while her hips were 50 inches. Her skin was pale, as pale as powder; she never got enough sun, but her pale skin added further to her irresistible looks.

She was slightly over the usual weight for women. While she wasn't obese, she weighed 234 lbs with a bit of stomach fat, and some meat on her arms and legs.

I assumed, despite her being tired, she still wanted to have some fun in the bed.

She welcomed me home, kissed me on the lips, and we sat down to eat supper.

She asked me about my day, and I told her how poorly my boss treated me. She wasn't surprised, but comforted me like usual.

After we finished eating, we headed upstairs. My wife was quick to strip, but I followed her example, lagging behind only a little.

As she stood fully naked; I gazed at her big nipples.

Her gaze caught mine, and she flashed an innocent smile that showed all her beautiful, perfectly white teeth.

"You look so stressed, Axel." Her voice was velvety.

"Why don't I help you relax?"

*She eyed my swollen member; her tongue licking her succulent lips.

She leaned forward and kissed it on the tip delicately, then gave a few light licks, like she was licking a lollipop.

I leaned my head back against the pillow, letting a deep, long sigh of pleasure escape my lips.

"Baby, I've been waiting on your cock all day." Her voice sounded sad, "I've been rubbing myself all day thinking about your thick dick plunging into my wet pussy."

I turned my eyes towards her, smiling briefly as I reached a hand forward to her head. I ran my fingers gently through her hair as she took my hot dick into her mouth.

She looked at me; a look of approval in her eyes as she sucked me slowly. Her left hand grasped me, and she stroked my shaft up and down, gently nibbling on the head of my cock.

She purred sweetly at my touch, getting progressively rougher with her sucks. Her head bopping up and down with each suck and stroke made me sigh again.

"I want your hot cum."

She gagged over my dick. She sucked harder; trying to take me as far down her throat as she could, even though this made her gag even louder.

I could feel her saliva all over my cock. Her mouth was so warm. It made that familiar heat that I was so used to, return.

As she sucked and slurped; sloppily sucking me with every much hunger as I had while I was eating, her eyes watered slightly.

I lost it.

Hot jizz spurted forth from my tip, and Monica let out a loud cry, feeling every squirt hitting her the roof of her throat. She tried to drink it all, but as I pulled myself out of her mouth, a long trail of vanilla trailed down her bottom lip.

She licked it up with a look of enjoyment, then smiled wider, causing her smile to stretch.

"Your cock is still so hard, sweetie." She noted as she gazed down.

"I've been thinking about your thick dick all day. How tight if feels in my pussy and my ass."

She took my hard member into her hand as she leaned forward to place a loving kiss on my lips.

"I missed you, honey." She whispered against my lips. "And I missed you, dear. I always do."

She stroked me up and down; her kissing increasing in intensity.

She finally pulled away, and giving me a pleading look, rubbed the head of my rod.

She carefully seated herself into my erection; letting a scream out as she led me into her soaking wet pussy. I felt her juices against my rod as I entered her. She still felt tight, even after all these years.

She grabbed my waist and gently started to bounce up and down; her massive tits jiggling with each small jump she made.

"Fuck!" She cried. "I needed you so bad, my love."

She whipped her hair back, and let out another scream as she closed her eyes.

She stopped bouncing and just rocked her huge hips against me, moaning while she did so.

"My pussy feels like it's on fire."

She grabbed my hands and led them to her nipples. Her nipples went erect when I pinched them, and this made her moaning grow louder. She appreciated my touching her breasts.

"Oh..." She purred out, feeling me grip her melons.

She backed herself into my cock, impaling herself further on my rod which was so deep in her.

She resumed bouncing on me and I felt her huge tits bounce in my hands. I grunted at her bouncing, while she yelled my name.

Sweat poured down her face, and down her pale tits.

"Oh yeah, yeah baby, oh yeah. Oh, God, baby..." Her breathing was shallow.

She humped my dick harder. I felt like she'd fracture me with how she was riding. She was fucking me like a wild stallion.

"OH, FUCK!" She screamed. Her tits were trembling in my hand.

I caved in. Shooting a rapid stream of jizz into her drenched pussy, I breathed heavily.

She cried my name, arching her back, and squirted her pussy juice all around me.

She got off my cock and collapsed on my body; breathing heavily.

I was surprised how hard she pounded down on me. I was positive her moans would wake up the kids.

So much for being tired. Or maybe she was saving what little energy she had left for me. But suddenly my stomach started to hurt worse than I ever felt it hurt before.

I had to object to my wife's cuddling offer. I enjoyed feeling her big, velvety breasts smashing against my body, but my stomach just hurt way too much.

So I ran as fast as I could to the bathroom, naked and tired.

As I pulled up the lid and day down on the seat; my eyes watered. My butt felt like it was going to shoot out hellfire. It felt like Satan himself was poking me with his pitchfork.

I broke into tears; crying hard holding on for dear life so I wouldn't fly off. The rapid sound if shit coming out of my ass and possibly clogging up the toilet filled my ears.

I must have been in there for three hours.

When I got off the toilet, I wiped my ass and returned to the bedroom. I fell asleep underwearless and pantsless; cuddled up to my wife who fell asleep waiting on me.

I gave birth to something awful that night.

I woke up the next morning to see my room ravaged. Did someone break in and raid our room? Even my wife's panties, thongs and underwear were strewn all over the floor.

My wife was nowhere to be seen.

I headed down stairs after I got dressed and as I got closer, I heard loud moaning, mixed in with pleading and begging. Was she getting raped?

I raced down stairs and was horrified to see my daughter being anally fucked by a...Crap monster? That's exactly what it was.

It was seven foot nine, had arms and legs, a giant, penis that was at least 16 inches, big balls, and had eyes and a mouth full of fangs, all made up of crap.

"Please, stop!"

My daughter pleaded. I turned my face away. I didn't want to stare at my youngest daughter (she was 18) being raped by a creature of feces.

"You're tearing my asshole! AHHHH!!"

Tears streamed down her eyelids as the grunting turd monster pounded her ass without mercy.

But then....

"Don't stop! Please don't stop! Harder, harder, yes! Fuck my tight ass."

What the fuck was going on?

I turned to look, and as I did, she let out a lengthily scream. Squirt, squirt.

She came all over the carpet; a look of delight on her face.

The crap monster pulled out and she turned around, opening her mouth as he grunted. Crappy jizz shot out in a massive torrent, and my daughter took it all, despite gagging and flying into the wall.

The crap monster walked away.*

"Fuck me more, please?"

But he didn't listen. He walked away. I had to get revenge for what he did to my daughter. So I followed him. He went outside, a d started fucking my Doberman in the ass.

Pounding and pounding, pounding and pounding and pounding, just like he did my beautiful daughter.

My dog died. The crap monster's erect schlong punctured it through the stomach.

This couldn't be happening.

He went into my eight year old son's room and got another erection as he approached him. I stopped him.

Running up towards the crap monster I punched him twice, then round-house kicked him in the dick. He screamed in unbearable agony. He then cock-slapped me across the face and shoved his crappy dick in my mouth. I bite it off; crap going down my throat.

I took my son and ran.

My daughter was still downstairs, covered in her own sticky cum and rancid shit. She was just smiling from getting such an ass pounding.

"Honey! Where are you?" I called out to my wife. No answer. My heart raced.

"Honey! Please. Where are you?"

I shouted louder. I heard a commotion underneath the kitchen sink.

I walked into the kitchen, I opened the kitchen sink doors, and I found my wife, hiding. She was unscathed by the crap monster.

But then he was standing right in front of me.

He bitch-slapped me and my son into the wall with his dick, then grabbed my blond wife and dragged her out from underneath the sink and took her with him.

My wife was screaming as she was dragged away, kicking and screaming, begging him to release her, but he didn't.

I regained my composure, checked my son, saw he was okay and followed them.

"Axel! Help me!"

The crap monster took her to the living room and ripped her lingerie off.

His huge erection returned and he started laughing maniacally as his dick twitched upon seeing her pussy.

"Please! Let me go! Please!" *She begged; her eyes streaming with tears. She tried to escape, but he grabbed her by her porn-star like hips.

I realized I was powerless against this beast. I had to get help. I ran back into the kitchen and called star 1. This number contacted the living dead....And this number in particular was my answer to salvation. The crap monster was about to meet his undead-maker.

As the crap monster went to penetrate my wife's anus, with his newly regenerated cock, the walls door busted down.

"That was quick." I murmured to myself.

Walking into the living room and halting the crap monster's raging, crappy boner, was zombie Bruce Lee in all his glory.

Zombie Bruce Lee looked like Bruce Lee, but his skin was green, despite him having remained pretty much the same with no aging on his face or body; he looked the same as he did when he died. He was, after all, Bruce Lee.

The crap monster snorted at Bruce and attempted to jam his giant boner into my bawling wife's ass, but Bruce was faster.

Bruce sent a kick to the crap monster's hips and his leg broke through all the way to the crap monster's throbbing dick and balls.

His dick and nuts were destroyed. He howled in fury and anguish.

The crap monster went to punch, but Bruce was faster and side-stepped to the left. Bruce then kicked him in the face; knocking half of his fecal face off.

The crap monster yelled in fury at having his face cut off, and extended his left arm, increasing it in length and size, trying to put the disgusting, long crappy hand right into Bruce's mouth. But of course, Bruce wouldn't be having this. He punched the crap monster's arm off, with a loud 'waaataaa!'

Bruce then got in front of him as my naked wife rushed towards me, and punched him in the throat with his one-inch punch; killing the crap monster in mere seconds.

I thanked Bruce, and he shook my hand. He vanished like a mysterious overlord does, and was gone.

With the crap monster gone, I was at peace. My daughter ate the pile of crap, smearing it on her breasts, but I stopped her and sprayed it with Febreze.

I stayed home that night, and me and my wife had the most memorable sex since the first time we went to bed in our teenage years.

She sucked my dick until it was purple, and small I rode me until it felt like my bad were going I explode into a gory mess.

Monica gripped her tits, smooshing them together, flashing me another one of her angelic smiles.

"Ready." She said to me in a honeyed voice.

I pushed my cock between her tits and moved it up and down. She licked the tip each time it got close enough, but kept her eyes on my face.

I came all over her balloons and face. We fell asleep in each other's embrace. It was over.

DrSpidey
DrSpidey
105 Followers
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DrSpideyDrSpideyalmost 9 years agoAuthor
I know.

When I first submitted this, I was new.

So I didn't really see the humor and satire category until later.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 9 years ago
Wrong Category

Definitely started out with some horror potential but pretty clear after ZBL shows up it's a comedy.. humor and satire seems more appropriate.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 9 years ago
What the?????

Sick, vile, gross and absolutely hilarious.

Guess you could say I'm fucked in the head. *laughs wickedly*

Seriously, keep writing ones that are non human because those are really enjoyable.

praitorianlord11praitorianlord11almost 9 years ago
???

Read it and your comment, DrSpidey; definitely a Wtf, but funny!

DrSpideyDrSpideyalmost 9 years agoAuthor
TROLL PASTA.

Guys, this is a troll pasta.

Don't take it too seriously and have a laugh, I intended for it to be stupid anyways.

This was my first submission but it just now got approved.

I also should have done more with it but it was supposed to be bad since it was meant for the Trollpasta wiki.

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