Carmen: I understand, I was just getting panicked when I didn't hear back from you. Things are fucked up Jeremiah. They're insatiable. All the want to do is fuck. Until they started eating food. Then they didn't want to stop, focusing on the dessert bar until they were almost sick from eating so much. Don't even get me started on getting them dressed. That was just plain weird.
Jeremiah: Sounds crazy. Hold on a minute.
Alyssa had climbed the stairs, four heavy books in her arm. I indicated the phone, and held my hand over the receiver.
"Carmen is on the phone," I said, "Want to listen? Have any questions?"
Alyssa thought for a second, then asked, "Have they shown any other strange behavior? I mean beyond being sluts, which I understand to be counter to their norm."
I held the phone away from my ear, so Alyssa could lean in and listen and spoke into the phone.
Jeremiah: Carmen, What things have they done that have been out of character.
Carmen: Weren't you listening? Just about everything! Fuck!
Jeremiah: I want to... uh... write it down. Could you repeat everything, please? Start back from when I left. Go over everything.
So Carmen told Alyssa and I the story about what happened after I left her dorm room.
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Phone convo?
This story is fun so far and written fairly well but why on Earth would you write a phone conversation like that? Just write it like a normal conversation, picture it like a split screen of two people holding phones and speaking if that helps. That bit yanked me right out of the flow of the tale.more...
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