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The morning was uneventful as I sat in the concession stand selling snacks and drinks to the children of the housewives around the pool staring at my boyfriend. That sentence structure is perfectly correct by the way, the housewives, myself and sometimes the children were staring at Brent, his beautiful Adonis form had that effect on people.
I read my books and a few of the male club members flirted and offered to teach me golf not knowing that the lifeguard their wives were flirting with's seed was slowly seeping out of me, but that was about it until I got a text from Brent up on the life guard stand.
"Tonight I want to fulfill your fantasy."
"Oh? Which one?" I typed back, smiling.
"You'll see" he responded cryptically.
At noon, a dozen long stemmed red roses arrived with a note that said "Secret Admirer" and a girl who had never gotten them before felt loved and adored like she had never imagined possible.
- COMMENTS
Rawmaster50over 10 years agoJessica and Brent seem to be doing good now and one could wish it would continue but young love is rarely a smooth path or a straight one. I have enjoyed the humor and fun Jessica has when she is not getting caught up in the rage of emotions and hormones (and yes men can be the same way)
I have also enjoyed her humanity and her dreams. Keep writing please...Loving this story
thog4uover 10 years agoEnjoying the storyline. Originally thought it was of a woman with a sordid past; overdone. Really like how it shows some depth, luv story, and characters deserving and feeling one another. Look forward to more development in the next chapters.
tangentjokerover 10 years agoI am so glad you do not change POVs. If we want to know what Brent feels, we have to wait until he tells your character of Jess. Flip-flopping points of view can get confusing and, ultimately, very boring. I'm glad you're sticking with the single point of view. As always, I enjoyed the honesty in this chapter. There is a nice balance of humor and pathos and the honesty glues it all together. I like the reactions from Jess and the explanations of why she reacts that way.
Why, in this episode, are there no guys trying to flirt with her at the concession stand? Did something happen to make them back off? I'm curious about that.
One small point of grammar, when you have someone speaking for someone else, the inside set of quotations is singled. For example: I told Brent, "That would be a great phone call, 'Dr. Ron, I'm dating Jess, I had sex with her....'" I can't do an exact quote, sorry.
Just do me one big favor. Keep writing. I'm somewhat addicted to this series.
