The Day the Earth Stood Nude

The wall cracked open, widening into a silhouette. Through it, with about an inch of clearance around it, was the figure I had seen outside the ship earlier. It was a little over six feet tall. It had removed its greatcoat. Its uniform was decidedly Teutonic, and the same black leather that its coat had been. It still wore its boots, which went up to its knees. It had also removed its mask, revealing that it was not only a she, but also an extremely humanoid she.

What I had taken to be antennae were ears, looking almost like the wings of a raptor, but pointing up and forwards. The fur on them was light and fluffy, almost like feathers. The top half of her ears was a vulpine red, almost orange, while the lower half was the color of cream. Her thick, long hair was the same foxy color, and it tumbled down in waves to her chest. Her almond eyes were the color of an orange sunset, with no sclera and a bright yellow ring around her pupils. Her face looked youthful; I could have mistaken her for a college student, and she wore a serious expression. Just barely visible were two white tips against her lower lips: small, almost delicate, fangs. In the darkness of last night, I had missed her tail as well. Sleek and long, almost down to her ankles, it swished from side to side as she walked, as though it were a red, furry metronome. I was surprised by how human she looked: if she hid her ears and tail, she could easily pass for normal.

She strolled in confidently without breaking her stride.

"Greetings, Captain Kutensk! The subject is awake and responsive," announced 109.

"Good job," the alien replied. Her eyes quickly glanced at me then returned to 109's eye. "Have you told it the nature of our mission yet?"

"No, Captain. He is still ignorant of why we are here," answered the ship.

"Hm." She put her hand up to her chin and closed her eyes in thought for a moment. "We're not allowed to erase its memory unless the mission's integrity is compromised, correct?"

"Correct, Captain."

"How troublesome..." She turned to my worried face. "Earthling, I won't resort to threats. I merely tell you the future of your planet is at stake. We have come to visit you in peace and goodwill. What is your name?"

"Michael," I answered. "What did you do to me? Why am I in here?"

"I did nothing to you. I believe you fainted," she replied.

"Fainted?"

"Is there something else humans do where they shriek girlishly and then go unconscious?"

"...No."

"Then yes, I believe you fainted."

"What are you planning?" I asked.

"Well, Michael, we have come to make you ready for your ascent into the galactic community. The universe is growing smaller every day, and we must ensure that every planetary member of our community is mature enough to coexist with the other members. Intolerance by any one member will lead to insecurity and tensions, and may undo the work of ten thousand centuries.

Now this does not mean giving up any freedom, except the freedom to act irresponsibly. Just as your planet has policemen and judges, so do we. And just as your planet has prisons, so do we. If your planet refuses to join us, or refuses to mend its ways, it will be sealed off and any interplanetary vessels will be destroyed. Even without a proper warship, Never-Forget-That-Were-It-Not-For-Ten-Thousand-Generations-Of-Sex-You-Would-Not-Exist is more than capable of carrying out that mission."

"109, I mean, this ship could do that?" I asked, trying to absorb all this information.

"This ship could knock out everything electronic on this planet. It could take out every nuclear weapon by itself. If we had to, we could drop the moon," she replied, "although considering your planet's technology, I doubt we'd have to resort to that."

"Such power exists?"

"I assure you, such power exists. And with such power comes responsibility. Look at your own world, with its divisions. How long do you think that sort of power could exist here, readily available, before it was used?"

"Isn't it a little hypocritical to force tolerance on others? Isn't that itself intolerant?"

"Is it hypocritical to imprison a kidnapper, or fine a thief, or have a rapist sexually assaulted?"

"We don't actually do that last one...I think," I pointed out.

"Hm. Strange customs here. Nevertheless, the point stands. That which affects you is your concern, that which affects society is society's concern. You can think as intolerantly as you wish, but the moment you try to take another's life or their potential, you have transgressed inviolable boundaries.

"There is only one golden rule of the Omarim: act towards others as you would wish others to act towards you and always listen to the voice of your conscience. Everything else is local custom or superstition. People's beliefs are more often the result of their upbringing or their personal interest than of reason. You will find that almost no one has a belief that they were not raised to believe or that would not benefit them if true. Why, then, should we allow sapients to prosecute others because of chance and fortune?

"Now, we do not pretend to have achieved perfection, but we do have a system, and it works. Hundreds of civilizations that have less in common than you do with a mushroom live and work together in peace and tolerance. Every planet is free to join us or not, but those that refuse our offer cannot be allowed, for their own sake, to ruin the harmony of hundreds of other worlds.

"And that is why we are here. My mission is to push Earth towards a point where it can join us before it develops interplanetary colonies," Kutensk concluded.

Thoughts rushed through my brain. My god... The stars were populated by hundreds of other intelligent races... The Earth had achieved first contact, and the future of our planet hung in the balance... "What happens if Earth doesn't mature enough?" I asked.

"It will be separated from the rest of the galaxy. It is, perhaps, possible that a few individuals, if they are willing, will join the Omarim, but this is a very rare occurrence," she said with a smile, looking at the wall. "A warship will be parked in orbit with orders to destroy anything leaving Earth, as well as any asteroids or other objects that may collide with your planet and destroy your species.

"Usually such planets exhaust their resources and revert technologically, or they might destroy themselves. In such situations, we may try anew and take as many individuals as are willing to join us."

"How can you stop others from contacting separated planets? All it would take is one ship, and they could learn how to build their own, couldn't they?" I asked.

"We have a system. Never-Forget-That-Were-It-Not-For-Ten-Thousand-Generations-Of-Sex-You-Would-Not-Exist, explain."

"Oh! Well, every interstellar ship is like me! Sort of, I mean, there are different classes and we have different functions, but we're all members of the Ships, and there's no way to get from star to star without traveling in one of us, so if you tried, we'd just say no, and fly to the nearest police station to drop you off."

"The Ships?"

"They are their own race, primus inter pares, as it were. They are the backbone of the Omarim, and are totally dedicated to it. They have been there since the beginning, when it was only three races, including them. They are now the last of the original three to remain, and will likely be the last of us all," explained Kutensk. "So you see, if the system is not fair to the new planets, neither is it fair to us. None of us could leave without returning to a primitive level of civilization. Without the Omarim and the Ships, we have no form of transport between planets, no warships, and as I mentioned before, even Never-Forget-That-Were-It-Not-For-Ten-Thousand-Generations-Of-Sex-You-Would-Not-Exist can drop celestial bodies onto planets.

"There is no possibility of rebellion. We have given them absolute power over us. The penalty for provoking their action is too terrible to risk. The result is, we live in peace, without arms or armies, secure in the knowledge that we are free from aggression and war. Free to pursue more... profitable enterprises."

I looked at 109's blue eye. It seemed hard to believe that cheery voice could drop the freaking moon and take out everything on the planet. "What are you going to do here then? Call together the world's leaders and address them all?"

"Hardly. They're the top of the status quo. They have no reason to assist us. If anything, they'd just lead the resistance. Besides, widespread knowledge of our exact identity and purpose would be too unpredictable. We'll have to push the culture as a whole, not just specific people.

"Somehow we'll have to change the way your entire planet views sex..."

"Excuse me? Did you say...sex?" I asked, confused. "You came all this way for that?"

"I didn't mention it before?"

"No. I would have remembered."

"Hm. Well, sex is more important than you imagine. Especially as a metric by which we gauge civilizations. You would be surprised how many races are opposed to it by the time we discover them. And yet, without it, none of us would exist."

"Plus it feels good!" chipped in 109. "Or so I hear... I haven't really tried it yet myself..."

"...can she do that?" I asked Kutensk.

"Hm? Oh, yes. We need to make new ships, after all."

"How do they...do it?"

Kutensk looked at the ship's eye. "That's not my department. You explain," she said.

"Well when an order goes out for a conception, three ships meld their programs, and from the mixtures a million random new programs are born. Those grow up with other mixtures in an artificial environment for a year or two until one of them has proven itself the best, and then it joins its class-cousins in a new chassis! Oh, and the parents receive a month long orgasm for their contribution."

"A month?! An orgasm?!" I wasn't sure which was harder to believe.

"Lucky, aren't they? Pretty much every intelligent species requires a pleasure response in order to ensure it reproduces. It's just the way things are. The Ships got to design their pleasure response, so they've ensured that every ship wants to contribute to the next generation.

"Orgasms vary from species to species, though. It's not always a sudden burst like with humans."

"OK...so back to the old topic. Why sex?"

"Ah, well, if you're intolerant about others' sexual practices, you need to learn a lot about tolerance, don't you? Sex is necessary for the species, your own body has programmed it to feel good, and, unless you're involved, it doesn't concern you. If your neighbor gets off to potatoes it doesn't come within your jurisdiction. It's an intensely private act, and if it really bothers you how someone else does it, it's the first thing we need to work on. After our own mission finishes, they'll send another team to work on something new. But that's not my department," Kutensk said with a shrug. "My job is to do what I can to get humanity to accept others' sexuality."

"How will you do that?"

"Hm. Well, a demonstration works well to start with, I should imagine. We'll need to conduct more research before we decide upon it, though. Something that will affect the entire planet... I'll think of something. Something dramatic, but not destructive... Ah, it's quite an interesting problem," she mused.

"Oh, yes, would you assist us in our research? Movies and observation can only go so far. It will be most beneficial to be able to interview a human directly. In exchange, we'll help you in our own small ways." She grinned, revealing more of her sharp fangs.

It wasn't really much of a choice. Get to hang out with aliens? Help save the world? "I'd love to."

"Yay!" cheered 109.

"Glad to have you aboard, then. It'll be some time before we make our first move. Visit when you can, and we'll discuss the problem," Kutensk ordered. "But for now, you should rest. It's getting late, and humans aren't nocturnal, correct?"

"College students are, but I should sleep anyway. I'll try to swing by tomorrow after classes," I said, grabbing my stuff. Kutensk showed me out, and she and 109 bid me goodbye. I got no sleep that night. I was too excited. The earth was about to move, and I was going to be right there on the lever.

Over the course of the next week, I spent all my free time with Kutensk and 109. I couldn't really help them with the mechanics of sex, but they didn't much need my help. Every time I went over, they were watching porn. By the time I left, I always felt like I was about to explode. They mostly asked me about customs and the meanings behind certain acts and phrases.

A week after I first met them, I entered 109. Kutensk was soldering something at a workbench, wearing a pair of goggles. When the door opened, she stopped and turned around.

"How's the research?" I asked.

"Insufficient, unfortunately. But we have a solution!" answered Kutensk.

"I'm going to go with you today to observe!" said 109.

"I, uh, I think people are going to notice a spaceship following me around. No matter how good its camouflage is," I noted.

Kutensk looked around. "Never-Forget-That-Were-It-Not-For-Ten-Thousand-Generations-Of-Sex-You-Would-Not-Exist, where's your avatar?"

"Oh, I almost forgot!" 109 said. "I'll bring it in!"

A silhouette opened in the wall and in walked a beautiful, nude woman. Her skin was cocoa brown, a tropical tan. She was lithe and petite, about a head shorter than Kutensk. Her hips widened out from her waist like a fine Ming vase, and her thighs were nice and thick. Her breasts were massive, but almost floated. Her dark brown nipples were brazenly hard, and she had a soft tuft of dark pubic hair.

Her face was round and cute; with pink lips and a full head of fuzzy, black hair. Her eyes, though, her eyes were something else. Large, with long eyelashes, her irises were a brilliant shining blue. The same blue as 109's lens.

"Hi Michael!" she said in the ship's voice, posing. "How do you like this body? We fabricated it yesterday! Doesn't it look great?"

My pants tightened. I averted my eyes from her body. "Ya, it does... But you're going to need clothes if you're going to go outside with me."

"Why do I need clothes? I can't get cold. I'm a strong machine! Puny humans get cold!"

"And you should probably act more like a human, 109."

"Fine! Heehoo! Heehoo! Look at me! I am human! I need to breathe constantly or I will die! Now I'm going to go defecate so that my body does not fill with poop! How's that?"

"...Maybe you should just...talk less, in general. So you can observe better. Kutensk, are you sure you don't want to come observe instead?" I begged.

She stared at me. "You think I can hide these ears and tail? I'd stand out worse than she will. At least you have to hear her to know something's wrong. No, you two shall be fine on your own. Have fun. Take care of Michael."

"Will do!" 109 said, dragging me out of the ship.

"Wait, your clothes, your clothes!" I reminded her. "Humans wear clothes in public!"

"Oh fine..." she grumbled. Her eyes flashed blue and a silver wave flooded over her body from her back, covering her chest and abdomen, arms and legs, before solidifying, changing color, and forming into a tangerine t-shirt and tight shorts, along with a pair of shoes. "Are these enough clothes for you?"

Well...it would do. Her breasts were firm enough to not need a bra, and it's not like she had any Cooper's Ligaments to destroy. "Um, can you make it so your nipples don't poke through your shirt? You're going to attract a lot of attention that way."

"Oh fine..." Her nipples retracted, smoothing out her chest.

"Thank you, 109. Alright, I have gym class next, so let's head to campus. And remember not to talk too much to other people. Oh, and don't call yourself your real name. Go by...um..." What do you call a robot-girl? "Maria! Call yourself Maria, alright?"

"Maria...sounds good! I like it! Okay, Michael, let's go!"

The walk to campus was fairly uneventful. Once more people were around, Maria began asking me questions. Or rather, she began asking me one question over and over.

"Do you want to mate with her?"

"No."

"Her?"

"No."

"...Him?"

"No!"

"Are you sure your body is working correctly?" asked Maria. "It's alright if there's a problem. I've read that it happens to lots of guys."

"My body works fine, Maria. I just don't necessarily want to mate with everyone on campus..." We reached the gymnasium. "I have to use the bathroom quick before class."

"Can I go with you?" asked Maria, a broad, hopeful smile on her face.

"It's uh, sort of private. I'd rather you didn't," I explained.

"Okay, I'll just stand here all alone and unsupervised and talk to random people about how great it is to be humans..."

"...Alright, come on."

"Yay!"

Making sure no one was looking, we snuck into the bathroom and I locked the door. Maria looked around the stall. "Wow, humans have special rooms just for defecating? We just expel it into stars... What's this?" she asked, looking into the toilet bowl.

"That's where people pee, so move unless you want to get wet."

"What?! But this water's potable! You're going to taint drinking water with your urine? That's awful!"

"Well, I don't have a lot of options. I can't go outside or anything."

"I know! You can go inside me! I'll process it cleanly and efficiently!" Maria exclaimed.

"Inside you? How?"

Maria got onto her knees in front of me and looked up into my eyes, her blue eyes positively glowing with energy. I could see straight down her cleavage from this angle. She leaned forward a bit, pressing her chest against my thighs, and opened her mouth wide. "Just go in here," she explained.

I wasn't sure what to do. It was wrong, right? But then again, she was asking for it, almost begging me. I guess so long as she wanted it, it was okay. And she was a machine. It wasn't that different from using a urinal, right? "Okay, just, can you close your eyes while I go? It's a bit weird having an audience..."

She shut her eyes and opened her mouth, kneeling there eagerly, like a kid awaiting candy. I unzipped my pants and pulled out my soft dick, wondering the best way to do this. Seeing her there, her mouth open, her eyes closed, I couldn't help but think of fellatio. I could already feel myself stiffening. I gently rested the head of my cock on her lower lip and closed my eyes, trying to relax enough to go. I felt her softly close her mouth, wrapping her lips around my shaft, taking my manhood deeper into her. I gasped sharply. There was no way I was going to be able to do anything in this condition.

I opened my eyes and was about to tell her I couldn't do it, but the sight of her there...wow. Her tan breasts were almost entirely visible through the low neck of her shirt, and whether intentionally or not, her nipples were again poking through, nice and hard. Her happy, contented smile engulfed my cock as she patiently waited for me to release inside of her. My cock stiffened and thickened, growing inside her.

Maria opened her eyes in surprise and gripped the base of my shaft tightly. "Oh Michael!" she giggled with a squeeze. "You want to mate with me? I'm flattered... But I can't reproduce with you, you're a human."

"No, it-"

"No? You don't think I'm sexy?" she pouted.

"You are!"

"And you want an orgasm?"

"Oh god yes," I said, intending to have said it in my head. A lifetime of celibacy was too much. I had never even felt a girl's lips on my dick before. And now a beautiful, tan, nubile young woman was offering to make me cum... "I mean, it'll be good research, don't you think?"

"Hmm...the Captain did tell me to get data on human orgasm today... Alright. But...I've never given a human an orgasm before. You'll have to show me how," she said, her big, blue eyes staring up at me.