The Descending of Jessica Ch. 11

I hadn't thought of Brent in a half hour or so, not since we were disrobing. Except when I was going down on her. And tongue fucking her ass. And several other times when I compared things to things he and I had done. I thought back to those moments and the thoughts I had then and realized something.

"I haven't stopped loving him. He hurt me so bad because I love him so much." I gasped as her fingers found their rhythm.

"Lets talk about that later." Carolyn said, before adding "Can I kiss you there too? I don't know how, but I'll try."

"YES! You can't do wrong, just think about what feellllllssss goodduhhhhh to you and.... do that." I gasped as her fingers hit all the right places with just the right pressure and motion.

Carolyn knelt at the foot board of the bed as I spread my legs and let her have access. She bent forward and was soon eating me in much the same way I had her, but she added a few innovations of her own. Soon enough I was about to cum. She did lightly poke at my ass with her tongue but her heart wasn't in it and quickly returned to licking my slit. Just as I was about to go over the edge, Carolyn began to lightly suck on my swollen clit and electricity flew thorough out me. Then a finger entered, followed soon by another and Carolyn probed my vag as she licked and sucked my clit.

I went over the edge and came all over her hand and face. I bucked my hips toward the sky and convulsed as she continued to probe and lick me. At some point I grabbed her head and forced it down on my clit and she increased the pressure of her attentions accordingly as I came again and again.

Finally my orgasm subsided, although it didn't really stop then, just slowed enough for me to return to my senses. My body was flushed with sexual relief and I was relaxed all over. Carolyn stopped and returned to laying beside me. She massaged my breasts as my breathing slowed.

"I wish you had a dick so I could suck it." She said.

"I wish I had a dick so you could suck it!" I replied, then added, "Then so I could fuck the shit out of you!"

We both laughed , then Carolyn said, "I mean it. I think I could do without Steve except for his dick. I love it when its all hard and I suck it all down until my nose hits him."

"Wait. You can get him all in you when he's hard? In your mouth, or throat, really?"

"Well yeah. Why?"

"That's amazing. When he's hard I can only get maybe a third of Brent down."

"Its not that difficult."

"Yes it is! One time I laid on my back and hung my head over the bed and I still couldn't get it all down."

"I've never had to do that. I mean, it's like getting a hot dog in my mouth, but thicker, you know? Like may be a kielbasa?" Carolyn giggled.

"Wait. How long is he?" I asked.

"I don't know, we never measured. Like I said, about this big." Carolyn held her fingertips five inches or so apart.

" Like five inches?"

"Yeah. I guess. Maybe six, or not quite that big. I don't know. Why?"

"Carolyn, we need to get you a real dick."

"What!"

I held out my hands to estimate the length. "Brent's is about like this hard, and about as thick as, I don't know, a plantain?"

"Really? No way!" She exclaimed.

"Um, yeah! Geez, you need to dump Steve. Especially if he keeps cheating on you. Haven't you ever seen any porn on the internet?"

"Jessie, I just got back together with him! I can't just dump him now. And well, I've seen some porn, but I didn't think those guys were normal. I mean, I think some of them use a prosthetic."

"Uh, no. I mean, I don't know about others, but my experience has been that it should be longer than a Vienna sausage when its hard. We need to find you a dick!" I grinned.

"Could be. Apparently there is a whole lot I don't know. I guess I'm not as tough as you Jessie. I mean, I know you've been shook up, but I'm amazed that someone who was so in love last week could have the self control to just stop loving like that."

"I haven't." I again confessed.

"You really still love him?"

"Yes. I'm mad, stupid, crazy in love with him. That's why it hurts so bad." I replied.

"Well, I guess the next step is deciding if he's worth it or not, and if he is, how are we going to get you two back together?"

"I don't know, and if we did, I'm not sure it would be the same. The thought of him doing things with her..." My voice tapered off as I felt the hurt returning.

"Hey! She's just a whore, forget about her. If you want him, no one can stop you from having him. If you don't, then you've already shown you can live without him. So don't let him hurt you anymore. But." Carolyn abruptly stopped.

"But what?"

"But sooner or later you'll have to talk to him to find out what you have, and what you don't, and what you want."

"I'm not ready for that yet." I confessed.

"I know. And I'm going to be here a week anyway, so lets just hang out and have fun with no worries. And if you want to talk about it, we can. And if you don't, well, uh, as I said earlier, I don't want this to be a one time thing." Carolyn concluded by again kissing me deeply as I returned her affections. I was comfortable in sharing our bodies and our sexuality together, if only for the time being. I knew I could never be with another woman full time, but Carolyn was special, and she made me feel alive again after Brent had left me for dead as an emotional husk.

We made love all night, and the morning brought a new, and better day.

We slept late again, but classes were out for a week and it was only Sunday. We didn't talk about our night together, but the smiles we showed each other told that we have each reaffirmed our right to happiness together. We didn't avoid it either, there was just no reason to talk about it. We were there for each other. Carolyn was taking care of me, just as she had promised, even my most intimate needs, that being to share affection with another. I in turn was giving her the courage to finally dump Steve after all the cheating he had done, but she still wasn't ready. As it turned out, Jennifer the Pageant Whore was only the most recent of several flings he had.

I really was beginning to hate that creep.

We decided to do brunch again then settle in to study and do homework all afternoon. Once school started back it was only two weeks and then finals week, then we would be out starting the second week of December. I was fortunate in that three of my classes had essay papers to turn in as finals and those could be done at any time, while the remaining two only required a comprehensive test if the student was unsatisfied with their current grade. I had A's in both, and had no plans to risk a final in either. So it was that I gathered up my materials to go work in the library, and Carolyn hers.

Carolyn was finishing the last of her engineering classes. She was in her third year, and had another year of general core studies, but her most difficult classes were at an end. I was scared of math, she was scared of history, sociology and art. Our fears and strengths complimented each other, but at present there was nothing we could work on together. That said, it was going to be nice to have her working along side me, and the school work would keep my mind from Brent. And his tramp slut Jennifer the pageant whore.

But of course, no plan survives contact.... As we were about to leave for the library, the dorm phone rang. Carolyn answered, still protecting me from the outside world.

"Hello? Yes, this is Carolyn, yep, still here. Oh? Who? What does he look like? And her? Anyone else? No, we'll be right down. No, it will be fine I'm sure."

Carolyn hung up and said "You have company downstairs."

"Brent again?" I asked as my stomach went sour and my heart rate increased.

"Nope. This time you'll want to see them." she smiled.

Carolyn wouldn't give me a hint, as we rode the elevator, and so I was nervous when it opened.

"Sissy!" Brat shouted as she ran and threw her arms around my neck and I hugged her and never wanted to let go.

"Brat! Its so wonderful to see you!" I opened my eyes and saw Ron in the lobby smiling. "Thank you" I silently mouthed to him as tears of joy filled my eyes.

"She demanded that I bring her to see you." Ron smiled.

"Oh? And what were you going to do if Ron wouldn't bring you?" I asked.

"Steal his car?" she grinned.

"Brat! You don't even joke like that!"

"I missed you." She whined.

"I missed you too. So much it hurt." I said as I sat down on one of the sofas in the lobby.

Brat immediately crawled on my lap, and even though her knee hurt as it touched my stomach, I couldn't complain. Just holding her brought me immeasurable joy for some reason. My stomach had been tender for a couple days anyway, I figured from all the crying, but it could be that my period should start anytime as well. I was on day four of the iron supplement, but wrote my tardiness off to all the stress.

"Were you guys heading out?" Ron asked.

"Just to brunch, then the library. Care to join us?" Carolyn asked.

"We'd love to. Hope you haven't made plans for the afternoon Jessie, Miss Sarah plans to occupy your day if that's alright. I've got a thing in the city this afternoon and she was hoping to stay with you."

"Oh, I would love that! You want to see campus Sarah?"

"Whatever you want to do!" She beamed.

"You're going to brunch with us aren't you Dr Anderson?" Carolyn asked.

"Wouldn't miss it." Ron replied.

"Great! That means Jessie won't try to teach me how to drive a straight again!" Carolyn laughed.

Brunch was great. Both Brat and Ron avoided mentioning Brent, but otherwise we caught up with what was going on in each others lives. Brat was particularly excited to learn that once my essays were written, edited and turned in classes were essentially over for me. She wanted me to write them this week and turn them in Monday so I could then come home and hang out with her. She even volunteered to lay out of school all week to help me, but both Ron and I vetoed this idea.

"Why don't you want to go to school? I asked.

"I do! I just want to see you more!" She declared.

"Well, we're going to see plenty of each other, no matter what."

"Promise?"

"Yep, I promise."

"What about...." she said, without saying his name.

"Brat, that's not for you to worry about. I made a promise to you and I'm going to keep it. That I don't know how yet doesn't matter, so don't worry about it. If I have to hurt a little it will be worth it to hang out with my sister." I said, and although my voice shook a couple places, I meant it.

"I don't want you to hurt." She whimpered.

"You let me worry about that. Now, tell me how math is going."

Ron dropped us back off after brunch and we spent a couple hours just walking around campus pointing out the sights, what few there were, to Brat. We finally made it to the library and she was amazed that one building could hold so many books. While Carolyn took a nearby table to study, Brat and I combed the children section, which was there for education majors, as well as any children that stopped in I suppose, and found books to read to each other. She went through some rudimentary children's books she knew from maybe fourth grade, and it was clear she hadn't been reading other than her school assignments in some time. Okay, it was up to me then to teach her the joys of reading for fun. I found the first Harry Potter story, The Sorcerer's Stone (I know, in the UK and else where its called the Philosopher's Stone but we live in the American south. We invented BBQ, Blues, Rock and Roll, Country, and Soul, and if we want to call it a Sorcerer's Stone we will. Deal with it) and began reading aloud to her. Only Carolyn was on this floor of the library with us, and she didn't mind the noise. After a few chapters Brat and I took turns reading as she became as engrossed in the story as I had at about her age. We read the rest of the afternoon and into the early evening when my phone vibrated. Ron was apparently back and ready to pick the Brat up.

"Shit. I wanted to see how it ended." she said.

"Don't use words like that." I gently scolded her.

"You do." She smirked.

"Well, don't use them all the time. They lose their effect if you do. Save them for when you're really pissed." I grinned.

"I am pissed! I don't know how it ends, and I've got to leave Sissy and I don't know when I'm going to see you again!"

"We've been over that Brat! Now, lets hurry to the dorm, I have a present for you there." I said, as I left the book on the table.

"Don't you have to put it back?"

"No, here they prefer the librarians do so its sure to go to the right place. You know, there's a library back home too, Allison will take you there if you ask."

"I want you to take me." She replied.

"I will too. You aren't going to run out of books to read anytime soon."

Brat, Carolyn and I hurried back to the dorm and arrived just as Ron did. It was dark now, and beginning to get cold. Ron was ready to go, but I made him come in so I could show Brat my room and give her the present I had promised. Ron tagged along without protest as he hadn't seen my room either I think.

My room was basically clean, thankfully.

Brat complained that it was small, and I told her folks weren't supposed to live in dorm rooms forever, just while they were in school. She still thought it was small.

I reached onto the small book shelf and took down two of my books that I had brought from home.

"Here, I want you to have these." I said as I handed her my copies of Sorcerer's Stone and Chamber of Secrets.

"Jessie! Oh thank you!" She cried.

"When you get done with those, I will bring you the next two. Okay?"

"Okay! I will read them this week!"

"All right, but make sure you read them! I can tell if you have just watched the movies, they're different!"

"I will, thank you so much!" We hugged again and it made me sad to see her have to go. Ron was full of hugs now too, and slipped me a few hundred dollars to "tide me over, just in case." He already deposited money in my account every month so I felt awkward taking more, but like Allison, when I protested he just replied "I can't take it with me and I'm not leaving it to you!"

Carolyn and I walked them to the Lexus, where more hugs and kisses were exchanged, then Ron and Brat both thanked Carolyn for taking such good care of me. She blushed at this, but truly she was a life saver I believed.

The rest of the week was dedicated to study and figuring out our relationships, not just with Brent and Steve, but with each other. In the end, we decided more or less that our relationship wasn't definable. In some senses we were lovers, but mostly we were just best friends who had crossed a line into sexuality that neither wished to cross back from. So, moving forward we would have to find a way to be available emotionally always, and physically sometimes, for each other. What made me feel odd was that I was attracted to no other women, just Carolyn, and she said she felt the same way. Oh well, I wasn't going to try to figure it out, I just enjoyed it. Carolyn was really hot.

On the Brent front, Carolyn had helped me to decide to try to take Brent back, but not until school was out. My marriage was put off, perhaps indefinitely, but I did like the idea of being engaged, although clearly that brought no security. I guess it just helped me validate my anger, which is what my hurt had become over the week. I wasn't aching anymore, although physically I was still hurting from all the tears and crying. My tummy ached most of the time and I still felt ill, but now I was just pissed off that the bastard had cheated. I still hadn't spoken to him, although I was speaking to Allison again and had forgiven her for her failed effort at causing me to talk to him.

Saturday I drove Carolyn back to Tech, but she had figured out this would be her last three weeks there for awhile. We had concocted a plan whereby she would move to my school for the spring and summer semesters, then return to Tech to graduate the following fall on schedule as she couldn't obtain a degree in engineering from mine. We would room together and just generally be happy, plus we could take a lot of the same classes as I would be taking my core classes and she had skipped hers and now had to take a bunch to graduate. The credits would transfer with no problems, so it worked out quite nicely. As I had finished my papers I had no more studying to do, and in that week also decided to major in History and eventually teach high school.

We stopped in the city for dinner along the way, and the world turned again.

We went to a chain restaurant known for southern cooking and for long waits for a table which causes the customers to stay in a large country gift shop selling all manner of southern touristy crap. I'm not giving specific names but if you live in the south you know the one I'm talking of. We approached the hostess station and two things happened, pretty much at the same time. Carolyn's phone rang with a call from Steve on the line, and my biological mother looked up from the lectern and asked how many in our party before she recognized me.

Carolyn talked on the phone, her voice steadily getting angrier, but I didn't hear a word she said.

"Jessica?" my mother asked.

"Yes. Donna? Mom?" I replied.

She came around the lectern, wiped her hands on her brown apron and threw her arms around me.

"I thought I would never see you again." She gasped as she began crying.

I didn't really want to hug her back, I hadn't seen her in nearly three years, and the last memory I clearly had regarding her was being told that she would be going to jail for prostitution. Never the less with everyone staring at us I had little choice but to gingerly place my arms around her while she pressed her face to my chest and cried.

"Donna!" a guy in an ugly tie said loudly behind her.

"Oh, I'm sorry Embry, this is my daughter, I haven't seen her in forever!" she said.

"Okay, well, Karen will take over. Why don't you two go catch up for a few minutes." he smiled.

I didn't really want to catch up either, but I wasn't cruel enough to embarrass her, especially since she was actually working a real job.

The last several years had not been particularly kind. She had gained both weight and wrinkles, her once auburn hair was now bleach blonde and this caused me to almost not recognize her. Still, she had been so scrawny from all the drinking and dope the weight gain was probably healthy, and she didn't look bad for a woman in her late thirties. Geez, she was my age when she had me, that meant she was only 36 or so now. She looked older, but healthier, than I remembered her.

She hooked her arm into mine and led me to a table on the far side of the place. Carolyn came along but looked like a zombie. She was holding the phone to her ear with her mouth open and a look of shock on her face. Tears were clearly welling up in her eyes and her face was ashen. The table was away from the crowd and the staff, which was good.

"Let me look at you!" my mother said.

"No. I don't want you to look at me. I'm not even sure I want to talk to you. You did all you could to ruin my life, don't act like you give a shit now. Carolyn are you all right?" I said to my mother and asked my best friend.

"Jessie, please, can I talk to you for just a minute?" my mother pleaded.

"Why? What could you say? That you're sorry your boy friend or your crack was more important than your daughter? That when she was trying to turn 16 you were trying to turn tricks? What? What could you possibly have to say?"

"Let me say two things, then if you want, I will leave you be."

I was really beginning to worry about Carolyn, she seemed stunned but figured I had to get rid of my mother first, if you could call my biological history my mother.