The Dayton Hillbillies Ch. 01

"Well, what a fine band trip that turned out to be," Jason was heard repeating over and over. I really can't argue with him about it, because it was quite a trip. Another way to say it would be:

We got off about 20 minutes late, and then the band competition at the Convention Center in New Orleans ran a bit more behind. The center is very nice and since our bands competed last, we were about the only ones there. I helped unload the instruments, but because we had three bands competing one after the other, I basically stayed outside keeping the equipment straight.

I can't swear this is true, but the top band looked like it was on the way to scoring a one (the top prize) when the drummer, his hands still greasy from his breakfast burritos lost his grip on the drumstick and popped the lead clarinet player in the head in the middle of her solo. Damned if she didn't pull the mouthpiece off her instrument and through it back at the drummer. Well, that one we hoped to score quickly became a four when the mouthpiece bounced off the drum and landed in the middle of the xylophone adding several dozen unwanted notes to the music. Lucky for us all the bands in the New Orleans contest got trophies.

After the contest the band loaded into the busses and rode to the hotel so the band director could check in and pick up keys. We didn't have time to get the kids off the bus, into their rooms and back onto the buses so we tried to maintain order until he finished the paperwork we headed to dinner. Michauls is not real far from Bourbon and Canal Streets, so we got to see a lot of the activity on the streets we had heard so much about.

We arrived about 15 minutes early, so we kept the kids on the bus while the restaurant prepared to receive us. While the band stayed on the bus, we noticed all the Mardi Gras beads hanging in the trees. Right next to our bus was a small crepe myrtle tree with a number of beads just out of reach (about 8 feet in the air). One of the chaperones asked the band director to get some beads. Well he just stepped off that bus, grabbed that tree and leaned backwards. That trunk bent easily so the beads were dangling in easy reach.

The band director stood there holding the trunk bent, while half a dozen chaperones were grabbing and jerking the beads from the trees. Some of them came out intact, some broke, scattering the beads everywhere. Of course, there we were looking like three types of monkeys hanging from the trees as several dozen local folks walked cautiously around us.

Further down the street, another chaperone found a 12 foot long 2x4 and worked on snagging beads from another, taller tree. Attracting the attention of a local hobo he soon had the man climbing the tree to rescue some more beads. When he finished, we did give him some booze money to thank him for the effort. Of course the band was ecstatic, watching us cavorting out there with a real, live hobo.

Anyway, after the Dayton Hillbillies finished hanging from the trees, we went into the restaurant bejeweled like a conquering army (actually only about five or six of us got some beads, but we were still spectacular). Stepping into the restaurant we saw Mardi Gras beads on sale for practically nothing. For the price of the hobo's beer we could have bought twice as many beads. But then again, that would not have been much of a conquest.

The hungry band chowed down on a buffet featuring red beans & rice, jumbalaya, Cajun cooked turkey, that wasn't all that spicy, and bread pudding for dessert. Anyway, we got the band members eating while the house band played some Cajun. After eating the band leader and a local lady there gave us all a waltz lesson. The band members joined in until it turned into something resembling a cross between a circle waltz and a mosh pit. My head ached just watching.

Returning to the hotel it took about an hour to get the keys passed out and everyone up on the elevators. I felt sorry for the civilians who walked up and waited and waited. We did try to work them in ahead of the band members, but many just decided to take the stairs. Everyone finally got into the rooms by about 9:30.

Once we got the band in their rooms and put a small piece of tape between and door and jamb everything quieted down. They were under strict orders that if any of them opened the door and dislodged the tape would face the band director's wife, also known as Behemoth Bertha. Well, the Dayton Hillbillies were down for the night and the halls were quiet except for one room where you could hear a petite voice calling out, "Free me, free me...." I made sure I got off that floor before they were freed and could begin their chatter again.

With the tape on the doors the chaperones didn't have to take hall duty until 2 or 3 am. Of course with the band not obsessing with getting out into the halls, they were free to turn their attention elsewhere... like the phones. But we didn't find out about that until the next day at checkout time and by then we were loaded on the bus ready for a quick getaway. The next big stop was Disneyland and the Hillbillies were on their way.